The lost beauty

Lying on the bed alone, looking sideways at the dark night outside the window, I couldn't fall asleep.

Mo Yufeng opened the thick yellow notepad again, and it was filled with dense words——

I don't know how long I haven't been able to sleep well. I have been missing, missing my wife who died young, missing my youngest son, and more often I am missing my eldest son: Jin'er.

He is clearly so close to me, yet he is the one farthest from me. It seems that we can never go back.

I still remember that he was very clingy to me when he was a child, he was always looking for me at home, he would call my father and father, he would hold my hand and let me sleep with him at night, he likes to stretch out his hand and let me hug him and run around , he also won the first prize for painting in the kindergarten. He painted "My Dad"...

I can’t remember when Jin’er stopped calling me Dad, seeing me was like a mouse seeing a cat, he became more and more quiet in his words and deeds, more concerned about gains and losses, and cautious, he gradually avoided my sight .

I think the reason why Jin'er was afraid of me and hid from me was because of the beating ten years ago, he hated me because of that, and I don't blame him.

I remember that day was the Mid-Autumn Festival, but the company was busy with a lot of things, a fraud lawsuit that damaged the company's image was pending, the meeting of the board of directors, the cooperation contract with Hongda Company...all of them were tedious and cumbersome.

Lao Zhang and his wife went back to the country again. There are only two little guys at home.

I was busy until after nine o'clock in the evening, and finally drove home. On the way, I bought the children's favorite chocolate cake and bear biscuits, and I was going to make up for them.

However, I was dumbfounded when I got home. The two children are not there. They are still so young. Where will they go?

At that time, I felt that the sky was about to fall, and I ran out without even putting on my shoes, and I searched back and forth along the streets and alleys.

I have searched many places, their kindergarten, the KFC they usually go to, the playground... I have searched all over but I can't find it...

I was devastated at the time. As a man, I couldn't even look after a child. I felt like a failure and unworthy of being a father.

When I was in despair, I heard a circle of people around the intersection not far away, and there was a faint cry. I knew it was Jin'er's voice as soon as I heard it. I rushed over and found that it was Jin'er. I let go With a sigh of relief, he stepped forward and rubbed Jin'er into my arms, and kept saying, "Jin'er is not crying, dad is here, dad is here..."

But Jin'er kept crying, "Dad, my brother is gone, my brother is gone..."

Sure enough, I realized that Xiao Fei was not there after looking around, and I panicked again, "Jin'er, what are you talking about? Where is your brother? What do you mean missing? Huh?"

I questioned Jin'er loudly, feeling anxious, but Jin'er kept crying and crying, and told a rough story about their going out.

After hearing this, I was dumbfounded. According to what Jin’er said, Xiao Fei had been missing for two hours. I quickly called the police, and chased along the road for several streets with Jin’er in my arms, until I fell to the ground exhausted, and there was still no Xiao Fei. whereabouts.

There are countless hypotheses in my mind, Xiao Fei may be abducted by human traffickers, or may be taken in by kind people, looking at Jin'er beside him who can only cry, for some reason, the anger in my heart cannot be suppressed.

It was past twelve o'clock at night when I got home, when suddenly there was a storm, with lightning and thunder outside, and my mood became extremely irritable and angry.

Before I went out, I repeatedly emphasized that strangers are not allowed to open the door when they knock, and that they are not allowed to go out without the company of adults.

If it wasn't for Jin'er not listening to me and taking Xiao Fei out, Xiao Fei wouldn't have lost her. I put all the faults on Jin'er.

Jin'er was still crying non-stop, I scolded him not to cry and he still cried, I impatiently ripped off Jin'er's clothes, pulled out the belt and gave him a hard pump.

I'm angry, I'm angry that he doesn't look down on Xiao Fei, I'm angry that he ignored my words, I'm angry that he didn't take good care of his younger brother...

I was very angry at that time, and my heart became ruthless. Seeing that Jin'er was beaten bloodstained and still didn't let go, I heard Jin'er crying and calling me "Dad, Dad..."

I was even more angry and irritable. I wanted him to shut up, but I scolded him angrily: "Shut up! You are not allowed to call me daddy, I don't have a son like you!"

But Jin'er still called me, he rolled on the ground, begging me to forgive, why was I so cold-blooded at that time, I didn't allow him to call me daddy, I didn't allow him to beg for mercy, and I said harshly: "If you call me daddy again, I'll beat you!" kill you!"

Unexpectedly, Jin'er ignored my vicious belt and watched me crawl. He hugged my thigh.

Jin'er's head was hit with a bloody hole, and she passed out all of a sudden. My heartbeat was half a beat slow at that time, so I hurriedly threw the belt to see Jin'er.

Jin'er's head was bleeding all the time, and I couldn't stop it no matter what, I was very scared at the time, I thought I had killed Jin'er with my own hands, and I felt remorse and wanted to die.

I carried Jin'er to the hospital. The doctor in the hospital said that the child was very weak and pushed Jin'er into the operating room without saying a word.

That night I waited anxiously in front of the operating room, blaming myself and regretting, but I couldn’t do anything. I silently prayed and begged God to bless Jin’er, and finally God paid off. child safety news.

Early the next morning, I got up early and rushed to the police station to inquire about Xiao Fei, but the result was not optimistic. The street camera records did not find any news about Xiao Fei.

I bought breakfast and hurried back to the hospital. I sat in front of Jin'er's bed and waited for Jin'er to wake up.

Looking back on what happened in the past two days, looking at the lifeless Jin'er on the hospital bed, my heart throbbed with pain. It was my negligence that caused me to not take good care of the two children, and it was because I was busy with work that I ignored them. took them.

I caressed Jin'er's arm that was undergoing infusion, and there were still a few purple belt marks across it. What did I do? I poured all the anger of last night on Jin'er, I'm such a complete jerk!

It was almost noon when Jin'er woke up, and he trembled with fright when he saw me. I thought he was frightened, so I reached out to hug him and comfort him, but his reaction was even stronger. He kept looking at the bedside to hide, pulled the infusion line and almost broke the infusion bottle, and his eyes were full of defense and fear for me.

Seeing Jin'er's reaction, my heart sank like a battered ship. I knew I had hurt this child, and he hated and feared me because of it, but I was at a loss.

I turned around and went out to look for a doctor. I told the doctor about Jin'er's situation. The doctor told me that the child was probably stimulated. He suggested that I should not go near Jin'er these days. The doctor said that this was also for the sake of Jin'er's recovery.

I followed the doctor's advice, handed Jin'er to Zhang and his wife, and then ran around the company's police station. Xiao Fei almost disappeared without any clues.

I had to try to accept the fact that Xiaofei was lost, and with Jin'er, I lived in a muddle every day, and every time I thought about it, I would get a headache and crack.

Several times, I couldn't help but go to the hospital to secretly watch Jin'er, I found that Jin'er became much quieter, he was not noisy, and the little girl next door teased him to talk to him occasionally, but he turned a blind eye and did not respond.

He always sat quietly on the bed in a daze, and sometimes looked out the door.

I saw it, but I didn't dare to approach him, because I was afraid that he would be in a bad mood and delay his recovery.

About half a month later, Zhang Bo and his wife returned to their hometown that day, and I went home early to go to the hospital to see Jin'er.

Unexpectedly, I saw Jin'er at the door of the house, and he ran out of the hospital in his sick clothes.

I was a little angry at the time. This child was too worrying, and he ran around when he was sick.

I took a few steps forward, and Jin'er woke up quickly, seeing that I was still terrified.

He walked directly in front of me and knelt down with a plop, and I was taken aback by his sudden move.

Jin'er called me tremblingly, and I never thought that Jin'er would call me "Mr."

Seeing Jin'er kneeling in front of me so humbly, he kept begging me not to drive him away, not to send him to the orphanage, Jin'er's tears tore my heart, I don't know what to say to him, I Now as soon as I got close to him, he flinched, and I became irritable, so I simply ignored him, opened the door and walked into the house.

I went back to the room, turned on the shower, and let the cold water drench my whole body. The image of Jin’er just now flashed in front of my eyes. He called me "Sir", and he begged me on his knees. He was tearing my heart hard. Let me suffocate with pain.

After I got dressed, I heard the sound of things being broken downstairs. I thought it must be Jin'er, and was afraid that he would hurt me, so I hurried downstairs to check.

I saw Jin'er in the kitchen, he overturned a pot of tea, it was still steaming, I was frightened, twisted Jin'er up and walked to my room.

Jin'er still called me Mr., and I was so hurt by him. I was thinking that he was angry, and he was blaming me for being a father.

I took out a harmless wooden ruler, I just wanted to scare him, and wanted Jin'er to call me Dad like before.

I've already lost Xiao Fei, and I don't want Jin'er to stay away from me.