my ten boyfriends

My second boyfriend is called timid.

Timidity and I met through a blind date, which was set up by my mother.When she said it was good to have a boy and asked me if I wanted to see it, I couldn't believe it, how could a mother give so much to her child?After being abandoned by her husband, she was devastated by gossip and caring and became somewhat conservative. In order to get along better with her child, she has been forcing herself to study and understand what the child said and did. Unexpectedly, she Not only did he force himself to understand the fact that his son was gay, he even did things like host a blind date.

I am a little worried, I understand that my mother regards me as her everything, which is already a bit paranoid.But I'm such an asshole, I can't tell my mother, don't be so nice to me, like I can with connivance.

I just want her to be so nice to me.

My mother had the idea of ​​giving me a blind date because after I broke up with Connong, for a long time when I mentioned this matter or touched on the content of love, I was depressed.At that time, I even thought, I don’t want people who treat me well, and I don’t like people who treat me badly. Do I want to be single for the rest of my life?During the summer vacation when I went home in my junior year, my mother actually saw it.

She said, maybe you can start getting along with friends, find someone to talk to, maybe you will feel right.She also said that even if you are gay, you have to settle down. After she knew my sexuality, she showed me to see it from the people around me. It is better to know this way than others. She was found on the Internet. The promiscuity, gangbangs in the gay scene are freaking out.She checked a lot of possible characteristics of homosexuality, and then slowly inquired, and finally found out that a nephew of her and a classmate, who pays more attention to grooming, has a very introverted personality, is also a third-year university student, and has never been willing to fall in love. Flip.She looked at the photo and thought it looked very similar, but she was not sure that she might push other children astray, so she asked her classmates for the person's number and asked me to contact him to have a look.

That's right, this is a "blind date" that the other party doesn't know about, and that person is timid.

When I had no contact with timidity and only saw his photos, I was not sure whether timidity was gay or not.Even though I know a lot of gay and bi people are hiding their true sexuality and pretending to be "normal", I also feel that gays are not so easy to see.The reason why I plan to get in touch is that I can't bear to live up to my mother's good intentions, and I think it's good to make friends with him even if he is a straight man. Anyway, I have never liked a straight man since I was a child. It's just because the object of impulse when watching a movie is different from the gender of ordinary people.

I used the reason of going to the swimming pool to get my timidity out.In the swimming pool, the moment I undressed in front of him, I knew he was really gay.We went to the swimming pool three times, had five meals together, and watched two movies, so I planned to chase him.He wasn't what I expected, I didn't expect the ideal.But I want to fall in love, right now, especially.

It was my first time chasing someone, so I took it very seriously.The more I chase him, the more I understand him, and the more I understand the feelings of indulgence towards me at the beginning——I want to be nice to him, and I want to do my best to be nice to him.I have learned the lesson from the last relationship, it is not urgent for him. During the three months at home, I only asked him out a few times, and it didn’t matter if he was rejected. He treats him like an ordinary friend, sending him some funny Weibo jokes from time to time, telling some relatively basic naughty jokes, and saying good night to each other, and we all know each other well, the friendship between ordinary boys will not be in touch like this close.

He understood what I meant, and always pretended not to understand the hidden meaning in my words, either changing the subject or pretending not to be there.I'm not disappointed, I have no concerns, but that doesn't mean I don't understand the pressure on him.I don't ask for a future with him, I just want to have a relationship with him, and he, is that kind of person, I'm sure, he will marry, let his wife be a wife, he may make a good husband , may also be unable to help but derail.

He is always rejecting me.Before the end of this semester, I simply rushed to his city and said that I would come to travel.I rented a hotel outside his school and told him the address.I don't plan to do anything with him here, I just want to see if he will come.

He came just in time, and I made my prepared confession.I have to admit that I am very immoral, I seduced him with words, words that are instant pleasure and irresponsible.I let him temporarily forget about the problems that he needs to worry about in the future. He accepted my confession and became my boyfriend.

The leave I took because of family affairs was not long. He accompanied me to his school for two days, and I hurried back, only to be bored on the chat software.At the beginning, when we were in love, every time we sent and received messages, we would get a timely response, as if as long as we needed, we were there, or we were there, and we communicated with each other.

The love period is not long, or the timid love period is not long.When I confessed, I still had a one-month vacation, and when we were just starting to prepare for the final exam, his speed of replying to me had slowed down greatly, and often he said the last sentence, and I replied the next sentence, and then I would hold my phone and go back to me. I can't wait for the next sentence.He reappeared, or continued to speak as if he hadn't disappeared, or didn't mention the last topic at all.

I'm sad that he didn't mention why he didn't reply and what he did, but I also feel that I care about everything like this. Isn't it that I also encounter such emergencies and can't look at my phone.This kind of situation became more and more frequent, and he didn't seem to have such a thing in his speech, so I understood that this relationship might not last long.

Is it because I dumped the price of connivance?I can't help but think like this when I'm pessimistic.But I am not conniving, unlike him, even condoning the breakup I proposed.

During the summer break, I started pursuing my boyfriend.Pursuing him doesn't conflict with the fact that he's already my boyfriend.He just found out that the pressure hadn't disappeared after being sweet, and he didn't want to break up, but he couldn't face the truth. Maybe he agreed to me and regretted it, maybe I became his pressure too.I sympathized with him, worked hard to create romance, and tried to win back his heart.

He is sometimes hot and cold, sometimes smiling at me, and sometimes very indifferent to me.He said harsh things to me, but he hasn't touched the line of breaking up yet.I was surprised that I was a different person at this time, and I became extremely patient.

My mother said that she would never give me a blind date again, and I can do whatever I like.She regretted introducing me to timidity.I said, it's not this, it will be that, how can love be smooth sailing.This kind of chicken soup for the soul, I often pour it myself.I have to stick with it, for some other ridiculous stuff.

Timidity is always full of worries.His courage to accept my confession at the beginning has been exhausted now.I made fun of him, but he didn't dare to respond.When he was with his parents, he told me not to call and send him messages, and deleted our chat records many times a day.Even when we go out to play, we must always pay attention to our behavior and monitor my behavior to prevent our abnormal relationship from being noticed by outsiders, and even let his family and friends know.

Since he was always a frightened cat in public, I asked him to come over to my house.He asked if he was afraid that my mother would find out. I dare not say that my mother knew my sexual orientation, but that she was too dull to tell, and my mother would not come in when I was playing in my room.Telling him about my coming out won't make him happy at all, it will only increase his troubles.

He came to my house to play a few times.My mother has a normal attitude and doesn't say anything, but she often goes out, and her timidity will relax a lot at this time.He also feels sorry for me, and he will only say good things to me when he feels relieved, but this kind of time is rare.From the beginning of my senior year, when we were busy with each other for internships to find jobs and exams, he became even more indifferent to me.

We have been dating for a year, and the time we kiss and go to bed is very small.Under the influence of the outside world, his desire for me was suppressed.This love has gradually lost the meaning of love itself.

I am preparing to take the civil service exam. My major is actually quite popular. Units like the National Taxation Bureau and the Finance Bureau basically recruit every time. However, these units are also very difficult to take the exam, and there are too many applicants, so I did not put my hopes on it. , I just made up for it for a few months, planning to apply for the national exam to try my hand first, and at the same time go home to work.

He was timid but did not come back. He said that he was going to take the postgraduate entrance examination and he had to concentrate on studying in school.I went to see him again, and he really put all his energies into his books.I sat and felt that the aura between us had nothing to do with lovers.

I broke up.Breaking up at this time will not add pressure to his exam, but will relieve him of the burden.His eyes were red, but he relaxed a lot mentally.

This is my second relationship that ended peacefully.I don't think I'm planning to talk anymore in a short time.

I went home, started looking for an internship unit, and finally applied to a private company.My mother and I talked about my future. She said that if you want to take the public examination, you have to think carefully. Such a unit also pays attention to your private life. It is stipulated that you will be dismissed, but it is certain that you will be blinded and have no progress. It is better to find a private company and foreign company, and the impact on your personal life is not that great.

I have already signed up for the national exam, and I don't want to waste the previous few months of review, so I promised my mother that if I don't pass the exam this time, I won't take this path.After the results came out, I was dumbfounded at the score line drawn by the position I applied for. If it was placed in another position, I might still be the first, but it was still more than 20 points away.So simply and neatly, I let go of this heart.

But I know that the cowardly postgraduate entrance examination is admitted.He is highly professional, and maybe he still has the idea of ​​continuing to study for a doctoral degree, and then enters a research institute or something, and may be forced to marry a few years later.

The author has something to say: Thank you for the beauty of the landmines, Christian2's landmines, okay!

The update of this article will not take too long.It's mainly a question of keywords. Now I have picked out a lot, but I always feel that some characteristics will be repeated, and I don't want to write to the point of being delicate.If you decide on a word, you can write a chapter in one go, because the new keyboard is so easy to use!My newspaper heart is also very strong!