sunk into the earth

The sound of hitting the wall in the next ward became louder and louder. After a while, there was a rush of footsteps in the corridor. Several nurses gasped and stomped the corridor. His palms were dry from cold sweat, and he suddenly said to Zhang Chen who was sitting on the bed opposite him, "That's the kind of person I am."

He raised one arm, pointed to the source of the hysteria, and continued: "I'm that kind of person, don't you feel scared?"

Zhang Chen watched Cheng Sheng, who was wearing a hospital gown, move slowly in front of him, and knew what he meant. When he walked in front of him, he stared straight into his eyes and said, "You have known me for so long, why do you think I will be scared?" This kind of thing?" He still stared into Cheng Sheng's eyes, and continued: "This kind of thing is nothing at all, if I was even afraid of this kind of thing, I would have been driven crazy."

After he finished speaking, he reached for the porcelain bowl on the table beside him, forked an apple with a wooden toothpick, and brought it to Cheng Sheng's mouth. His dark eyes never left Cheng Sheng's face, staring at him while holding an apple. A small piece of apple, said: "Okay, I will think about other things later, I just peeled the apple for you, and it hasn't oxidized yet."

What he said just now silenced Cheng Sheng, and now he was guilty of hiding this from Zhang Chen, so he didn't dare to look him in the eyes, sat down slowly next to the bed, reluctantly took the piece of apple in the sky.

In the process of swallowing the jujube, he accidentally found a bright scratch on Zhang Chen's arm, a naked new wound. He was surprisingly sensitive to this kind of wound. As soon as his eyes touched the deep red wound, his heart jumped. Reaching his throat, he suddenly raised his head and asked, "Why do you have a new injury on your arm?"

Zhang Chen glanced at the direction he was pointing at. He didn't care about it, and said casually, "When I was peeling an apple for you, I accidentally scratched my arm. Don't make a fuss."

Cheng Sheng took a closer look at the location of the wound, and found that it was indeed a part that was easily scratched. The heart that was stuck in his throat just now was pressed back again. He lowered his head, and his heart was still twisted into a ball. What apples are you peeling?" He refused to let Zhang Chen feed him, and climbed onto the bed with a small bowl to eat by himself. When he was about to bottom out, he suddenly remembered something, and his tone returned to normal. He turned his head and asked Zhang Chen who was leaning on the bed: "How do you know I'm here?"

"I can send so many things to your computer, and of course I can find your address."

Cheng Sheng put the clean small porcelain bowl back on the table, rubbed his stomach with both hands back and forth through the patient's gown, and said, "I trust you so much, I don't defend you at all."

Zhang Chen asked back: "You trust me so much, why didn't you tell me in person?"

The person next to him who had been tinkering with his own hospital gown stopped, his shoulders tensed, and after a while he let out a heavy breath and said, "Because I know you will come to accompany me, but I don't want to delay other people's time." time."

This "other" made Zhang Chen smile in his heart, but he didn't say anything. He just reached out to help Cheng Sheng tidy up the hospital gown that had just been messed up, and then helped him make the bed sheets and make a quilt. He didn't seem to want to leave at all.

Cheng Sheng sat by the bed and watched him do these trivial things. He wanted to stop him, but he felt that he would not be able to stop Zhang Chen, so he could only lean on the bed and watch in agony.

Zhang Chen, who was stared straight at him, didn't say anything. After finishing everything carefully, he pulled a chair from the opposite side and placed it next to the side of the hospital bed. He sat down and checked the time on his phone before pressing it off. Said: "Go to sleep, the nurse told me that it's too late today, and an extra bed will be available tomorrow."

"You want to stay here forever?"

"Wait until you are discharged from the hospital." Seeing Cheng Sheng's sudden expression of surprise, Zhang Chen helped him tuck the corners of the quilt tightly, leaned back on the chair, and said in a normal way: "I have already resigned, most of them are time."

What Zhang Chen said was serious. The next day, several staff moved a bed to this single ward. The people who moved the bed were busy sweating in the heating room. Chao Zhangchen said: "It's great to have a friend like you. I have never seen a friend who intends to stay with me 24 hours a day. Many family members next door are unwilling!"

Cheng Sheng sat in the middle of the bed and watched everyone work, and answered the conversation enthusiastically: "Other patients must envy me."

"Yeah, when we first came up, the nurses on the third floor were still discussing, saying that the patient friend in 401 on the fourth floor must not have a girlfriend. Whose girlfriend can bear to move a bed and stay with you in the ward for a month?" The two couldn't help it. They looked at each other, and smiled at each other in the staff's exaggerated description.

After sending away a few staff members who moved the beds, the two of them officially settled in the hospital. The addition of an extra bed instantly made the originally spacious deluxe single room a bit cramped.Cheng Sheng thought of a way, and ran down to call Zhang Chen to put the two beds together.The two were busy for a few minutes and finally put it together. Cheng Sheng stood at the end of the bed, looked at the mosaic bed that was no different from a double bed, and smiled contentedly. When he had laughed enough, he patted Zhang Chen on the side and said, "I'm going to make it this afternoon." Biofeedback and EEG, and the doctor will help me refill the medicine."

Zhang Chen put his shoulders on him, glanced at him, and asked, "So actively report to me?

Cheng Sheng threw himself onto the bed, rolled in a circle, got up with his messy hair, and said, "Anyway, I can't hide it from you, so I admit defeat."

Then he saw Zhang Chen leaning against the wall directly at the end of the bed, staring straight at him, his eyes were full of incomprehensible emotions, Cheng Sheng and him looked at each other for a long time, and couldn't stand such a dark scene. Eyes, the ghost said: "You have never done anything wrong, you are not guilty."

Zhang Chen, who was still pursing his lips just now, slowly put on a very faint smile, even the corners of his mouth were flat, and he said, "If we touch each other, maybe there will be nothing left."

The nurse came to make rounds at noon, and supervised Cheng Sheng's meals and medicine. Cheng Sheng took a nap: "Sleep a little longer, and I'll call you when it's time in the afternoon."

Cheng Sheng couldn't fall asleep, so he got on the bed and hugged Zhang Chen's computer, and played around with editing software on his composition software, but after a long time of drumming, he couldn't produce any results. Cheng Sheng felt his emotions just because of this trivial matter. He suddenly fell to the bottom of the valley, and he wanted to lie down and sleep for a while, and carry it over, but before his back touched the bed, he heard a rush of footsteps from far to near in the corridor, and then the door of the ward was pushed open from the outside. Come on, voices from outside flooded into the room instantly.

"Cheng Sheng, you didn't tell your parents when you were hospitalized? Or did your mother go to your company and couldn't find you, and only after asking back and forth did you find out that you came to the hospital without saying a word..."

Before they finished speaking, the two middle-aged people stopped at the same place and did not go any further—their own son was lying in the middle of the hospital bed, his face pale, and the person sitting next to them holding their son's hand was a young man whom he had never seen before. Men, when they look up, they still have a calm expression, which gives people a cold and indifferent impression, but they have reflective nails on their noses and ears, and they are dressed in summer in winter, wearing artistic outfits No matter how you look at it, it doesn't fit in with Cheng Sheng.

The eyes of the few of them flashed sparks in the air, and they knew what was going on in their hearts. Their eyes dodged and tugged a few times in mid-air, but no one spoke rashly.

This was the first time Zhang Chen saw Cheng Sheng's parents. The two middle-aged people with delicate features were much younger than the middle-aged people of the same age.Cheng Sheng's father was wearing a dark cashmere coat, his hair was neatly combed and dyed black, and he couldn't find a single white hair. There were some not too deep wrinkles on his cheeks and mouth, and he left a certificate of honor than a few days ago. The next Zhang Licheng is a hundred times more respectable.

Zhang Chen turned his attention to Cheng Sheng's mother again. She looked much younger than Cheng Sheng, and she looked like Cheng Sheng's sister. Take your time, and just walk in a few steps from the door, and you can tell people that you are a lady.

Zhang Chen was next to the hospital bed, holding Cheng Sheng's hand under the blanket, stood up politely from the chair, and took the initiative to greet them: "Hello, uncle and aunt."

His calmness made the two weather-beaten middle-aged men on the opposite side feel uncomfortable. Cheng Sheng's mother looked around him several times, waving her hand to ask him to sit down, but she didn't talk to him. Cheng Sheng: "This is?"

Cheng Sheng looked at Zhang Chen, who was already sitting beside him, and didn't answer, nor did he look at his parents. He stared at Zhang Chen's eyes without moving, and suddenly stretched out his finger to point to his lips.

He wasn't sure if Zhang Chen would let him go blind in order to show his relationship in front of his parents, and he suddenly regretted halfway through pointing, but before he could move his hesitant hand, Zhang Chen next to him leaned over to the corner of his mouth, A little bit.

Immediately there was an uncomfortable light cough from a middle-aged man in front of him. Zhang Chen didn't care who was coughing and who was staring at them, and then touched Cheng Sheng's forehead with his forehead, reminding him: "The nurse will be here in two hours. I'm here to take you to treatment."

Cheng Sheng nodded, looked back into his eyes, and laughed softly.

When he turned around again, Cheng Sheng saw that his parents turned their heads away from them, with an expression of being frightened but trying to pretend to be calm. Cheng Sheng had just taken the oath of sovereignty and was satisfied, so he took the initiative to introduce to his parents: "This is Zhang Chen." , you should all have heard from grandma.”

Of course they know who Zhang Chen is, and he is the chief culprit who caused their precious son to become what he is now. The two of them are usually generous people, but they really can't live in peace with Zhang Chen, and no one takes the initiative to talk to him. Except for the few glances and greetings when he just came in, he never looked at him directly.

Cheng Sheng's mother, who hadn't seen her son, moved a chair and sat on the other side of Cheng Sheng, ignoring Zhang Chen who was opposite, and pulled Cheng Sheng across the other single bed to chatter about Cheng Sheng's ignorance. Go to a public hospital to register for medical treatment by yourself?After a while, I felt that the single ward was too small, so I should find a private doctor with the most experience to treat me at home.

Cheng Sheng clenched his hands under the quilt, and just as he said something to stop his mother, Lao Cheng, who was facing the end of the bed, immediately stopped him: "You are too old to be sensible, how long has it been since you saw your mother?" You? She told you a few words and just listened honestly. "

Cheng Sheng glanced at Zhang Chen beside the bed, feeling a little distressed, but Zhang Chen obviously didn't care, leaning on the bed and listening to Cheng Sheng's parents admonishing him with relish.

Old Cheng leaned against the wall, his eyes followed Zhang Chen's every move. Zhang Chen was calm about others' ignorance and hostility, no matter his demeanor or action, and did not show any discomfort. He seemed to regard this situation as the most common part of his daily life. .He went to look at Cheng Sheng again, and found that his son's expression had never been so cautious. He looked back at Zhang Chen from time to time, and immediately shook the arm of the person opposite him when he heard something wrong, as if he was afraid that he would be wronged a little bit because of himself.

Lao Cheng looked directly at his son who was completely different from what he knew, and took the initiative to speak to Zhang Chen with the first official sentence of the day: "Xiao Zhang, let's go out for a cigarette together? I want to talk to you."

The mother and son on the opposite side stopped chatting for a moment. Cheng Sheng tugged at Zhang Chen's arm, not wanting him to stay with Lao Cheng, but Zhang Chen straightened up quickly, let go of his hand, and said, "I also I want to talk to your dad."

The two men went down the stairs side by side through the corridor. Lao Cheng was much shorter than Zhang Chen, and he seemed to raise his chin slightly, which looked contemptuous from a distance.The two of them didn't exchange a word on the way, and Lao Cheng just looked at the young man beside him from time to time, wondering in his heart that it was such a person who broke his son.

They passed through the long and narrow corridor, and Lao Cheng suddenly remembered the diary he accidentally found when he was tidying up Cheng Sheng's bedroom. Falling in love, Lao Cheng randomly turned to a page, and the first paragraph wrote: When I left his house, I stole two pieces of soap, thinking that I could keep a little bit of his smell, but when I came back, I found that they were different when I rubbed them on my body Taste, I'm disappointed, I should have stolen two of his clothes back.

Not two lines later, there is another long paragraph, with intermittent handwriting, through which you can see how the writer's trembling hand is holding the pen. It is written on the paper: Dad asked me to socialize with female classmates more, and gave me love one after another. Introduce the girl he likes, I know what he means, he is afraid that I will not get rid of the problem of liking men, he wants me to get married when I graduate, go to a Ph. A scientific research career that did not stick to the end.But just this night, I suddenly had a dream, I dreamed of him again, but this time we met in college, maybe it was in the previous life or the next life, he was still the same as when I first saw him , I fell in love with him at first sight again as a matter of course, and then we fell in love logically.University is a good place to develop love, carefree, but unfortunately we have no chance in this life.

Hands trembling while touching the diary, Lao Cheng suppressed the idea of ​​tearing up these messy things, and turned to the next page, which wrote: It turned out that it was already [-], but why am I still thinking about [-]? ?I had a dream again last night. I dreamed that he was slowly approaching me. When the tip of his nose was close to mine, I saw him suddenly smile. He usually doesn’t smile because it’s hard to be worthwhile in his life. It's a happy thing, but I always do something funny in front of him, which is also counted as a special ability in me to be thankful for.In the dream, he was so close to me as before, blowing smoke rings on my face, and I was so choked up that I coughed violently, and the coughing was so heartbreaking that it is not enough to describe.When I woke up again, it was already bright outside the window, and the surrounding area was empty. I kicked the thick quilt out of the bed and piled it up. I ignored the pile of cotton and looked up at the white expanse outside the window.It was snowing heavily outside. I looked at the snow and suddenly realized that I didn't know what clothes he was wearing in winter.

This stack of diaries is so thick that it is unbearable to describe an illusory image, which makes people unable to grasp the shape. It is natural for Lao Cheng to have great curiosity and secret disgust for the people written in his son's diary. He looked up and down The protagonist beside him, seeing his completely different appearance and attire from Cheng Sheng, suddenly said, "Your temperament is very different from my son's."

Zhang Chen is different from the person in Lao Cheng's imagination. He is still able to do a job well in front of the elders. When the two reached the fence at the back door of the hospital, he even handed him a cigarette naturally, without letting go of his status as an elder at all. in the eyes.Old Cheng didn't refuse, and with a cigarette in his mouth, he took the lighter from Zhang Chen's hand. Just as he lit the cigarette, he heard the young man next to him say, "Can you still see the temperament?"

"Of course." Lao Cheng returned the lighter to Zhang Chen, and smiled as he withdrew his hand: "The most important thing in my life is all kinds of people, such as officials, businessmen, and children who come to petition. Yes, I have seen all kinds of people."

This is both a truth and an arrogant statement. Zhang Shen nodded at the side, and turned half of his face to look at Lao Cheng, with a hint of provocation in his eyes. He asked, "What do you want to talk about by calling me out alone?" ?”

"Talk about my son, otherwise what can we talk about?" Lao Cheng lowered his head, took several big puffs of cigarettes, and waited until the choking smoke cleared from his mouth and nose, then spoke again and said to Zhang Chen beside him: "My son would never have become what he is today. He was very naughty when he was a child, and he made troubles outside every day. I was transferred to work in other places for a long time. When I came back, his mother gave me a small report, saying that he found Cheng Sheng one night. Squatting under the brick wall smoking a cigarette, choking tears all over his face. He was only 14 years old at the time, and he didn’t know how to smoke at all. He was secretly learning these nonsense things. For a while, he was obsessed with literary and artistic films, and came to me and said: Dad, I will also find a girl who is depressed and not talkative to be my girlfriend in the future. Xie ran to form a band and played some music that he didn’t even know what it was. I asked him what the core of the music you played was, and he told me it was freedom and rebellion. I asked him again, are you not free enough or rebellious enough? Go and see ordinary children, who is free and rebellious like you? Where do you want to be free? He couldn't hold back a word for a long time because of his neck. These things happened before him. As a father, I can understand, It’s not surprising that a boy’s self-righteousness and arrogance in adolescence, I thought this was just a growth stage, and he would grow into a mature and reliable man in the future, but no, you cut off his path to maturity and completely ruined it. killed my son."

After hearing such a long accusation, Zhang Shen did not express his opinion. He leaned against the railing and smoked for a while, ignoring the burning eyes of Cheng Sheng's father next to him, looking at the withered grass in front of him, and asked him: "Then what do you think now? what should I do?"

Old Cheng probably had been in the officialdom for a long time, and his words were winding and convoluted. He held the remaining half of the cigarette in his hand, looked at Zhang Chen and said, "Grandma Cheng Sheng talked to me a few years ago. , said that he has never seen such a child who can withstand things like this. It seems that the sky will not be able to crush your spine. We all know that you are a good boy. It is not easy to get to the present step by step on your own, but where are you and Cheng Sheng? It's not suitable, staying together is a sin, no one can make the other feel at ease, it can only make the two families suffer. Cheng Sheng has never suffered from childhood, and he has become obsessed with others casually, but I know you have been a child since childhood. Mature children should have known that you are not suitable."

Zhang Chen nodded, "Of course I know, but I know I'm still with him, don't you think these words are meaningless to me?"

Lao Cheng frowned, put out the cigarette on the railing, and asked again: "Can your family accept that you will be unmarried and sterile with a man for the rest of your life?"

These words made Zhang Chen stop for a long while without speaking. He lowered his head and then raised his head and said: "All dead, I am the only one at home."

When asked about taboos, Lao Cheng was obviously taken aback. After regaining consciousness, he cleared his throat symbolically, naturally skipped the topic, and asked again: "What do you do now?"

"I used to work in Chengsheng Company, but now I do music full-time. Apart from my own business, sometimes I am in charge of some album mixing for others, and occasionally I replace the keyboard or bass for other bands."

Lao Cheng was silent for a long time, and then he spoke again: "Zhang Chen, I don't know how far you and my son have come in the past, but if I were you, I would never be with someone who has completely changed into another person. This is a good thing. Without you, he will lose his obsession, and he will only live better. You don’t have to take care of another patient without him, and you can devote yourself to your own career. From any point of view, it is best for you to separate Good choice."

This Xiaozhi's statement of moving with emotion and reasoning made Zhang Chen laugh again, but it was more emotional, he fanned the smell of cigarettes on his body with his hand, and sighed: "You don't understand Cheng Sheng nor love. "

After finishing speaking, he casually crushed the cigarette and threw it into the green trash can beside the grass, glanced at the meticulously combed middle-aged man, leaving only his back on the way to the ward, and told him with his back turned: "Your son can't live without me. You can't change him back into what I've turned him into. You can't do this. I'll bear the consequences I caused. I don't need others to teach me."

The word "others" in this sentence caused Lao Cheng's half-collapsed eyelids to lift up, and his tired eyes widened accordingly. He looked at Zhang Chen's back walking back in disbelief, and couldn't say a word anymore. .

When he went back again, Cheng Sheng was gurgling and drinking the rock sugar pear soup brought by his mother, with only a pair of eyes showing, but when he saw Zhang Chen coming in with the cold air, those eyes were fixed, and he turned his eyes away in a few moments. After drinking the soup to the end, he asked anxiously, "What did my dad tell you?"

Zhang Chen leaned against the door to let the cold air out of his body before sitting by Cheng Sheng's bed, and nodded symbolically with Cheng Sheng's mother on the other chair, then turned to Cheng Sheng and said, "He didn't say anything, but I Made your dad mad."