bucket list

Jian Changche rushed out of the small restaurant, and after a few quick steps, he started to run wildly. The humid and cool air in the suburbs of the mountains kept piercing into his lungs, causing tingling pain.It wasn't until he ran away from the only main street in the town and found himself at the edge of a fallow farmland that Jian Changche finally slowed down, panting with his hands on his knees.

If I knew it, I shouldn't have followed him back, he thought.

When Zong Chi first proposed the idea of ​​letting him go home together, he knew that something was wrong and he should refuse.But I don't know which strings in my brain are wrong, I actually listened to his ghost plan, and I did so long of psychological construction silently, I didn't sleep well last night.

He didn't know what to say when he met his elders, and how to behave when he met Zong Chi's friends.It's one thing to deal with patients and their families, it's quite another to deal with your boyfriend's family.He had never had any experience, he didn't know where to start, he was almost dying of anxiety, Zong Chi still had an annoying look of not helping at all, and even dared to say that he was with him because he felt sorry for him.

"Ah! I'm so mad!" Jian Changche yelled, startling a few crows from the treetops to "crawl".

If you know that he is afraid of intimacy, don't be so clingy!He kicked away the pebbles on the side of the road, knowing that he is afraid of intimacy, so don't press so tightly.

He knew he shouldn't have come back, and he regretted it.

Jian Changche kicked all the big and small square and round stones on the side of the road to vent his anger, and then he soon began to feel depressed—Zong Chi looked very hurt in the end, could it be true that what he said? too heavy?

But isn't he right?At first, under the chemical action of hormones, they rolled the sheets inexplicably, but the two soon lost contact because of the dispute.If it wasn't for the unfortunate death of Zong Chi's grandma, or because Zong Chi tried to redeem himself by fulfilling other people's last wishes because he didn't want to wait for his relatives, the bond between the two would have ended there.

He really couldn't figure out why Zong Chi had any reason to be with him?He was neither rich, nor handsome, nor talented, nor even dull in character.He can't talk, express, or handle emotions—other people's or his own.From childhood to adulthood, he only knew that exposing sensitivity and fragility would become a handle and a flaw, and he could only survive if he swallowed blood from his teeth.

After thinking about it, Zong Chi left the luxury apartment and came to the dilapidated tube building just because of loneliness, because of the long night, because there was no other better choice, absolutely not, definitely not because of him.

Jian Changche squatted down in frustration—why did this happen? Although it was not the first time he fell in love, he found that he was facing some kind of distress that he experienced for the first time in his life.

He raised his head and looked around, and found that he didn't know where he was now, the signal of the mobile phone was weak, and the blank page was loaded for half a day, and the battery simply turned off.He stared blankly at the road he ran, it was empty, without Zong Chi, not even a stray dog.

Knowing that he is afraid of intimacy, push harder.

The days are short in winter, and Jian Changche sits on the edge of the field until he finishes smoking the half pack of cigarettes he brought, and the sun has already turned orange-red.He thought about a lot of things indiscriminately while smoking a cigarette, and in the end his mind went blank, and he didn't think about anything.At this point Zong Chi should have returned home to prepare for the dinner party, so Jian Changche reluctantly walked back the same way.His mind was muddled, and he planned to find a place to charge the battery, and then follow the map to go back to the hotel. Before Zong Chi finished his meal, he packed up and went for a walk. The rest... Let's talk about it when we get home.

Of course, if Zong Chi still goes to his house.

With great difficulty, Jian Changche caught a local man on the side of the road, asked him the way back to the hotel, and walked around with his pockets and shoulders shrugged.He walked through the hotel lobby, stood in the elevator with his arms folded, looked at the gloomy face reflected on the smooth mirror, and stared at himself in the mirror like an enemy.

The lights on the ninth floor came on, and as soon as the elevator doors opened, he met Zong Chi's stunned face.

"Where the hell did you go!"

Before Jian Changche could react, Zong Chi had already grabbed his arm and pulled him out, shouting angrily, "Why don't you answer the phone!"

"My phone is out of battery." Jian Changche said blankly.

Zong Chi's eyeballs were about to fall out of their sockets, Jian Changche asked, "What's wrong?"

"Damn it, I'll throw your broken phone away sooner or later!" Zong Chi pinched his arm, roaring like a irritable and sleepy lion in the corridor: "Do you know how long I've been looking for you! Don't you know?" Know what you are doing so far! One afternoon, four hours, where did you go!"

"I... didn't do anything," Jian Changche was stunned by his yelling, "I just smoked..."

Zong Chi patted him on the back of the neck and pulled him roughly closer, knocking the bridge of his nose against his chin and sniffing him, it was full of smoke.Zong Chi said frantically, "You can't smoke anywhere, why didn't you answer the phone for a few hours!"

Jian Chang's eardrums were buzzing with his roar, and he also raised the volume: "Did the mother tell you that the battery is out!"

Zong Chi pushed him to the wall of the corridor, groped him messily, finally took out his cell phone from his pocket, and strode towards the window without looking at it.

Jian Changche's clothes were messed up by him, and seeing something was wrong, he hurriedly said, "What are you doing!"

Zong Chi had already opened the window, raised his arms, and slammed the phone out. Jian Changche watched in shock as the parabola turned into a crisp sound from afar.

"Zong Chi! You are fucking sick!" He grabbed Zong Chi by the collar, "Why are you throwing my phone away!"

Zong Chi didn't resist, just let him hold him back, raised his chin slightly and looked at him indifferently, with a face full of "what if I throw you away".The hotel cleaning aunt at the end of the corridor poked her head out of the tool room and looked at this end in surprise.

The two were in a stalemate for a while, Jian Changche sighed, let go of his fingers, and turned his head wearily.As soon as he took half a step, Zong Chi immediately asked, "Where are you going?"

"Go back to the room." Jian Changche said, "Why are you following me?"

"Don't worry about me, I'll go back to my room too."

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"Not going." Zong Chi said.

"Stop making trouble," Jian Changche frowned, "You also threw away your mobile phone, and you also made a fuss, so go home and eat, it's already time."

"I, no, I'm going." Zong Chi said slowly.

"Then what are you going to do?" Jian Changche said irritably, "You want to beat me up? Okay, you can beat me up. I'll just stand here and not fight back."

"Why should I beat you? I like you." Zong Chi said calmly.

As soon as these words came out, Jian Changche fell silent.He opened his mouth slightly and stared at Zong Chi, his expression quickly changed from unbelievable to bewildered, with a silly look on his face, as if Zong Chi had been dropped here by aliens just now.

Jian Changche blinked his eyes, but still couldn't close his mouth.

After thinking about it, Zong Chi said, "Forget it, I still have to go to the dinner party. Everyone is here, so I can't go, I want to die." He turned around, walked to the elevator and pressed the down button, raised his head slightly to observe the floor His behavior was so normal that Jian Changche almost mistakenly thought that he had misheard or was dreaming.

"Ding!", the elevator door opened, and Zong Chi was about to step in when he suddenly paused for a second.He turned his face and couldn't help laughing: "Look at how stupid you are."

Jian Changche was finally lifted from petrification, and chased after him cursingly: "You fucking..."

But Zong Chi had already stepped into the slowly closing elevator door. Jian Changche ran over and was about to knock on the door to vent his anger when the elevator door suddenly opened again.

Jian Changche stopped the car suddenly, with a vigilant expression on his face.

Zong Chi pressed the door open button with one hand, leaned out of the elevator, and watched as he got closer.He tilted his head slightly, lightly pecked the corner of Jian Changche's mouth, then stepped back politely, and let go of his fingers. "Let's go, bye." His face disappeared behind the completely closed elevator door, and the mirror reflected Jian Changche's own face again—as Zong Chi said, with a silly look on his face.

He stood there for a full 5 minutes in a daze, then suddenly raised his feet and ran quickly towards the stairs.He jumped down three steps in one step, ran nine floors in one breath, and rushed to the ground floor panting.He ran out of the brightly lit hall, only to find that Zong Chi hadn't left at all, and was waiting at the door.

"Why so slow," the man said with a wry smile on his face, "I've been waiting for a long time, and I still think that if you really don't accompany me to go back to dinner, I will have to go by myself, but I'm scared."

"I'll kill you, Zong Chi." Jian Changche gritted his teeth.

"It's my honor to die at your hands," Zong Chi said with a smile, "Pleasureisallmine."

He held out his hand: "Let's go."