[The Hobbit] Only the earthlings don't know

【Private】【Bilbo】: Colleagues are asking me every day who is the handsome guy waiting for me at the door, how should I cleverly answer that the online waiting is very urgent and life is at stake!

【Private】【Bard】: To be honest, be concise.

[Private] [Bilbo]: Is that an alien who doesn't know much about the customs of life on Earth?

【Private】【Bard】: As long as he wants to fuck me ←.

[Private] [Bilbo]: [/I'll ​​call the police again.JPG]

【Private】【Bard】: Okay, let’s talk about something else.

[Private] [Bilbo]: Say it.

[Private] [Bard]: I found an interesting application today, would you like to take a look?

[Private] [Bilbo]: What?

【Private】【Bard】: Marriage application, proposed by Thorin, and addressed by Bilbo.

[Private] [Bilbo]: ...What! ?

[Private] [Bard]: Seriously, don’t you think about it, there are not many women who are willing to go to the grave with interstellar friends, and of course there are even fewer men, so there are many subsidies, and the benefits are still very good.

【System】【Your friend Bilbo is offline】

After learning all the truth, Bilbo quickly found the center of his thesis.

Gandalf was always right, he had that sort of aha moment.Arwen and Fili in particular were more than happy to chat with him about their hometown - the humanities, the history, the mythology, and of course the stories of race and race.

It was a very comfortable and happy day.

Of course that was if Thorin wasn't counted.

"So he's still chasing you?" Gandalf used some hair dryer or something on the other end of the phone, which filled the receiver with noise.

Bilbo turned his head and glanced at Thorin who was drying clothes with his tentacles on the balcony, and said with a long sigh, "Fortunately, there are people who pick him up and drop off at get off work every day, people deliver meals at work, and people do housework at home."

The sound of the hair dryer on Gandalf's side stopped: "I sound like you're showing off."

Bilbo continued with a dry laugh, "Someone would come in while I was taking a shower and say I had gone the wrong way, and when I woke up in the middle of the night, I would find someone standing by the bed and talking about sleepwalking."

Gandalf coughed.

"Now he's drying clothes on the balcony." Bilbo glanced in the direction of the balcony again, and found Thorin looking at him through the glass sliding door of the balcony with folded arms, and several tentacles were still flapping the clothes that had just been hung up to dry, "And I locked the balcony door."

Gandalf was taken aback: "And then?"

Bilbo watched Thorin calmly disappear from the balcony, and then walked out of the kitchen, answering succinctly, "Then I can watch The Big Change come to life."

Gandalf somehow felt that Bilbo was keeping Thorin as a pet.

Bilbo hung up the phone, trying to stop Thorin who was already rolling up his sleeves and preparing to cook: "Sir, sir!" He grabbed Thorin and pushed him out the door: "I think Kili and Fili need more attention."

"They're grown-ups," Thorin said, frowning, and he spoke convincingly, not fast enough, "to be able to take care of themselves."

"I'm an adult too," Bilbo said. "I'm even older than them."

"That's impossible." Thorin immediately vetoed.

"I've been an adult for years," Bilbo said with a wry smile.

"Kili is 82 years old." Thorin usually only spoke with facts.

Bilbo was silent for a moment, and of course he might have been shocked: "How much?"

"82." Thorin repeated happily.

Bilbo closed the door silently, then opened it abruptly: "What about you?"

Thorin was silent for a long time.

Bilbo's door was left open all the time, and he obviously put on an appearance that he didn't know what to do and let it go.

Thorin thought about it, and said seriously: "I admit that I am older than you, but I will treat you very well..." Seeing Bilbo's mouth twitch, Thorin immediately ended his conversation Long story: "Well, at least I'm not two hundred years old yet."

Bilbo slammed the door shut.

[Group] [Bilbo]: Kili, you are 82! ! ! ? ? ?

【Group】【Kili】: Converted to about [-] here, don't make a fuss.

【Group】【Fili】: How did you talk to your aunt?

[Group] [Kili]: I'm sorry I was wrong.

【Group】【Bilbo】: I can't understand what you are talking about[/goodbye][/goodbye][/goodbye]

[Group] [Fili]: Ah.

[Group] [Bilbo]: What's wrong?

[Group] [Kili]: The doorbell rang, probably Thorin, did you drive it back?

【Group】【Bilbo】: You actually use "it"! ?

[Group] [Kili]: Oh, I'm used to it, we don't distinguish her from him.

[Group] [Fili]: It really is Thorin, Bilbo, what did you say to him just now, when he walked in the door, he asked me if he was really a little old.

[Group] [Kili]: Give him my copy of "Azure Planet—Our New Homeland". What he needs to study now is common sense.

【Group】【Fili】: The one you put at the foot of the coffee table in the living room?I gonna go see.

[Group] [Bilbo]: ...What kind of book is that...Which New Ball published a manual for newcomers to guide you to integrate into life on Earth.

【Group】【Kili】: Commonly known as "How to Fuck Earthlings", I bought it when I was chasing Tauriel. Unfortunately, I found out later that she is not from Earth, so it has to work.

【Group】【Bilbo】:[/goodbye][/goodbye][/goodbye]

【Group】【Fili】: He took it to see.

[Group] [Kili]: Let us cheer for him.

[Group] [Bilbo]: I don't want to cheer for him at all.

[Group] [Fili]: Come on, Bilbo, you know we are different from people on Earth, it will take a while to get used to it.

[Group] [Bilbo]: It's not the same, you still have so many tentacles.

【Group】【Kili】: Strictly speaking, they are not tentacles. Tentacles are an organ. Ours are actually just hands, but they are more convenient.

【Group】【Bilbo】: Indeed, they are very thin and flexible, but they can also be extended to a long distance, and can do many things that hands cannot do.

【Group】【Fili】: This is not the point.

[Group] [Bilbo]:?

【Group】【Kili】: The point is to be able to become thicker.

[Group] [Bilbo]: ... I hope it's not what I understand.

【Group】【Fili】: It means what you understand.

[Group] [Kili]: Don't you like it?I read in that book that human beings have this kind of culture.

[Group] [Bilbo]: ...Help! ! ! Fili, go and grab the book back! ! !

【Group】【Kili】: He went.

[Group] [Fili]: I'm back.

【Group】【Fili】: Failed.

【Group】【Bilbo】:[/Life without love.JPG]