Dear Chen Jiu

When it was almost dawn, I went to the kitchen to boil water, and heard a 'bang' from the room, I ran into the room, Chen Jiu was sitting alone on the cold concrete floor, one hand clenched into a fist and hit the ground, A letter was clutched tightly in the other hand.

His punch was so powerful that the skin on his knuckles was broken and blood was oozing out, and the alarm clock on the table was also shaken off.

It’s very cold in the room, it’s just that there’s a lack of a heater, so I don’t know how to describe how I feel in my heart. Grandma’s death, Lao Xiao, Lu Yuan and I are very sad, but we all know our sadness It's not as good as one percent of Chen Jiu's.

Lao Xiao sent me a text message last night, saying that he could find him whenever he needed anything, but we all knew that no one else could do anything, and no one but himself could help him overcome the hurdle in Chen Jiu's heart.

I took off my coat and put it on him, and went to another room to find a medicine box. I remember that the first time Lao Xiao was hit by a yellow hair, it was Chen Jiu who bandaged his head with gauze.

When I found the medicine box, I heard the sound of water splashing in the yard. Through the window glass, I saw Chen Jiu washing his face with cold water and washing the blood off his hands.

I couldn't figure out his attitude, so I just walked out with the medicine box in hand, "Chen Jiu, are you hungry? Do you want to eat something?"

His face was covered with water, he closed his eyes and shook his head, his voice was hoarse when he spoke, "Go back to Jiangzhou."

That's right, my school hasn't had a holiday yet, and staying here all the time can only be a matter of thinking about others and exacerbating the pain.

It's good to change the environment, at least I thought so at the time.

If I had known why he was going back to Jiangzhou at this time, I should have tried my best to stop him that day.

We tidied up briefly, and I saw Chen Jiu carefully folded the letter and stuffed it into his schoolbag. It should have been written to him by his grandma. Aunt Wu said that grandma's health began to deteriorate this year, so she should have left early. After writing this letter, he might explain some trivial matters to his grandson, which is why Chen Jiu felt broken when he saw that letter.

Although he has tried his best to restrain himself, in fact, when people are sad, crying is very helpful to relieve emotions. I really want to tell Chen Jiu that you don't have to be strong, you can cry, you have done a good job, grandma's departure It's not what anyone expected or anything, and you're not wrong.

But I just stayed with him and didn't say anything.

We took a taxi back to Jiangzhou, and we didn't have the energy to go to the bus station to queue up to buy tickets. We were exhausted physically and mentally after the day and one night yesterday.

After the car arrived downstairs, I followed Chen Jiu upstairs, and I followed his footsteps upstairs, at the same pace, without making any unnecessary noises.

But things seemed to start to go in a weird direction. Chen Jiu went back to the house to collect a few changes of clothes and then went to the bathroom to take a shower. He suddenly figured out what point it was, and I quickly ordered some takeaway on the phone. After a while, when he comes out of the shower, he just eats something to cushion his stomach before going to bed, and take a good rest.

Yesterday, I went through the formalities at the hospital, looking for funeral services, contacting car rental and cremation matters. Before I could digest this matter, Chen Jiu had to deal with grandma’s funeral properly as an adult. If this goes on, I'm really worried that his body will be overwhelmed.

When the takeaway arrived, Chen Jiu just came out of the bathroom, and he was still a little wet.

"Eat something before going to sleep."

I say.

But this time I obviously misunderstood what he meant. Chen Jiu changed into a set of clothes to wear when going out. Seeing this... is he actually going out?

"No, I'm going out."

"Where are you going?" I was a little nervous.

He looked at me thoughtfully, and I began to wonder if I was overreacting?Maybe they just want to go to school, or do some other things.

"I...I think you should take a break now."

"no need."

He put on his coat and went out.

I'm sitting in the living room alone, no matter how I think about it, something is wrong, where else can he go now, go to school?work?He was in a hurry to go back to Jiangzhou and was in a hurry to go out. There must be something. I turned on my phone and flipped through it distractedly. The weather forecast said that there would be heavy rain today.

Hey, Chen Jiugang didn't bring an umbrella when he went out. I found a suitable reason for myself, went to the bathroom to wash my face hastily, changed my coat, took an umbrella and went out.

As soon as I walked to the bus stop, I saw Chen Jiu walking on the sidewalk opposite. This road is really in the direction of the school.

I crossed the road, followed Chen Jiu after a distance, and followed him to Jiang Yi.

The sky was gloomy, the scenery in front of me seemed to be covered with a layer of curtain, and the drizzle fell silently all over the sky.

I followed Chen Jiu to the school, and when he came to a certain building, he stopped suddenly.

I followed his line of sight and saw a gentle and generous woman coming out of the building holding the hand of a little boy. She lowered her head and carefully helped the little boy organize his schoolbag, and then took out a children's bag from the satchel. The poncho is worn by the little boy.

This woman who had met once before and whose tone was always indifferent finally showed a gentle side on her face.

So Chen Jiu came all the way to see her?

After the woman helped the little boy beside him put on his little rain boots, she took out an umbrella and led him into the rain. I hurriedly hid behind the big tree beside me, thinking that if she saw Chen Jiu It should be to stop and comfort him, no matter how bad it is, it is my mother, and my mother's comfort must be more useful than an outsider like me.

In the small open space in front of the teaching building, there was only an eye-catching Chen Jiu. She was walking in the direction of Chen Jiu. Just when I thought she was going to stop and say something, the woman took the little boy's hand from Chen Jiu's body. He walked away without seeing anything.

The rain started to get bigger at that moment, from raindrops to raindrops, falling heavily one by one.

The winter rain is icy cold, and it is cold from the inside out. I wear a thick down jacket and feel that my knees are so cold.

Chen Jiu still stood there motionless, like a sculpture on the square.

"Mom, why is that brother standing there in the rain? Should we lend him an umbrella?"

The little boy's eyebrows and eyes are very good-looking, a bit reminiscent of Chen Jiu when he was a child.

"Mom gave it to him, baby is going to rain, he will have his own umbrella."

From the time she helped her younger son put on the rain gear carefully to passing Chen Jiu, it took only one minute.

It turns out that people are really different, and they are all my own children. I don't understand what Chen Jiu did wrong. If I still had a little fantasy about this woman when I eavesdropped on their conversation in the cafe last time, I wonder if she has some unspeakable difficulties, so now I'm sure she simply abandoned Chen Jiu, no matter what conflicts she has with Chen Jiu's father, what is wrong with Chen Jiu?

I walked into the rain to help Chen Jiu hold an umbrella. When he saw that the rain above his head was blocked, he looked back almost immediately. It was the first time I saw such a fragile Chen Jiu. His eyes were red and his long eyelashes were wet. Trembling slightly, as if all the courage had been taken away.

Did he think at that moment that a miracle would happen, that woman would come back and hold an umbrella for him?

I said, Chen Jiu, are you hungry, I will take you home.

The rain was very fast and the wind was strong that day. When I tilted the umbrella towards Chen Jiu without anyone noticing, he pushed the umbrella back.

When I wanted to argue with him again, he said in a hoarse voice, "Hold on."

I knew that the umbrella at that moment was useless to him. When the rain poured into my heart, the biting cold couldn't be resisted no matter what.

By the time we got home we were drenched from head to toe.

I went back to my room and changed my clothes, and I didn't see Chen Jiu when I came out again. I should have gone back to my room to rest, that's fine.

The next day, when I went to ask Chen Jiu to have breakfast, I found something was wrong. After knocking for a long time, there was no movement in the room. I turned the doorknob, and the door was locked from the inside.

"Chen Jiu?" I patted the door hard, and when I didn't respond and was about to kick the door, the door opened from the inside. Chen Jiu was only wearing a low-neck sweater, his face was a little red, and his whole body was full of pressure. Very low, full of wine smell.

"Eat breakfast."

Chen Jiu ignored me without speaking, turned around and was about to close the door, I immediately grabbed the edge of the door, "Hey, wait a minute."

I handed him the breakfast in my hand, and his hands didn't feel warm at all, "Eat!"

He frowned.

"Take it."

Chen Jiu, whose eyes were blurred and became more and more silent, was in a state of drunkenness, and it was easy to fool him if he was bolder at this time.

He followed my gaze to look at the breakfast in his hand.

"Hey, have some breakfast."

I forced it into his hand.

"boom-"

The door closed in front of me.

……

On the third day of the same scene, the drunk Chen Jiu finally got impatient, and said the first sentence to me in a few days, "Not going to school?"

"You...you didn't go to school either?" I said confidently.

He can't drink like this anymore, I don't know where the courage came from, knowing that he is in a bad mood now, I forcefully pushed the door open while he was unprepared, and the room was filled with the smell of tobacco and alcohol.

I turned on the light in the room, and the room was not messy, it was even quite clean. The breakfast I delivered a few days ago was neatly stacked on the bedside table, and empty wine bottles were piled up beside the bed.

"Chen Jiu, you can't do this, you can't drink anymore."

The drunk Chen Jiu was probably dissatisfied with my breaking into his room without permission, and said the second sentence to me in the past few days, "You care about me?"

What he said really made me feel uncomfortable, yes, what position do I have to control him, I was stunned for a while.

He glanced at me, took the wine bottle aside, "Go to school."

I don't know that he hasn't had a good rest for a few days, and the breakfast I brought him has barely moved, how can his stomach bear it like this.

I went to snatch the wine in his hand, "I have to take care of you, I don't care who will take care of it? Chen Jiu, do you still think that we are not even friends?"

Chen Jiu grabbed my hand with great strength, and smiled faintly, "Friend?"

I bit the bullet, nodded and said, "Friend."

Chen Jiu raised his eyebrows, "But," he said slowly, "you like me."

It turned out that he always knew that the friend I mentioned was just a cover, and he never believed this cover from the beginning to the end.

I simply stepped forward to get close to him, directly pulled his sweater, pulled him to block his lips, yes, I just like you, are you satisfied?I'm so cheap that I have to catch up with you.

But when he pressed his cool lips, the feeling of distress overwhelmed all the complicated emotions.

He didn't refuse the kiss, but opened his lips as if to indulge my presumptuousness. In the end, he palmed the back of my head with one hand and controlled my hand with the other. We kissed a very inexplicable but seemingly logical kiss .

With the sound of rain outside the house, I feel that we are in a very small cocoon, and there are only two of us left in this world.

I hugged his neck tightly with my other hand and threw myself into the kiss indulgently.

But this kiss gradually got out of control. In the end, it was not like a kiss but more like a game. No one wanted to lose. We tugged and fell on the bed. My lower body had already reacted, and the tent was set up high.

Chen Jiu pressed me under him, and our lips and tongues were separated until we were almost out of breath. I looked at him who was in the upper position panting, and I felt that he also reacted. Yan Xu was right. , boys of this age are really easy to be sexually aroused.

Chen Jiu pressed my waist and said in a hoarse voice, "Get out."