inexhaustible

Shang Muxiao attended Papa Lu's funeral together with me.In fact, I can do it alone, but he was afraid that I would be dangerous to drive if I was emotionally unstable, so he insisted on accompanying me.

It's okay to be emotionally unstable.Death is the inevitable fate of everyone. We are living towards death since birth. Everyone will play the leading role in a TV series called "My Life", and finally come to this inevitable ending.

When Papa Lu was alive, I might have some regrets that he failed to fight for his own chance to live.But he has passed away now, and I have said goodbye to him well, so it can be said that I have no regrets.

Father Lu was buried in the cemetery where Lu Feiheng was. On the day of the burial, Shang Muxiao and I left home early in the morning.When it arrived at the right time, Shang Muxiao bought a bunch of white chrysanthemums at the gate.

Those who attended the funeral were all dressed in solemn black clothes.Lu's mother was supported by Lu Yue, and kept wiping her tears with a tissue.Seeing me coming, Mother Lu took the initiative to come over and give me a hug, thanking me for coming to see Father Lu on his last journey.

"Old Lu will be happy to know that you are here, and Fei Heng will be very happy too..." She found Shang Muxiao who was silent on the side, maybe she really couldn't remember who it was, so she had to ask me for help with her eyes.

"This is mine..." The word "student" was about to blurt out, but I changed my mind when it came to my mouth, and changed it to something I like better, and it is also a word that better reflects the relationship between Shang Muxiao and me, "... ... lovers."

Mother Lu was taken aback, she obviously didn't expect me to answer like this.

"You..." She couldn't recover at all, she had a lot of questions, but she didn't know what to ask. If Lu Yue hadn't gently pulled her twice, she might have stayed facing me forever.

At this time, other people came, and Lu Yue nodded towards me and Shang Muxiao, and took Mother Lu to greet each other.

"Is it okay?" Shang Muxiao leaned behind me and asked in a low voice.

I shook my head, took the chrysanthemum in his hand, and sent it to Father Lu's tomb, not far from it was Lu Feiheng's tombstone.

In the photo, he has a bright smile and gentle eyes, which is the look I see most often.More than ten years have passed in a blink of an eye, and I am already in my 30s, but they will always stay at 20 years old.

"Is this your roommate?" Shang Muxiao softly read the epitaph on the tombstone, "Don't be sad, I finally found out the truth of the will."

I smiled slightly: "This is probably the truth that everyone who studies philosophy wants to know."

It is also an eternal mystery that cannot be solved so far.

Feeling that Shang Muxiao kept looking at me without speaking, I turned my head strangely and asked, "What's the matter?"

He didn't speak, and looked at me for a while, then looked away, stared at Lu Feiheng in the photo and said, "It's nothing."

After the funeral, Mother Lu was a little emotional, and everyone gathered around to comfort her.With so many people, it was not my turn. Seeing that I couldn't help, I talked to Lu Yue and prepared to leave.

While paying attention to her mother, she hurriedly said goodbye to me, and when Shang Muxiao and I walked more than ten meters away, I heard her calling me from behind.

"Beijiao." Panting, she ran over, grabbed my arm, glanced at Shang Muxiao, and asked in a low voice, "Actually, I've wanted to ask since before, but I've never been sure. Is my brother... Same as you?"

I was a little surprised and didn't know how to answer.

"This matter has been on my mind for more than ten years. I...I have no other intentions, but I want to know my brother more. I don't want to see him in the future, and I don't even know what kind of person he is." She After crying just now, the rims of his eyes were still red, but when he talked about Lu Feiheng now, he couldn't help but shed tears again.

I hurriedly touched my pocket with my free hand, only to find that unfortunately, I didn't bring a tissue today.

At this time, an arm stretched out from one side, holding a tissue in his hand, and handed it to Lu Yue.

Lu Yue accepted it thankfully, and after wiping away her tears, her mood stabilized.

Shang Muxiao finished delivering the tissues, told me to wait for me outside, and then walked towards the gate of the cemetery.

I always felt that he was weird from the very beginning.Could it be that the bad weather and attending the funeral reminded him of his childhood?

Hesitantly looking away, I faced Lu Yue again. Thinking of her question, I couldn't help but sighed deeply.

"I don't know." Her question was once my question, "I also want to tell you what kind of person he is, but he never mentioned it to me, and I have no way of knowing."

Lu Yue looked a little disappointed: "I'm sorry, thank you...thank you."

I shook my head: "Take care of Auntie and myself, so that Uncle and Feiheng can rest assured."

"You too, take care of yourself." Lu Yue struggled a little, but she probably felt that she had said a lot today, so she just let it go, "For a long time, my parents were very They are concerned about your recent situation, but they are afraid to contact you. They are afraid that you will be burdened, and they are also afraid that when you see them, you will think of Feiheng and think of a car accident."

I opened my mouth, and my throat felt uncomfortable like a stone was choked.I never knew they had such worries about me.

"My mother was so surprised at the moment, and she will be happy for you when she thinks about it. It's really great that you have stood up now and have a lover." Lu Yue patted me on the shoulder and let me Be careful on the road, then turn around and walk back.

I watched her back for a long time, and when she returned to Mother Lu, I moved and headed in the opposite direction.

When I returned to the parking lot, I saw Shang Muxiao smoking a cigarette standing beside a trash can.

He knows that I don't like it, and now he doesn't smoke much in front of me.But the addiction is hard to get rid of, and sometimes I will smoke secretly.Can't see it, but can smell it.

As soon as he put the cigarette to his mouth, seeing that I was back, he immediately extinguished the cigarette and threw it into the trash can.

"Let's chat so soon?" Xiao ran over, with his hands in his pockets, and he walked towards the parking space with me.

"Yeah." He looked normal, and I just thought it was my own carelessness.

He didn't ask me about Lu Feiheng all the way. I thought he didn't care, so I didn't explain.I talked about the school, he talked about the training, and the topics of the conversation were very light.

When he returned to Qingwan and entered the community, he said he wanted to rest, so he came to see me at night, said goodbye to me and went back to his own place.

I still have to read the students' papers in the afternoon and give them comments on revisions, so that's fine, without disturbing each other.

After reading the paper, I saw four o'clock, and seeing that it was almost time, I turned off the computer, got up and prepared to cook.When I passed the gate, I heard someone press the password outside. I knew it was Shang Muxiao, so I went to help him open the door.

Shang Muxiao kept pressing the password, froze for a moment, then lowered his head and came in to change his shoes.

"How are you resting?" He didn't know how he fell asleep, and he still looked not very energetic, but it might be because he was drowsy and not fully awake.

"good."

I turned around and walked towards the kitchen: "You play games for a while, I'll cook."

First, she smelled a strong smell of smoke, and then she was suddenly hugged from behind.Shang Muxiao's chin rested on my shoulder, and his lips pressed against my neck.

"I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I can't help it... I spent the afternoon, the whole afternoon trying to suppress this emotion, but it didn't work."

All his breath hit the back of my ear, numb and itchy, making me subconsciously want to avoid it.

He felt it and held me tighter, preventing me from going anywhere.

I pressed his hand and asked, "I thought you were wrong this morning, what's wrong?"

He remained silent for a long time without speaking, but kept rubbing the tip of his nose against my neck, which made my heart beat fast.

"What happened?" I asked again.

This time he finally spoke.

"Why do so many people like you? I really want to hide you, in a cave where no one can find you, and let you be my own treasure." He was wronged and unwilling, "You can't ...is it just me?"

Sure enough, it was because of Lu Feiheng.He must have misunderstood my relationship with Lu Feiheng.

He actually endured it for an afternoon, which can be regarded as an improvement. In the past, he might not be able to bear it and go home.

"You mean Lu Feiheng? How do you know he likes me?"

"Because if even her sister doubts whether he is gay, then he must be. A man who is sexually male has been with you day and night for three years. Unless he has some special hobbies, he will never be indifferent to you." Shang Muxiao plausibly , "And the way you look at his tombstone is different, you know he likes you, don't you?" After that, he put his mouth on my earlobe and bit it gently.

I shivered, my body was hot from him.

"It's just... just my guess. Before he passed away, we were just friends." My voice was unsteady.

Even if Lu Feiheng really likes me, it doesn't mean anything.He's gone, and I don't make assumptions about things that never happened and things that can't be changed.

"If he's still alive, you'll be his." But obviously Shang Muxiao doesn't think so. Sometimes he's more pessimistic than me, and he always likes to think things in a direction that's not good for him.

It is very nerve-wracking.

"No if." I said.

He dropped a string of soft kisses on my neck, his embrace was looser than before, and his voice sounded less urgent.

"Really?"

"Really." I followed his hair and said, "There is no if, I only like you. I only like Shang Muxiao."

He was very happy to be shunned by me, and finally laughed.

"Say it again."

I satisfied him: "I only like Shang Muxiao."

"Say it again."

"I only like Shang Muxiao..."

In the end, I didn't know how many times I said it. He didn't let me go until my mouth was dry and the sky was about to darken.

Seeing that he recovered, I told him that he should speak up immediately if he has any problems in the future, and don't keep it in his heart.

He thought for a while and said, "But I'm afraid you think I'm ignorant."

When he was acting aggressive, I felt a headache for his being unreasonable, but now that he is being good, I feel sorry for him for being too sensible.

Humans are such creatures that it is hard to be satisfied.

"It's okay, at your age, you don't have to be very sensible." I kissed the corner of his lips and said.