Yamaishi

No matter what the team leader tried to persuade, Li Fangqian gave up the project to go to city B, and even paid for the bye air ticket and accommodation at his own expense.The entire laboratory couldn't understand why they had rushed there a few days ago, but now they had the opportunity to stay for a few months, so they didn't go.

Ruan Linlin thought she had done something wrong this time.Human life is at stake, she didn't dare to say too much, she could only watch Li Fangqian evacuate all his belongings in the house.

"You don't want your mother anymore?" Ruan Linlin cried and lay on the door frame.

Without saying a word, Li Fangqian pushed the heavy box to the door and slammed it shut.

The box wheel is spinning.When he went downstairs, he regretted it with all his heart. If he had been tougher at the beginning, if he could have stopped Ruan Linlin earlier...would things have been different?

Won't.This voice came from far away, but it was blocked by the guilt and sadness in my heart.

In fact, everyone understands that even if they really came to N City no matter what, they would not be able to gain a foothold in N City if they were deserted and had no relatives.Thinking about it this way, escape is actually the most despicable but also the best answer.

Li Fangqian completely moved out of the house. N University's apartment building was cleaned by him from inside to outside, and Ruan Linlin's blood was still faintly left on the ground.

The originally heavy and clear smell was now replaced by the pungent smell of disinfectant.

Li Fangqian suddenly understood why Shen Zhuoqing left him the notebook.In this huge room, if all the things you miss are gone, how miserable will life be?

Shen Zhuoqing's notebook still has a few blank sides.Li Fangqian imitated the previous handwriting and sent a message to the canceled mobile phone number that received no response.

Every time one is posted, there will be one more record in the blank space of the book.Unknowingly, the thick notebook has been filled.

Copying text messages doesn't take a lot of brainpower. When you are tired from doing experiments every day, Li Fangqian will look through the previous records before going back to the apartment to rest.

Thinking about it, I was really an asshole. When I get busy, Shen Zhuoqing sends two or three text messages on average before getting one reply.Why couldn't I spend more time with him then?

However, thinking about this kind of question is no different from self-abuse, Li Fangqian can only flip through the past information over and over again.

On New Year's Eve, he was sitting alone in the small apartment, and the fireworks exploded outside the window, lighting up the night sky brilliantly.The TV was muted, but based on the host's mouth movements, she could hear that she was saying something like "I wish the country a peaceful life and the people are safe."

Ruan Linlin called, and Li Fangqian hung up after repeating that he would not go home.

This is the first New Year's Eve without a big meal, no family, and no simplicity.

People often like to say goodbye to the old and welcome the new on this day, but Li Fangqian is still calling the old number that has never been answered over and over again.

On New Year's Eve two years ago, Shen Zhuoqing had listened to him about the grand occasion of the Spring Festival Gala through the handset.

In fact, many foreshadowings had already been laid at that time. For example, they only dared to avoid people's eyes and ears even when they paid New Year's greetings with their boyfriends.But what a fool at that time, Li Fangqian also swears that that year will be their last separation.

"Zhuoqing, I saw it. The show is very interesting." Li Fangqian smiled at the quiet TV.

On the screen were brightly dressed group dancers and a singer Shen Zhuoqing liked very much, but Li Fangqian didn't dare to call out his voice.Just staring at the screen in a daze like this, the sound of crackling firecrackers suddenly sounded outside.Based on his familiarity with the procedures of the Spring Festival Gala, he knew that it was midnight.

"Happy New Year." Li Fangqian dialed the number that no one answered again, and said gently to the busy signal.

In the night when all beings are boiling, this ordinary New Year's greeting disappears into the colorful night sky.

But that number can't be harassed from time to time.One day, the empty number was used by someone who replied a row of question marks to the text message he sent.

Li Fangqian apologized dumbfoundedly, and finally removed the number from the phone.

Not knowing where the thoughts came from, he sat by the notebook for a long time, and finally took up the pen and wrote word by word:

"Mr. Shen, the mountains are high and the rocks are dangerous, and the words are like words."

"I want to tell Mr. Shen that everything is fine on my side."

In the end, I still felt that it was not enough. The cap of the pen was already closed, so I pulled out the pen again and added: "I just still love you."

Only then did I feel that the gap in my heart was filled by something, I closed my book, and I was able to lightly close my clothes and fall asleep.

Every night after that, Li Fangqian would sleep with his pillow in his arms, and there was a small stone in the pillow, which was picked up from S County, polished and polished, but could not be sent as a Valentine's Day gift.

"I'm really not as good as you in everything, and I'm so uninspired to even give a gift." Li Fangqian often said in his sleep.

Moonlight would come in through the curtains and shine on the lonely man.

The person in the dream is always smiling, as if the hug is not a pillow, but a warm and vivid person.

It's just that it takes Li Fangqian a long time to recognize the environment every time he wakes up from the dream.When the consciousness became clear, there was a huge sense of bitterness, and I randomly grabbed the glasses and put them on.

Their last kiss was still in this small apartment.Why didn't she raise her head and kiss him in Shen Zhuoqing's office?Why do you want to say hate or hate in the last sentence?How could he forget to tell him to nourish his stomach and keep warm?

Fortunately, there is Lin Quan.

Li Fangqian asked Lin Quan to do everything he could think of.Tell Lin Quan that Shen Zhuo is not good at drinking alcohol, and drinking it will cause stomach problems. Tell him that Shen Zhuo likes to open the zipper in winter and doesn't dress well. Tell him that Shen Zhuo likes to write manuscripts late at night, regardless of the schedule... . Although I don't know if it can be brought, but the worry is reduced by a few points after all.

"Are you using me as a microphone?" Lin Quan would scold him first, but still send him some dull and clear photos from time to time.

Many times, Li Fangqian can meet Shen Zhuoqing's eyes from these photos that look like candid photos.It's like communicating silently through a lens.

Even Li Fangqian often wondered, did Lin Quan really send the message secretly?Shen Zhuoqing... Could it be that she is also sending a message to herself in this form?

It was not only Lin Quan who was tossed by Li Fangqian, but also Sun Qianming.

At that time, mobile phones could already store electronic photos with good precision.Therefore, Li Fangqian saved the entrance photos of Shen Zhuoqing and himself from the information database of N University, and asked Sun Qianming to synthesize them together.

Red bottom and white shirt, like a pair of married couples.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Sun Qianming was discussing marriage with his muse, and when he saw his friend who had been in love for the longest time end up like this, he couldn't help but hate iron for steel, and jumped angrily, "Is it hard to be brave?"

Li Fangqian just smiled, staring at the composite photo on the computer, without refuting.

It's actually very difficult to empathize with this.Therefore, more often, Li Fangqian still chatted with Lin Quan about the current situation-after all, he could still get some clues about his ex-boyfriend.

Filling the gap with work seems to be the favorite thing for people who have lost their love.In fact, Li Fangqian would also choose to sort out the data of the day in many midnights when he dreamed back.

But this time, no matter how heavy the work was, he simply couldn't concentrate.Seeing his distraught appearance, the team leader kindly advised him to take a vacation.

How can I take a vacation?The vacation should have been saved to watch Shen Zhuoqing.

Li Fangqian refused very simply.After nearly injuring himself during an experiment, he finally learned to temporarily block his senses.It was only after the project came to an end that the emptiness and despair rushed over, surrounded the heart, and made it hard to breathe.

He would still click on Shen Zhuoqing's blog from time to time. Although it hadn't been updated since Wu Que left, Li Fangqian could still imagine Shen Zhuoqing recording every plant and tree in the T courtyard.

The profiles of the two of them were all cleared, and he couldn't help but regret that he couldn't keep these sweet intertexts well.Back then, he had teased Shen Zhuoqing of the Academy of Arts for being too convoluted. Now, Li Fangqian began to blame himself. How could he leave so many regrets?

This state continued until the second year after the breakup.

Li Fangqian still dare not take pictures, dare not go to the Drum Tower, dare not watch fireworks, dare not listen to musicals, dare not walk the high and steep stairs of the station and the new library.

His life revolves around a small laboratory on the first floor of the new campus of N University, and some people joke that he is a workaholic.

On his birthday, sharp-eyed people noticed that there was a small pattern embroidered on the corner of Li Fangqian's clothes.

"Sister-in-law is so ingenious?" The colleague carelessly lifted the corner of his clothes and carefully identified it, "Huh? Why is it a pillow?"

Li Fangqian immediately took out his clothes, dusted them with his hands like a baby, and carefully identified them amidst the complaints of his colleagues.

In fact, the reason why I found out this dress today is because it was a birthday present from Shen Zhuoqing when he was in B University.

He always thought it was an ordinary shirt, and it was kept until today because of nostalgia. He never noticed that there were words embroidered with white thread on the corner of the shirt.

At that time, they were not together, right?

Li Fangqian remembered the uncharacteristic Shen Zhuoqing when he was in California, and the cautious Shen Zhuoqing when he was in B University, and felt distressed for a while.

During so many years that he didn't know, how much bitterness did Shen Zhuoqing digest by himself?

Li Fangqian stroked the unremarkable word and slapped himself.

Shen Zhuoqing finally replaced the white thread with a bright red thread, which was conspicuously exposed to the sunlight, proving to him that the secret feelings while reading are not impulse.

Shen Zhuoqing has crossed mountains, rivers, lakes and seas, and can still love with passion.But he let them go away.

In the past, they ate and lived together, were deeply influenced by each other, and wished they could become one person.But now, they have to forcibly cut off the parts that belong to each other, clean them up, restore their physical bodies, say goodbye politely, and go their separate ways.

Li Fangqian took off his glasses and rubbed his red eyes.The phone kept sending birthday wishes from his friends, but he didn't bother to reply one by one, so he simply started sending them in groups.Anyway, the one I want to see the most is impossible to appear again.

While sending a group message, the phone vibrated again.At this time, it was already past zero, and logically no one would come to send messages.

Li Fangqian held a trace of luck, and his heartbeat gradually became disordered. When he opened the inbox, he was stunned, and his fingertips, which were warmed up with anticipation, quickly cooled down.

[Lin Quan: I'm getting married. ]