sunk into the earth

After returning to the ward, Zhang Chen found that Cheng Sheng was lying on the window looking at the street scene, leaving only his lonely back, looking from the door, it looked like a whole body of bones dangling in the hospital gown.

Hearing the opening of the door, Cheng Sheng immediately turned his head. His lonely face just now turned into a smile. He walked to his hospital bed and sat down in two or three steps, and stretched out his hand to beckon Zhang Chen to come across to him.

There was still some cold outside on the jacket, so Zhang Chen took off the jacket and hung it on the stool, walked to Cheng Sheng, and asked him, "What's wrong?"

Cheng Sheng grabbed the hands in front of him, touched the cocoon on it, pulled it back and forth in the air, and said relaxedly after playing enough: "I called my mother, you and her come to the hospital in shifts Well, don’t you guys have to rehearse and perform on weekends? Don’t come to the hospital on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, my mother said that she will come to the hospital for these three days.”

Zhang Chen was deceived by his relaxed tone, and refused straight away: "No, you can't get up in the morning by yourself, and your mother, an elderly woman, doesn't have the energy to take care of you."

Hearing this, Cheng Sheng tightened his hands again, not to be discouraged, while shaking their hands, he raised his head and begged him: "Aren't there still nurses? Those who are more serious than me in the fully enclosed ward Don't you get dragged up by the nurses one by one every day? What are you worried about in the hospital? There will be no accidents, besides, my mother can't wait to stay with me 24 hours a day. If you agree to change shifts with her, she will have fun."

When he said this, Cheng Sheng's tone was relaxed, his eyes were full of smiles, but his face was extremely pale, his lips were dry, and what he said seemed to be acting.Zhang Chen lowered his head and observed his energetic appearance, he had already guessed what this man was planning, raised his hand to straighten his hair, and said, "But I can help you share some of the company's expenses here. If I leave, who will handle the work and deliver the news for you?"

Cheng Sheng clicked his tongue, broke away with one hand, slapped Zhang Chen's hand, and said dissatisfied: "Worry about such a small matter? Don't look down on my mother. My mother has a better brain than me. They don't have her in school recently." What's the matter, she is afraid that her brain will get rusty, so she can't wait to come to me and find something new to do."

Zhang Chen didn't believe it, so he said "no" and stretched out his hand to gather a bunch of hair on his hair to play with.

Cheng Sheng shook his head, and took the initiative to send the hair to Zhang Chen, "You don't worry about my mother, who do you worry about?"

Zhang Chen said: "I only worry about myself."

"Where's the doctor?"

Zhang Chen said: "The doctor can barely be trusted."

Cheng Sheng asked again, "What about me?"

"You can not."

Cheng Sheng gave a "tsk" and said forcefully, "Then I can't cure it, and you don't even believe me."

Just after finishing speaking, the door of the ward rang as Cheng Sheng expected, and an elderly woman came in, her neck was tightly covered by a cashmere scarf, and only a slightly tired face was exposed.She pulled a suitcase in her hand, brand new, more expensive than all Cheng Sheng's clothes combined in recent years, and she also carried a stainless steel thermos bucket in her hand, which probably contained home-cooked soup .

Cheng Shengma's perception of Zhang Chen was complicated, and she was no longer as indifferent as she used to be, but she was still unable to take the initiative. After entering the door, she nodded to Zhang Chen, expressing a proper greeting, and would not have any other communication with him. He focused on his son.

Seeing Cheng Sheng's mother unexpectedly appearing in the ward with a suitcase, Zhang Chen glanced at Cheng Sheng warningly, but found that he did not avoid his gaze, but was justifiable, holding his head up and laughing at him, even pretending to ask The mother who squatted on the ground to pack her luggage when she first came in shouted: "Mom, Zhang Chen doesn't want to work with me anymore, so you can help him a few days a week."

Hearing this, she stopped what she was doing, looked back at Zhang Chen from bottom to top, but quickly turned to block her son's unfilial words just now: "You are my son, how can you say that mother takes care of you for others? ?”

"You're picking on me again. I've been like this since I was a child? I can't speak." Cheng Sheng got off the bed and squatted next to the suitcase to help his mother tidy it up.

Inside are basically the daily necessities brought by my mother who planned to stay in the hospital, except for a few big-name packaging bags piled up on the first floor. Cheng Sheng took a look and thought that these were a change of clothes brought by her mother, so she didn't bother to take them apart. look.

Zhang Chen saw the figure of the mother and son packing their luggage slowly, squatted down with them, and said next to Cheng Sheng: "The doctor said that according to your current situation, you will reach the discharge standard in half a month, but no matter how long it takes Some things I wouldn't let you mess around like this."

This was finally agreed, Cheng Sheng stopped his movements, turned his head to look at Zhang Chen, and assured him firmly: "I will treat him well, my mother is here with me, you don't have to worry."

Zhang Chen knew that he was trying to talk nonsense, but he couldn't compete with a patient who could beat the other. In the end, he only kept a precaution and called Cheng Sheng's mother outside the ward while Cheng Sheng was going to the bathroom. She left her mobile phone number, and talked about her son's condition to the woman of the elders in a business-like manner: "The time before the doctor's rounds every morning is when his depression is at its worst, and he can't move his body. If you can't help him If you touch him, you must call a nurse to help him. If you feel that he is showing signs of self-harm, you must inform the nurse as soon as possible. When he self-harms, he does not have any rational consciousness. Call the nurse and doctor to stop."

Cheng Sheng's mother remained silent, and waited for Zhang Chen to explain everything before she opened her mouth slowly, but just after she said "Xiao Zhang", her throat seemed to be blocked, and she couldn't continue talking no matter what.

They stood in front of the window at the end of the corridor, with Zhang Chen's back facing the window, just in time to see Cheng Sheng's mother's expression in his eyes. She had a lot of gray hair overnight, which was mixed with the original black hair. , the loose eyelids drooped, and the originally bright eyeballs also dimmed, looking at everything as if they were out of focus.

Cheng Sheng's mother's stagnant expression made Zhang Chen think of another woman. He thought he was hallucinating, and there was a brief second of sadness, but this long-suffering sadness was quickly suppressed by reason, Zhang Chen Taking his eyes away from her face, he finally said to her, "Call me anytime Cheng Sheng needs anything, and I'll turn it on 24 hours a day."

Zhang Chen went back to the recording studio, intending to rehearse the two songs for next Saturday's performance, and record a new version of the song to find his feeling.

Lao Liu brought Qiyuan to the door early and waited for him. Qiyuan looked haggard, without makeup or perfume, wrapped in a pure black coat. Glancing at him, he lowered his head and said nothing.

The song they rehearsed at the beginning was an old song they had performed hundreds of times at the bar music festival. Shaking, or several cymbals were not given, all of which are low-level mistakes that should not be brought to the stage.

For the first three times, Zhang Chen was quite patient, calling to stop and start again, but the song that he knew by heart had not been closed until the fourth time. Zhang Chen didn't want to waste any more time looking for trouble, so he put the guitar aside On the sofa, I went to the power supply and unplugged the wires of the musical instrument speakers one by one. Then I went to the refrigerator and took out a bottle of Coke and unscrewed it. I didn’t say any extra nonsense.

Lao Liu also felt that it was outrageous to arrange old songs to such a bad level. Seeing Zhang Chen leaning on the sofa drinking Coke, he felt that his patience was almost exhausted, so he hurriedly smoothed things over and shouted to Zhang Chen from the air: "Seven Yuan must not be able to perform on stage in this state, otherwise we borrow a drummer temporarily? Didn’t they borrow you to play a game when the blood white pigeon keyboard fell ill last time, call me later and ask?” The unplugged Bass lay on the floor and sat down with a snort. He glanced back and forth among the unusual two people. Seeing that no one responded to his suggestion just now, he was so anxious that his forehead was sweating, and he talked about the new one again. Idea: "It's okay if you don't want to borrow it, so let's hurry up and change the arrangement? Remove the drums on Saturday, the overall sound will be lighter, and the audience may think it's quite fresh."

Zhang Chen leaned on the sofa without moving, and asked Qiyuan, who was sitting blankly behind the drum set, "Can you still play? If you can't, Lao Liu and I will temporarily change the arrangement, and now give me an accurate answer."

Hearing Zhang Chen's words, Qiyuan, who had been expressionless all this time, finally reacted, but her movements seemed blunt, and her eyes were not focused. She rubbed her hair casually, opened and closed her mouth, as if wanting to I couldn't say anything, opened and closed several times and finally spit out a sentence: "Both of you, remake the version."

Zhang Chen had no objection, nodded his head and said "OK" and then stopped talking.

The atmosphere was so strangely stalemate, the most tormented was the outsider Lao Liu, who was forced by these two people to have a headache, sat down next to Zhang Chen silently, and glanced at him not far away, still sitting on the drum kit. Qiyuan, who didn't move after that, asked in a low voice, "Did you two quarrel again? Every time you two quarreled, she was like this."

Zhang Chen said, "This time it's more serious than you imagined."

Old Liu shrugged and didn't take it seriously: "Wasn't she dying? Didn't she reconcile later?"

But just after he finished speaking, Qiyuan, who had been standing still all this time, suddenly stood up, without looking at them, she said to them, "Let's have a breakup dinner together tonight, I won't participate in the next album." .”

Old Liu Ben was still in a daze, but when he glanced back and forth between the other two people and the wires of musical instruments all over the floor, he suddenly came back to his senses, and laughed out loud: "I knew it, and I still have to come sooner or later." .”

The dinner at night went surprisingly peacefully. In the past few years, the three of them have almost used "disbandment" as a mantra, and they took them out for a walk from time to time. They cried and made noises in big battles, but within a week, Qiyuan, the instigator of each time, would give them to them one by one. Apologize.

No one thought that the real breakup was as normal as a walk, there was no extravagant farewell banquet, no one hugged and cried together, the three of them were very calm, no one showed their desire to express along the way, and tacitly did not even say a word explain.

They walked along the avenue to the familiar food stalls, and they decided to arrange the lunch here on the spur of the moment.The three sat down under the plastic shed, asked the boss for a draft beer barbecue, and clinked glasses next to the table covered with oil, like the simplest celebration banquet after each performance.

Old Liu drank the most, his drunken face was covered with blush, one eye was staring dead, the other was helplessly closed, he dragged Zhang Chenxu and chatted for a long time, chatting from the international situation to the new anime series, and finally got angry Let's talk about their music.

"Although the things we make have always been a loss-making business that can't make ends meet, even though people in the circle think we have no songwriting nerves and pretentious-they know what a fart!" Zhugan put his red face on Zhang Chen's shoulders, and said with a big tongue: "But you buddy, I understand that hard work should not be destroyed by messy things, I understand—"

Speaking of which, he crookedly stood up from the stool, stopped drinking, and yelled: "If a hundred flowers bloom, we are the smallest and most malnourished one, but they can't do without us in their territory, can't they?"

Zhang Chen said: "I'm just for myself."

Old Liu let out a "hey" and nodded, "I know, I got too far just now, but I know that you can't write that stuff if it's not for yourself, and I'm not a fool! Qiyuan must be so stupid! all know."

He was really drunk, and the words in his mouth quickly turned into ravings that only he could understand. After a while, he didn't even speak, and fell down on the table and started snoring loudly.

Zhang Chen has a good capacity for alcohol, a few bottles are not much different from usual, he called Lao Liu's wife, gave his address, and asked her to pick him up.

Within 10 minutes, a short-haired woman arrived hurriedly, and greeted them all the way, shaking her arms.Together with Zhang Chen, she carried them into the taxi, asked casually about how they were doing, and said goodbye to them by rolling the window before leaving.

When they came back, only Zhang Chen and Qiyuan were left, and Qiyuan was staring into the distance in a daze, neither saying that she was going home nor talking to Zhang Chen.

There was a lot of noise in the food stall, but their table was abnormally quiet.Qiyuan opened a bottle of beer, leaned her neck up, and blew down the whole bottle. Within a minute, her face was flushed. She patted her hot cheeks to vent her anger, and said to the air, "Zhang Chen, can you There are really two strokes, in every aspect."

These words made Zhang Chen laugh for the first time tonight, neither agreed nor refuted.

Qiyuan said again: "Don't feel guilty, the band has been in the band for so many years, anyway, it's all paid by you, not only are we not losing money, we've found someone to take advantage of for our hobbies!"

Zhang Chen said: "I think too much, I don't feel guilty."

Qiyuan giggled, and then fell down on the table in front of her with a plop, tilting her head to watch Zhang Chen drink.

Looking at her, she remembered the winter of their first year in Beijing, when Zhang Chen had already cut his hair and started graduate school, but he still didn't look like a good student.This matter has troubled her since she was in college, and it has troubled her for almost seven years—everyone knows that Zhang Chen will always be the number one in their department, but why doesn't he have a good student temperament?

Thinking about it later, this matter is not important at all, the important thing is that she shouldn't be curious about a person because of something big.

She was not admitted to graduate school like Zhang Chen, but just because of this curiosity, perhaps because of other unspeakable feelings, she rejected the job opportunity in the provincial capital and was willing to follow the band as a North drifter.

At that time, she rented a basement near the rehearsal room and was looking for a job while rehearsing with the band.Once, while she was practicing with a drum pad in her arms, the lights above her head suddenly blazed sharply, and then went out without warning within two seconds.Qiyuan was afraid of the dark, and there was a couple fighting next door, with the sound of smashing things and swearing all over the room. She was so scared that she was about to cry in the dark, and frantically looked for her mobile phone to call Zhang Chen.

She thought she would have to wait for a long time, but within half an hour there was a knock on the door. As soon as the door opened, Zhang Chen stood under the light bulb in the corridor, with a ladder on his shoulder and an old toolbox in one hand.The cheap incandescent lamps in the basement corridor cast layers of light on him, Qiyuan glanced at him, and frantically made way for the emergency man.

On the way she asked, "Where did you get the ladder?"

Zhang Chen set up the ladder, went up neatly, twisted the light bulb and said to the people below: "I borrowed it from the uncle of the small shop in front of your house, and I will return it later."

Qiyuan raised her head in the dark rental house, looking at Zhang Chen who was fixing the light bulb for her by the dim moonlight outside the window. Zhang Chen was unexpectedly proficient in repairing this matter, but she was not allowed to think about it carefully. Why are people so familiar, the light cord above the head suddenly clicked, and then the whole room was brightly lit.

The sudden strong light was like a danger signal. Qiyuan was just about to say, "Fuck, Zhang Chen, you are so fucking fast", but before she sighed, she looked up and saw Zhang Chen sitting on the ladder, with facial features The expression is completely submerged in the overhead light, except for the outline covered with a layer of light.Her heart was beating loudly without warning, and the phrase "Fuck" was stuck in her mouth, and finally she swallowed it back alive.

Thinking of these old things that were about to be buried in the ground, Qiyuan suddenly laughed while lying on the wooden table of the food stall, and even choked herself several times with a smile, so she covered her mouth and coughed loudly, her eyes were irritated by the force. Congested, sore and sore, she could only blink constantly.After a while, a tear trickled down his cheek, making his drunken face more sober.She didn't drink much, her mind was as clear as usual, her vision was only blurred by tears.She lay on the table and tilted her head, looking at Zhang Chen who was drinking beer next to her, she couldn't help stretching out a hand, trying to pretend to be drunk and do something that she hadn't dared to do for so many years to finish it off.

The hand slowly approached Zhang Chen's face, but she didn't dare to touch it. She went back and forth several times, thinking to herself, "Just treat it as the last time", but she was caught by the person next to her before she touched it. Hold your wrist.

Zhang Chen put the wine glass on the table and pushed her hand away, as naturally as instinct.He stood up, took out the wallet from the bag, and said to Qiyuan who was still lying on the table: "I have finished the last meal of wine. After I send you home, I have to go back to the recording studio to adapt the song. I will have another song tomorrow morning." Go to the hospital ahead of time to replace Cheng Sheng's mother's class. We don't need to contact you after the band breaks up, so that's it, I wish you all the best in the future."