insensitive

The egg whites were half beaten, and the sound of the humming motor was annoying. Cang Erdong took advantage of the fact that his mother turned around and couldn't see him, and secretly took the phone to look through the photo album under the cover of the egg beater.

Recently, he managed to get the right to use the mobile phone at will. Although his mother would not stop him, he just wanted to touch it like a thief if he had nothing to do.

He poked the screen with his finger to slide the photo album up, and swiped across a large area. He remembered that it was probably a photo taken in the third year of junior high school or the first year of high school. He didn't need to look at it seriously, and the dark thing suddenly jumped into his sight.

That was the number of times Fang Qiusheng tried to make him a small dessert, but the two of them stayed in the room and forgot what they were doing. By the time they realized it, the small cake was already too mushy, and the kitchen was too hot. No, when Mom and Dad came back, they were moving the fan at home to blow all kinds of things into the kitchen, and they were punished to stand in the corner to eat.

Of course, Fang Qiusheng would not let him take photos of failed works. Speaking of which, the other party is a disaster in the kitchen. I don’t know if it’s because of his poor hands-on ability or his natural incompatibility with cooking. There are always some weird accidents.

And at that time, he accidentally took a photo of the object called cake before it was thrown into the trash can, and kept it until now. Fang Qiusheng had seen it before, but he didn't recognize what it was.

"Winter."

When her mother's voice came, Cang Erdong didn't respond immediately, but hid the phone behind her back in an instant, turned off the eggbeater slowly, and then slowly raised her head: "Mom, I fixed it."

Chen Nian held his forehead helplessly, not knowing what to say, pinched his son's nose, and taught him what to do next.

"Mom, when are we going home?"

"You can go home when Dongdong's pheromone stabilizes."

"Then if I'm not well all the time, can I only be locked up here?"

Chen Nian paused, and touched Cang Erdong's head at the original height, but he could only touch his face, so he rubbed his face: "It's not locked here, it's just hospitalized, and both parents I'm with you."

Cang Erdong pouted, and nodded noncommittally.

Chen Nian looked at him in a daze.

Cang Erdong has grown rapidly recently. When I was a child, I worried about my height for a long time. Now I have easily grown to 1.7 meters five. For the usual treatment, my hair was cut so that it would not hang around my neck. My whole body became refreshed. The baby fat on his face disappeared, but he lost a lot of weight because he didn't eat well, and his skin became much whiter if he didn't go out in summer.

And these changes are not limited to the surface, even Chen Nian sometimes thinks that it is not only Cang Erdong himself who cannot accept this change, but also himself.

He was not used to Cang Erdong's hesitancy to speak at first, no matter how big or small the matter was, Dongdong would grab him and talk non-stop, from seeing a bird on the road, to finishing homework seriously, to today's The candy is very delicious, and the mother is so beautiful, the child always has endless words, intermittent and illogical, jumping out of whatever comes to mind, dragging Cang Jingxing over and forcefully pushing him into the bed to sleep.

He knows that Dongdong has to work harder than other children in this aspect, because he often cannot understand some things, and it takes more effort to tell them, so he will try his best to listen patiently, experience, explain, let I can integrate into the other person's world.

But this kind of effort is limited. For example, he still can't figure out what it means to pass a song, which sounds like jelly, or stir the soup, and the small vortex that turns out is the description of today's mood. His Comprehension ends with the song being nice and in a good mood, but the child obviously didn't get the reaction he wanted.

And now this sense of estrangement has become more profound after Cang Erdong stopped rambling on talking to him after his differentiation. Chen Nian couldn't understand the emotion that he couldn't express in words before, from that indifferent face.

"Mr. Chen, excuse me, Dr. Wen is looking for you."

"Ah, here we come."

Chen Nian was in a hurry and almost knocked over the pots and bowls on the table. He finally managed to stabilize the one holding the flour, but he still sprinkled some milk on Cang Erdong's body. Somewhat helplessly, he took out two pieces of paper and gave them to the other party. wipe.

"Mom, let me do it myself." Cang Erdong borrowed the paper and tugged at his cuff, "Maybe Dr. Wen is going to talk to you about letting me go."

Chen Nian couldn't help but patted Cang Erdong's buttocks, said "I hope, I hope" and walked out.

The room became quiet again, and Cang Erdong fiddled with the things on the table, sat down again after realizing that they couldn't be cleaned up for a while, and turned on the phone.

Today is September [-]st, the day school starts, but he has taken a semester off due to physical reasons—maybe even a school year, after all, it is the third year of high school, and courses cannot be made up casually.In order to keep him from being bored, Chen Nian brought a lot of baking tools over to teach him how to make cakes. It is actually quite easy to learn, at least better than learning mathematics.

So why is Shengsheng so clumsy?

Cang Erdong continued flipping through the photo album. In fact, the mobile phone doesn’t do much for him. He can contact very few people, and he doesn’t like to play games. Some things, such as the fog in the morning, the breakfast shop with many people, the steaming soy milk, two long shadows, the sugar neatly arranged in the hands, and the back view of that person.

Fang Qiusheng appeared very frequently in his photo album. Alpha seldom left him, and at most it took only one street. They did so many things together that Mom and Dad always thought they were going home from school. It takes more than three 10 minutes to walk, but in fact they are always taking long detours.

Cang Erdong's hand rested on a photo of Fang Qiusheng listening to music with earphones. He remembered that it was the commercial street closest to the school, opposite to his home. Fang Qiusheng always liked to take him there for shopping. The disc seemed to be a new one brought by the godmother. Fang Qiusheng listened very carefully with headphones on, and watched the disc over and over many times.

"Shengsheng, are we going back?"

Xiao Cang Erdong asked in a low voice, then took out a jelly from his pocket, tore open the package and took a sip. The sweet aroma of lychees made one very satisfied.

"Shengsheng, we..."

Xiao Fang Qiusheng suddenly put down the earphones and turned around, rubbed his eyes and said to him, "Let's go home."

But just now he was nervous and dropped the jelly he had just torn on the ground. The jelly flicked and fell to the opponent's feet. He swallowed, and before he had time to remind him, Xiao Fang Qiusheng stepped on it. The floor of the video store was tiled again, and the other party slipped and sat on the ground.

"I'm sorry, Shengsheng."

"Why are you eating jelly again? Didn't I tell you that you are only allowed to eat two a day?"

"I, you, you ignore me again."

"I don't care about you or you don't want me to care about you."

"I...I know I was wrong."

Xiao Fang Qiusheng ignored him, and went to the front desk to borrow a tissue to clean up the shattered jelly, and then walked out.Xiao Cang Erdong followed behind him step by step, a new piece of background music had just been cut in the store, the rhythm was not so fast, and it made people's hearts tremble uncontrollably.

Little Fang Qiusheng was already a head taller than him at that time, and he walked quickly with tall legs. He fell behind a lot, and finally couldn't take it anymore, so he stood still and kicked the small stones under his feet.

Sure enough, after the other party couldn't hear his footsteps, he didn't take a few steps and stopped. As soon as he turned around, he ran over and finally threw himself into the other party's arms.

"Shengsheng, I know I was wrong."

"You know shit."

Xiao Fang Qiusheng drank in a low voice, threw him into the grass next to him, pressed him on the ground and kissed maniacally, even the grass was scalded in midsummer, the grass hit his back and face, and the sweat dripped onto his face and slid into it. In his mouth, Alpha's breath sprayed to the tip of his nose.

Everything was so hot that he could still recall the feeling of his life being drained a little bit. When the other party let go of him, there was only a white light in front of his eyes, and he was so deprived of oxygen that he couldn't recover for a long time.

Cang Erdong threw the phone aside, and curled up in the corner of the sofa. The air conditioner in the room must be broken, so he was so hot. The temperature from inside to outside was astonishingly high. His breathing became even, but he only felt that there were hands strangling his throat, making it more difficult for him to breathe.

He saw the alarm lights in the room go on and off, and saw the nurse rushing in, opening and closing her mouth as if to ask him something, but he couldn't hear anything.

——He seems to be trapped in the universe, there is no air, no sound, it hides too many mysteries, so it is desolate and quiet, so lonely that it is suffocating.

Mom and Dr. Wen soon came in, and Dr. Wen started to prepare the syringe with a cold face. He is familiar with the medicine. Every time he loses control of his pheromone, he will receive an injection, and the time for observation in the hospital will also change accordingly. extension.

Mother wiped his face with paper while Dr. Wen was preparing, and Cang Erdong realized that he was crying so hard.

"Dongdong, what's wrong with Dongdong? Are you talking to your mother?"

Cang Erdong finally understood what his mother was saying, but he opened his mouth, but he still didn't say a word.

He glanced at the phone that had been knocked and dropped on the ground. If someone happened to press it, he would find that the first notification was Fang Qiusheng's speech at the opening ceremony of X University as a freshman representative.

This is the third month that he hasn't seen Fang Qiusheng. There are no text messages, no phone calls, and he hasn't even added a photo to the album shared by the two of them. He once tried to dial the other party's phone number, but the mechanical female voice on the other side was calm. Tellingly: "The user you dialed..."

He didn't even finish listening to this sentence, so he pressed the hang up in a hurry.

He remembered that Fang Qiusheng got drunk in his own home after quarreling with him that day, and when he and he slept on the floor wrapped in a quilt at night, Fang Qiusheng probably kept talking in his sleep because he didn't sleep well.

He said over and over again, Dongdong, I like you so much.

Cang Erdong was so disturbed that he couldn't sleep, so he said something, and he answered, no.

Don't like me, I'm not smart or good-looking, I can't understand a lot of things, I have to listen to you three times, every time you get angry I just apologize, every time you look unhappy, all I can do is listen to you If you don't, every time you watch some slightly esoteric movies, I don't quite understand what is being said in them, and I can't resonate with you.

I can't even keep the person I like from crying, you see, now my mother is holding my hand, and her eyes are red again.

I'm that ruined failure, you can't recognize my face in a blink of an eye, so I don't deserve to be liked by such an excellent you.

When I went home that day, Cang Erdong and his mother described the jelly-like music for a long time, wobbly. My mother understood it for a long time, and finally just put a lot of it in his schoolbag. Later, when he listened to that song again, it was already It doesn't feel like that anymore.

He didn't blame his mother for not understanding, in fact, he himself didn't understand until now, the feeling of uneasy, the feeling of being left far away.

Cang Erdong knew that he should be thankful that the phone call was not connected, and that Fang Qiusheng was finally on the right track, but in this world, no one would turn around and open his hands when he stopped. .