Pavlov and the White Moonlight

"I'm nervous, I...forget it." When I saw that it was a tattoo, my heart was still beating wildly, and I stretched out my hand to touch it worriedly. The skin on my wrist was smooth, and I couldn't really tell otherwise. That tattoo too dense.I looked up at him with lingering fear, and collided with his gaze in the air.

There is a smile in his eyes, standing in the soft autumn sun, the morning breeze blows his hair away, revealing his white and smooth forehead.

It's really hard to believe that something bad ever had to do with him.

He said softly, "Let's go."

We were walking along the community park, during which time I still felt that this was a mess, so I asked, "What are you doing with this tattoo?"

He squinted his eyes and said, "Accompany my roommate to get lip piercing done. I got a tattoo when I was bored. The tattoo didn't look good, and it was inconvenient on many occasions, so I wore a bracelet."

I clicked my tongue, Tang Shuhe seemed in a good mood, and said slowly: "So you said you were sleepy this morning because you didn't sleep last night, okay?"

"..." I sighed, turned my head and said, "I'm afraid you...have been bullied."

He smiled: "No."

He asked, "Why did you suddenly think about the bracelet?"

"I chatted with Liu Hongbo yesterday... why are you lying to me? Tattoos are not a big deal. You can just have a tattoo on your arm. I'm not the head of your department."

"It's not good-looking," he said, "The lines are too dense, it would look better if they were sparser, and I regret it after finishing the tattoo."

The morning sky slowly warmed up, the cloudy sky gradually brightened, and the shadows of the sun were long.We were speechless for a while, Tang Shuhe's Xiaoji...Xiao Ke is not very familiar with the road conditions, a little timid, we stop and go, sometimes let Lu Bowen play with Xiao Keke for a while, there are stray cats in the community in twos and threes, and occasionally a puppy Xiao Ke looked at them ignorantly and vigilantly, and quietly rubbed against Tang Shuhe's trousers. The two excrement scavengers each carried a bag to play with the dog. The picture was not particularly beautiful, but both of them were in a good mood.Tang Shuhe said leisurely: "The tattoo artist is very poor, but he is very good at talking. He said that people get tattoos as 'takepainstoremember', so I got it," he laughed, "It's quite expensive."

"It's the second most expensive," I said, "Does it hurt?"

He knelt down to pet the dog and said, "It doesn't hurt."

"It must hurt," I said.

He said, "It doesn't hurt. Don't worry about it."

Xiao Ke and Lu Bowen crowded him to make a fuss, he lowered his head and rubbed his forehead against their faces.I stared at his jet-black hair with fascination, stretched out my hand out of nowhere, and rubbed his hair.He raised his head with his arms around the dog, looked at me in surprise, and then laughed, the morning glow reflected on his face, and the morning sun shattered in his amber eyes.

You are so ingrained in my heart.

It's hard to describe in words the feeling that scene brought to me. His soft black hair rubbed against my hand. I accidentally scratched his hair, and the wind smoothed it out again.We looked at each other for a long time, Tang Shuhe stood up silently, and hugged me as a matter of course.The puppy looked at us blankly, I thought it was too early, and the reason and the world had not fully awakened, so I hugged him back.

We stuck together silently for a long time, without taking the next step or separating, Xiao Ke kept rubbing his head against Tang Shuhe's leg, and he let go suddenly.

I stood there with my arms empty, staring at him blankly, I was dazed by the hug, I didn't close the line of reason for a moment, I asked myself weakly and arrogantly, why not?

why not?

I took his hand.The moment his palms touched, he froze for a moment, didn't look at me, lowered his head and held the leash, his shoulders trembled slightly, but his fingers clasped my five fingers without hesitation, clasped them firmly, entangled Paste together.

I looked into the distance and let out a long sigh.

We have traveled many places holding hands.This was the first time we held hands after eight years. I only remember that his hands were very cold. It was not until the sun was bright that I warmed his hands a little bit.

After I went back that day, I handed in the final draft of the last book, and sent the first draft of the script to Wen Ruixiu, and Wen Ruixiu directly sent a voice: "I am in the theater, you can come here directly with the paper draft, and let the actors try it out." Have a play."

"Leaving Beijing" is coming to an end, and the last few scenes are usually a familiar row. When I went, everyone was still singing. Wen Ruixiu edited a few paper drafts, stopped and relaxed the vocal cords The male protagonist: "Tian'er. Try this paragraph."

"A play test," he came over and nodded at me, "Teacher Lu."

I smiled at him.Wen Ruixiu glanced at the script and said, "Xiao Shui, come here."

The person named Xiao Shui shouted from a distance: "Director Wen is here." I looked up and found that it was the man who bought me hot milk at the bar. I remembered that his name was Xie Shui.

Xie Shui swayed slowly, and from afar, he called with a playful smile, "Yo, Teacher Lu!"

Me: "...Hi."

His name is Wen Ruixiu: "Director Wen, do I have to try Brother Tian'er's drama too?"

"Yes," Wen Ruixiu said, "I'll give you two and ten minutes to recite the words—let me tell you about the play first."

The male protagonist named Meng Tian and Xie Shui tried a monologue by the male protagonist.

"The doctor said that I had phobia, phobia, a kind of mental illness with fear as the main manifestation. What I said to him was not the same thing at all. I said I love Xiaoman... At that time, I crossed the yellow cordon , walking through the squeezed car, hugging her head in the passenger seat, while I hugged her, the police and the forensic doctor were using a small shovel to separate her body glued to the car-but her face was still intact Yes, beautiful, white as a Greek stone statue, when I went to kiss her the police clamped my arms, lifted my legs, and carried me away like a pig howling because it is dying. But If you've seen her face, if you've smelled that smell you'll know, tears, trembling, insomnia and incontinence is the highest way I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her dead body that was buried in the garden last winter , I love her memories and desires that germinated and blossomed this year, I love her laughter of bones touching bones, I love her with tears and tears in the fear of a handful of dust."

Wen Ruixiu sat under the stage with his shoulders folded, his eyes were bright, but he didn't say anything, Meng Tian hurried to the row after trying the play, Xie Shui jumped off the stage, sat down next to me, and passed me Rui Xiu said, "Guard, think about me."

Wen Ruixiu glanced at him with a smile, and made a nasal sound. Xie Shui didn't say anything else, leaned back on his seat, and said in a low voice with the unique voice of a drama actor, "Mr. Lu, I knew you were like this In terms of style, I didn't dare to hook up with you back then, so don't worry."

"...What kind." I said.

"If you die, you will love this kind of thing. I really can't afford it."

"Damn," I was angry and wanted to laugh, "Is it okay to read the author and the work separately? I'm going to write a lunatic tomorrow, so the city mental health center has to take me in for treatment?"

"That's not true." He also smiled, stood up and said, "It's almost my time, let's go."

After he left, Wen Ruixiu said softly, "How is it?"

I said, "I'm not a professional in acting, you have the final say." I frowned, "It's Xie Shui, why..."

"Tired and crooked, isn't it?" Wen Ruixiu smiled, "He's just like that. He even hooked up with me. He... wants a male lead, even B."

I also didn't expect that when I lived to be almost thirty, I would touch the edge of the unspoken rules, didn't speak, and smiled.Wen Ruixiu said: "Then tonight's "Leaving Beijing" will you still watch it? I will leave you a ticket."

I thought for a while and said, "I'll come."

Wen Ruixiu nodded.

I was selfish, but Wen Ruixiu couldn't see it, so I had no choice but to say, "Well... leave me two first."

Wen Ruixiu froze for a moment, then laughed: "Hey."

I want to see Tang Shuhe, I can't fool anyone.

I sat there and watched the town row all afternoon.At six o'clock in the afternoon, Tang Shuhe sent me a message like clocking in: "It's off work."

"Well," I replied, "do you have any plans for the evening?"

"No," he replied quickly, "what?"

"Want to watch a play?"

"Okay," he said.

I said, "I'll pick you up."

Well, I’m sorry Wen Ruixiu, I was so distracted watching the "Leaving Beijing", I sat there in the dark, thinking for a while that when I went to X University to pick up Tang Shuhe, there were four gates in X University, the area And it’s so big, the first time I went there to pick up people, I couldn’t tell the difference between east, west, north and south. I said I was at the east gate, but I was actually at the south gate. Tang Shuhe was also anxious on the phone, saying that I had arrived at the east gate. When I saw your car, I got out of the car to look for him. As a result, the two almost separated, and when they finally met, they almost passed each other. I recognized his back and stopped him from behind. He slammed As soon as I turned around, the anxiety in my eyes disappeared instantly, and he and I laughed together a step away.

After a while, I thought Tang Shuhe was really happy today, sitting in the co-pilot, so cute, he was like a child when he was happy, if he hadn’t carried a briefcase today, I really want to ask him What have you learned.

... Tang Shuhe, on the other hand, looked at it very seriously.Slightly frowning, when shaking the burden on the stage, he laughed twice.

Later, when Wen Ruixiu took the stage to call the curtain, he said in surprise: "This is not..."

"It's him." I said, "We'll go play with him backstage later."

Wen Ruixiu was eager to invite us to dinner. Xie Shui probably saw Tang Shuhe, with a meaningful expression that seemed to be a smile but not a smile, and then booed Yangzi. I used the excuse of stomach trouble and went home with Tang Shuhe.On the way, he still struggled to recall: "Did I meet the actor who talked to me today..."

I suppressed a smile: "Where is it? It's fine to watch dramas behind my back, why are you still dating idols privately?"

"What do you love?" He explained to me confusedly and anxiously, "I'm not, I just heard his voice familiar, but I can't recognize him because of the heavy makeup..."

I laughed out loud: "Isn't it familiar? It was the one at the bar that day." I slapped the steering wheel, imitating Tang Shuhe's appearance at the time, "'Sorry, he has an appointment.' Tang Shuhe, why are you so thick-skinned? , who asked you out."

"Didn't you ask me out?" He muttered softly.

Me: "...what's for dinner tonight?"

He then changed the subject: "Go to my house, you haven't been to my house yet, I'll make you something to eat."

The temptation was too great, so I couldn't bear it all at once, and said, "...OK."

I went to the garage to park the car, and when I was walking towards the building of Tang Shuhe’s house, he leaned over and took my hand as if nothing had happened. It's not far from the end, you're not far from throwing up your hands in bewilderment.

"Why are your hands so cold?" he said.

"...yours isn't hot either." I said.

"That's good," he said, stuffing my hand with his into his coat pocket.

It was a windy autumn night, and the trees beside the road and the tall grass that had not yet withered made rustling noises. While holding my hand, he said slowly, "Oh, so it was that actor."

I said, "Oh my god, it's not over yet."

He said faintly: "Every time he comes on stage, you look up at him."

I said, "You're looking at him too!"

He pursed his lips.

Why should I explain this to him, why am I so happy to explain this to him.I smiled and said, "Wen Ruixiu and I are picking the male lead in the next play."

"Then you...do you have to stay with him often in the future?" Tang Shuhe clenched his hands in his pockets and muttered secretly.

"Don't worry, ah," I said happily, "People are scared away by my tough script."

He said, "What did you write..."

I said: "What? This is a bit long to say, let's go back to the house... What's wrong with you?"

He froze there.I held his hand, and for a split second it seemed to me that he was going to be thrown into hell without moving.

I followed his gaze, and all the softness was instantly shattered.

Standing at the door of the unit is a woman.

Although I have only seen her once in the past eight years, I will never admit my mistake. At that time, I hugged Tang Shuhe who had fainted, and she timidly hid behind her husband, taking Tang Shuhe's medical insurance card and The ID slipped into my pocket.

The author has something to say:

The ending monologue of Lu Huay's script used a part of TS Eliot's "The Waste Land".The author himself is really lacking in talent and knowledge, and cannot write a good script monologue.

His mother is here, the tragedy will not repeat itself.