Jean Love

It was funny just now, I wanted to cry this time, I really wanted to cry, I wanted to cry aloud, but I still endured it, suffered and endured it, I didn’t find a reason to cry aloud, let alone a place to cry aloud.I don't know what I did for the rest of that night. I was in a daze. When I woke up the next morning, the sun was still there, and my work was still the same, but my mind was numb and dry, and I quickly returned to the past.

At the beginning, we also talked on the phone. Slowly, I mostly called him. The sound of the motor of the car, or the sound of the horn, or the noisy voice of people in the restaurant.He once said that his job will be easier only in the rainy season, and he will be very busy in autumn and winter. He has to drive a sports car every day, and there is basically no rest. I miss him, but I can’t disturb him because I miss him. Gradually , I also seldom call him, and send him a message when I think too much, sometimes I reply, sometimes I don’t reply, I don’t care.

During the dinner with my colleagues that day, there were a lot of toasts, and I did not refuse anyone who came, because I drank in a hurry and threw up quickly.I apologized and said goodbye: "Eat slowly, I'll go back first, I'm a little tired."

Regardless of being rude, I left the hotel first, walked on the street alone, and sent a message to Lao Zhang. It was very simple and direct, just three words: I miss you.After sending, I counted my heartbeats waiting for a reply.The vibration of the mobile phone stopped my heartbeat and my daydream. It was his reply: "Looking back with tears today, the past is vivid in my heart. I accept your affection, and my heart flows when people go to other places. The mountain is the same, The land remains the same. Why is it difficult for lovers to get together. I really miss you, and my broken heart trembles. I want to leave but I can't bear to leave, and I can't stay if I want to stay. I'm a lonely boat!"

After reading this message, I became sober when I was drunk, and immediately called him. It was his voice, and I asked, "Did you send this message just now?"

he said yes."

I closed my eyes, let the tears flow, and sighed for a long time, a refreshing cool wind blowing over, the long-lost happiness!It turned out that he didn't go far.

On the Mid-Autumn Festival, I sent him a message of blessing in the morning, but he didn’t reply in the evening. I called him and said, “Sorry, the number you dialed is temporarily unanswered, please try again later.” This happened several times in a row, It has been like this for a few days in a row. It is like this with my number. I am not reconciled, so I will try another number.

I picked up the landline on the desk and got through: "Hello, hello, hello," it was his voice, a gentle and familiar voice, I gently put down the receiver, speechless.The operator who consulted the mobile customer service told me: The most likely reason for this situation is that the other party has set your number into the blacklist in order to prevent being disturbed.What else can I say, in fact, he has reminded in the message early in the morning: People go to other places and their hearts flow, and I can't stay if I want to stay.

I waited until the National Day, but still didn't get a call from him. I borrowed someone else's mobile phone and sent him a message: "In a blink of an eye, it was the National Day again, and Chang Yi's lonely boat was gone. Why didn't the river flow backwards, and the lights on the other side were brightly lit. Once, you were my life-saving straw. Although I knew it hurt you, I dared not relax for a moment. But now, you have become the blue sky above my head, still beautiful, but out of reach. Love (allow me to call it love) I will choose to let go and good luck to you!"

The days are still going on as before, muddled, one week, one month, one year.

That day, I was pacing in the yard of the factory bored, looking up at the sky, the sky was gray, and I couldn't tell whether it was dawn or night.There were bursts of firecrackers sounding from the gate of the factory. The sound started quickly and willfully, but the sound fell hysterically. With a sound of "bang!", when the last sound was diluted by the vast atmosphere, everything returned to calm.A group of people surrounded the sound: bowed their heads slightly, arched their backs, clasped their palms together in front of their chests, and prayed.

Just as I was about to go and have a look, a black car stopped in front of the road where I was walking with a bang.That unassuming whistle seemed to be greeting me, I looked up casually, when the familiar outline like a mark came into my eyes, my first reaction was to take a deep breath, as if At this moment, his distracted eyes penetrated the windshield of the car like a spotlight and fixed on his face. His eyes met, and he seemed very relieved. There was a trace of joy and smile that maybe only I could understand under his plain face.

When I sorted out the descriptions and stood in front of his window at the speed of emergency gathering late at night in the barracks, the air was still condensed. "How are you doing recently?" It was his ordinary greeting that broke the subtle and short-lived deadlock.

"It's okay! It's okay!" I also suppressed my nervous and chaotic mood.

"Get in the car and take you to a secluded and peaceful place."

"Okay!"

Sitting side by side in the car, silent to each other, he was not a very talkative person, but I was surprised that his behavior today exceeded his previous character, and I couldn't react for a long time, and I was not sure that he would bring me Wherever I went, I thought to myself: "Whatever he is, with him here, everything will be fine."

He drove the car at a high speed, looking at the series of silhouettes fading away from the car window, like the burden I had thrown away, my whole person became erratic and brisk.I'm in a good mood.Time also seems to fly as fast as my happy mood.The car stopped abruptly among a piece of flat green grass, with mountain forests in front and fruit forests in the back, and the deep and slender tree-lined road paved with sand and gravel on both sides, with white birch forests on both sides of the road, heroic and heroic, just like soldiers lined up. in Apple pie order.

We got off the car, turned over a low hillside, and found a place to sit on the opposite hillside. What we saw in front of us was a strip-shaped reservoir. Our family often called this kind of reservoir a mountain pond. The water in it was green and green. With bursts of silk-like delicate and highly textured ripples, against the backdrop of a little bit of sunlight, it looks like the gold-encrusted scales on the luxurious dress of a noble lady in a high-end party.The vegetation on the other side of the pond is lush and lush, and the wind is swaying, swaying bursts of refreshing fresh air.People who have stayed in the noisy city for a long time, in such an environment, seem to be in a fairyland on earth, and the relaxation and comfort slowly permeate the whole body like a woman taking a rose bath.

"Long time no see, are you free today?" I asked Lao Zhang.

"I've been very busy since I left, and today I happened to come over with my boss to settle the balance of last year's payment."

"Where's your boss?"

"He paid the bill and went to socialize with others, but I didn't follow."

"How do you know about this mountain pond?" I asked again.

"I found it by accident while driving by before. It's very secluded and suitable for rest, so I've been here a few times."

"It's hard to imagine you sitting here alone in a daze." I laughed.

"No, I like swimming. It's a kind of enjoyment to be alone in such an environment and such water quality."

During the words, he stood up abruptly.I just realized that Lao Zhang, who didn't pay much attention to dressing in the past, is dressed very solemnly and grandly today: a brown open-collar shirt, a pair of brown trousers, and old man's head brand leather shoes, which are well polished.The whole outfit draped on his tall and burly body showed a breathtaking charm, and his dark skin under the brown collar showed his calmness and sophistication.

"Shall we swim together?" He secretly squeezed out a smile.

"Okay, but I don't know how to do it." Born in the south of the Yangtze River, I suddenly felt sad because I was so clumsy that I didn't know how to swim.

"Help me with this." He took out a small and delicate kit from his neck, and handed it to me, very carefully and prudently, as if entrusting him with an entrustment, which made me very curious.

I was about to ask what it was, but my thoughts were diverted by my eyes. I saw that he was unbuttoning his clothes neatly with his back turned to me, one, two, three until the familiar but unfamiliar upper body was exposed.He folded the shirt and stretched out a big hand to sweep the tender grass on the ground, then put the shirt on it evenly.Then I unbuttoned the belt buckle, which made my heart flutter like he unzipped the zipper, and after a "snap", my body trembled slightly. I don't know if my psychological reaction can be used after being defined as "abnormal" by many people. "Instinct" to refute.

Maybe I have no need to refute anyone, and I have no power to refute anything. I only know that I like, really like, like the same sex, like the mature and stable same-sex, and like Lao Zhang's body surrounded by only a small triangle.My thoughts wandered between the judgments of beauty and evil, right and wrong, but he had already removed his entire outfit, standing tall and straight on the edge of the mountain pond, with his face facing the water and his back to me.Doing a series of preparatory actions before launching into the water, such as reaching out, kicking, arching the back, and twisting the joints.

"Hey! What's in your kit?" I purposely shouted in order to have a more complete and lasting view of all of him.

"Tianji!" He turned around slowly, then slowly returned to the original state, jumped into the water, and splashed high and high.

I'm not in the habit of looking at other people's stuff without their permission, so I had to hold it in the palm of my hand.Focus on watching him swim happily underwater.

He sometimes dives, and smiles at me when he comes out of the water, sometimes breaststrokes, sometimes butterfly strokes, and sometimes backstrokes. The fleshy ball surrounded by hairs that look like black moss is also faintly visible with the ups and downs of his body, which is really alluring.Or seeing me staring at one place lecherously, Lao Zhang would simply do a dog-planing style, causing waves to splash, what a joy!

Watching him have such a good time underwater, I was very moved.So he shouted: "Old Zhang, I'll come down too, okay?"

"Okay." You come down from there, where there are terraced rice fields that have been abandoned by people, and the water is not so good, Lao Zhang raised his finger.