Brother certificate

"Ye~ You are finally back! You have to help me!" Xiao Zeya pounced on him as soon as he returned to the dormitory.

"what happened?"

"My dog ​​and my wife..."

"Speak in human language!" What are "Agou" and "Ajuan"? !

"Aiyou~Ye, you really don't understand, this is the Suzhou dialect I just learned!"

"So? Get to the point!"

"Well, my brother and my sister are coming to the sports meeting tomorrow, and when they come, they will ask me if I have found a girlfriend, and they say that if I can't find a girlfriend this time, I will die! You know I'm gay, so, Can you pretend to be a woman and help me hide tomorrow?"

Fuck! "Why me? You can just find a girl for this kind of thing, right?"

"But none of them understand me!"

"That's easy, you can find a boy!" I sat down and poured myself a glass of water.

"Can not be done……"

"Why?" Give me a convincing reason!

"Because his father and mother are coming too, and it's also for this reason."

"It's really open for me to go to your two families. At this juncture, I actually came to see if my son has found a girlfriend."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm really miserable." Suffering?Sorry, didn't see it.However, it's really hard for you, that you can grow into such a second person in such an environment.

"Ye, please don't look at me like you look at animals, okay?"

"Why don't you look for Si Qi?"

"Ye, I know that I'm usually a little sloppy, you can't get used to it, but you don't want to put me to death, right?" Xiao Zeya said with a sobbing face.

"What about a boy?"

"He sneaked out to the airport to pick up his parents." You know that too? !Oh, it's not impossible, after all, you are in that kind of relationship.

"What about the boss?"

"Xu Qingna..." The boss was mighty.

"Then you can find him."

"Can not be done."

"what happened again?"

"Lolo is too tall, and you can tell she's not a woman just by looking at her." That's right.

"But you are different! Look at you, you are less than 1.7 meters tall. Although you and Li Xin are twins, but you have the same breath, and they look the same. They only know Li Xin and not you, and I have long wanted to see you. It looks like a woman's dress."

"..." Ni!Ma!Labor and capital are 1.7 meters!What's wrong with labor and capital being thin?You are upset, you bite me! !Nima’s words made my heart bleed!besides!The last sentence is the key point you want to say, right? !

Sigh...forget it, it's bad luck for me to have such a buddy, "You owe me once."

"Oh yes! That's great, Ye you agreed?!! Come on, meh!" I pushed him away stiffly, just thank you, meh... I think it's better to forget it, I hate it.

"Really, Xiaoyeye? Then you can help me, too?!"

As soon as I turned my head, I saw Yizi's starry eyes, "Damn you, aren't you going to pick up your parents?"

"Yeah, I just came back. By the way, help me, help me!"

"It's not that I don't want to, the bitch has already begged me for help, if I go to your place again... I'm afraid it won't be good?"

"What's wrong? Don't worry, I told my parents that the girlfriend I'm looking for is twins with the whore." Yizai made a "relief" gesture to me.

Meow!It turns out that you guys have colluded and come to play me? ! !

After the opening ceremony, we hurried back to the dormitory.

"Ye! Are you alright?" Xiao Zeya's voice came from outside.

"What are you panicking about? Am I not wearing this right?" I rolled my eyes, alas... who will tell me why this skirt and wig seem to be against me?It's awkward how to wear it, and there is one more thing I don't understand. Why do you wear a skirt in such a cold day?Wearing a school uniform is not very... er... If you ask girls to borrow it... you will probably be beaten to death by those girls, right?

"Oh, hurry up, when my brother and sister don't see me when I come, I won't have a peaceful life in the future."

"I won't help you anymore!!"

"Yes, I was wrong. My dear Ye...can you make it sooner? Yizai is still waiting to make up for you." I poked my head out suddenly, "What, what?! Still, still need to put on makeup , Make-up?!" Isn't it?It's fine for me to wear a skirt and a wig as a pure man, but you still want me to wear makeup? ! !I'm going to compete with Li Xin today, I look like this... oh...

"Oh, forget it, Xiaoyeye..."

"Don't want me to help? That's great! I thank your whole family!" You're such a nice guy!

"No!" Yizai patted me helplessly, "I plan to serve you at home, I'll help you change your clothes, and then do your makeup, it's more convenient."

"Just put on makeup?" I said timidly.

"Oh, don't worry, my skills are very good, I guarantee that your mother will not recognize you."

"Still... don't you want it?" I pushed him.

"Don't talk about it! Get ready to take the move! Bitch, come on!" Yizai and the bastard pushed the door in at the same time and pressed me on the bed, "Close the door!"

"Xiao Yeye, don't be afraid... I will be very warm and gentle!" Why do I panic more and more as I listen to it?

"Ah——!" Mom!help! ! ! !

Two 10 minutes later—

"Hey, look, look! My craftsmanship is really good!" Yizai boasted.

"Yeah yeah, don't tell me, Ye, you are really a beauty in such a dress. Sigh... If I wasn't gay, I would definitely bow down under your pomegranate skirt and marry you back home." I choked Come on, is that an exaggeration?

"Can you stop wearing this scarf? It's very uncomfortable."

Yizai glanced at me, "Then please press your Adam's apple back." Uh... ok.

"Come, come, Ye, let's take a picture!" Saying that, the bitch took out his cell phone from his pocket.

I rolled my eyes, "I said... weren't you urging your life before? Why are you so leisurely now?"

"Ah! That's right! Let's go!!" The two rushed me out of the dormitory without me responding.

Mom, are you two in a desperate rhythm?Can you please don't take me with you?I haven't lived enough! ! !

******

"Brother! Sister! Your favorite Ozawa is here!" The bitch took my hand and waved to a couple not far away.

Fuck!Do you dare to be more disgusting?

"Where are people?!" His sister patted him domineeringly.

It must be painful, right?The face is distorted!Alas... Poor Didi, you know we usually beat him up a lot, so his ability to fight is absolutely top-notch, but now... I am very worried about my personal safety!

Xiao Zeya said in pain: "Sister... Be gentle, or you will be useless! Isn't that what it is?" After speaking, he pushed me up.

"Hello, sister." I tried my best to squeeze out a smile and waved to her.

She looked at me sharply, and then looked at Xiao Zeya, "Xiao Zeya, is this a girl? Why does the voice sound like this?"

"Sister, you have to know, it's so cold now, Ye has a little cold." Xiao Zeya said without blushing.

She breathed a sigh of relief, "That's it..." Then she took my hand and held it in both hands, I was shocked, what, what do you want? ! "Looks like Xiao Ye is really cold, she's shivering," I was shivering because of fear when I saw you, okay?She smiled at me, but the words were addressed to Xiao Zeya, "I thought you brought a slightly better-looking boy to fool me." Sister, admit it, your belly is definitely not good Ya Yu Siqi.I couldn't help but glared sadly, Xiao Zeya.

The elder brother said, "What's wrong, Xiao Ye? Did this kid bully you?"

I saw Xiao Zeya flicking his eyes desperately, as if he would be "executed by Ling Chi" after I said it. "It's okay, brother, I just haven't seen him so well-behaved." He's always on the sidelines!

"Really?" My sister raised her eyebrows, "Ozawa, it seems that you still have a side that we don't know about!"

"W-Where is there? Sis, you have to know, I am a man, how can I go too far in front of the woman I love, right?"

"What is 'that what'? Huh?" The elder brother looked at Xiao Zeya with a half-hearted smile.Fuck!Is your family all black-bellied devils except for Xiao Zeya?

"It's nothing, it's nothing..." Xiao Zeya wiped his sweat.

"Huh?" Brother's smile deepened.

"Woo... I was wrong... I will be obedient to him in the future, and I will definitely be as well-behaved as ever!" Xiao Zeya raised the white flag and surrendered.

Maybe this is not bad, at least I can see that Xiao Zeya is more aggrieved than usual, but...if I keep silent, I'm afraid I'll be betrayed too.

I put on a sweet smile, "Sister, brother, Zeya also wants to show his masculinity, so don't scare him." I can guarantee that this is definitely the name I have called Xiao Zeya since I met Xiao Zeya until now. The most intimate time ever.

The elder sister snorted, "Since Xiao Ye said so, then I will let you off once."

"Xiao Ye, why don't you go shopping with my sister?" My sister gently took my hand. "Uh... good."

"What game does my sister want to watch?" I asked with a smile.

"Well...let's watch basketball first." Damn it!no? !

"Uh... my sister, please..." I made a "please" gesture.

"Small night..."

"What, what?"

"Don't be afraid, sister won't kill you, you don't have to restrain yourself." But I'm afraid that you will destroy me...

"OK, all right."

"To be honest, Xiao Ye, my sister likes you very much. I feel much relieved that Ozawa has a girlfriend like you." That's right!Nonsence!Labor and capital are not women!

"Actually, my sister and brother have been punishing Ozawa just because they hate him as Tai Er." Heh, heh.It turns out that you dare to commit a crime in front of them. "That's why it's better to be whole, it's healthier." Sister, you are mighty, and you dare to say such famous words.And you shouldn't tell me that, okay?I'm not your Ozawa's girlfriend!

I said with some embarrassment: "Sister, let's go, or the basketball game will start later."

"Yeah, let's go!"

******

In order not to attract Li Xin's attention, I deliberately sat with my sister in the crowd, "What kind of sports does my sister like? I can take my sister to watch it later."

"I... I only like eight kinds of sports." I couldn't help but jump in my right eye, eight, eight kinds of sports...

"Which eight kinds?" I bit the bullet and asked, don't be those eight kinds!

"Basketball, football, shot put, table tennis, tennis, running, high jump, swimming." Oh my God, did you strike me with a dull lightning?How dare you let such a coincidence happen? ! !

"Yes, is it?" I laughed dryly.

"What's wrong with you, Xiao Ye? You don't look very well." My sister looked at me worriedly.

"No, it's fine."

"It's fine. Look! The game has begun!"

I looked at the personnel of the two teams, and I was petrified immediately, Nima... The first match was actually Class [-] vs Class [-]...

Who should I cheer for?Li Xin is my younger brother, Class Nine is my class...God, do you dare to be more ruthless? !Oh yes, keep silent, yes, keep silent, silence is golden!

I looked at the team members... Nima!Why is Mao Xuqing in there? ! !So... ah, I found it!But... Boss, why are you sitting in the first row...

"Please, may I ask what your name is?" A boy came over, and I glanced at him, "Who are you?"

"Ah, you, hello... I, I'm Jian Ren from Class [-], Grade [-]." It's a "slut", right?

"I don't know." I replied lightly.

"No, it's okay, you don't know me, I... I like you, can you date me?"

Nani? ! !Brother, your head was kicked by a donkey, right? !Is labor and capital a man's favor?male! !Pure man! ! !

"This classmate..." My sister said with a smile.

"What are you doing?!" The man was annoyed.

"Xiao Ye is my younger brother's girlfriend. It seems that you are not kind to do this?" My sister was always smiling, but... I want to ask you, can you stop being angry with others?People are scared to pee by you!

"Yes... yes... no, I'm sorry... I'm bothering you, you guys... I, I, I... I'll go first." After the man stammered, he disappeared immediately.

"Xiaoye, that striker from class one...why do I feel a bit like you?" My sister asked in a timely manner.

"Ah? Well, that's because he's my younger brother...hehe..." Sister, you have really good eyesight.

"Tsk, what's the matter with that kid? He keeps looking around!" Looking around?No... are you looking for me?Cut, am I too self-indulgent?How is that possible? !

"Maybe you are looking for someone?" I laughed.

"Huh? Xiaoyeye why are you here? What a coincidence!" Nima... This voice will never be forgotten in the rest of my life—Bai Chenye!Why is he here again? ! !When I was like this!