you say, bamboo horse

? ”

"Ah—Hello, Uncle Li."

Uncle Li looked at Wang Xian lovingly: "The older you are, the more sensible you are. Come to Uncle's house to play when you have time!"

Wang Xian nodded with a smile.

When he walked under the sweet-scented osmanthus tree, Xie Yiyang had already turned around, still with a warm and clean smile, and still with his favorite eyes.

Wang Xian suddenly stepped forward and hugged Xie Yiyang, sullenly, and said aggrievedly: "I don't know why Li Jiangle fell, I don't know how Li Jiangle fell, and I don't know how Li Jiangle fell. Where did he fall. Obviously he was playing well by himself before, I don’t know why he fell when I was just going out to buy soy sauce, I really don’t know..."

Like a belated grievance, Wang started to cry while talking.From Li Jiangle's fall, to the seniors in the same dormitory at school, and then talking about being teased by Tang Hao, and Xie Yiyang's indifference.

And the crying sound also changed from a subdued sob at the beginning to a loud cry later, it seemed that suddenly, Wang Xian went back to the past, back to the mischievous, willful fairy when he was a child.

Xie Yiyang also went from being confused and flustered at the beginning to coaxing and comforting in a low voice.

Fortunately, Wang Xian always carried the keys of this house with him, and Xie Yiyang also pulled Wang Xian back to the house in time, otherwise, he would definitely be surrounded by old and new neighbors in the community.

☆、Chapter 54

The curtains are still drawn, a somewhat dim living room.Only this time, the person standing in the room was no longer Wang Xian alone, but also a long-lost Xie Yiyang who was also familiar with this place.

"...Well, yes. He will be with me first...it's okay, don't worry...our friends will go out to eat in the evening, auntie don't worry...that's fine, see you later, auntie."

After hanging up the phone, Xie Yiyang turned to look at Mr. Wang who was sitting cross-legged on the sofa.

"My aunt just called."

"Oh."

"Auntie is actually quite worried about you."

Xie Yiyang originally thought that Mr. Wang would continue to be indifferent, but unexpectedly, Mr. Wang suddenly raised his head and looked directly into Xie Yiyang's eyes: "Do you think so? Do you think she is worried about me?"

Xie Yiyang opened his mouth, finally went to sit next to Wang Xian, and patted Wang Xian on the shoulder.

"Auntie is worried about you for sure. You are his child born in October, watching you grow up, watching you learn to speak, learn to walk, and in the future, I will watch you get married and start a business. You have been wronged and sad , how could auntie not be worried, and how could she not care. There is no mother who does not love her child..."

"If she loved me, she wouldn't be transferred so quickly when she divorced my dad, and she wouldn't have a child with another man so quickly, and then get married and have children. If she loved me, she wouldn't have been when I was a child, then Frequently not at home, leaving me alone at home, and even going to your house for dinner. If she loves me, she will know that her son fell in love with a same-sex person very early, and has always liked it. It is impossible to marry and have children.”

Xie Yiyang looked at Wang Xian's slightly red eyes, stubborn and bright.But his words were surprisingly calm.Xie Yiyang felt that he couldn't refute every word Wang Xian said, and he couldn't find the right words to reply Wang Xian.In the end, he could only hold Wang Xian lightly, and sighed in Wang Xian's ear, "I'm sorry."

Maybe it's because he hasn't been with Wang Xian for a long time, Xie Yiyang feels that even though Wang Xian looks very calm at the moment, Xie Yiyang can feel the long-lost, belongs to Wang Xian's publicity.

Xie Yiyang hugged Wang Xian and gently hugged him.

"everything will be fine……"

"If you can't live well now, how can you talk about the future?"

Wang Xian looked at the light from the gap between the curtains, and said softly: "Xie Yiyang, I don't think it will be better in the future, because I am not well now. I am too weak. Xie Yiyang, I am too weak."

"It's just because you haven't grown up yet, you won't be so weak all the time. You will be so dazzling that everyone looks up..."

"Are you going to talk about your last life again? Do you want to talk about how I was enviable in the last life? Xie Yiyang, can you stop treating me like a child? Can you live in reality and face it seriously? The real me in reality?"

Xie Yiyang was a little taken aback, did Mr. Wang still think that his confession back then was a story?Some even resent their concern for the previous life?Could it be that he gave Mr. Wang the impression that he has been living in a fictional fantasy?Never even faced the real Mr. Wang?

But at this moment, Wang Xian opened the distance between himself and Xie Yiyang, and took advantage of the opportunity to push Xie Yiyang down on the sofa.Wang supported his arms first, looked at Xie Yiyang, and said seriously: "Don't tell me what my last life was like. I don't care. Xie Yiyang. I just want you to be with me in this life. Just like you As far as I know, I like you, the kind of liking I want to marry you as my wife, the kind of liking I want to hug you and sleep with you every night. This kind of liking has not changed since the day I understood my feelings. "

Xie Yiyang was a little afraid to look Wang Xian in the eye - he knew what Wang Xian said, and he always understood that he didn't care about Wang Xian, but he cared too much about Wang Xian, so he kept struggling and wanted to Let Wang Xian return to the trajectory of the previous life, and want Wang Xian to have a perfect life.Sometimes, even Xie Yiyang himself can't tell what the meaning of doing this is, and he can't explain why, but it almost becomes his obsession.

And every time Xie Yiyang thought he would help Wang Xian return to the track of a happy life, the reality was always the opposite.Every time, no matter what he did, Wang Xian would go further and further away from the trajectory of his previous life.Sometimes he even doubted why he lived this life again?Is it just to let Mr. Wang have a different life and live a more miserable life than the previous one?

Seeing Xie Yiyang who was stunned and silent, Wang Xian bent down and kissed Xie Yiyang's lips.

As for Xie Yiyang, he couldn't refuse at all.

The lingering kiss made Wang Xian a little breathless, but even though his body responded, he did not take any further action.

He just leaned on Xie Yiyang, hugged him tightly, and said in a hoarse voice: "Xie Yiyang, I like you, and I want to be with you like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to like you because I am alone. I want to become the happiness of the two of us. Real happiness."

Xie Yiyang was silent for a long time, and finally made up his mind: "Sir, yes, can you give me a little time?"

——I don't want to fight with my heart anymore, and I don't want to see you in a depressed mood, and I don't want to see your wronged and sad back.If that kind of life is consummated and you can never go back, then I will follow my heart and go to another track with you, it should be fine, right?If it's okay, just a little time, just a little more time...

Wang Xian hugged Xie Yiyang happily, and tears flowed unconsciously: "Is it just a little time, and we will have a lifetime together. Is this the final answer?"

"Yes."

This may be the happiest day for Mr. Wang in all these years, because the person he has always liked finally faced him positively, and gave him a promise.

That night, Wang Xian was always smiling in his dreams.

That day passed, until the Chinese New Year, Mr. Wang was still playing with Lele at home.Occasionally, I will visit relatives and friends with Jiang Lan and Li Dong, or sit with relatives and friends who come to visit.But during this period, Mr. Wang never received a call from Xie Yiyang.

Wang Xian didn't know how long Xie Yiyang was talking about.He knew that he should trust Xie Yiyang more, but he hasn't called Xie Yiyang for so long...

"Hello? Da Xian'er?"

"Sister Yijia."

"Let's come out and get together this afternoon."

Wang first looked at the time: "Okay. I will come out at about 01:30 in the afternoon. Is this time okay? As for the location...or is it in a small park?"

Xie Yijia on the phone seemed to pause for a while, and then replied: "Okay, see you later."

As soon as I hung up the phone, I heard Jiang Lan's voice——

"Do you want to go out to meet friends? Remember to wear thicker clothes, and let me know in advance if you don't come back at night."

"Ah."

In response to Jiang Lan's words, Wang Xian put on his coat and went out.

When we arrived at the small park, we soon met Xie Yijia, but... Xie Yijia looked at him a little strangely.

The two hadn't seen each other for a long time, and there was still some silence when they met for the first time.Finally, Wang Xian and Xie Yijia went to the book bar they had been to before.

After ordering something, they sat facing each other, and after a long silence, it was Xie Yijia who spoke first: "Da Xian'er, did you like Xie Yiyang at the beginning, was it because of what I said?"

Wang Xian looked at Xie Yijia with some doubts, not quite sure what it meant.

"Back then, I had just entered the pit not long ago, and I dragged you about you and Xie Yiyang, and finally said irresponsibly, 'There is no doubt at all, you must like my brother'. In fact, I have been thinking recently, is it because of me? Misleading, that makes you feel that you like Xie Yiyang, like men."

Wang Xian was a little surprised: "Sister Yijia, why do you say that? I'm not because of this..."

"Da Xian'er, I was really irresponsible back then. I forced you to share my interests and hobbies with you. I forcibly added things I liked to you, and even helped you chase Xie Yiyang... Back then I am indeed too young, and I have not considered the consequences. Here, I solemnly say sorry to you. "

Wang Xian looked at Xie Yijia in astonishment, not quite understanding what happened to Xie Yijia all of a sudden.

Xie Yijia ignored Mr. Wang's astonishment, and still said seriously: "Before the college entrance examination, I asked you to separate from Xie Yiyang and not to contact Xie Yiyang. It is true that I am not mature enough, but from the perspective of Xie Yiyang's sister, I really don't regret it. Even if you blame me, if you do it again, I might still do it, but it won't be so direct, it won't hurt so much..."

Wang Xian waved his hand to stop Xie Yijia from continuing to say.

"Sister Yijia, I don't know why you suddenly said this. But who I like is not determined by a word of yours. If you feel guilty because of this, you really don't have to. My own feelings, I know it myself."

It just so happened that the waiter came over with drinks at this time, and Wang Xian stopped talking temporarily.

"Hello, excuse me, the water you ordered is ready. Please use it slowly."

After the waiter left, Wang Xian continued: "As for the time before the college entrance examination, I couldn't resist contacting Xie Yiyang later. So, this actually doesn't have any effect. Sister Yijia doesn't need to have any psychological burden because of this. I am As an adult, I understand my feelings."

Xie Yijia looked at Wang Xian with complicated eyes, seemed to want to say something, but held back.

"Don't just talk about me. The last time I saw Sister Yijia and Dahuang waiting for Xie Yiyang at the school gate, it must have been together for a while, right?"

Speaking of Huang Junyi, Xie Yijia felt a little relieved.The two chatted about Huang Junyi, and the atmosphere improved a lot.After all, he was a playmate who grew up in a small community, and after the chat, he felt that he was much more natural than before.

Before finally leaving, Xie Yijia asked Mr. Wang: "Have you thought about the difficulties you will encounter when you are with the same sex?"

Wang first imagined the beauty of living with Xie Yiyang, and said with a smile: "If he really agrees, as long as he is here, no matter what happens, I will not be afraid."

"What if he wants a baby?"

Wang Xian smiled lightly: "If he really likes children, we can adopt one. Or if he wants his own child, with the current technology, test-tube babies are also available. As long as he is here."

Xie Yijia noticed the "as long as he is here" that Wang Xian emphasized for the last time, and repeated in a low voice: "As long as he is here?"

Wang Xian lowered his eyes and said affirmatively, "As long as he is here."

As long as he is there, everything is possible.Without that person, all this talk would be nothing but a dream.

When Xie Yijia left, there was still some complicated expression in his eyes, but compared to the previous expression, it was not so tense.

After Xie Yijia left, Wang Xian sat alone in the book bar for a long time.

He intuited why Xie Yijia came to him today because of something, and this matter was related to him, and even Xie Yiyang.But Xie Yijia didn't say anything, and he didn't ask.

He thought of Xie Yiyang saying that he only needed a little more time that day, and he had a vague guess in his heart, but he didn't have the courage to confirm this guess to Xie Yijia.He was afraid that his thinking was too good, and in the end, it was just wishful thinking and empty joy when he verified it.

Not long after the Chinese New Year, Mr. Wang packed up his things and prepared to go back to school.

"Let's go after the fifteenth day first, isn't there still a few days before school starts?"

Wang Xian glanced at Jiang Lan who was holding Li Jiangle, and replied: "I have an appointment with someone, I have to go back early."

Jiang Lan has always felt guilty towards Wang Xian. Since Wang Xian made an appointment with someone, she didn't force her to stay, and just went with Wang Xian's own arrangement.It's just that I was a little bit reluctant, so I patiently asked——

"It's still cold today, so pay more attention to keeping warm when you go to school. Don't treat yourself badly in life, until..."

Before he finished speaking, Li Jiangle in his arms began to feel restless.Jiang Lan took care of Li Jiangle in her arms, gave a few more instructions and left.

As soon as Jiang Lan left, Wang Xian stopped packing his luggage.He looked at the mobile phone on the table, the screen was still quietly black, there was no message, and no phone rang.

Wang Xian lay on his back on the bed a little tired - I don't know how long Xie Yiyang will think about it.I don't know when Xie Yiyang's little time will end.

Wang Xian thought that Xie Yiyang might need to think about it longer, but he didn't expect that from winter to spring, from freshman to senior year, Xie Yiyang almost seemed to disappear from Wang Xian's world.For more than three years, I have not contacted Mr. Wang once.

——You said you need to think about it, you need time, whatever is fine, as long as you give me a definite time limit, let me wait with hope for your return.But the silent number in the address book gradually made Mr. Wang lose confidence in the possibility of that possibility.

After graduating from senior year, on the day Wang Xian packed his things and went home, his roommate seemed to mention the news of Tian He's death inadvertently.

"Senior passed away?" Wang Xian was slightly taken aback.That cheerful and lively senior who perfectly concealed his sexuality died so abruptly with the plane crash?

"Yeah, the plane back home crashed, and everyone died."

The roommate shook his head, and seemed to sigh a little.

Wang first took a look at Tian He's former seat, always feeling that Tian He's death was too sudden.

When Tian He went abroad to study in graduate school, he also had several phone calls every year.Wang Xian still remembered that when Tian He left, he told himself that he could be a tour guide when he went to XX state.He also said that when he came back from graduation, he might see that Wang Xian was already with the person he liked.Or, when he returns home after graduating from graduate school, he and Mr. Wang are both alone, so he really wants to give it a try and earnestly pursue Mr. Wang...

However, Tian He has passed away now.

Usually hang up the phone to say goodbye, not because we can meet each other every day, not because we can meet each other after hanging up the phone, but because there is a chance to meet again

Usually when I have dinner with people, or say goodbye to people, or even graduate from school, I will wave my hand to say goodbye.That's because no matter where the world is, no matter where people are, as long as they are alive, there is still a chance to meet each other.

But if you die...

Thinking of this, Mr. Wang suddenly developed a lot of courage.Turning on the phone, flipped through the address book skillfully, looked at the familiar number, and finally dialed it.

Fortunately, no words like "Hi, the number you dialed is empty" did not come from the other end of the phone.

"Thanks……"

As soon as the phone was connected, Wang Xian didn't even finish calling Xie Yiyang's name, so he heard Xie Yiyang on the other end of the phone saying: "Xian, I was just about to call you. You will be back to Rongcheng in the middle of the month."

Mr. Wang let out a "huh".

Sensing that Wang Xian's response seemed a little cold, Xie Yiyang paused, and then asked: "Xian, I'm getting married, are you coming?"

——I'm getting married, are you coming?

--marry……

Wang Xian remembered the day when Xie Yiyang said to give him a little time, and asked him if he could spend a lifetime together with just a little time.Is it the final answer?Xie Yiyang replied yes.

But the word "yes", is it the answer to be together for a lifetime, or is it just the final answer?At that time, I didn't even ask clearly.

Wang Xian suddenly wanted to cry, but his eyes were dry.

"Sir? Are you listening?"

Wang Xian wanted to answer "I'm listening", but he opened his mouth for a long time, but couldn't make a sound.Finally, there was a low "hmm".

Xie Yiyang on the other end of the phone seemed to be in a much better mood when he got Wang Xian's affirmative answer, and his tone of voice became lighter.

Wang Xian was on the other end of the phone and hardly listened to Xie Yiyang's words. He only knew that he would say goodbye to Xie Yiyang soon.Maybe Wada's farewell is not the same, but this kind of goodbye may mean never seeing each other again.

Wang Xian thought, saying goodbye due to force majeure like a plane crash, or subconsciously saying goodbye to people and never seeing each other again, which one is better?

One is not seen in life and death, and the other is not seen in life.

……

In the middle of Wang Xian's life, he went back to Rongcheng alone, and he didn't talk to anyone except Xie Yiyang.

He sat on the secret base when he was a child—on the sweet-scented osmanthus tree. The branches that seemed very thick when he was a child can only bear his weight now.

Wang Xian closed his eyes, leaned against the sweet-scented osmanthus tree quietly, and told the sweet-scented osmanthus tree his thoughts bit by bit in his heart.He thought, this sweet-scented osmanthus tree that has been around since childhood will definitely know which one is better to say goodbye.

One day in early autumn, Mr. Wang sat on the sweet-scented osmanthus tree with his eyes closed and almost fell asleep.When he felt a bit cold, Mr. Wang didn't stay in the tree anymore.He jumped off the tree, looked up at the luxuriant osmanthus tree, and suddenly wondered how old this osmanthus tree was?How many people have you heard?

When Wang Xian walked into the chapel the next day and saw Xie Yiyang in front of the priest, what appeared in front of his eyes was the man in a white short-sleeved shirt and deep dark under the voice-activated lights on the stairs when Xie Yiyang's family had just moved into the community. little teenager in colored trousers.At that time, Xie Yiyang smiled gently when he saw Wang Xian.That smile was so beautiful that it made Wang Xian sink down to this day.

But now, the young man has grown up, standing in front of the priest, looking at Mr. Wang who came in, still smiling like that.He said--

"You came."

Wang Xian walked to the first row, looked at Xie Yiyang, was about to nod, and suddenly remembered something.

"Where's the bride?"

Everyone was silent.Only Xie Yiyang replied with a smile: "There are only two grooms."

Wang first looked at the people sitting below, the parents of the two parties, then Xie Yijia, Huang Junyi, and Tang Hao.Even Lin Haiyang, the only one who got along well after transferring from high school, invited him

But there are only these few people.

Wang first looked at the few people sitting below, then at the patient priest, but turned and left without looking back.

"Sir!?"

"Big Fairy?"

"First!"

"Mr. Wang..."

Xie Yiyang didn't know what went wrong, he caught up with Wang Xian in two or three steps, and grabbed Wang Xian with one hand.

"First, this answer..."

"Xie Yiyang, I've said it before. I'm an adult, and I know that same-sex couples will encounter many difficulties. You can solve the problems with me. But suddenly you haven't contacted me for a few years. Once you contact me, you say you are going to get married. News, I really made up my mind to never see you again. The result...the result...why do you have to do these things by yourself? "

Think about it for a while, and you will know.The reason why Xie Yijia came here at the beginning is not far from Wang Xian's initial guess.

Xie Yiyang must have come out with Xie's parents first after returning home, and after obtaining consent, he persuaded Wang Xian's parents.After coming out successfully, call Mr. Wang and ask Mr. Wang to come back and give a testimony in front of their parents and friends.

Perhaps Xie Yiyang was really not sure.So he didn't rush to contact Mr. Wang, but spent time and energy, and after convincing their respective parents, he felt relieved to contact Mr. Wang.

As for what to do if it really doesn't work...

Wang Xian didn't know what Xie Yiyang would do if he didn't get the consent of his parents. He only knew that Xie Yiyang had indeed succeeded.

Wang Xian wanted to blame Xie Yiyang for being too self-righteous, but he couldn't bear it when he thought of how much trouble he had endured in trying to convince his parents over the past three years.

Others would like to beat gongs and drums to announce to everyone before doing something, but Xie Yiyang did the opposite, doing things without saying anything.He wanted to say that Xie Yiyang was at a disadvantage with your character, but his throat was choked up and he couldn't make a sound.

Xie Yiyang hugged Wang Xian, and replied with a light smile: "I'm afraid that my uncle and aunt will still disagree in the end, and I'm afraid that you will feel sad because you don't have the blessing of your parents."

Wang Xian hugged Xie Yiyang back, but didn't speak.He always felt that the person in his arms was thinner.

Although Xie Yiyang didn't say how to get the consent of his parents, but thinking about it, it won't be that simple.

But Mr. Wang is not at all willing to come to the church to witness something with everyone—his partner, his life, his life, Xie Yiyang is enough to be alive.He doesn't care whether the others are blessings or not.

As long as Xie Yiyang is here, that's enough.

As long as he is there.

The author has something to say: You did not return as scheduled, and this is the meaning of parting - Bei Dao

It's almost here, and the rest may be extra.