salt by salt

He was silent for a few seconds, and I didn't speak.

Sitting very close, when looking at each other, it seems that they are very far away.

"I didn't intend to hide it from the beginning, I will tell you one day." Yang Chen finally said, "But not now."

The fine wound on the palate is still not healed, and the tip of my tongue passed over a little bit, and I tasted the taste of blood.

"why?"

"Because you will go."

After he finished speaking, he turned the car around without saying a word, and I immediately understood the meaning of his words.If you tell me, I have no reason to stay with him, so I don't want to say it.

Is this the first time Yang Chen has shown such obvious weakness in front of me?

The car drove for a long time before stopping, and he didn't get out of the car, holding the steering wheel and wondering what he was thinking.I didn't even have the interest to see where I was, so I hesitated for a long time and still pulled out a smile, trying my best to put on the most sincere expression: "I won't go."

Yang Chen turned his head to look at me, that surprisingly handsome face seemed to be covered with a layer of dust.

"So it's okay to tell me. I really want to know, you will give me whatever you said just now..."

"Xu Junyan." His voice was very soft, "Stop talking."

I shut my mouth in embarrassment, feeling a little discouraged.Watching him open the car door and get out of the car, the resentment hidden in my heart surfaced again.

If there is no him in this world, it would be fine if I didn't meet him in the first place.

"Do you know where this is?"

I got out of the car, and he stood beside him and introduced me in a normal tone: "My parents got married here."

The buildings here are quite old, and a western-style church stands among the nearby residential buildings, which looks very harmonious.The sign outside said that the cultural relics protected buildings are forbidden to enter, but Yang Chen took out a key from his pocket and opened the iron gate.

"As long as you want to do, there is nothing you can't do." He said to me, "When I was a child, there was a big park nearby. My mother often took me here to fish. It is a waste to demolish and build a house."

Land is very expensive in City B, and they wish to make the most of the available land. It would be strange if there were parks everywhere.Although I thought so, I didn't say anything, and followed him across the courtyard into the church.

The interior of the church is grand and empty, and the rows of benches have been empty for a long time.Fortunately, it is generally clean and there is no accumulation of debris. The afternoon sun shines through the stained glass windows, and the dust floats in the light beams.

I didn't know what Yang Chen meant by bringing me here, so I simply stood in front of the podium to admire the inner statues, and I also enjoyed watching them.Until Yang Chen took my shoulder: "I gave you a ring in high school, remember?"

"...My memory is not so bad that I don't even remember this."

That was the beginning of the second semester of the third year of high school.As soon as he sat down in the classroom, he casually pushed me a gift box, and pretended to be mysterious and asked me to take it back to see again. I couldn't refuse it, so I had to accept it.

When I got home, I unpacked it and found a ring that was too plain.The silver ring is inlaid with elegant patterns, the size can be adjusted, and a small diamond is embedded in the middle.

Seeing that it wasn't the precious jewels that I had to return no matter what, I felt a little more at ease.Although the ring is simple, it looks elegant when worn.But I have no interest in wearing this kind of thing. I put it back after trying it out, and then put it in a locker.

"My dad didn't have a very bright future after he transferred from the army. That's when he met my mom."

Yang Chen looked up at the colored window, the sun shone on his face, and the hair was reflected in a bright amber color: "Grandpa works in the south, and he is talented and flexible, and helped him a lot. Later, it was logical for him to talk to me. Mom is in love, use that ring to propose to my mom."

I didn't expect this ring to be so important, let alone that he gave me such an important thing casually.

"I spent most of my time with my grandpa when I was a child. It wasn't until he passed away when I was in primary school that my dad took me back. You said my mom was so pretty, and my grandpa treated him like a mountain. My dad became a door-to-door son-in-law. Grandpa was afraid of him. I couldn't face it, and let me take my father's surname. I didn't understand at first, what was he dissatisfied with? Then I figured it out. "

"People are like this. What he doesn't want, no matter how good it is, is useless." Yang Chen lowered his head and looked at me, "Xu Junyan, I planned for a long time before, and wanted to propose to you here, on this day. But We ended up at this point."

He stared at me quietly with a familiar expression.

I looked up at him and suddenly understood where this sense of familiarity came from.

I've seen that look once.One day in high school, he drew mischievous graffiti on my face and wrists. I stood in front of the sink and washed it with water desperately. The skin was red and there were faint black marks.

At that time, I really loved him, but it was also really painful.

Finally I gave up, reached out to wipe off the water on my face, and was about to go back to the classroom. When I looked up, the expression in the mirror clearly fell into my eyes.

Exactly the same as him at the moment.

"You like to read books on the second floor of the library by the window." Yang Chen said slowly, "There is a newspaper borrowing room next to it. Once there were a lot of new newspapers, and the senior sister in charge couldn't move them. Go over and help her. Have lunch with her. The foreign teacher approached you and asked for your contact information, but you did not refuse. You often go to the exchange group to share your reading notes. There is a student from the International Department who deliberately scored in your group, and you still go with him Playing badminton on the playground."

I tried my best to think back, but found that these things were just trivial things in my life, blurred into a blur in my memory, I don't know why he mentioned it: "What you said... I don't remember at all."

"But I remember. Xu Junyan, I noticed you a long time ago."

I recalled that I was going to play the memory card.It's a pity that there are not many beautiful pasts between us to miss, some are just scarred and bloody.I suddenly felt ridiculous: "What's the point of saying this now—"

"I see."

Yang Chen sighed deeply and smiled again.

That smile was bitter and painful, not at all like the proud and ruthless him before.

He stood in front of me and stroked my cheek with his hand.He was trained by me just now, this time his movements were very careful, but he was too careful.

I lowered my eyes and caught a glimpse of his pure black wrist watch, wandering to the blue veins on the back of his white hand.They were beautiful hands, with well-defined joints and long, strong fingers.Strangled my throat, took my hand, and gave me short-term pleasure and long-term torture.

"I don't know what to do, it seems that nothing I can do can make it up." He whispered, "Xu Junyan, I don't really want to hurt you, I just... don't believe that you love me so much, I always want to see if you can hurt me." How much can you do for me?"

In that room full of mirrors, my naked body could be seen in all directions.Frolicking and ridicule echoed in my ears, everything was like a reflection in the water, distorted into colorful ripples, I was submerged in the bottom of the water, and I was about to suffocate.

At that time Yang Chen was sitting next door, standing on the bank looking down at me.

He watched and watched and kept watching.

Watching my outstretched hands sink slowly, watching me being swallowed by overwhelming gossip, watching my dreams being torn apart under the spotlight, watching me kneel at his feet like a dog.

他 说:

"I regret what I did to you."

It seemed that the hot sun that hung in my sky in the past was gradually cooling down, and I felt desolate.

There was a little expectation in his eyes: "...you still love me, don't you?"

Yang Chen, if you really think so, why do you show such a frustrated expression?

"Don't lie to yourself, you are so much smarter than me, why don't you know the result." My voice was very soft, "Trap me with the information in your hand until you get bored or fall in love with someone else. Throw me away like a piece of waste paper, clean and tidy, good for you and me. If you want to consume, I can only spend it with you. "

"Give me time, we can start over." Yang Chen said, "Two years, no, one year. When the cooperation with Xu Yucheng is over, I will take you out of here and live the life you want, okay?"

Maybe his father has never seen him pleading like this, I thought to myself.

"It's as if I have a choice, it's up to you. Anyway, I can't escape."

Even if I make up my mind not to get rid of him by not wanting information about my life experience, it is still impossible to get rid of the Xu family.Rather, as long as I am still a member of the Xu family, I will never be able to leave the circle of interests tied around Yang Chen.

I know Yang Chen, he is the type of person who will not let go until he achieves his goal.If he wants to move himself with an oath of eternal love, let him do it.

I also know myself, and I am cruel enough.