I will die the day I want to die

Today's sunshine swept away the haze of the previous days, and emerged, taking photos of the flowers and plants I raised on the balcony.

I drew a circle on the newly purchased calendar on the coffee table, and that circle shows today’s winter solstice. I thought about how the sun is so comfortable, but it’s the shortest day in the whole year, what a pity.

Sure enough, good things are always short-lived?

But it should be enough to have it.

Zhou Wanxing always runs to my house these days, bringing flowers, snacks, medicines and other gifts, sitting for an entire afternoon, and often persuades me that there is a nursing home in the new district next door with very good facilities, a very good environment, and the price is not bad , he will help me out if it is more expensive.

That's fine too.

I held a blank notebook in my hand, my head was as blank as the notebook, I drew some random lines on the notebook with a pen, and remembered what Xie Ji said in the morning.

"If you're not feeling well, stay at home and take a good rest, don't hang around outside all day long." In one sentence, he had to run to my house, and his attitude was very bad - probably because his new assistant said that I suddenly fainted while inspecting the mall yesterday It was only on a whim that I cared about me.

I dare not laugh at him in his face, but I know how to perfuse him.

I'm not feeling well, I've been feeling sick for a long time, he never cared, and of course he doesn't need to care now.

He was the one who kept getting out of position, it was ridiculous that he would rather pretend not to know.

I have let him go for so long, and I am already very tired. Presumably he does not care how much I let him in the second half of my life. After all, I have let him so much in the first half of my life.

On the blank book, I drew a pot of grass, a flower pot drawn with black ink pen, and the flower pot was full of grass.

I am too lazy to paint flowers, too lazy to let the grass set off the flowers, too lazy to let the grass wait for the flowers.

Wait until when?It's better not to have it.

The sun is so nice today.

"Senior, I brought you fresh forget-me-nots!" Zhou Wanxing's voice sounded from downstairs, I looked at him from the balcony railing, he was looking up at me, his smiling face against the sunshine today too brilliant.

The bright and elegant little blue flower was embraced by him, looking lively and lovely.

"Bring me a comic book!" I yelled at him.

He smiled and said, "No!"

I stood up and lay down on the railing and glared at him, "Then what are you talking about!"

"...Oh, the senior is too much." He muttered loudly.

I couldn't help laughing out loud, and waved to him, "Come up quickly, and make you tea."

Since he often came to be a guest, I have bought a lot of expensive tea to keep at home. Xie Ji once saw him and said with disdain: "It's so poor to buy vegetables, and it's worth spending money to support other men. "

I know that he can't spit out ivory, and I was timid and cowardly, so I simply nodded, but the nodding also made him unhappy, and I kicked the coffee table over.Let him kick it, anyway, he bought it.

Zhou Wanxing treated me very well. I haven't felt the warmth of the world since many years ago. What's the point of buying him expensive tea?If it wasn't that I was still waiting for you to love me, I would be willing to let him die now.

There is no wish to die or not, anyway, there is no point in not dying, but I am still waiting for you, it sounds ridiculous, I know it, I know it...why should I wait?

...No matter what the outcome, I will end badly, won't I?

I'm just afraid... I'm afraid that if you like me, I'm no longer here, what will you do?

You have such a bad temper, and you don’t know how to coax others. If I die, who will make you like me?

…ha.

When Zhou Wanxing entered the room, the tea I made was already served on the coffee table. The corner of the coffee table was missing, and I wrapped it with tape several times.

Zhou Wanxing put the flowers into the vase with ease, then took out a gift from his pocket and stuffed it into my hand with a smile, "Senior, this is the bracelet I specially went to the temple to ask for."

I looked down at the jade bracelet stuffed into my hand, and heard the sound of Zhou Wanxing blowing tea, my heart suddenly ached. Every jade on the bracelet was polished very smooth, with clear texture, cloud The pattern is like a ribbon, entangled with each other.

I looked up and smiled at him, "What are you asking for?"

He took a sip of tea, relaxed contentedly, and said in a gentle voice, "Naturally, I wish you a safe and happy life."

——Yun Shu, I wish you a safe and happy life.

I froze in place, remembering the words Xie Ming left for me, how long can I remember?How long can you be safe and happy?

Xie Ji, Xie Ji, how long do you want me to wait?

How long can I wait for you?