white noise

Sometimes life is not as good as a crude spoof comedy.

In the summer vacation of the second year of high school, the whole grade entered the state of preparation for the college entrance examination.

Yi Teng also put away his enthusiasm for basketball and guitar, and began to tense up, preparing for the college admission exam that winter.At that time, he was always full of confidence in his mind and ability, and he never thought that he would fail the college entrance examination.

It turned out that within a week, he felt another kind of frustration.His frustration didn't come from mock test scores.But because of a casual glance one afternoon.

Just a casual glance, he found that Liu Rugui, who was sitting obliquely in front, looked at the chemistry teacher, Yi Teng's father, with a different look.The moment he discovered this fact, he remembered the rumors about Liu Rugui's sexual orientation, and suddenly his whole body was covered with goose bumps.

He had been classmates for five years, but he had never spoken to Liu Rugui.In his eyes, it is the most absurd thing for an art student like Liu Rugui to covet an excellent university with a limited number of places, relying on the trivial things he learned temporarily.Not to mention Liu Rugui's gentle and appropriate behavior, always caring and pleasing others, he even looked down on him.The worst thing is that he is a person who is in love and also in love.

After observing Liu Rugui for several days, he no longer had goosebumps.Looking up at Liu Rugui in the gaps between listening to lectures or doing questions seems to have become an unspeakable bad habit in a boring life.Whenever he did it, it was as if he had become someone else, whoever it was, not himself anyway.This is a man who, in his heart, can trample all other weaklings underfoot at will, into pieces, and mix with the dust.

This feeling is so refreshing.So much so that a week later, he suddenly felt disgusted with himself.When Liu Rugui cast his calm gaze on him inadvertently, he realized that his gaze was full of guilt and pity.

At that time, Liu Rugui was still the same as now, with his eyes wide open to him, looking at him fixedly, as if asking him: "Are you okay?"

Just last month, a girl in the neighboring class attempted to jump off a building due to pressure from study and a broken relationship.

Liu Rugui's silent greeting, in Yi Teng's view, simply treated him like a fragile girl like a girl.He quickly flashed back his sight, didn't want to pay any attention to it, and continued to work on the question.But Liu Rugui's gaze still seemed to be lingering around him.In the big summer, like flies on the leftovers, people can't bear it.

Yi Teng hurriedly put down the pencil in his hand, looked up at Liu Rugui, and found that he seemed to be flushed with embarrassment because of being ignored, and even the whites of his blue eyes seemed to be faintly red.

"Pervert!" Yi Teng picked up the exercise book in his hand and flew towards Liu Rugui, kicked the desk away and left the classroom.

Liu Rugui didn't catch up to argue with Yi Teng then, nor did he after that.They still haven't met.Yi Teng also stopped secretly casting his gaze at him.He hated Liu Rugui even more, and Liu Rugui became his taboo.

In the evening of that Sunday, the sky was so dark that it was difficult to recognize the person coming from the opposite side.Yi Teng bought two reference books from the bookstore and went home, and when he was walking along the curb without distraction, he suddenly caught a familiar figure from the corner of his sight, standing between the huge Internet cafe signboard and the KTV neon lights. In front of the window, I was in a daze looking at the promotional poster of the film that was released in the cinema that night.

Liu Rugui's self-roll was so easy to recognize, he hesitated in front of the dimly lit movie theater, and for some reason Yi Teng couldn't walk.He was standing on the edge of the sidewalk, hiding in the shadow of a tree watching happily, but Liu Rugui puffed up his chest, went to the small window on the side to buy a ticket, and walked into the cinema resolutely.

Yi Teng instantly felt extremely bored.As a big man, he actually took pleasure in spying on another man's embarrassment, it was really cheap.

He laughed at himself and continued on his way.After walking a few steps, he fell back to the original place.What movie did Liu Rugui go to see?Yi Teng only went to this small local movie theater a few times when he was in elementary school.Ever since the theater changed hands to a private owner, rumors have been heard from time to time: there will be bootleg or pornographic movies shown here on weekend nights.

Of course Yi Teng knew that this was definitely just a rumor.But, would Liu Rugui watch porn like other boys?This made him infinitely curious.

Yi Teng didn't want to go home to watch his parents' cold war, and thought that going to a movie would be good, so he bought tickets to the only movie that was showing at that time.

In the old auditorium, there were not many people empty.Mottled stains can be seen on the cement steps under the gray light, lumps and lumps.Yi Teng raised his eyes and found that "The Matrix 3" was being shown on the screen.It's a bootleg movie.In the era when every family had VCD or DVD, it is no wonder that there are so few audiences.

Since childhood, Yi Teng liked to sit in the last row of the auditorium near the exit so that he could leave when he felt bored.

Who knew that just as he stood in front of the rough wooden seat he had chosen, he heard a somewhat familiar voice whisper, "Why are you here?"

He turned his head and saw that it was Liu Rugui, who was sitting at a place next to him with a look of bewilderment.

He froze.Because Liu Rugui never took the initiative to speak to him.This was the first time he heard Liu Rugui's voice without any medium.

Before Yi Teng could react, Liu Rugui had already leaned over, put an arm around the back of his head, and tightly covered his eyes with both hands.

stop looking.Nothing fancy.Liu Rugui lowered his voice and gave an order, then covered Yi Teng's eyes and stood up, motioning him to get up and go out too.

Yi Teng couldn't move, he just felt like a piece of flesh that could breathe, exhale and inhale, exhale and inhale, unable to think.Because before Liu Rugui covered Yi Teng's eyes, he saw his father and a woman in her 30s sitting in the first two rows to the left.From his vantage point, the two of them were holding hands in the dark.

Liu Rugui covered his eyes with one hand, grabbed Yi Teng's arm with the other, and gently pushed him out of the auditorium.He didn't fight back.Even without looking at the ground, he didn't even stumble.

Liu Rugui dragged his arm and walked a long way, as if.After passing Internet cafes, clothing stores, audio-visual stores, Xinhua Bookstores, hot pot restaurants... until I walked to the empty courtyard of the Workers' Cultural Palace, I stopped beside the deserted roller skating track.

Until now, Yi Teng seemed to have just tasted it.He desperately shook off Liu Rugui's hand, and asked, "You already knew?"

Liu Rugui clenched his fists and tapped lightly on the iron railing beside the roller skating track, but did not answer.

In the dilapidated Palace of Culture, only a few street lights in the distance were on.In the dim light, Yi Teng couldn't see his expression clearly, nor was he in the mood to look at it, so he just continued to ask, "When did it happen?"

"I found out about a month ago, but I'm not sure..."

"Who is that woman?" He couldn't wait for him to explain carefully, and added another question.

Liu Rugui fell silent.Yi Teng had an ominous premonition.

"Say! Who is it?" He forgot his usual composure, and asked Liu Rugui step by step.

Yi Teng seemed to hear Liu Rugui sighed softly, then lowered his head and replied, "My mother."

Yi Teng suspected that he had heard wrong.Ask again, still the same answer.

He frowned tightly, unable to speak because of anger.

What is this golden eight o'clock file?Why does such a golden eight o'clock file happen in my life?For a moment, he didn't know who to project this anger on, so he could only ask, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Liu Rugui shook his head, pursed his lips, and stretched out his hands to grab his arm, as if he wanted to say something.

"Don't touch me!" Yi Teng had goosebumps all over again, as if he had found an outlet for his anger.Without even thinking about it, he shook off Liu Rugui's hand, raised his fist, and punched Liu Rugui hard, shouting hoarsely: "You already know! You look down on me, don't you? Watch me play tricks every day!" Qiang, laughing at me in your heart?"

Liu Rugui wiped the blood stains protruding from the corner of his mouth, and didn't fight back, but just looked at him with sad eyes.

Yi Teng felt that his heart was crushed by such eyes.Seeing Liu Rugui not struggling or resisting, he suddenly laughed out loud like coughing.He took two steps closer, reached out to help Liu Rugui wipe away the blood from the corner of his mouth, and asked in a low voice, "Aren't you sad? Seeing your mother do such a thing?"

"That's her business." Liu took a step back to avoid his hand, unexpectedly serious.

Yi Teng couldn't believe his seriousness, and asked with a sneer, "Then what are you doing for? For my dad?"

Liu Rugui froze for a moment, and when he realized that he was about to speak, Yi Teng covered his mouth with his hands without any reason, pushed him against the iron railing, leaned close to him and asked, "You're done. "

Yi Teng seemed to hear Liu Rugui's breathing pause for a second, and then he was punched firmly on the shoulder by Liu Rugui.

"Wake up! I..."

Yi Teng was so painful that he wanted to fight back, but Liu Rugui's eyes made him unable to do so.

That look was so frank, full of sympathy and pleading.

However, Yi Teng hates being sympathized with.If he fought back, it would be tantamount to admitting that he was pitiful.

He stared at Liu Rugui, but in the end he punched the iron railing, turned his head and walked away.

After walking out of the Cultural Palace, he noticed a purple scar on the back of his right hand, and his fingers were trembling uncontrollably.A sense of loss that had never been experienced before surged up.Walks, basketball, and guitars are all fucking fake.In the past ten years, how could he believe that he was happy and that their family was doing well?

He finds it ridiculous.Even the inquiring glances cast by passers-by are ridiculous.

When Yi Teng came home, his mother was pretending to be calm in the living room watching the golden eight o'clock.Because Yi Teng's father was busy with work, his mother resigned from the factory a long time ago to take care of them, father and son, and their grandmother who had passed away at that time.

Seeing that Yi Teng came home, she showed a relieved expression and asked him why he came back so late.Seeing that he was unwilling to speak, she continued to ask: "Have you eaten yet? Your dad works overtime at school, we two eat first?"

Yi Teng was afraid that he would reveal the secret as soon as he opened his mouth, so he stopped the urge to shout, and simply said "I have eaten with my classmates" before returning to the room, lying on the bed like a piece of wood floating in the sky.

Outside the room, mother's anxious footsteps sounded by the door from time to time.Yi Teng heard his mother's nervous sighs, and finally pulled himself together, had dinner with his mother, and continued to return to the room in a daze.

After an unknown amount of time, Yi Teng's father came back.He heard his parents talking nonchalantly in the next room, and his father's familiar voice made him gag.He jumped out of bed, grabbed the guitar and threw it against the wall.His hands were numb from the vibration of the solid wood piano bar.He threw himself back on the bed, unable to cry or sleep.

The next day, the anger subsided, and he felt more alone than ever.It seems that there is a secret that no one can tell.This privacy is about to burst his chest.

During the class break, Yi Teng lay on the table alone, thinking that it was useless to do anything or talk to anyone.

After an unknown amount of time, someone tapped him on the shoulder twice.He raised his head, and it turned out to be Liu Rugui.Seeing that he was awake, Liu Rugui handed over a plastic bag containing two reference books and a tube of ointment for hand injuries, and left without saying anything.

Yi Teng sat blankly.He couldn't believe that he wanted to share a secret with someone he hated once, and his self-esteem was trampled to pieces by this person's fake compassion.

Yi Teng stood up, threw all the books on the table out of the window, ran out of the classroom under the surprised eyes of his classmates, and left the school through the side door.

When I got home, my mother rarely rested in the back room.He wanted to go out with some pocket money, but he heard suppressed crying from the back room.Maybe the mother noticed something, maybe she just couldn't bear the day-to-day family life, Yi Teng didn't know it at the time.The relationship between his parents may have gone sour a long time ago, but he, a childish brat, never noticed.

He sat on the sofa in the living room for a long time, and suddenly realized that his mother was just an ordinary woman, helpless and trapped by love.

Gradually, the indistinct cry disappeared, and he also made a secret decision.He couldn't be sure that his plan was right, or that there was nothing wrong with it, or maybe he just hoped that someone would listen to him.

Yi vacated the house and found Liu Rugui wandering by the fig tree downstairs.It was unclear whether it was a chance or a deliberate encounter, which made him firmer in his plan.At that time, he grabbed Liu Rugui and said without a doubt: "You help me collect evidence of my dad's cheating. I want my mom to divorce him and leave here. You owe me this."