law of courtship

Zhilan left the rooftop garden and stepped down the stairs in disorder, his mind was in a mess.

When Milena bid farewell to him just now, she held his hand reluctantly and repeatedly asked to "keep in touch". Zhilan didn't know whether the blind date was considered successful or not.

Regardless of success or failure, what would happen if Uncle Song found out that he had a blind date with his spouse?

Zhi Lan shuddered violently, the scene of Song biting the chicken wings with a cold face appeared in his mind, he couldn't help but feel a little flustered and short of breath, he was full of desire to survive in an instant, the fear of "being eaten" overwhelmed him at this moment The desire to lay eggs dominates Zhilan's thoughts.

My life is almost gone, how can I lay eggs?

Zhilan ran back to the small courtyard where he lived. He wanted to go into the house to catch up on sleep, but he was a little afraid of being questioned by Xiao Dou about the details of the blind date.

Xiao Dou is a beta and has never been in a relationship, so he definitely cannot understand the predicament he has encountered. If you tell him the truth, Xiao Dou will inevitably take a copy of him with Grandpa Mao and accuse him of messing up a good blind date .

Zhi Lan stood at the door for a while, not daring to go back home, the tip of her nose was a little sore, she sniffed her nose and thought about it carefully, and decided to seek help from the knowledgeable Pang Dada.

Zhilan knocked on the door of the opposite building anxiously, Pang Dada led him into the room, and asked curiously: "Xiaolan, what's the matter with your eyes, are you infected by me?"

Zhi Lan fiddled with her fingers dejectedly: "Don't worry about this, Pang Da, I'm in big trouble."

"What's wrong? Tell me about it." Pang Da pulled himself together, made him a cup of lotus heart tea, and put on a listening attitude.

Zhilan held up the cup in a daze, sipped the warm tea, and wrinkled his whole face from the bitterness as soon as he took it, grinning: "What kind of tea is this?"

Pang Dada, a health expert, stroked his chin and popularized science for him: "The germ in the middle of lotus seeds can improve the symptoms of irritability and insomnia. I think it is very suitable for you."

"Thank you, you still know a lot," Zhilan blew the tea to cool down, pinched his nose and drank a few sips, before talking about business: "Pang Da, I have encountered relationship problems."

"Oh? What's the problem?" Pang Dada sat up straight.

"I don't know how to describe it, how about I describe what happened to you first?" Zhi Lan lowered the corners of his eyes, his face full of displeasure.

"No problem, you said."

"A...good friend of mine, he has a very beautiful spouse, a female omega, and they have a very good relationship..."

Little Lanmao's eyes kept rolling, and she told the story purely on the basis of imagination, without verifying the truth of the matter at all, so she fabricated a couple out of thin air. The protagonists were of course Uncle Song and his blind date.

"And then?" Pang Dada seemed to be very interested in his story, and the hidden gossip soul was blazing.

"The two of them should still be together, because I just saw them two days ago...kissed."

Zhilan didn't know if Pang Da, a panda, could understand the views of birds and humanoids on sex, so he replaced it with an easy-to-understand term. In his opinion, kissing is the same as sex, it's an expression of intimacy between spouses way of contact.

"Wow, exciting!" Pang Dada cheered with all his might, clapping his thick palms and asked again: "And then?"

Zhilan hesitated again and again, and whispered cowardly: "If... I mean if, don't think too much, if I also want to be with that female, let her lay an egg for me..."

Before Zhilan finished speaking, Pang Da stood up in horror, patted him on the back and comforted him: "Xiao Lan, did you not sleep well and fell into hysteria, I will take you to the infirmary to have a look."

"No, I don't." Zhi Lan pushed his bear's paw away and said seriously: "I'm serious, you also know that our S-level endangered humanoids are hard to find a partner, and I met a female who can help me lay eggs It’s too difficult, and I’m a little bit reconciled.”

"So, you want to compete fairly with that friend to snatch this female omega?" Pang Dada understood Zhi Lan's meaning, and the surprise still persisted:

Did little blue hair get the wrong script? As a beta, Pang Dada couldn't understand why he was caught in this bloody drama of love rivals.

"I think," Zhi Lan blinked, "but I don't dare, my friend is very fierce, he can lift me up with one hand, and if this happens again, click, do you understand?"

Zhilan made gestures with hands and feet, pinched her own neck and twisted it to the side, her facial expression was also very engaging, she rolled her eyes, her tongue stuck out a long way, and she passionately performed the scene where she was strangled to death by Song.

"This...you are too difficult," Pang Dada felt the same, and comforted his partner distressedly: "Then what are you going to do?"

Zhilan held his thick bear paw and rubbed it like he was pinching plasticine: "I came to you just to ask you to help me plan a plan, what should I do, I'm so fat, help me figure out a way Bar."

"Cough..." Pang Dada choked on the air, and looked at him suspiciously: "Ask me for help? Are you serious?"

"Ah?" Zhi Lan didn't understand the meaning of his attitude.

Pang Dada sat back on the sofa again, poured himself a cup of lotus heart tea, swallowed the bitter tea, shrugged his eyes and said in a low voice:

"Xiao Lan, do you know why pandas are on the verge of extinction?"

Zhilan showed doubts: "I don't know, do you have any explanation?"

Pang Dada sighed, and became overwhelmed for a moment: "Because the pandas have a 100% chance of being differentiated into beta and do not have an estrus period, the fertility rate of the entire population is extremely low, and we are extremely slow in emotions, like Born to lack a nerve that dominates love."

"This..." Zhi Lan started to worry about the other party in turn: "Are you too?"

Pang Dada gave a wry smile in frustration: "I'm six years older than you, but I haven't found a partner yet, what do you think?"

It was only then that Zhilan remembered that the Bazhou Institute had more than one panda, Pang Dada, plus the one in front of him, there were a total of six black-eyed chubby pandas in the institute, and they were all in the breeding age group. Come two pairs.But he heard from Dr. Yu that the Bazhou Institute hadn't had a new panda cub for five years.

"You all... don't want to fall in love?" Zhilan asked worriedly.

Pang Dada frowns: "I don't feel it, neither the male nor the female, what can I do, shh... I suspect that my species may have sexual dysfunction."

"What is x dysfunction?" Zhi Lan was even more confused.

Pang Dada quickly covered his mouth: "Bah, bah, I'm talking nonsense, don't take it to heart, let's talk about you, I really can't give you valuable advice, if I understand these, I won't come here Now he's still a bachelor."

"Okay," after listening to Pang Dada's sad reminder, Zhilan felt that his little matter was nothing. Even a species with inherent defects like pandas is trying to survive and breed offspring. He just missed a laying egg. Object, there is really nothing to regret.

Zhilan patted his buddy on the shoulder: "Thank you, Pang Da, I decided to let nature take its course. Whether I can lay eggs is my fate, I don't force it, and I don't get discouraged."

"That's right." The depression on Pang Dada's face disappeared, and he smiled happily: "Look at it, the meaning of our existence is not only to breed offspring, there are many meaningful things worth exploring, friendship, food , unknown scenery, aren’t these fragrant?”

This bowl of Panda brand chicken soup is mellow and heart-warming. Zhi Lan nodded seriously, as if thinking of something, he suddenly said: "By the way, Pang Da, the thing I just described to you... I don't quite understand, what should I do now?" Define my relationship with that friend?"

Pang Dada was stunned, and then understood his words: "You mean, you want to compete fairly with him for a spouse?"

"Ah."

What can Pang Dada do? No. 1: "Everyone calls this kind of relationship a rival in love. You and that friend may not be able to get along well. With your current relationship, in the old society, you are going to be singled out. Dueling."

Zhilan wanted to cry but had no tears: "Duel? No way..."

Pang Dada didn't think it was a big deal when he watched the excitement: "Well, the kind that never dies."

Zhilan's second counsel: A duel with Uncle Song?

No more, no more spouse, no more eggs, let's save my life first.

In order to relieve the panic, Zhi Lan took a sip of the already cold lotus heart tea, and said with a frown: "Pang Da, you just said that this tea can improve the symptoms of irritability?"

Pang Dada: "That's right, the lotus seed heart has the effect of clearing the heart fire, and it can also calm the meridian and protect the liver, and treat excessive liver fire caused by restlessness."

Zhilan's eyes lit up: "Is there any more? Can you give me some."

"It's more, wait, I'll get it for you."

The author says:

Apologies to the national treasures, sorry for the offense.But the pandas in the real world really love papa papa!none!prosper!interest!

If you are interested in the breeding of Gun Gun, you can search for a hot post on Zhihu: Why are pandas frigid?