Pavlov and the White Moonlight

Tang Shuhe was still sleeping, wrapped in a small quilt and curled up into a ball, inexplicably like a small animal that just broke out of its shell.I didn't draw the curtains last night, and when I woke up, the sun was falling on my eyes. I sat up and took a while, and looked back. Qiuyang's lemonade was shining on Tang Shuhe's face lightly.I looked at him, stretched out my hand unconsciously, wanted to touch his slender eyelashes like butterfly wings, but retracted when I was about to touch them.I thought for a while, this seems to be the life I imagined many years ago - to have my own den, Tang Shuhe, and preferably a puppy, when I wake up in the morning, the sun and him are there.He doesn't have to go to work, and it's better to stay in bed all day, as long as I kiss him, I can always go forward regardless of my own safety.

I don't know if it was because he felt someone watching him in his sleep, but he also woke up soon.When he opened his eyes, he collided with my eyes looking at him. I don't know what my eyes said to him. He froze for a moment, looked around in a trance, and then closed his eyes , softly called my name: "Lu Huai."

I cleared my throat: "Are you awake? How much did you drink last night? Are you still feeling bad?"

He closed his eyes and shook his head: "I'm fine."

I said to myself that you’re fine and I’m fine. I don’t know why. In the past, stomach pains would go away after taking two pills, drinking some warm water, and going to sleep. It’s been two or three days. .I propped my elbows on my knees and said, "I'll take you home after eating breakfast here." I really didn't want to get up and cook, so I ordered takeaway with my mobile phone, "Can I have porridge?"

"What's wrong with you?" He sat up and looked at my face, frowning and said, "You look bad."

"Can I look good? You acted like heaven and earth last night," I said, "It's okay. I don't have a fixed working time. I just need to catch up on sleep during the day."

"I," he was a little embarrassed, "did I...do anything yesterday?"

"Nothing, just crying and fussing," I said, "Is millet porridge okay?"

He froze for a moment, then suddenly looked at me steadily: "Do you have a stomachache?"

It was my turn to be embarrassed: "...then what, a little bit."

He was anxious: "Is it serious? When did it start to hurt?" Then he stood up and took his clothes, "I'll accompany you to the hospital."

I said: "It's okay, oh, it's okay," I pulled him back, "I have medicine at home, I will be fine after taking something to eat, I will go to the hospital at this time, I have to do a gastroscopy, don't worry about it .”

He frowned, looking at me a little bewildered.I pressed my hands down to signal him: "Little scene, it's okay, just listen to me."

He looked at me for a long time and said, "Let me boil some hot water for you."

He turned and went to the kitchen, fumbled to boil the water, I heard him make a rustling sound, and lay down on the sofa.After a while, he carefully brought the cup over and said softly, "Get up and drink some hot water."

I sighed, patted my side, and said, "You sit too."

While drinking hot water, I said: "I have to tell you, the person who was at my house the day before yesterday was a friend of mine named Wen Ruixiu, who was engaged in drama. I was at home alone the day before yesterday, and I just met that person last night. Met. I said that if you are single, you are single, this will not deceive you."

Tang Shuhe's eyes flickered and he nodded.

Lu Bowen woke up a long time ago, playing with the toys I bought for him by himself, looking at us from time to time.I have accumulated a lot of questions from last night to now, and finally rolled in my throat, without asking a word, the two of them looked at each other, somewhat embarrassed, I waited, and said: "...how about you help me Feed the dog."

He nodded, stood up and said, "Where is the medicine? I'll find it for you together."

I said, "The box next to the dog food hasn't been cleaned for several days. When you take it out, remove the dog hair first."

he:"……"

After the porridge arrived, I didn’t take a few sips, and I already felt something was wrong—the more I drank it, the more it hurt, and I was very nauseous. Seeing my cold sweat, Tang Shuhe immediately said no, I had to go to the hospital, and I didn’t have the energy to say anything He ran downstairs with my back on his back. The back of his white and greasy neck was sweating profusely. I thought it was the cold sweat on my forehead, but later I found it was his. I lay on his back and felt the sweat on his shoulder. The thin layer of muscles on the top was trembling violently, so he said: "Put me down, just hold me."

He didn't speak, and turned me upside down, running in the wind.

When I arrived at the hospital, he put me on the bench in the lobby, ran around to go through procedures and pay fees, suspected peptic ulcer bleeding after a gastroscopy, went for pathology, ran for a while, and finally had to be hospitalized.I was lying on the hospital bed in the inpatient department, full of mixed tastes. After eight years, the two of us stayed in the hospital alone, and we tasted all kinds of tastes in turn.I watched his shadow flicker on the small vertical window glass in the ward for a while. Half the morning passed, and he finally pushed the door open. I was infusion after taking the medicine, and the pain has been relieved a lot. Yes, it's just disgusting and tiring.I saw him come in and sit next to me.

I opened my eyelids and looked at him. His face was pale, and his hair was tied to his temples in strands of sweat. The two of us were lying down and sitting together, like two patients who depended on each other.He tucked the corner of the quilt for me, and said softly: "The initial diagnosis is stomach bleeding caused by ulcers. You will be hospitalized for a few days. I'll go get you some clothes and daily necessities later, okay?"

I said, "I'm sorry to trouble you."

He paused and said, "You don't need to say this to me."

I saw that his shoulders were still trembling slightly, I felt a little embarrassed, touched his nose, and said, "Then what, I'm quite heavy, right?"

"What?" He was still in a daze, his whole body was a little blunt, and he said after a while, "No."

I said: "...what's the matter with you?"

He hooked the corner of his lips hastily and said, "It's okay."

I smiled: "Aren't you scared? Actually, it's nothing, I'm used to it - don't you go to work?"

He said: "I took a whole morning off, and I don't have my class in the morning." He walked over, closed the curtains, and said softly, "Sleep for a while? Wake up and eat something."

He didn't leave all morning. He bought some food for lunch and the two of them ate. He left when Wen Ruixiu came in the afternoon. I had nothing to do. Wen Ruixiu came and played all afternoon in the escort chair. On the phone, I saw Tang Shuhe coming to take over with big bags and small bags. In front of Wen Ruixiu, I was so embarrassed that my face was smoking. Wen Ruixiu was squinting at me while laughing, and I also covered my forehead and smiled: "My God... …It’s a stomach ulcer, you’re not going to…”

Tang Shuhe nodded to Wen Ruixiu, and said to me, "I brought everything I could. I made egg custard and spinach soup. Don't eat meat these days."

...I was speechless, only nodded.

When Wen Ruixiu saw Tang Shuhe coming, he told Tang Shuhe a few words about the script, and then he slipped away, looking at his slender back with his neck leaning forward, and suddenly remembered something, and said to Tang Shuhe : "This is the drama friend I was talking about."

Tang Shuhe nodded thoughtfully. I don't know why I read the emotion of "relieved" from his face, and I wanted to laugh a little.He put the key on the table, sighed, and said: "Why do you still have a coffee machine at home, don't drink coffee if you have a bad stomach."

I said I try my best.Tang Shuhe shook his head, opened the thermos, and said, "Let's have dinner first."

There were still a few patients in the ward, and it was time for dinner, and the escorts of the family also brought meals, and the room was filled with all kinds of warm and soft aromas of food, and the small TV in that ward was somehow blocked. Who tuned the station, and now it is broadcasting cross talk skits, the two of us drank the custard stewed by Tang Shuhe, listened to each other, and laughed occasionally.Since the reunion, it was rare for me to eat head-to-head in such a peaceful and gentle way. There was something soft and indescribable flowing in the air, and I always enjoyed it. Tang Shuhe was probably the same, his eyes were very relaxed.Outside the inpatient department, there are lawn corridors and fitness equipment for patients to take a walk and rest. After eating, Tang Shuhe suggested to go for a walk outside. Tang Shuhe and I walked slowly at a short distance. Swinging, blowing people's forehead hair and clothes corners, I said: "You know I had a gastroscopy this morning, and I drank that barium meal—"

He hummed softly and said, "What?"

I said, "It's like drinking my grandma's bee flower conditioner."

He smiled: "You, have you ever drank?"

I said, "No, I just simulate it with you. I don't want to have a gastroscopy in my next life."

He smiled and shook his head, planning with me with great interest: "The doctor said that you can eat a little lean meat, and tomorrow you can eat lean meat porridge, and stew a tofu soup. I also bought peaches..."

"Hey, you don't need to be so troublesome, just buy and eat in the cafeteria." I couldn't bear it, but I still interrupted him, "Well...you can go back in a while, the whole day will be spent in the hospital, it will waste your time too much."

Tang Shuhe was stunned for a moment, and his tone became stiff: "It's okay, don't delay. I'll stay here with you for a few nights."

I sighed and said, "I'm really fine. I'm just taking medicine and infusions now. It's not a serious illness, and it doesn't affect my actions. There's no need to have someone around me."

"But everyone else has someone to accompany them."

"The others are others. The one that was sent in with me yesterday also vomited blood directly. How can it be compared with others."

"Then what if you suddenly feel unwell in the middle of the night?"

"There's a nurse bell."

"Lu Huai," he said suddenly, "how long have you been in pain?"

I was stunned for a moment: "Not long ago, the day before yesterday was a little..."

"How long have you been in pain," he said.

I am silent.

He said: "You have been in pain for so long, and no one knows it. Why...don't you find someone to take care of you."

"Have you been hospitalized by yourself before?"

"Stomach ulcers are very easy to cause cancer, do you know that?"

"I..." He choked for a moment and said, "You don't need to have a psychological burden, I just, I just want you to get better soon, I haven't thought about anything else..."

His tone was almost pleading: "Can't you treat me as an ordinary friend?"

The sun sank a little bit.Tang Shuhe's pale face also darkened little by little. When he said those words, I kept looking at him, and suddenly reached out and grabbed his wrist.

He trembled violently unexpectedly, and subconsciously shrank back, a very resistive movement.

He didn't react until he finished this movement, his hands froze there, neither advancing nor retreating, he looked at me in amazement: "You..."

"If I'm sick, it's enough to be cured. I'm fine, and I've never been afraid." I didn't reach out to touch him again, looking at his frightened eyes in the twilight, I couldn't tell whether it was more sad or more disturbed, I said , "Tang Shuhe, you also treat me as an ordinary friend, can you tell me what's wrong with you?"

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