Network distribution circle tearing guide

There is a popular ad slogan in the online distribution circle recently: "When you are sleepy and tired, use Lao Qin to stimulate laughter and full of energy. Use Lao Qin, your laughter is beyond your imagination."

This slogan is different from the exaggerated words in general advertisements. It is very objective and realistic, but it is a bit reserved. Nearly everyone who uses Qin Guangling’s Weibo on a daily basis is always smiling. A few people with low hhp also have abdominal pain, chest pain, and jaw pain due to excessive laughter. , There is even a depression patient who brushes his Weibo for a week and recovers without medicine. For this, he specially posted a thank you in District 2, and gave him a pennant of "Catch Bethune in the middle".

Why do we say "Catch Bethune" instead of "Catch Zhang Zhongjing" or "Catch Li Shizhen"?It's not that this catcher worships foreigners, it's just because among all the famous Chinese and foreign doctors, Bethune is the only one who dedicated his life to saving lives and healing the wounded. Qin Guangling's current behavior shows a considerable spirit of dedication. Listening to these words, the front and back nasal sounds can be clearly distinguished. It is not the body, but the body. The sound of fame.

In this world, it is a tragedy to see people lose their lives, and it is a comedy to see people lose their ugliness. Regardless of the loss of life and shame, it is the disaster of others in the final analysis. Now the arresters are relying on Qin Guangling's ridiculous disaster for fun, and they don't feel any sympathy or guilt, because He asked for all this.

Viewers who come here for the name can see his delightful signature on his homepage - "a boy who is willing to sell himself for love", and then look at the top Weibo below.

"You only see my *, but you don't see my infatuation. You have your deep cabinet, I have my frivolity. You reject my courtship, I insist on my choice, you despise me, have hundreds of friends, I don't deserve to love. I feel sorry for your poor eyesight. You can hesitate, we are still young and we will make mistakes, this is the price of love. Loving you is a unique dream, although it has been questioned and ridiculed. But so what, even if you are covered in bruises, You must also love to your heart's content. I am Guangling, and I speak for myself."

Just ask any online matchmaker who has been in the circle for more than one year, and they will tell you that Qin Guangling's confession was specially written for Sangenxian Duan.For half a month, he insisted on courting him in different ways on Weibo every day, or wrote some English sonnets with grammatical errors, or a paragraph that made people fall down after listening to goosebumps. A dish full of nasty recitations, the funniest is a bunch of live videos made by him personally.Some drank for Sangengxian Duan at home, drank two dozen beers in a row and finally turned into an artificial fountain; Xian Duan shouted "I love you" and was splashed into a drenched chicken by passing cars; there was someone who pulled petals on the side of the road and counted "Xian Xian loves me or not" and was abused by the sanitation lady... These out-of-the-ordinary performances made his popularity skyrocket , topped the Weibo hot search twice in a short period of time, and people outside the circle wondered, "Who is the third watch?", and some people asked this question on Zhihu. The famous straight male bitch in disguise"...

On this day, the bored arresters went to the "Patient Thank You Post" in District 2 to check in and comment on Qin Guangling's performance that day.

"Qin Guangling sang Shoufang Datong's "Three-person Tour" today. He sang it on the Sunlight Rock of Gulangyu Island at 5 o'clock in the morning. He also spent money to hire a blower. It was too hard."

"He sang standing outside the guardrail, with the cliff behind him. I heard the security guards outside the screen calling him to come back. The blower was so strong that he turned him into an onion. He was still singing there. The screen is so beautiful that I dare not look at 23333"

"Is he really mentally ill? Weibo is getting more and more hot-eyed, and now I feel a little sympathetic to the third shift. If I were to be decommissioned by such a crazy pursuit of early sales accounts."

"It's useless for Sangen to withdraw from the circle. Qin Guangling knows his three-dimensional information, and he will definitely pursue him. If this happens, I really doubt whether he loves Sangen or black Sangen."

"Hahaha, he is using his fanatical love to hang his life in the dark, but I don't think so, I just firmly believe that I am the savior who saved the life of the third generation, and I want the third generation to rest from Xiaoxiaoyu. *Take it back from the hands of the Phoenix man."

"Have you checked the weibo of the dog's tail grass? In the morning, she posted a description of the fifth episode of "Yutangchun"."

"What did you say? Turn around and have a look."

"A dog's tail is not grass

Today at 9:42 from 360 Safe Browser

Sorry to keep you waiting, the fourth issue of "Yutangchun" is ready to go. The main creators are the same as the previous issue. The other version circulated before is made by alien creatures. As the only authorized planner of this drama, I solemnly express that only I am responsible for this version produced by the crew, and I will not comment on the rest. We will see you on Monday, thank you very much. "

"Hahaha, does the alien creature refer to Qin Guangling? It seems that the rumors are true, and he made the other version of the ending chapter privately."

"I wonder if he re-formed a crew or just replaced the sound track with the original demo? It's only been less than a month since he came back. It's not so fast to form a crew."

"It must have been forcibly snatched from the original crew and edited it himself. The other crew didn't have enough time, and no one dared to participate in unauthorized dramas. Not everyone is as fearless as Qin Daudao."

"Xiaoxiaoyuxie retweeted the dog's tail grass's Weibo, go check it out!"

"Live transport

cv Xiaoxiao Yuxie

Today at 11:03 from Xiaomi note

"Meng Yulou has only one Gu Shaotang in his life." Remember this classic line in the play?I will do my best to match the one and only Gu Shaotang, please wait and see!Dog's tail is not grass: I'm sorry to keep you waiting, the fourth issue of "Yutangchun" is ready to go, the main creators are the same as the previous issue, and the other version circulated before is made by alien creatures. As the only authorized planner of this drama, I I am very responsible and said that I am only responsible for this version produced by the crew, and will not comment on the rest. We will see you on Monday, thank you very much. "

"Oh my god, is Yuxie swearing sovereignty to Qin Guangling? The annual drama is about to start! Take the front row decisively!"

"Take me in the front row. It's a pity that you don't watch this rare show up close."

"I've heard quite a few dramas by Qin Guangling and Xiaoxiao Yuxie. Both of them have very good attacking voices. I don't know who will win in the end."

"Xiaoxiao Yuxie is not bad, but his sense of drama is better than the previous old Qin, but he hasn't acted in a drama for four years, maybe he has regressed."

"Look at the recitative dramas he posted recently, the feeling is obviously still there, and his acting personality is an acting genius, I feel that the fool can't beat him."

"That's not necessarily true. Xiaoxiao Yuxie is a regular soldier from a commercial background. If he is fierce, he may perform beyond his level. Seeing how confident he is, he seems to be very sure. I think he will win."

"Hehe, the Yucrai fans are starting to flaunt themselves again. If your Yucrai is so good, you won't be in the ring for three years, and you have to rely on being tied to the third watch to have a sense of existence."

"Is it in the vinegar vat upstairs? You can smell the strong sour smell through the screen. She has no sense of existence and has become a little pink with 5 fans, and it has been soaked until the middle of the night. What great achievements does your family have?" Weiye speak out and listen?"

"Tsk tsk, ls Crab Fan's strength is embarrassing. How thick do you think the third bitch's thighs are? He's going to die soon, don't believe me, just wait and see!"

"Why are there so many people laughing at Sangen for wanting pills? Although Sangen Juju is JP, it is still very popular. All the statistics are very high, and it doesn't look like it's going to be confused."

"Those who desperately predict that San Geng will be confused are probably Yadi fans. Only his family has always regarded San Geng as an imaginary enemy, and the old man complained that San Geng blocked Yadi's way."

"The dumb flute powder is also intoxicating enough, and it's being teased and ridiculed everywhere, as if his dumb flute only produces one good cv every 1 years, so let's just call him 'The Light of the Catch' from now on."

"The big and small Sangen not only have similar voices, but also have the characteristics of love to show off. The dumb flute loses because it doesn't have a cp. If you find an attack sound like Yuxie or Qin Guangling to bind it, you may be able to step down the Sangen."

"Where can I find so many bastards who love to look at mung beans, and besides, they are a block behind the dumb flute in appearance."

"Third watch fans, don't be more ashamed. A whole street has been blown out. Only the excessively beautiful face of your house in the middle of the night can be seen in reality? Many of the photos released by the dumb flute have never been posted, which is not bad. You are middle-aged and handsome, you may not be able to marry such a good-looking man after burning incense and worshiping Buddha for 100 years!"

"Hahaha, Dumb flute fans are too careless, they've become glassy so soon, is it because they're afraid that others will say his dumb flute is ugly?"

"Fan follows the Lord, last time Qin Guangling scolded Yadi for being ugly, Yadi also explained to the scholar bureaucrats in private that the photo Qin Guangling saw didn't look like him at all, and he cared too much about his appearance. people."

"It's forbidden to pick up faces, everyone upstairs should stop."

............................................................

After Xiaoxiao Yuxie and Qin Guangling publicly stated that they would hold the CP competition, passers-by on the Internet have snapped up tickets, and the two fans are also competing to build momentum. Only the fans are cheering for the honor of their destiny, and the CP fans are breaking the string for the third watch The issue of emotional affiliation is jealousy, fighting and fighting in different ways every day, desperately snatching the red hydrangea.Of course, those black fans who like to make troubles will not let go of this good opportunity to stir up troubles. They hang around the battlefield all day long, using some tricky and sinister tricks.

When the 5-day countdown to the release of "Yutangchun" started, someone hung up an audio of a bed war in the most active three-shift black building in District 2. The content was as explosive as the "Legendary xx Minutes" series. The male protagonist is actually Qin Guangling and San Gengxian Duan.

"Third watch string broken (Jiao, panting): Husband~ you are so big~~ ah ah ah ah~"

"Qin Guangling (lewd, laughing): I can't satisfy you, spread your legs, I'm going in."

"The string breaks at the third watch (screaming) ah~~ slow down~ slow down~"

"Qin Guangling (cursing vigorously) Xiao Sao, you are so tight, do you want to pinch me off?"

"Midnight broken (Jiao, panting) husband~ have you all come in?"

"You will know how much Qin Guangling (lewd, laughing) has come in, by feeling it yourself."

...............................

Most of the people who heard the audio were stunned and quickly started a bloody discussion.

"What the hell is this! Has Qin Guangling slept with Qin Guangling in the middle of the night? It sounds like a live play!"

"Don't spread rumors! This is the fleshy drama they collaborated with in the early years. The title of the drama is "His and Me's Hidden Night". This audio is just a small part of it."

"Basically I've heard of all the dramas in the third watch, but this is the first time I've heard of this drama."

"During that time, the Internet was severely cracked down, and the crew didn't dare to post 52. They just posted a network disk on Weibo, and it was deleted two days later, so very few people knew about it."

"Is it really a drama? Why is there no bgm, this is not normal."

"At the later stage of this drama, I wanted to try a realistic style. The part of H deliberately didn't add soundtrack, and the sound effects were also made very realistic, so it sounded very real."

"Not only the sound effects, but also the two cvs are amazing. The rhythm is so in tune, it must be the pia sound of the scene. The third watch is really the most suitable for the cp with Qin Guangling. It is impossible to play with others so unrestrained and natural."

"The reason why the third watch became popular is because of the CP team with Qin Guangling. The two complement each other and bring out the best in each other. Lao Qin retired from the circle and worked with him on all the high-quality dramas. Later, he changed to Xiaoxiao Yuxie and felt that he was still underwhelmed."

"Qin Fan's face is as big as a basin. It seems that Sanyue's current status is all thanks to Qin Maniac. He has acted in thousands of dramas in the past 10 years since his debut, and the cooperation with Qin Maniac has not accounted for one percent of them. However, he More than half of the black fans were recruited by Crazy Qin for him."

"ls It's really chilling to hear the words of crossing the river and tearing down the bridge. As an old fan who has been in the circle for eight years, don't be too clear about the history of Sangenjuju's fortune. If there was no Qin lunatic you mentioned back then. was trampled to death."

"Row, without Qin Guangling, Midnight Gathering would not be able to enter the first echelon of CV, but now he is in love with Xiao Xianrou, and he will never be the same as the old man. After Qin Guangling's comeback, Midnight Gathering has never been done. I have interacted with others on Weibo, and this kind of attitude of treating people like air has long gone beyond the scope of aloofness, and is purely a white-eyed wolf."

"Fuck you! You don't like to interact with people openly in the middle of the night, and you only post your personal daily routines on Weibo. Besides, who dares to talk to Qin Guangling now that he's crazy? Why don't you pity him and ask you to play with him? Oh, People's old Qin probably doesn't like it!"

"Third Geng fans are fucked again. Everyone in your family understands the virtues of San Geng. They stir up CP scandals, and even such shameful things as love triangles. It's really how Sanguanzheng would agree to a double version of a drama This kind of jp thing, I think he likes to watch two men work hard for him, to satisfy his vanity!"

"The three-night gathering actually wants to have a threesome. Qin Guangling and Yu Xie, a mad dog and a loyal dog, are both very useful. He is so utilitarian that neither side is willing to let go."

"Hahaha, I'm a cute threesome, and I just happen to make a pair and a dragon into the cave."

"Wow, ls is really dirty, but do you all think that the third is always the one who suffers? No one loves him as the main offense?"

"Of course there is. The string attack party is here, and my cuteness gathers to kill two birds with one stone."

"2333333 died from laughing. Since the appearance of these three people, life has become a lot more fun. Waiting for the fourth episode of "Yutangchun" to be released, I look forward to Juju's refreshing the three views and breaking through the lower limit again."

...............................

There are endless ridicules, and there are countless points, but the center of hatred always gathers on San Gengxian Duan. Qin Fan scolds him as a misfortune, Yu Fan hates him for being playful, and Qin Xian Fan complains that he "only sees new people laughing, but never hears old people crying." , Yuxian fans ridiculed him that "the two grasses are as one, and the heart is not as good as the grass."Not to mention black fans, they will fill firewood and grass wherever they start a fire, and bombard them indiscriminately, vowing to break the third watch into "the number one Chen Shimei in online distribution" and "catch vixen in the chaos".

Zhuang Xiaojie's full-time job is to write press releases. He has read a lot of orthodox literature to practice his writing. He has never forgotten Mr. Liang Shiqiu's "The Art of Cursing" and has always followed the ten principles of quarrels taught by his old man, the second of which is "no scolding". Those who are not as good as themselves".What I said is that when you are reviled by a person whose reputation and strength are far inferior to yours, you must not pay attention to it, because people of the same status are willing to scold. Get famous.On the other hand, because you are much more famous, onlookers will only care about your words, even if the innocuous scolder doesn't impress them much even with swear words, the result is often that he is at ease, you Carry the notoriety of a small belly.

The real strong have nothing to fear, such as the "Tsinghua Old Dream" who uses the horse to hang people, such as the screenwriter "Waffle" who confronts the Jujus face to face. Although these people are hostile to Zhuang Xiaojie, they face a stronger than themselves The opponents still dare to speak out, defend their positions with confidence, and act with integrity.And the ones hiding behind those eyelids must be some weak and unwilling Luthors. They are dark, despicable, cowardly and cowardly. They dare not be responsible for their words and deeds, and they dare not challenge openly. The vest is their helmet. , fine points are their sharp weapon, they have been committing crimes and have been absconding all the time, just like returning to the scene after murder and arson. He is not qualified to fight against himself at all, so he is quiet and does not respond at all.

It's a pity that there are too few sober people like him, especially those around him.In the world, there is the theory that "the authorities are obsessed with the onlookers", and there is also the idiom "Don't care about things, care will cause chaos". Cursing will kill you in the middle of the night, and the pain will rest in the Xiaoxiaoyu. The recent madness about Zhuang Xiaojie on the Internet has made him feel depressed. Lying on the pins and needles, when he and the dogtail grass jointly issued a statement, which further stimulated this black force to be fierce and rampant, why didn't he become impatient?Since this evil wind was caused by him, he should stand up and protect his sweetheart, and kill and kill the demons without hesitation.So that night he spoke impulsively and without authorization, expressing his position in a rare sharp tone:

"Black people on the Internet have zero cost, but are some people really not afraid of retribution? Please look up at the blue sky above your head when spreading rumors and slander, or stay in the small dark room for too long, and black and white have long been indistinguishable!? "Yutangchun" No. [-] Another version of the production team was unexpected. I want to say to the person who intentionally made trouble, I want to say that you love the third watch, but what you have been doing all the time is hurting him. This kind of extreme self-disregard for other people's feelings You can’t see any love from the beginning to the end, it’s all your absurd personal performance! I despise those villains who use this performance to insult people! I’m not afraid to pledge my reputation to everyone , Sangen Xianduan is not only kind and upright, but also the cutest person in my mind. I understand some people's misunderstanding and prejudice against him, but please stick to your moral bottom line and don't be with those crazily chasing bugs! "

This is Qin Guangling's first positive voice since he repeatedly provoked and continued to instigate black fans. The Gossip Party, eagerly waiting for material, immediately went to District 2 to broadcast this cutting-edge information. The ratings reached a new high, and the audience responded enthusiastically. , Zhongchuang Apple reported a blowout in sales, and the Internet distribution paparazzi were all smiles.

"Xiaoxiao Yuxie finally couldn't hold herself back and expressed her opinion, hahaha, what a touching declaration of love, it made me ignite after watching it."

"Yu Xie's love for San Geng is really epic, why can't I meet such a boy who will never change until death?"

"Yu Xie is so courageous. I have been in the circle for seven or eight years, and this is the first time I have seen someone who dared to challenge Qin Guangling openly. I really want to see how Crazy Qin bites him to death."

"Observing Xiaoxiao Yuxie for more than two years, seeing him so angry for the first time, I guess I really feel sorry for him."

"I guess before getting together in the middle of the night, I must learn how the little cabbage clings to the stupid crab, crying, making noise and acting like a baby. When the stupid crab sees the beauty crying, his blood boils."

"Third Geng is really scheming, he doesn't come out about his own affairs, and encourages others to be cannon fodder every time, Xiaoxiao Yuxie and Qin Guangling are blind!"

"I want Midnight Juju to teach you the secret of controlling a man, so that you won't have to worry about not being able to catch a rich husband www"

....................................

Zhuang Xiaojie saw Xiaoxiao Yuxie's speech for the first time, but this time he didn't want to care, who would make someone loyal?If he is not allowed to protect his master, he would rather be a meat dog and be sent to the Dog Meat Festival in Guilin, Guangxi.

Bear with it, life is like a casino, you have to grit your teeth and finish playing if you catch a handful of bad cards, you have to admit it if you lose or not!

The next day he asked for leave and drove to Ningbo for fun. When he set off, the morning star was still shining in the sky, the city was floating in light blue smog, and the car seemed to be driving on the road leading to the Temple of Heaven. lead.After driving out of the steel jungle, the bright green fields embraced him, and the undulating green waves were like a spring full of clear waves, cleansing the body and mind, and soon the spirit was purified, and the mood was also radiant.

When the sun ruled the earth, he was already sitting in a snack bar on the streets of Ningbo, with fragrant steamed wontons with fresh meat, sweet fermented glutinous rice balls and crispy yellow croaker wrapped in tofu skin.This famous Ningbo dish, which has been passed down for hundreds of years, will never tire of eating. The tofu skin is as thin as paper, and the yellow croaker is tender and luscious. .The shopkeeper with quick hands and feet brought soup noodle dishes in a short while. Zhuang Xiaojie happily moved the bowl closer and took a sip of the soup first. The delicious juice rolled between the taste buds, which made him smile involuntarily.Unexpectedly, before the joy was over, the tragedy cut the line first, and Qin Guangling called.

"Xianxian, quickly tell me Xiaoxiao Yuxie's cell phone number, I want to settle the score with him!"

Qin Guangling was panting like a cow, although he could hear him trying to control himself, his voice was still as terrifying as the dark language of Mordor.Zhuang Xiaojie knew that he was resting for Xiaoxiao Yu's statement, and immediately his nose was smoking with anxiety, and he hurriedly apologized and said with a smile: "Old Qin, don't get excited, speak slowly if you have something to say."

"That kid is riding on my neck to shit, can I not be excited!" There was a crisp sound from the phone, thinking that an innocent glassware had died in Qin Guangling's hands, but this did not alleviate his anxiety at all. fury.

"I don't care about just scolding me, but he actually distorted my feelings for you and provoked my relationship with you. How can I bear it? I poked him on Weibo and he pretended to be dead, and I was rejected when I added him. , I went to Zhuanjia and she said that only you and that dog tail grass have his mobile phone number, and that bitch whore is his accomplice will definitely ignore me, so I can only find you. Xianxian, give me my mobile phone number quickly, If I don’t clean up this brat thoroughly today, I’ll die of anger!”

Zhuang Xiaojie knew Qin Guangling too well, at this moment he really wanted to kill, and Xiaoxiao Yuxie was an egg that loves to bump into stones, if two tigers fight, there will be injuries, no matter what, they can't give them a chance to confront each other directly.

"Old Qin, Lao Qin, don't be angry. I'm so scared when you're like this. I also know that Xiaoxiao Yuxie's words last night were too extreme and very rude to you, but since he doesn't reply to your private messages and doesn't add you, If you call again, he probably won’t answer it. Otherwise, go to Weibo and publicly scold him to vent your anger, scold him as much as he scolds you, and you will feel happy when you scold him.”

He pretended to be pitiful, and hoped that Qin Guangling would give in a little bit, but Xiaoxiao Yuxie really stepped on Qin Guangling's painful foot this time, even if the five shadows of wind, fire, earth, water and thunder shot at the same time, it would be difficult to seal the power of ten tails in his body .

"Xianxian, don't persuade me, Xiaoxiao Yuxie just wanted to provoke me to scold him on Weibo, he is a coward and useless, he only hides in the distance and spouts blood, I want to make an appointment with him on the spot, See whether his mouth is tough or Lao Tzu's fist!"

"Old Qin, why are you bothering, can I beg you not to make trouble again? I'm really going to be driven crazy by you."

Zhuang Xiaojie uttered the truth in desperation, which was undoubtedly a blow to Qin Guangling, who was convinced that there was a love affair between them. , both of them are going crazy.

"Xianxian, do you also think I'm fooling around? Does Xiaoxiao Yuxie's statement also represent your opinion? Do you really think I'm persecuting you?"

"Old Qin, I, I don't mean that. I'm just afraid that something will happen to you two. You listen to my advice and let him go. I will apologize for him."

"You really love him as your own man, have you guys already slept together? Did you fuck him or did he fuck you?"

"I've never fucked a man!"

"So he fucked you?"

"........."

Zhuang Xiaojie scratched his ears and beat his chest, wanting to throw the phone into the soup bowl, but Qin Guangling disconnected first, and never called again, thinking he hung up on himself.The short minutes of talking time turned into a huge boulder on Zhuang Xiaojie's heart. He couldn't eat anything, and was very reluctant to part with the 18 yuan a bowl of yellow croaker noodles. mouth.But today, fate seemed to deliberately force him to harm his virtue, and just as he moved his chopsticks, he received a text message from Qin Guangling.

"I'm sorry Xianxian, I couldn't bear to hang up the phone because of the shock just now, now I have persuaded myself not to care about you having sex with other people, in my heart you will always be a spotless lover."

At this moment, "the laser light entered the box, and the thunder rushed to blow the house", Zhuang Xiaojie trembled all over, his mobile phone dropped from his hand and fell on the table, and the few lines of Queshen Mantra shook a few times, and its power remained undiminished.

you!numb!paralysis!An old whore with a blunted head is ashamed to pursue a daisy plot! ?I would rather sell it than keep it for you!

He beat his chest fiercely, as if it wasn't part of his body, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't fill it with any food. The 18 yuan bowl of delicious noodles was still wasted.