Time is not alluring

The sub-subject examinations were arranged at a single table for one person, and the test specifications were a bit like the college entrance examination. The invigilator was the teacher in charge of the first year of high school, and was much gentler than the usual teachers.

The sunlight outside the window slanted silently, climbed onto my table, reflected a bright and dazzling light, the curtains blew and swayed, the sound was like the blowing of the funeral banners in ancient times, and a group of people were wailing underneath, The white copper coins were blown off by the wind and floated on the ground to become our test papers.

The exam is like a sacrifice, the whole process is heavy and solemn.

The teacher helped me draw the curtains to block the glare, thinking that this would make me feel better, but it was not.

Instead, I became more and more sad, because I couldn't do the questions on the test paper.

Being pessimistic, I always feel that every time I take a math test, it seems like she is tossing me, making me so miserable that I am dying, and English has stuffed me with a resurrection pill.

English seems to be saving me, but in fact it is only accelerating the process of my death.

Probably... I'm hopeless.

I lay down on the table, flipped through the test paper, and checked it twice. Actually, there was nothing to check. The big questions in the back were all empty, and the multiple-choice questions in the front were also empty.

Cut the small eraser in your hand into small squares with a knife, a total of twenty small pieces, mark them with ABCD, turn them over, and use the number of three one three one to separate the squares.

After five times, the last small piece was left, which was the answer I wanted.

Compared with other students who are racing against time, this move seems a bit idle. If I sleep on the table, I will be dissatisfied with the teacher.

So this kind of small game is quite good for killing time.

The last small piece was turned over by me, it was c, I picked up the pen, and filled in the last question of the fill-in-the-blank question, which was hailed by Miejue Shitai as 'I would rather not divide than die', and filled in c.

I looked at the question and thought that the most unlikely thing is C, but there is no way, God wants me to fill in C, how can I go against my fate.

It turns out that what I tend to think is impossible hides great possibility.

For the last multiple-choice question in mathematics, I was the only one in the class who was right, and only I knew that I was right.

Borrowing luck and getting fruit is not to be applauded, because my math grades are stable, as always, bad and bottom.

But they didn't, after class, they asked me for that question, flattering, "Oh, An'an, you are so amazing, you are the only one in the class right..."

I said modestly, wherever and wherever, I wrote it casually.

They don't believe it, it's so powerful that everything written casually is all right for the whole class, and you are the only one who is right.

I laughed, Miejue Shitai’s problem-solving method is completely different from my eraser trinity calculation method, but what I want in the end is the result.

How important is the process?No results, no idea of ​​success or failure, he is nothing.

They still emphasized on their own, An An is so good, she is the only one in the class.

Don't praise me, didn't you see my tail sticking up to the sky?

Why don't you say that I was the only one in the class who went to liberal arts?

Relying on the whole class thinking that I, Wei An, were right, I didn't believe in death, so I took the report card of the sub-subject examination, found Tai Renbin, and asked him to give me an analysis. As far as my grades are concerned, liberal arts is better than science.

The answer given by Tai Renbin was very official, like what the curator of Ji Taekwondo said - I see that your bones are amazing, you must be a talent in martial arts.

He relaxed his tone and suggested that I choose liberal arts.

Liberal arts is your broad avenue. Only by choosing liberal arts can you make your way to the top, while science, for you, is a single-plank bridge for thousands of troops, and your life is bumpy.

I understood Tai Renbin's words so well, thanked him, and submitted the liberal arts application form.

Tai Renbin signed and stamped it, and I finally breathed a sigh of relief. You see, it's not that I don't want to choose science. They all persuaded me that liberal arts is better, and I have no choice.

I dumped this psychological burden on other passers-by, A, B, C, D, very beautifully, and my heart was bright and clean.

Just standing in front of Class [-], how could you be a little dazed and cramped?

It's like coming to Jiangnan for the first time, entering a new environment, meeting new people, and starting a new life.

I still remember that last year, Lin Youyang asked me, An An, do you want to come to Class [-]?

Now that I'm here, I don't know if he's still here.

Yesterday's jokes are branded today and become facts, and the dreams I had tomorrow can be revisited yesterday, and I feel familiar.

Life is more dramatic than fiction.

Someone patted me on the shoulder from behind, and I turned my head away. The face was very familiar, but I couldn't remember who it was.

"New classmate? Why don't you go in?" She asked me.

It was only later that I found out that her name was Qu Xiaoxiao, she became my deskmate, and she was also the strange woman who chased after Lin Youyang and me that day.

Sitting in the classroom of Class [-], I realized that besides me in Class [-], Zhu Beibei also chose liberal arts.

I'm a little relieved. In class one, if you can't be unique, no one will regard you as unique.

The new book was released, exuding the fragrance of ink. I went up to get the book and found that I had grown a lot in the past year, even taller than the class teacher.

After taking the book and walking down, the book was heavy in my hand, the head teacher reminded me to be careful.

Only then did I realize that the head teacher was not Tai Renbin, whose appearance, body and temperament were completely opposite to Tai Renbin, but a fat, short, short woman with a very kind smile.

It's called Zhang Ming.

I took the book down and pushed it aside habitually, "Axu...help me write my name."

The words that followed were choked in my throat, and I blushed from the choking.

My deskmate is no longer Liu Xu, she should be writing the names of other people for her deskmate now, I wonder if she will think of me when she is still in Class [-], will she get used to it...

"What to write?" Qu Xiaoxiao asked immediately.

"It's nothing..." I tried to take back my book, but was pressed by Qu Xiaoxiao, "Isn't that just calling me by my name...wait..."

Qu Xiaoxiao immediately picked up the pen and began to write, "Here, it's done."

I looked at the words on it, smiled a little forcedly, and said, "Thank you..."

Perhaps my reluctance was too obvious, Qu Xiaoxiao saw it, and asked cautiously, "Everyone...doesn't they all commemorate like this?"

"Maybe..." I nodded, feeling ashamed, but she breathed a sigh of relief.

But Liu Xu and I will not, never leave our own marks on things that belong to each other, and declare generously and even proudly, look, this is my tablemate, and our relationship is very good.

We always have a tacit understanding, keep silent about each other's belonging, but regard each other as an inseparable part of ourselves, like territorial rights.

But when Qu Xiaoxiao wrote her name in my book, it was like signing an unequal treaty. My complete territory began to be ceded little by little, and finally became without a bottom line, and was completely occupied by Qu Xiaoxiao.

And that person named Liu Xu... Will I still get used to Qu Xiaoxiao instead?Still defending himself very passionately, resisting foreign invaders to the death.

As lazy as I am, I probably won't get excited in this life.

but…

if…

Liu Xu wrote in my book, "At the same table, Qu Xiaoxiao, stay in 2013", and I would pin her on the bed and beat her until she cried and begged for mercy.

The other party was Qu Xiaoxiao, so I waved my hand and reluctantly chose to forgive.

Not catkins, anyone can give tolerance.

Later, I don’t know where to read a sentence, it’s a sign of immaturity to choose to care about relatives, but to be friendly to strangers.

After reading that sentence for a long time, I suddenly became sad.

The person who wrote this sentence must not understand how unbearable and ugly his face is when he chooses to care about himself.

But being friendly to strangers is just a mask for communication. How can this be compared?

mid-September.

I think I can get used to the life in Class [-], and the breath of complaining about others is also waved away by Qu Xiaoxiao little by little.

Qu Xiaoxiao is a very cheerful girl, unlike Xiao Huan, her cheerfulness is the light in the sky, while Xiao Huan is the shadow of the clouds on the ground.

She is very talkative. After class, she can greet and chat with the whole class, and she can make a 15-minute break between classes into an exchange meeting.

It's also very humorous, the things he said are all popular jokes on the Internet, and everyone still laughs happily when they listen to the usual jokes.

She is also very enthusiastic. Although her grades are not good, she is very popular with the teachers. The teachers of various subjects like to ask her to help, so they send homework to convey the news.

Qu Xiaoxiao is Teacher Zhang Ming's most capable assistant and has become a class assistant.

For me, who lives an ordinary and even depressed life, Qu Xiaoxiao's life is a legend, and I kind of envy her for being like a fish in water.

"Are you tired?" I saw her busy and asked with concern.

Qu Xiaoxiao froze for a moment, then said, "No way."

She is very happy, I can feel it, vaguely, thinking of Bi Xiaoxiao's words, happiness is to be found by myself.

For a person like me who knows it is possible but does not want to change, it will be difficult to maintain a happy state in this life.

There's nothing wrong with being pessimistic.I comfort myself.

Maybe it was too pessimistic, even my mother saw the clues, when I was eating, she served me a bowl of fish soup, seeing that I drank it to my heart's content, so she pretended to ask casually.

"An'an, are you okay in the new class?"

"Hmm...it's okay..." I gulped down a sip of the soup, feeling hot in my mouth, and replied inarticulately.

I always feel that my mother has planned it for a long time. Otherwise, how could the next sentence choke me half to death?

My mother said, your friend chose science, and you will not see him often in the future, will you get used to it?

I said, no, I'm used to it.

When people are lying to themselves, they are most likely to want to cry. What I said is obviously the truth, why is it so sad?

After I was divided into subjects, I often hid from Liu Xu, afraid that when I saw her, she would jump out, point at my nose and curse, An An, you have no heart, it was useless for me to help you with tutoring for so many days.

Although I'm quite heartless, it's not so heartless that I won someone's favor, but I still have to bite back, yelling at me and not asking you to help me with tutoring, what are you yelling about!

In addition to being grateful to Liu Xu for helping me with tutoring, I also feel distressed.

During those days, she often helped me with tutoring until late at night. Sometimes I went to the toilet, and when I came back, I saw her lying on the table tired and fell asleep.

Liu Xu still refused to throw away the pen she held in her hand, and the test paper on the table was also wrinkled by her. She wanted to shake her to wake her up, but in a daze, she heard her call my name, An An.

It hurts my heart to hear it.

I took a thin blanket and tried to cover her, but Liu Xu woke up before it fell off.

I, who never knew her sleep was so shallow, hugged the quilt, stood there, and burst into tears.

Liu Xu frantically comforted me and wiped away my tears. She wiped more and more tears, but stopped crying for some reason.

"do not Cry."

Thinking about it now, it happened in July last month, why does it feel like it's been a long time.

And now, Liu Xu doesn't come to look for me anymore, and probably doesn't want to see me either.

I thought that if I didn't say anything, there would be a tacit understanding, and in the end, they would unanimously choose science. Maybe she couldn't bear it. My sudden betrayal was actually planned for a long time, and I left her silent.

There is not even an explanation, the further I hide, the further I hope she can understand, I am a coward, how can I be expected to be brave.

I lay on the bed, covered my eyes with my arms, and secretly thought about it.

Recalling that once said, if someone treats you so well, understands you and understands you, even if you don't accept it, you should cherish it.

But how can I cherish it so that this relationship can stay fresh forever?