bucket list

Zong Chi jumped into the driver's seat, feeling anxious all the way. He was afraid that he would not be able to get to the hospital as soon as possible, and even more afraid of what he would face when he got to the hospital. He was so frightened that his hands and feet were cold.His mind was numb, and there was a flurry of gold stars dancing in front of his eyes, so he couldn't stop panting shortly, and his heart beat faster and faster.He felt like he was back when he was a child—once his parents quarreled or when he was sick, he only knew to ask some gods, Buddhas, and ghosts for help and reassurance—I swear I will behave well, I swear I will Will definitely be a good boy.

Don't let grandma have an accident, I promise anything.

It's a pity that these prayers were not answered when I was a child, and it is even more impossible to achieve any results when I grow up. When Zong Chi rushed to Xie Yinghuai's ward, the emergency doctors and nurses were already packing up the equipment, and even the ventilator was stopped.

Impossible, impossible.

He had stomach cramps, felt sick, or was about to pass out.

But he didn't, he didn't even move, he didn't blink.The doctor on duty looked up and saw him, took off his mask and said, "I'm sorry, the man has already passed away, there is no pain, and the time of death is 12:03."

Without pain, how could there be no pain, even he felt the pain.

Zong Chi stared at him with wide eyes, unable to say a word, the doctor put on his mask again and stepped aside.Zong Chi strode stiffly to the side of the bed. The white cloth had already covered him, covering a petite body underneath.It was a scene that he had never dreamed of in his worst, worst nightmare.

When grandpa suddenly died of a critical illness, he happened to be abroad. Even if he rushed to the airport to buy a ticket and flew back overnight, he still couldn't see grandpa for the last time.When he arrived, what he saw was already a wax figure-like remains wrapped in flowers in the funeral parlor.

But this time, even though he was by his side, he still couldn't do anything, he still couldn't do anything.

Zong Chi stretched out his finger cautiously, and asked softly, "I can, can I...?"

"Okay." The nurse stretched out her hands and helped him lift the heavy white cloth.

Silver hair, serene forehead, deep-set eyes and tightly closed lips... Every inch the white cloth was removed, an inch of Zong Chi's skin was peeled off. He couldn't believe it, how could he believe it?The grandma in front of him was no different from the one he saw yesterday afternoon. Why was there no life in this body in an instant.

This is wrong, this is weird, this...

The white cloth was covered again, and two nurses pushed the stretcher away one after the other. One of them turned around and told him: "It's too late tonight, please call and make an appointment with the funeral home tomorrow, and we will send it to you." Issue a death certificate."

Zong Chi shook his head, not knowing whether he was rejecting the proposal or trying to deny the fact.

"Do you need to notify other family members? I want to make a call for you... Who can I call to accompany you?" the nurse asked again.

Zong Chi shook his head again - no one, no one else.

The nurse didn't say anything else. They seemed to be used to such scenes. Rather, most of the relatives would hold the stroller in tears and refuse to leave. Such a shocked and almost calm reaction was much easier to deal with.

Finally, everyone left.

Zong Chi stood in this 800 yuan a day private ward, looking around dully.There was still grandma's tea cup on the table, and beside it was the tea that grandpa used to drink that he brought a few days ago.There are fresh flowers on the window sill, grandma's knitted sweater on the chair at the end of the bed, and a wheelchair in the corner that they used when they went out to bask in the sun.

Zong Chi silently turned around and closed the door, then turned off the light, and slowly sat on the ground along the base of the wall.

He snorted inexplicably, hugged his legs, and buried his face between his knees.

He didn't want to go home, he didn't want to go back to the office, he didn't even want to get out of this ward.He hoped that the sky in the hospital would never have to be bright, and he felt that tomorrow would never have to come.Grandma is gone, he doesn't want to talk to anyone in the world anymore, he doesn't want to call a funeral home to make an appointment, he doesn't want to issue a death certificate, he wants the world to turn back and time to go backwards.He hoped that the world would be destroyed and all human beings would be complete, including himself.

Zong Chi thought a lot in a mess, but he didn't seem to think about anything. He just curled up like this, sitting in the corner of the hospital ward with his chin resting on his knees, looking expressionlessly at the white sheets and Wei Wei under the moonlight. Messy bedding.

Then he started to hallucinate,

He hallucinated the sound of hurried footsteps coming from the silent hospital corridor at midnight, as if someone was running desperately in disregard of the rules of silence.

In the middle of the night, where would there be such a patient, unless it was a zombie or a ghost, Zong Chi thought it was a bit funny-could it be possible that among so many wishes, the only wish to let human beings destroy the world come true?

But the auditory hallucinations became louder and more real.With a loud "bang!", the door of the ward was pushed open vigorously, and bounced off the wall because of excessive force.The light in the corridor suddenly took advantage of the void, and a figure stood at the door, holding the door frame with one hand and supporting the door panel with the other.

Zong Chi was stunned - Jian Changche's facial features were hidden in the shadow of the backlight, he stood at the door for a moment, panting while his chest heaved violently.

The pale light reflected Zong Chi's bewildered face - he hadn't figured out how to face anyone yet.

But Jian Changche didn't give him time to hesitate, and strode in.

The light of the corridor filtered in from the edge of his silhouette, tearing apart nothingness and chaos.Zong Chi straightened his back involuntarily, and even leaned back a little timidly. After all, at this moment, the air around him was so fragile that it would shatter at the touch, and the flesh and blood that had been peeled off his skin hurt at the touch.

Jian Changche's shoulders slumped, he threw his backpack on the ground, walked up to Zong Chi and squatted down.He opened his arms, hugged him unreasonably, and said in a deep voice, "I rushed over when I heard it."

He was so strong that Zong Chi's shoulders were strangled so badly.

What was he doing here, Zong Chi thought blankly, this didn't seem like something he would do - last time the little girl passed away, Jian Changche didn't go to comfort the child's parents, but why did he rush here overnight?He raised his head slowly, trying to make a sound from deep in his throat, Jian Changche realized this, let go of his arms and lowered his head slightly to look at him.

"Grandma is dead."

After Zong Chi finished speaking these four words, he couldn't pronounce another syllable. He opened his mouth halfway, his handsome face was completely blank.

"I know, I'm sorry." Jian Changche said.

Zong Chi closed his mouth slowly, swallowed unconsciously, and his heart that had sunk into hell started beating again, pumping hot magma into the arteries, boiling and burning through all limbs and bones.

The hot magma went up all the way, like a volcanic eruption. The huge pressure in the earth's core finally found a crack in the earth's crust, and all rushed out immediately.

Magma flowed out from his eye sockets, turning into blood and tears.It's just that how arrogant the scarlet bursting liquid was in the body, the process of dying down was as hasty as it was.The moment it came into contact with the air, the magma condensed into warm water vapor and turned into cold, salty sea water, swallowing his boundless sadness and loneliness.

Now in his story, he is really the only one.

Zong Chi never knew he had so many tears, he was a sad child tonight.