I heard you still love her

With cold lips, with the taste of tears, Yan Zhilan looked at Xiao Ruoyan, her eyes were full of tension and worry.

Did she get a call from Dad?Still heard some bad news, she...

Xiao Ruoyan raised her hand to cover her eyes, her voice choked up: "Xiaoyan, close your eyes."

She loves her.

In addition to love, there are a lot of guilt, sadness and emotion.

She used to think that love burned all of her, but unexpectedly, Xiaoyan gave much more than her.

Xiao Ruoyan understood that in this life, no one loved her like Xiaoyan.

She couldn't owe her anything more.

Kiss is talking.

There is no taste of love.

Full of pity, full of love, all passed on under that gentle touch.

Yan Zhilan was a little emotional, her face was slightly pink, she clasped Xiao Ruoyan's neck with her hands, and gently rubbed her hair.

This is what the two of them used to do when they were teenagers.

Whenever I am tired, uncomfortable, in pain, struggling, and uncertain about the future.

That's how they comfort each other.

Xiao Ruoyan's heart ached to bleed, she hated herself, why didn't she come back sooner, why...

Yan Zhilan was too gentle.

She gently held Xiao Ruoyan's cheek with her hand, and in the end, feeling that her emotions had stabilized, she kissed her tears dry: "Ayan, don't cry, don't cry."

Xiaoyan's hand lightly patted Xiao Ruoyan's back, apparently telling her not to cry, but her eyes were red.

She is such a person.

Back then, when she was bullied and tortured repeatedly at school, those people didn't see her reaction.

Being suppressed again and again by Yan Feng, her body and spirit were on the verge of collapse, but she still did not waver.

The world was cruel and cruel to her, but Yan Zhilan gritted her teeth and endured it.

But she couldn't see her girl cry.

Yan Zhilan gently wiped Xiao Ruoyan's tears with her hand, and she stared at her with watery eyes: "Ayan, can you tell me what's wrong? Is it a stomachache?"

Xiao Ruoyan bit her lip, she looked into Yan Zhilan's eyes: "Xiaoyan, did you go to see me secretly? How did you know that my stomach hurts?"

If it was before, she could still take it as Xiaoyan's sixth sense. It was a coincidence that she knew what was wrong with her body.

But now, I heard Xiaoyan's sea-like affection for her.

Xiao Ruoyan understood that there are so many coincidences in this world. The so-called going around, the so-called fate, and the so-called gift of marriage are just the evolution and excuses of people's hopes.

Isn't it the hard work of the people in the bureau again and again?The result of never giving up again and again.

Looking at Xiao Ruoyan's eyes, Yan Zhilan knew that her tears were related to her, and her heart throbbed. She approached Xiao Ruoyan's arms and murmured: "You know about me, right?" The voice is very soft: "I don't tell you, not because I want to hide it from you, but because I am afraid that you will be so sad."

Xiao Ruoyan's nose was sore, and tears flowed down again. Yan Zhilan raised her head, stood on tiptoe, and gently kissed her tears dry: "You always cry like this and break my heart, how can I tell you?"

Xiao Ruoyan wiped her face indiscriminately, and she took Xiaoyan's hand and sat on the bed, "Go ahead."

Yan Zhilan smiled, she looked at Xiao Ruoyan sobbing, her Ayan has always been a stunning beauty, with long hair and shawl, skin as clear as white jade, with a few sad tears rolling down her eyes, red eyes, nose tip It's also red, and that appearance really makes people can't help caring and caring.

"Are you sure you want to say it here?"

Yan Zhilan raised her eyebrows, and looked at Xiao Ruoyan with a half-smile, Xiao Ruoyan was still immersed in sadness, "Where are you going then?"

Does Xiaoyan want to go outside?A coffee shop or something?But it was a little late, and there was a little rain, she was afraid that Xiaoyan would catch a cold.

She was too thin, and her physical condition was not good. Xiao Ruoyan felt that when she came back, her first priority was not to make money, but to her body.

Yan Zhilan smiled, bent one leg, pinched Xiao Ruoyan's chin with one hand, and kissed those thin lips under her surprised gaze.

Gently soothing, delicate tenderness, bit by bit through the temperature of the lips.

Xiao Ruoyan's cheeks began to turn red, and finally, other emotions in her heart broke through the layer of sadness, she put her arms around Xiaoyan's waist, turned over, and pressed her on the bed, "You, you...what are you doing? "

They want to talk about serious questions, why should they interrupt?

Yan Zhilan looked at her with a smile, and hooked Xiao Ruoyan's neck with one hand: "Isn't it a long-planned plan for you to chat with me here?"

Xiao Ruoyan: ...

She really convinced this little woman.

She can always use unconventional methods to toss her sorrow and pain into a mess, and she can't stir up any more waves.

Finally, he dragged Xiaoyan's hand and sat on the sofa in the living room.

Yan Zhilan sat there obediently, surrounded by Xiao Ruoyan with quilts, and stuffed another cup of hot milk in her hand.

The warmth of being cared for like this feels good, Yan Zhilan tucked into the quilt, showing a child's expression of satisfaction and enjoyment.

Xiaoyan looked at her and smiled: "Can I not drink?"

Xiao Ruoyan raised her hand, simply tied up her hair, and said coldly, "I can't."

Yan Zhilan looked at her and smiled, lowered her head and said in a low voice: "Ayan, you are really beautiful, cold and handsome now."

Xiao Ruoyan's body stiffened for a moment, her cheeks and ears felt a little hot, she took a deep breath, restrained: "Stop flattering, tell me first, how much food have you eaten in total these days?"

She has observed it carefully.

In high school, although Xiaoyan was not the type of foodie that Lan Lan could eat, sometimes, when they studied late at night, she would be drool by the skewers and snacks on the street, begging for food. Xiao Ruoyan wanted to take a bite.

But now?

Xiao Ruoyan was thinking heavily, could it also be anorexia caused by some stress disorder?

Yan Zhilan held the cup, took a sip, and whispered, "So you've been secretly observing me, so why did you pretend to be so indifferent when you came back?"

Xiao Ruoyan: ...

Xiaoyan tilted her head, and snickered: "Did Lan Lan mention Su Zhe's matter at the wedding last time, and you added something about the annual drama in your mind?"

Xiao Ruoyan: ...

She has grown up.

Xiaoyan stared into her eyes: "Hmph, I don't want to say anymore, have you forgotten what I said?"

She said that her person and heart will always belong to Xiao Ruoyan alone.

Xiao Ruoyan had no choice, she walked over and hugged Yan Zhilan: "Okay, okay, it's my fault, it's my fault."

This teacher Yan!

It's her who is asking the question, please don't turn your back on the customer, okay?

Yan Zhilan's slender fingers tapped her forehead, "I know I've made a mistake and I have to make up for it." Her eyes fell on the last white sweater that Xiao Ruoyan took off.

Xiao Ruoyan: ……………

There was silence for a while.

Xiao Ruoyan picked up the knitted sweater and handed it to Yan Zhilan. Yan Zhilan took it in satisfaction, put it in her arms and sniffed it gently. Xiao tilted his head and squinted his cat eyes to see the two dog owners showing affection.

Its little head couldn't figure it out, it was clearly the pet and the one that should be taken care of.

Why did the owner always act like her after this woman came? Today, he even forgot to feed the cat food? ? ?

The orange light hit Xiao Ruoyan's body, she looked at Yan Zhilan who was holding the knitted sweater angrily and amusedly, but she couldn't bear to blame her.

Some embarrassment, more sad.

Xiaoyan's physical and mental injuries don't last a day or two, and she will give her all her patience.

Yan Zhilan stared quietly for a while, "Ayan, I really miss you these years."

In a word, Xiao Ruoyan's tears almost burst again.

Rubbing the teacup with her hand, Yan Zhilan said softly: "My father tore up the photos of you and me. I have nothing, so I can only think about you, thinking about you over and over again, reminiscing over and over again, But, Ah Yan, do you know?"

Xiao Ruoyan looked at her, tears welling in his eyes.

Yan Zhilan lowered her head, her body tensed into a ball: "Maybe it's because I've thought about it too many times. One day, I suddenly realized that you had become a blur in my mind. I was very anxious and tried hard to think about it. , but I can't remember what you look like."

Xiao Ruoyan stepped forward and hugged Yan Zhilan tightly.

During that most painful time, Yan Zhilan listened to "Who I Miss" most often.

--do you know

the feeling of missing someone

like drinking a glass of cold water

and then for a long, long time

tears one by one

Do you know the feeling of loneliness

Loneliness is because of missing someone

……

Yan Zhilan shed tears while listening, and later, she played the piano by herself, over and over again.

She is different from Xiao Ruoyan.

She left home.

If there were friends like Lanlan or Boss by her side, maybe her situation would be better, but she didn't.

What she had was the elder sister who was still swinging between her and her father at that time, the aggressive and strong father, Su Zhe's approaching again and again that disgusted her, and... Xiao Ruoyan's mottled note.

In the familiar embrace, Yan Zhilan relaxed a little, she let go of her strength, and leaned towards Xiao Ruoyan: "I'm terrified... But I think, it's okay, we will meet soon, you will wait in the old place I."

"But I will still be afraid, afraid that everything is my dream, and in the end it will be nothing but a bamboo basket to fetch water, and I still won't be able to see you."

"We said we should live well, but Ah Yan, I broke my promise."

……

Yan Zhilan shrunk into a small ball, one of her hands grabbed Xiao Ruoyan's clothes: "I'm just...so lonely, so scared..." "I know, I know."

Tears rolled down one by one, Xiao Ruoyan tightened his arms, "Stop talking, don't talk if you feel uncomfortable."

Yan Zhilan shook her head, she looked at Xiao Ruoyan's wet eyes: "I want to say." She raised a hand and touched Xiao Ruoyan's cheek: "I know, no matter what I become, become No matter how unbearable, my Ah Yan will never despise me."

Sad from the heart.

Xiao Ruoyan didn't know how to express his feelings.

She must have been desperate at the time.

Yan Zhilan was silent for a moment, she slowly lifted up her pajamas, Xiao Ruoyan's eyes widened suddenly.

On the edge of the thigh, there are some marks of cigarette butt burns... and beside those scars, there are mottled scars.

It is especially obvious on white jade-like skin.

Xiao Ruoyan caressed her hand tremblingly, and Yan Zhilan seemed a little afraid that she would reprimand her, so she hugged her waist with both hands: "These... I have used many scar removal products, but they don't work." She took With a coquettish tone, "You won't dislike it, will you?"

Dislike it...

Xiao Ruoyan's heart was about to break.

She lowered her head, bent over, and kissed him little by little with her lips.

Her kiss was so pious, when she kissed the burn mark, Yan Zhilan shivered from the heat.

"This is the trace of when those bastards in high school bullied you."

Yan Zhilan gave a soft "um", she felt the place where Xiao Ruoyan kissed was numb, comfortable and uncomfortable.

She wasn't the only one who was bullied at school at the time.

But others will not be as cold as her, no matter what you do, you will be as indifferent as a piece of wood.

The more indifferent he was, the more anger he aroused.

But after all, she is a student, so she is still afraid, afraid that her parents will find out the injuries on her body, so they will burn them on places that cannot be seen on her body.

Yan Zhilan curled up her legs, but was held down by Xiao Ruoyan, her fingers pointed to the little marks next to the burn: "You pierced this with a pen?"

Xiaoyan bit her lip and said nothing, Xiao Ruoyan glanced at her, lowered her head and wanted to kiss again, Yan Zhilan gasped, and said quickly, "It's not a pen, it's a screwdriver."

Xiao Ruoyan said coldly, "You're pretty good." She thought for a while and turned around, Yan Zhilan knew her temper and hugged him quickly: "Where are you going?"

Xiao Ruoyan said lightly, "I'll also find a screwdriver and prick it twice, to feel the feeling."

Yan Zhilan said softly, "I don't have a screwdriver in my family, so don't be angry." She knows how to be coquettish, and inserted into Xiao Ruoyan's weakness: "At that time, I hated my father always mentioning marriage to me. Things, on the other hand...I hate myself for not being able to sleep, for the kind of hostility rising from the bottom of my heart."

Because he fell asleep, he could see Xiao Ruoyan.

Later, she bought a lot of sleeping pills, and at first she just took one or two pills when she couldn't fall asleep. Later, Xiao Ruoyan in her dream was like a poppy flower, making her intoxicated.

Not only Yan Feng, but even her elder sister persuaded her, "Xiao Yan, you will ruin your whole life like this."

Yan Zhilan said quietly, "Sister, do you think I have any life left for me now?"

Those who have died once have nothing to fear.

Back then, whenever her attitude was a little slack, Yan Feng would not just let it go.

Xiao Ruoyan was angry and distressed at the same time, "Don't be like this in the future."

Yan Zhilan leaned against her obediently, "Yes."

Her Ah Yan is back.

She also started a new life well.

She needs to get better soon, and live a long life, otherwise, how can her Ah Yan, such a crybaby, be able to do without her protection?

The two hugged each other quietly for a while, feeling each other's body temperature and rapid heartbeat. There was continuous drizzle outside the window, and the scent of each other was in the air.

too happy...

Not to mention Xiaoyan, even Xiao Ruoyan was in a daze, unable to tell whether it was reality or a dream.

The little meowing on the ground, Yan Zhilan remembered, "Ah, I forgot to feed it cat food."

Xiao Ruoyan pinched her nose, "Sit down, I'll go."

Yan Zhilan hugged her tightly, "Don't go, I don't want you to go."

Xiao Ruoyan hugged her tightly, and thought for a while: "Why don't you go hungry for a meal?"

Xiaoxiao: ...

Dog owner! ! !

10 minute later.

After all, Xiao Ruoyan took care of Xiaoxiao. He fed the cat food and poured milk for it.

Xiao Snack's face was buried in it, and Xiao Ruoyan wiped his mouth carefully, even cleaning every beard and beard.

Yan Zhilan watched, she said faintly, "I want you to bathe me in the future."

Xiao Ruoyan shivered for a moment, and she changed the subject absent-mindedly: "Xiaoyan, what do I look like in your dreams?"

Although she knew it would hurt, but for the future, she had to ask.

No matter how many problems, no matter how difficult, no matter how intractable, there will always be an end.

Xiao Ruoyan is full of confidence in the future, as long as the two of them are together, she will no longer be afraid of the storm.

She owes her so much.For the rest of my life, I will give her every little bit of compensation.

Yan Zhilan was frank, "Mostly it was the appearance when I was a student. When I return to China, I don't see it very often, but I will also have you...well, the appearance after work."

Xiao Ruoyan tilted her head: "And you said you didn't sneak to see me?"

The lie was exposed face to face, Yan Zhilan was a little embarrassed, she went to see Xiao Ruoyan, not just once, but at that time she just came back, everything was under Yan Feng's control, she was always afraid that her father would hurt her.

Xiao Ruoyan washed her hands, she walked to the bed and hugged her, thinking of countermeasures.

She wants to go back as soon as possible to hand over the work, smooth everything out, and come back quickly.

Xiaoyan's situation is not very optimistic, but fortunately, after she came back, she became obedient and willing to receive treatment.

She also needs to find a reliable doctor to see.

This medicine cannot be taken, but you can't stop taking it all at once, and the dose should be reduced little by little.

Home is the most reassuring place. Although Xiaoyan's dormitory building is nice, it always lacks the taste of home.

And just in school, there will be some inconvenience and discomfort.

She was thinking chaotically, Yan Zhilan leaned against her leisurely, closed her eyes enjoying herself, her legs were still dangling like children, Xiao Ruoyan turned her head to look at her, and asked casually: " Then in your dreams, what do I look like most often?"

Xiao Ruoyan thought about it, knowing that Xiaoyan fantasized about her most, and listened to her description of what clothes she was wearing and what she looked like, so that she could go back and change into that kind of clothes and that kind of dress for her to see and feel. It might be useful to have a look at what is actually true.

Xiaoyan's face was a little red, she bit her lip and remained silent, her legs stopped swinging.Xiao Ruoyan urged: "Say it."

Yan Zhilan plunged her head into her arms sullenly, "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Of course." Xiao Ruoyan has always been very strong in this regard, she took out the person who was still in her arms, and looked at her seriously: "I want to know."

Is there anything she can't accept?

No matter what Xiaoyan fantasizes about her, she can accept it.

Yan Zhilan asked in a low voice, embarrassed: "Why do you want to know this?"

Xiao Ruoyan was very honest: "You tell me what I look like, and I'll change the clothes for you to see, so that you can feel it better, I am real."

Her brain was spinning rapidly, maybe it was when she said she was going to separate?

No...maybe it was when they first kissed?

Under her gaze, Yan Zhilan's face turned red little by little, she hesitated for a moment, then raised her head to look at Xiao Ruoyan's eyes sparkling, and said softly, "You look like you don't have any clothes on."

Xiao Ruoyan's whole body was stiff, her face flushed instantly, and her body instinctively moved backwards, but Yan Zhilan had already followed her, with an astonishing speed, she looked at Xiao Ruoyan and smiled, her smile was like a charming Daji Similarly, sticking her slender hands on Xiao Ruoyan's pajamas, she asked in a nasal voice, "Ah Yan, what are you running for? Do you still count on your words?"

The author has something to say: Ye Zi suddenly caught a cold and covered her face, maybe it really seemed like everyone said that she cried too much yesterday.

I'm getting older.

ps: The latest update time may not be fixed, but it happens every day, if you have nothing to do, just check it out, okay?