Yamaishi

Li Fangqian failed to connect these two sentences.

The logical thinking ability he was proud of suddenly stopped, and he couldn't even recall the content of the text message, only remembering a few dazzling words, break up.

He remembered that he had discussed with Shen Zhuoqing the cruelty of the word "separation". Those couples who were separated from each other with love should hate this word to death.But at this time, he couldn't even react, what was the state of the breakup.

Is it two places apart?They have always been like this.Is love broken?This is obviously impossible.

Li Fangqian laughed as if mocking himself, and looked up at Shen Zhuoqing, trying to find the answer from him.

Shen Zhuoqing just took a few deep breaths, turned his back and walked to the desk.

When he came back, Shen Zhuoqing had a few more books in his hands—the thickness of the textbook, and it was obvious that the used part of the paper had layered colors; it was wrapped in hard paper as the book cover, which should be torn from the big calendar A certain page of the website; the word "pillow" was neatly written on the cover, and the word "rock" below looked very new, and it should have been added after Li Fangqian started his blog.

Shen Zhuoqing forcefully forced back the tears, took a breath, and then slowly said: "Fang Qian, I will give you all of these..."

Li Fangqian shook his head and kept asking him what he meant, but he never got a response.

If you accept it, does it mean that love will be broken from now on?

Li Fangqian didn't believe it.

A voice in his heart told him that if he didn’t watch it this time, he might never have the chance to watch it again.

By accident, Li Fangqian turned to the first page, only to see densely written:

[The school will be closed tomorrow, and I just bought a lot of daily necessities.Lin Quan is fine, he just has a cold, but he is still in isolation in the hospital. ]

[Remember to disinfect, buy more for daily use, don't be afraid of waste.Pay attention to safety when you go out-forget it, let's not go out, call me if you have something to do, and I will call back when you see it. ]...

[Happy birthday]......

[The application to go to city B has been submitted, wait for me. ]...

[Going into the mountains, the signal is not good, and I may not be able to contact you often this week.Miss you. ]

Here the record ends abruptly, leaving an ugly half-blank on the page.

"Zhuoqing, what does this mean?"

Li Fangqian flipped through it a few times before he realized what it was. He quickly put it back on the table like a hot book, and tears flowed out unconsciously.

Shen Zhuoqing handed over a piece of paper and motioned him to wipe the corner of his eyes: "I changed my mobile phone, and it can save a lot of Chinese text messages now. So, I won't have the habit of memorizing these in the future. I will give it to you as a souvenir Bar."

Change the phone, but there is no need to tell you the new contact information.

Do not contact me in the future.

Li Fangqian's movements stagnated, the clock was ticking, but the two of them were breathing more and more chaotically.

In the end, it was Shen Zhuoqing who broke the silence, and said with a sigh: "By the way, I forgot to tell you, my father passed away."

It wasn't until he came out of the office that Li Fangqian realized the possible connection between "the photo is gone" and "Shen Cong is gone".

Ruan Linlin, Ruan Linlin...

Li Fangqian almost went crazy, his nails were buried in the palm of his hand when he clenched his fist, he chased after Shen Zhuoqing and asked what happened.

If these questions were heard before the funeral, Shen Zhuoqing would probably be excited to ask Li Fangqian to accompany him to confront him, but now, Shen Zhuoqing can calmly persuade Li Fangqian not to be impulsive, don't call, and go back and have a good chat with Ruan Linlin.

After all, the inability to accurately communicate emotions on the phone can make things worse--and they know it well.

Li Fangqian was still in a daze, and Shen Zhuoqing asked him to do what he did, so he followed suit.

However, their state is too natural, not like a couple who just broke up.

After all, after hundreds of rehearsals, Shen Zhuoqing looked the same as usual.However, only he himself knew that the venom had already spread from his chest to his whole body, starting to rot from his internal organs, silently digesting the pain of bone erosion.

Shen Zhuoqing still smiled, and asked: "Let's not mention these unhappy things for now. After finally coming to City B, shall we go for a stroll in the city center?"

There, there is a huge red billboard, and an optical shop a few tens of meters away sells many new and thin styles.

In fact, Shen Zhuoqing has selfish intentions, he still wants to keep a memory with his lover.But over the years, they have already exchanged everything about themselves.Then buy some new ones, Shen Zhuo Qing thought.

Li Fangqian had mixed feelings and was not suitable for shopping.And thinking that this might be the last trip together, Li Fangqian immediately agreed.

How did Li Fangqian choose the style in the end? Li Fangqian has no impression at all. He only remembers that when he secretly glanced at Shen Zhuoqing, the other party also peeked at him for the first time.

There are really too many little things that have a good understanding between them.

"...Forgetinthee, theircupofsorrowhere."

Li Fangqian simply turned peeping into staring, and said very lightly.

I didn't intend to get any response, but I didn't expect that Shen Zhuo could hear it clearly and still remember it.He was stunned for a moment, and then said with a wry smile: "Mr. Right Foot, no one will be your eyes in the future, you have to protect your eyes."

With that said, Shen Zhuoqing put on the glasses for Li Fangqian.The style of these glasses is more playful than the original one, but the lenses are still thicker.It's just that neither of them cared about the lenses.

Their postures are ambiguous and restrained, not like friends, much less like lovers.

Li Fangqian choked up for a moment, but did not speak after all.The cold touch of the frame told him, really, he had to break with those old things once and for all.

The phone was changed, the glasses were changed, and the notepad was changed.

These thoughts made Li Fangqian breathless, but he didn't even dare to say a word of convincing.

That is the life of a dear one.

Li Fangqian hastily bought a ticket back to N city - this may be his shortest trip.

Once again, two people embrace each other tightly, like saying goodbye to travelers or friends.

"Zhuoqing, don't hate me...it doesn't matter if you forget me, don't hate me."

At the airport, Li Fangqian put his hands on Shen Zhuoqing's shoulders, not even daring to use any more strength.On the other hand, Shen Zhuoqing didn't tense up, he clasped his hands tightly, lowered his head, and buried it in the other's neck.

"No." Shen Zhuoqing said a long paragraph after a long time, which was not included in the rehearsal line, but it was more fluent than any previous sentence:

"Fang Qian, I won't hate you, let alone forget you. I can't even hate anyone. Because from the beginning, maybe our decision was wrong. We know that there will be no future, but we insist on it for half a year Holding on to the so-called "hope" that can't be seen once, that's not persistence, that's torture. Obviously, I should be more brave, or at least spend a little more time explaining to my family, but I choose to continue to hide it because of the annoying noise. Compromise is called evasion."

"I will blame Ruan Linlin, I will not deny this, but Fang Qian, I will never hate you, and maybe I will still love you for many years to come, but I really don't want to hide for love anymore ’, losing other things that are also important.”

"The ticking bomb was there, we knew it all along. And, as long as we're together, there won't be just one or two bombs around. If we don't have our armor ready, it's no wonder we step on the fuse when we run."

Saying that, Shen Zhuoqing gently lowered his hands, ending the non-lingering hug.

He learned it a long time ago—on that sticky night, in a small rental house, two people dreaming about the future—raised their hands to cover Li Fangqian's eyes.

I could feel the beating of the eyelids in the palm of my hand, and after a while, the palm of my hand became wet.Countless memories flooded in, but Li Fangqian tried to hold back his tears but failed, so he could only sob and listen to Shen Zhuoqing.

"I remember you said that it takes 10 minutes to cycle around the building between the Faculty of Arts and the Faculty of Geological Sciences, and you have to take me for a walk."

Shen Zhuoqing became sobbing, and tried to adjust his breath before he could continue to say: "We are so stupid, it took so long, but we couldn't get together."

Li Fangqian didn't want to bear it anymore, he stretched out his hand and held Shen Zhuoqing backwards, his palm pressed tightly against his fingers, and he could trace the joints of his fingers in detail.

Although his eyes were covered, Shen Zhuoqing still managed to squeeze out a smile that was uglier than crying:

"Now, it's finally here."

This was February 2004, 2, five days before Li Fangqian was scheduled to meet Shen Zhuoqing in City B.

And the plane roared through the sky.This missed Valentine's Day for a long time, after all, it was not consummated.

From then on, there is no confidant in the road ahead, and life and death are all things.