this turbulent love

Chapter 10

A few days after this incident, the winter vacation took place.Gu Yan put on a thick down jacket and a coat underneath, covering his whole body from head to toe before heading to the train station.He didn't think City X was very cold, it was because the temperature in City Z was really not high, so he had to go back like this. It wasn't very weird, but it seemed a little more conspicuous among a group of people.

He breathed like this, while waiting for the train in the waiting room, he casually turned his head and looked around, and saw Jian Mo standing behind him, playing with his mobile phone with his head down.Gu Yan's heart skipped a beat, he was pleasantly surprised, and was about to call Jian Mo, when he suddenly remembered what happened last time, which seemed to have made the two of them unhappy, thinking this way, he dimly put back the hand he was about to wave.

"Ah Jian! I told you to come out after eating. Every time I get busy, I won't think about eating." Over there, Yu Wenqian came out of the small shop with bread and drinks in his hands.Gu Yan saw a smile on Jian Mo's expressionless face, and he replied with a smile, "Because I can't make it in time, so I came here first." He took Yu Wenqian's luggage and the lunch he bought.

Looking at this scene, Gu Yan saw an expression on Jian Mo's face that he had never seen before, and he had never seen such emotions as pampering in Jian Mo's eyes, and he couldn't even see a smile.This person has such a rich expression where he can't see it, but he is so stingy that he only shows it to a few people.Gu Yan was not sad because Jian Mo smiled, he was sad because he tried so hard to get close to Jian Mo, but was not allowed.

After the two of them talked a few words, they began to look for a seat. Gu Yan pulled up the collar of his coat, turned up the collar of the coat inside, and turned his head away, but his heart was so sad that he couldn't help but sink down.When the two people passed him and walked in the other direction, he raised his head, took out his phone and began to wait for the time to pass.

Gu Yan was in a lot of torment during these short ten minutes. He was afraid of being recognized, but at the same time felt frustrated.He could only play with his mobile phone on the ground, keeping his eyes on those two people.They looked very happy, no, probably their time together was so casual, and Jian Mo also looked very relaxed.Gu Yan could even clearly imagine Jian Mo's slightly raised mouth and Yu Wenqian's gentle words.Their tone was so relaxed that Gu Yan felt that this was Jian Mo, not the expressionless 'mask' they saw in front of outsiders.

Gu Yan felt that Jian Mo was stingy, so stingy that he only showed these things to a very few people; at the same time, he was deeply helpless, these very few people excluded him.He used to think that if he couldn't do that, he could at least be a good friend.Now this made Gu Yan start to waver, Jian Mo's heart seemed to be surrounded by a natural moat, except for his own willingness, he would turn a blind eye to others even if they were smashed outside.

Getting close to him, just being close to him made Gu Yan feel unreachable.

Gu Yan was immersed in his own thoughts like this, and for the first time felt that even if this matter turned around a thousand detours, it would not reach the place he wanted.He is not a person who gives up easily, Jian Mo is happy, angry, sad... He wants to see all these emotions.

His eyes became firmer. Since the road has nine twists and eighteen bends, it is better to abandon these detours and go straight to the end.

He looked at the phone, from bewilderment and disappointment to firm persistence.

Time passed quickly in his absence, until he heard Jian Mo say goodbye to Yu Wenqian, and told Yu Wenqian to call himself when he got home, and carefully put his luggage in the car, and waited until the train was about to leave Only then waved goodbye below.The scene of the two of them saying goodbye was so beautiful that Gu Yan couldn't feel any other emotions.He didn't turn his head until he saw Jian Mo regaining that expression and disappearing into the waiting room.

Hearing the start of the ticket check for City Z, Gu Yan came back to his senses, pulled up his luggage and got on the train after queuing up.

Just like this, he returned to his long-lost home, and Gu Yan's depressed mood improved a lot because of returning home.He still quarreled with Gu Yu, chatted with his parents, and clinged to his mother all the time, as if he was back in his childhood. It seemed that things would go much smoother this way, so he had to seek a little comfort in this way.

Looking at her son who was still smiling, Gu's mother began to worry about Gu Yan.Gu Yan may not have noticed that since he was a child, every time he was wronged, he would always pester him like this, and he would keep talking, as if he could let others know that he was happy.Gu's mother responded to Gu Yan and cooperated with him, until he returned to the room, she frowned and looked at Gu Yan's room, and sighed, the child has grown up, and he has to solve many things by himself.

Thinking of this, Gu's mother took Gu's father back to the room.

After finishing his clothes, Gu Yan sat on the bed and began to lose his mind.Sighing deeply, Gu Yan felt that since he was sure that he liked Jian Mo, the road ahead was difficult. Jian Mo was really discouraging, and many people retreated under his indifference.

Gu Yan looked at his hands, and suddenly felt that liking someone really made one want to show him his heart, to let him know that he liked him, but that person didn't see him.That's right, he just regarded him as an ordinary junior, and he had a better impression if he died, but after knowing that he was inquiring about him.The two of them seemed to be getting farther and farther apart. Gu Yan left a text message to Jian Mo, and Jian Mo replied more and more slowly...

This secretive, cautious emotion made Gu Yan more and more sensitive, and he began to care more and more about his every word and every action.This unspoken love made it more and more difficult for Gu Yan to move forward, but he kept moving forward, and this was just a small setback. That person just didn't know that he cared so much about him, and anyone who asked him would feel angry. He comforted himself little by little like this, strengthening his confidence.

He couldn't tell others, although he didn't think there was anything wrong, but he still hoped that this hopeful liking would not cause trouble, especially for people like Jian Mo.He doesn't know what will happen to Jian Mo when he finds out. He knows that Jian Mo is a person who is cold on the outside and hot on the inside, but what is the bottom line? of.He now finally knows why love makes people humble.

He was thinking nervously in the room, Gu Yan never thought about it so much, he liked it as much as he wanted, and he would even move forward bravely after he was sure.It's just that today's Jian Mo made him hesitate, can he really do it?The future of men and women is still uncertain, let alone two boys, he feels that he is extremely sensitive now.

"You are my little apple..." Awakened by the phone ringing, Gu Yan picked up the phone.Zhuang Qian's noisy voice came from inside.He paused, "Zhuang Qian, come out and have a drink with me."

Zhuang Qian over there was silent for a while, "Then I'll wait for you at the 'Small Shop', and we'll meet there." Gu Yan clenched his phone tightly and said 'um' until he hung up the phone.He tidied his clothes and prepared to go out.

He feels that he is not normal. He is as sentimental as a woman recently. He is overwhelmed by his little emotions. Just be with him.He doesn't want to be alone right now.

Zhuang Qian seldom saw Gu Yan sitting so quietly, he was always the most active one, and the one who laughed the craziest, he always comforted others when they were sad.There is a lot of comfort, and now Zhuang Qian feels that the person who cannot comfort him the most is Gu Yan, because he himself knows that those words of comfort are comforting others, and cannot comfort himself.Although he didn't know what was going on, Zhuang Qian didn't say anything, just sat opposite Gu Yan, and the two drank in silence.Gu Yan kept drinking one glass after another, and Zhuang Qian stayed with him like this. The dim light of the small shop gave the tired boy opposite a halo of light, making him look much weaker.

Finally, after greeting Gu's father and mother, Zhuang Qian took Gu Yan back to his home.

It wasn't until Zhuang Qian thought that Gu Yan had fallen asleep that Gu Yan started rambling on about this time, from caring to liking, from optimism to pessimism.Zhuang Qian listened, listening to his recalling voice getting softer and softer.Almost helplessly and annoyed, he pulled Gu Yan up from the bed, threw him on the ground and said loudly uncontrollably:

"Damn it, Gu Yan, don't tell me, you did this to me just because of such a trivial matter. Damn, are you a man, why are you so clear about chasing points! You like people because you like them, you can handle it Well, the big deal is to refuse. Don’t tell me that you’re such a fool in college, you’re afraid of even such a small thing!” Zhuang Qian really felt that Gu Yan was simply... just because of such a small thing. , just because of such a small episode, he was so decadent, Zhuang Qian really wanted to wake him up.

Gu Yan was thrown to the ground, and only after hearing Zhuang Qian's scolding, did he wake up a little bit.He knew that Zhuang Qian cared about him, listening to his words, Gu Yan also thought of many things.That's right, the big deal is to refuse, who is showing this look?If he likes people, he just goes after them, why is he so self-pitying here?

He propped himself up with his hands, and the heavy blow to him today disappeared in an instant. In fact, it was not a big deal, but he lost his composure because he cared too much about Jian Mo.Jian Mo's attitude towards Yu Wenqian is also because he posted it, so it's against the law to post Xiaoxiao?

Thinking about it like this, he felt that his mood became active, and his whole body seemed to be relaxed all of a sudden.Zhuang Qian breathed a sigh of relief, didn't expect to just scold the kid like this?He took a look at Gu Yan, but couldn't tell that going outside had turned into a shivering m......

Gu Yan punched Zhuang Qian, the two of them laughed, and nothing happened.Gu Yan sometimes felt that it was more thanks to having Zhuang Qian by his side that he was so happy.The two quarreled for a while, and went back to Zhuang Qian's room to sleep when they felt sleepy.

He lay on the bed and exhaled, feeling his strength return.

The author has something to say: ...I have a cold. ==