bucket list

For the next month, Jian Changche never spoke a word to him again.

Because of Xie Yinghuai's relationship, it is inevitable for the two to meet each other. In fact, before meeting Jian Changche, Zong Chi had met him countless times, but at that time, the other party was just a background board and tool person in his eyes, so Never noticed it either.However, it's different now, in wards, corridors, elevators, halls, parking lots, and even men's toilets, Zong Chi felt that no matter where he went, he would bump into Jian Changche.

Then he could feel that the other party was also trying to avoid him.

Sometimes he stayed in the granny's ward for several hours without seeing Jian Changche - the infusion or examination was done before he came, and when the tube was extubated, he was replaced by another nurse.The other party's blatant coldness and indifference to him made the existence of it all feel more intense and unbearable at first.Then this kind of discomfort gradually deepened and became a kind of inertial torture, like stomach pain for years, because it happened all the time, it seemed insignificant.

As time passed, even Xie Yinghuai became a little strange: "Is Cheche busy recently?"

Zong Chi said vaguely, "Probably."

"Oh," Xie Yinghuai didn't say much, stared out the window for a while, then suddenly said: "Maybe it's really busy, there have been a lot of patients on this floor recently. It seems that a child lives in next door. Cancer at an early age."

"Oh." Zong Chi was a little absent-minded.

"In comparison, I'm not bad. At least I've lived at such an age. I've experienced everything I should have experienced. The best and worst days were spent with your grandfather."

"Don't talk about grandma like that, you still have a lot of days, I'll be with you." Zong Chi raised his head, his tone not very happy.

"However, Cheche was scolded by the head nurse that day."

Zong Chi was a little surprised: "Why?"

"It seems... because he secretly brought some cosmetics to that girl."

"Ah? What?" Zong Chi asked in amazement.

Xie Yinghuai smiled: "It seems that some classmates came to see her. Maybe there are boys she likes. I don't know. Anyway, the girl asked Cheche to smuggle cosmetics and wigs for her, but the girl's parents found out. Yes, when I found out, the lipstick marks on her mouth hadn’t been wiped clean. The other’s parents seemed to be quite traditional and strict. The little girl had never put on makeup, so she probably suffocated when she was hospitalized, so I wanted to find something Let's play."

Zong Chi didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Although the parents didn't pursue anything, after all, the child was pitiful enough in the hospital, but the head nurse still taught him a lesson."

Zong Chi was thoughtful after listening, feeling faintly that he had caught some connection.

One day, he happened to pass by the next ward, and deliberately glanced into the room, but unexpectedly met the girl on the bed.The other party smiled generously, Zong Chi couldn't pretend not to see, and greeted her.

"Hi handsome!"

Zong Chi couldn't laugh or cry: "Hello." He pointed to the next door and said, "Neighbor, say hello to you."

"What kind of fairy hospital is this? There are so many handsome guys." The girl looked no more than junior high school age, her eyes were huge because of her thinness, but her mental state seemed to be pretty good.

Zong Chi thought that the girl had cancer, but apart from her shaved bald head, she couldn't tell from her cheerful appearance.

"You're cute too." Zong Chi said politely.

The girl pursed her lips and shrugged: "No way, the hair is gone, and there are no eyebrows, and the lips have no color."

"Why no eyebrows?" Zong Chi wondered, "Don't you have eyebrows?"

"Oh, you don't understand, it means that the eyebrows are very light." She said with a smile, "Aren't all of you straight men like this, you can only tell that there is no lipstick on the painting, and you think it is plain without lipstick."

Zong Chi thought to himself - I am not a straight man.

"It's so annoying," the girl touched the top of her hairy head. "Last time, I managed to get some cosmetics. I wanted to take a nice selfie, but my hands are too disabled."

Zong Chi's eyes lit up, and he asked knowingly, "Did you buy the cosmetics yourself?"

"How is it possible, I asked another handsome guy to help." She blinked, and then a little frustrated: "But it seems that he was scolded, next time give him a chocolate to apologize."

"I haven't been in a relationship yet." The girl was immersed in her own world, and sighed further.

Zong Chi said seriously, "It's a pity."

"What a pity?" the girl asked inexplicably.

"It's a pity that you are too young for me."

The girl was stunned for a moment, then burst out laughing, and Zong Chi also laughed in a rare way.He waved his hand: "I'm leaving, I'll come back when you grow up."

The girl shouted from a distance behind: "Goodbye handsome guy, I'll wait for you!"

Although it was just a joke, Zong Chi never expected that this brief encounter would turn into a farewell so quickly.Only two days later, the girl was pushed into the operating room and never came out alive.When grandma told him about this in a low tone, Zong Chi was so shocked that he couldn't even make a decent response, so he subconsciously stood up and walked to the next door.

Before he could fully walk out the door, he saw the couple on the bench in the corridor hugging a pink gauze dress and weeping in their arms—the kind of grief of losing a child that one would never forget once heard, that kind of loss of a loved one You can't let go of your collapse once you've seen it.

It was only at this moment that Zong Chi really realized that in the environment of the hospital, every time they passed by by chance, it might be the last time they saw each other.

"It's so pitiful, only 14 years old." Two intern nurses passing by Zong Chi whispered.

"The little sister said that she had a wish before she died. If she died, she hoped to be buried with makeup, a wig, and a beautiful new dress. Her mother just bought her a new dress, and she is going to wait for her to come out after the operation is successful. Then give her a surprise."

Zong Chi's heart trembled, he looked up and passed the couple to see Jian Changche at the end of the corridor - he was standing in the shadow of the corner, looking at the crying couple, restraining himself not to go forward, not even to make a sound , The whole person solidified into a piece of steel.

Jian Changche looked at the young couple, Zong Chi looked at him.

Then Jian Changche raised his legs and moved, Zong Chi subconsciously dodged for a while, but luckily the other party turned in the opposite direction.Zong Chi quickly caught up with him to see what he was doing, but found that Jian Changche had just calmly returned to his original work.

If Jian Changche wanted to establish a good relationship with those terminally ill patients because of his will, there was absolutely no need to do anything for this kind of underage child, and the parents would not thank him for anything.There were many loopholes in my previous guesses, Zong Chi was not unaware of it at this time.But no matter what, it is now difficult for him to ask the other party the truth behind that house book. He is a little annoyed and doesn't know what to do.It's embarrassing to say more, it seems that this is the only way to go.

That's it, the weather is getting cooler.

Until eleven o'clock one night, when Zong Chi stood alone in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows of his office, looking at the dimly lit city below, Jian Changche's voice rang in his ears again.

"Your story is the saddest, because there is only one character in your story, and that is yourself."

Zong Chi knew that those words hit his true loneliness.

He subconsciously knew that he was really going to lose his grandma this time, even if it wasn't because of illness, it would be because of time.It was not a momentary execution but a long, dull process, as if the end of an era is almost always accompanied by a whimper rather than a bang.

If his father is gone, grandpa is gone, and grandma is going to leave him, I wonder if the last concretization of his "old humanity" will disappear, and all the people in this world who can see the real him will disappear. exist.A part of him will die along with these people, leaving only the utilitarian, indifferent, jealous, always angry him.

He was angry, angry and then lonely.

The sudden ringing of the phone interrupted his train of thought, and Zong Chi looked away from the street lamp.

"Excuse me, is this Mr. Zong?" asked the other side.

"What's the matter, it's late..."

"This is the city hospital." The other party said.

Zong Chi held his breath, like an electric shock, the hairs on his body stood on end, and his back felt cold.

It's over, it's over, he's been having an ominous premonition tonight.

His feet are still standing on the 29th floor, but his heart has already fallen into the abyss at an accelerated rate.His heart smashed into the center of the earth and was incinerated by the magma, turning into a glaring pool of scarlet slime.

"Ms. Xie Yinghuai..." the person on the other end of the phone said, "Your grandma is dying soon."