Jean Love

"Crack...!"

I raised my right arm, slightly opened my thumb and index finger, and the half-empty beer bottle fell onto the floor tiles, with a crisp sound, it shattered into pieces of glass and scattered into pieces. It was sizzling, flowing, and there was silence all around.Yes, I got angry, I got angry again, I couldn't bear it, I really couldn't bear it, especially when I heard the word divorce from my brother, brother and daughter-in-law, my heart hurt so much that two tears hung in my eyes.

I also became a mad dog, without growling or hysterical, with a seemingly peaceful tone, taking turns preaching, speaking some words that I don’t know if they have practical meaning.

"You haven't been at home for a few days. I asked you to come back for a family meeting today. I didn't ask you to come back and get angry." I looked at Chen Wu's face, stared into his eyes, and stared at him for a long time. A kind of sharpness overwhelmed him anger.

We have been married for so many years, have you ever seen me be so fierce as Zhao Xin?I didn't even mention her loudly, and neither of us blushed. What kind of onion are you? The food is doing hygiene, helping the two children bathe and wash clothes, she treats Brother Xiao Wu as her own, can't you see it?

Also, you two, divorce!Do you think you are still children playing house!Divorce with your mouth shut, divorce at every turn!For a trivial matter, do you know the first time Xiaojing came to Foshan from Guangzhou with her mother and Zhao Xin?That night, I only took a few pieces of paper and coldly told her to sleep on the floor of the rental room on the fourth floor. I was observing her and testing her, because I couldn't figure it out. Three brothers, my brother is tall, handsome, and cheerful. Generous, and her external conditions are not better than Zhao Xin!Is this fate for you?Is it love?Just like it?

Chen Wu, do you remember that Xiao Jing was trapped in her hometown in Guangxi, saying that his elder brother and sister-in-law had already received a deposit from someone else's family and planned to marry her to someone else. At that time, Xiao Jing called you for help. How did you feel at that time?I ask you, can you sleep?You said you couldn't sleep, and I asked you if you were eating well?You said you don't want to eat, I ask what do you want to do most now?You said you were going to rescue her in Guangxi. At that time, your family opposed your going. They were afraid that you were not familiar with the place and that you would be bullied, just like when you told me not to go after the car accident in Shipai that year, because you were worried that I would be hurt. , that is a kind of family concern.

And I didn't stop you from saving her, I told you to ask your heart, ask a few more times, are you afraid, if you are afraid, don't go, if you are not afraid, then go, whether you are afraid, in fact, is love Love, when the heart is moved, the true feelings are moved, there should be no fear.If you fall in love, try not to leave regrets.

When I knew you decided to go, I encouraged you, remember?I taught you how to keep your expenses, and how to protect yourself, remember?Oh, it's all right now, the children are over one year old, and they get divorced every now and then, it's that simple!

While I was talking, tears fell to the ground, my brother stopped crying, and Xiao Jing stopped crying.

After a pause, I looked at my brother: "As the eldest brother, I have never wanted to say anything, because I feel that I am not qualified, and I don't want to make mistakes. I really want to take care of your face, and take care of your face as a big brother. When I got to the point of my mouth, I swallowed it again, I hope you can see it and show the demeanor of being a big brother."

When I want to get angry with you, I always think back to that year when I was studying in Beijing and asked you to buy me a Walkman, you sent it to me without saying a word, and I found out later that you Borrowed money from everywhere to buy it. At that time, a few hundred yuan was not a small amount of money. I am very grateful. I still think of the coconut juice grapes you brought back for me at the Holy Lake Hotel. The scene of sending me money and quilts with a bad bicycle, a thin and thin figure, rain or shine...

Today, I also have to talk about you. When you opened the store in Dongguan, I felt that you were unprepared for things, only enthusiastic, or a momentary enthusiasm.Later, when you came to borrow money, do you know why I asked you to write an IOU?I want to give you pressure, the kind of pressure that can motivate you upwards.I told you years ago that this shop was opened for Chen Wu's family, and I wanted to put pressure on you. When you came here, I was also putting pressure on you during the conversation we had just entered the door.

Actually, I know you don't have a job.My cousin from Shenzhen called me and told me that you asked him to borrow 2000 yuan, and asked me what are you doing now?He said that it is not a problem to give you 2000 yuan, but the problem is that you are engaged in pyramid schemes.My cousin who was teaching called me and told me that you asked him to borrow 2000 yuan and asked me if I would lend it to you. He was also worried that it would hurt you if I borrowed it.

After so many years, you can't even take care of yourself, you are displaced, and you borrow money everywhere. Haven't you ever thought about finding out the reason?You see, you have only been here for a few months, what was your state at the beginning?What is the status now?

You are lazy, I know, you are jealous of Xiaojing’s purchases, I know, you start running to the opposite side to play cards, I also know, mother told you to be ambitious, Nian’er needs money for studying, told you not to play cards, told you not to listen , your mother quarreled with you, and you pointed to her face and said: "Damn you, who told you to fight to keep her in the first place." You also said: "I don't gamble if I die."

God!You can say such things, and you have said it more than once, even my colleagues couldn't understand it, and told me that raising a son like this is better than not raising it well.

Regarding Nian'er, when we separated years ago, I also said that since my mother made the promise, I will bear her living expenses. I can't guarantee how I will live, but as long as I am here and I have food to eat, Nian'er will not drink porridge. This is a promise, and mother should listen carefully. Don't repeat this question again and again. It's nagging, since there is no way to put pressure on you in this way, why bother to crush you.

do you know?You should have seen it too, I am basically not funny now, why?Is it because I don't like children?There are factors in this aspect, and more importantly, I am afraid, I am afraid that like my mother and Nian'er, the originally good family relationship will end up being scolded and deserved, and it will become a self-imposed responsibility.

Let me remind you that when you do things, you only have the enthusiasm of the waiter in the shop, but you lack the calmness and stability of the shopkeeper. Pay attention to the adjustment and cultivation in this area, and you will live better than me and Chen Wu.

This restaurant was paid for by me, decoration, kitchen utensils, 3 to 1000 yuan was invested, and the beer money from the day before yesterday, more than [-] yuan, was paid by me. I don’t even look at the daily income. Xiaojing has full control, and the monthly turnover is distributed by you. I participate in the distribution, but I don’t get any money. As for how much you share, it depends on your performance. Whether the performance is good or not, it depends on your efforts. .

Also, it's been a few months, have you guys seen me take a penny from here?I only have to pay, and I am thinking that in addition to the tuition fee for the whole child this year, I am willing to use my monthly salary to fill the supply and demand here, to see if I can support a stall to share my pressure and the pressure of this family , As a result, it seems that I am still wrong.

Do you still feel disadvantaged?Chen Wu went to work, so he kept his head steady, what could Xiao Jing do with the child?How much income can enter the factory?You must know that the income entering the factory is relatively dead income, and here is living income, some income that cannot be converted into cash, potential income, and have you suffered a loss?Are you doing well in Guangzhou?Can you bring your family and daughter together in Guangzhou?I don't want to ask these questions, but I have to ask them back. I feel that I am rude, and you are very..., how should I say it?well!Don't mind you, I feel that you are losing points, dear brother, on the stage, say good words and bad words, say it face to face, and after you say it, do what you should do!

If you can't do this, and the root cause of your inability is because you care about every detail, because fire and water are incompatible, it's all between your brothers, sisters-in-law and sister-in-law, if you really can't accommodate, I really have no choice, mud I can't support the wall.

You don't know, or you should know, that my father and grandma are enemies. We quarrel here, and we quarrel at home. Every two days, my father calls to complain. The tone of mourning makes me feel uneasy and don't know what happened What kind of day is it, she is repeating the bitter days that our brothers have gone through before, I know it in my heart, but I can't do anything, I really can't do anything.

We should have known it when we left, and we should have imagined the situation at home, but I can't help it, I really can't help it, I imagine that my mother's illness can be cured here and she can get better quickly, one of you can Putting this restaurant on my shoulders, plus my current income, I will suffer for two or three years. At that time, my mother will recover, and Nian'er will go to junior high school, and everything will gradually get better...

I remember that day was June [-]th, [-]. We had a lot of conversations until very late at four o'clock in the morning. I said a lot of things in a mess. Is it right or wrong? I asked a colleague from my hometown who was present at the time, and he said: "Brothers are getting older, they are all married and have children, it is best to separate and support yourself. You also live well yourself first, live well yourself first. Well, leave them alone."

"Yeah, of course it's the best way, but they always seem to have a bad time." I said.

"If life is not good, death is their own business." The colleague was very decisive, in front of everyone.Maybe this is also a way, but I can't tell anyone, I also have my own little calculations, I want to help them up selfishly, and when they are all over, one day, I'm tired, I'm really tired , that's it, no worries...die!

After that night, the restaurant was still open as usual, the elder brother and his in-laws were there, Xiao Jing was there, Zhao Xin left on the third day, took her simple luggage, and went to Zhongshan again, the son was at school, and the mother took Brother Xiao Wu's hand Hands sent her to the train at the station, and I watched from a distance.

That summer vacation, my father and Nianer came, and the family huddled in the dining room. When they were leaving, my father said to my mother: "You are fine, you can enjoy the blessings here, but I have a hard life. I have to go home to farm, and I have to support my mother." That old man." The old man burst into tears.

The restaurant business is getting worse and worse, Chen Xiong and his mother, Chen Xiong and Xiao Jing, occasionally argue and quarrel about some things, they can't explain it, and it is impossible to always preach.Later, Chen Xiong left with his wife and children.Only my mother and Xiaojing were left in the dining room. Chen Wu and I often went to help out. Watching my mother get up early and stay late, boil water, add coal, and cook porridge. She was so tired that her face was sallow and her hair was dry. The original intention, so I gave up, and on New Year's Day that year, I transferred the restaurant.

After returning home from Dongguan and getting married, I thought about hiding myself, hiding myself, and just living quietly like this. In the factory, I always felt that I was doing okay.Through this opening of the store, I saw the beauty of life more clearly. I suddenly felt that I would be eliminated soon, including my whole family. We would be eliminated soon, and I began to panic , I want to find a way out, first to find a way out in thought, to unload the burden of thought, and then to find a way out in life, I can’t sit still, but what can I do?Where to start?