Youth Homecoming

The bigger the hole is, I don’t know whether it’s the black hole that sucks the roses in at the end, or the roses wither and die before the black hole expands. No matter what it is, it’s just a matter of time, and this flower doesn’t belong to him after all. .

No matter how sad you are, how unable you are to adapt to life without another human being, as a superior animal, human beings are very intelligent, so life can still be lived. It doesn’t matter if you are sad or unhappy.

☆, loneliness and separation

After Lin Mo returned home, under the arrangement of his family, he joined a public institution and had a stable job. He refused several blind dates arranged by his mother.

The fate between people is actually very strange. No matter how entangled in the first half of life, it can be broken overnight.

Lin Mo is still the same Lin Mo who doesn't like to use social software. In order not to contact Chen Tong, he has become even less.

In addition to occasionally checking Moments, or uttering a few words in a few groups, he returned to an isolated life. Without Chen Tong, he can be said to have zero social interaction. How can he adapt without Chen Tong? To continue living in his life, it will take most of his life to learn.

Most of the news about Chen Tong is known to Lin Mo from Chen's mother. He is trying to avoid any contact with Chen Tong. He only knows that Chen Tong works in a foreign trade company and is very busy every day. Hua is from the same company, and currently lives with Xiaoji. After Xiaoji graduated, after careful consideration, he decided not to take the civil service exam. He went out with Chen Tong for two years before going out, not to mention that the girl was willing to fight with him, so he decided to take the exam. Ambition is left on the outside.

On the first Spring Festival after they left school, Lin Mo knew that Chen Tong was going home, so he asked for two extra days of the eight-day New Year's holiday without saying a word, and went on a trip with a bag on his back. In fact, he didn't go anywhere. Just find a city farther away, a little place that is not well known, and plan to stay there for ten days.It happened to be a staggered holiday when Chen Tong came back.

After parting at the station, he and Chen Tong agreed not to call each other. On the second night when he came out, he received a call from Chen Tong. Chen Tong said, "You're not here." He was so lonely that he was almost desperate.

Lin Mo only replied, "Yes."

Neither of them spoke again. The silence lasted until Lin Mo's cell phone ran out of battery and automatically shut down. I don't know how long it lasted, whether it was an hour, two hours, or even three hours.

Chen Tong didn't call Lin Mo again.It didn't take long for Lin Mo to make a girlfriend. He met her on a blind date. She was a middle school teacher. She was not the most beautiful, but she was gentle and virtuous. He liked Lin Mo very much, and Lin Mo was also very good to girls.

And some people's fate, once it is about to be broken, it will be completely wiped out.

The next year they took graduation photos, and when they got their graduation certificates, Lin Mo Company had a training session, and the leader intended to promote Lin Mo, so Lin Mo staggered their graduation ceremony, and the school sent back the graduation certificates to Lin Mo.

Not long after graduating, Lin Mo got married. He and his wife both meant that they would not serve wine and go on a trip to travel and get married. After discussing with her mother, they went to get the certificate.

On the day after receiving the certificate, he told the news of his marriage in their group, and immediately exploded.

Their group has been constantly moving, even Zhang Jingcun, who is far away in the United States, would come out for a while at any time, only Lin Mo didn't appear very often, they didn't even know that Lin Mo had a girlfriend.

Mentally retarded Kai exclaimed: "I didn't expect you to be the first to get married among us!!"

Huluda said: "Lao Zhang is the first!"

Everyone said congratulations, only Chen Tong and Zhang Jingcun remained silent.

After Lin Mo sent the message, he turned off WeChat and didn't read it anymore. His marriage, his career, and everything about him are in order. Is there anything surprising?No.

After a while the phone rang, it was Zhang Jingcun.

He is not a person who is used to calling. He hasn't called Zhang Jingcun for so long. He didn't know what to say, but Zhang Jingcun opened his mouth first: "Congratulations, Lin Mo."

Lin Mo replied, "Thank you."

Zhang Jingcun said: "In the end, you still didn't choose to resist for him once."

After expressing their blessings, they began to chat about each other's lives intermittently, but no matter what Zhang Jingcun said about Chen Tong, Lin Mo didn't know anything, Zhang Jingcun finally cried and said: "Lin Mo, without you Chen Tong can also live a good life, don't be self-righteous, think that Chen Tong will not be able to live because of you, Lin Mo, you are married, let's start again, and you should stop thinking about Chen Tong, he will never be with you again It doesn't matter anymore."

Lin Mo sat on the floor of his room, facing Chen Tong's window, where the lights hadn't been turned on for a long time, he said, "I know." His tone was calm, but tears dripped on the ground, wet.

Another year later, mentally handicapped Kai also got married. When they got married, the people in their dormitory finally gathered together. Lin Mo took his wife to the wedding. He said to Chen Tong with a smile on his face: "This is my wife. We haven't met since I got married, let's get to know each other." Then he brought the woman with a gentle temperament and a sunny smile to Chen Tong, and said to her: "This is my good brother, who grew up together since childhood. My good brother." There was a smile on his face, but the dullness in his eyes was boundless.

Chen Tong is still the same Chen Tong who looks calm and sophisticated. He greeted Mrs. Lin Mo with a smile. Grief ends in old age.

Halfway through the wedding, Chen Tong sneaked out with Lin Mo.

Chen Tong said: "Lin Mo, I regret it. I was too ignorant before. I should stick to it. I should take you away. Lin Mo, I feel very uncomfortable seeing you like this, really."

Lin Mo said, "Chen Tong, I'm doing well."

Chen Tong hugged him and kissed him hard: "You are not doing well, look at you, you are not happy at all."

Lin Mo smiled bitterly: "Chen Tong, you are still so narcissistic. It's not what you think is good, but it is good for me. I am not happy about being separated from you, but my life is not only you. Look, I still have my wife and I have a good job."

Chen Tong was amused: "Then why are you not angry at all? Why are your eyes telling me now that you want to escape! Why are your eyes full of sadness?"

Lin Mo said: "Chen Tong, we are not children anymore, you should be more mature."

Chen Tong felt that he was stubborn and stubborn. Chen Tong wanted to save him, but he couldn't save him: "Lin Mo, tell me, what can I do for you? Come with me, we will go far away. "

Lin Mo pushed him away: "Chen Tong, I admit that I am a little sad now, seeing you makes me a little sad, but it will be fine, as long as I can't see you, I will be fine. These are tolerable, as long as I can't see you, but I think I'm doing pretty well."

What Chen Tong wanted to say was stopped by Lin Mo: "Chen Tong, I'm different from you, I don't have any desire to fight against the world, I just don't want to make my mother sad, and I don't want my mother to lose her head. "

Chen Tong said: "You are escaping! You are escaping our feelings."

Lin Mo burst out laughing: "Chen Tong, you are still so naive. We are not the only ones in this world. I did not escape our feelings, I always knew that I love you, love you very much. But, my choice is that we are not here Together. You choose to protect your love, and I choose to protect my peaceful life, and I choose not to fight against the world. I just want to live like this, I am so selfish, you can find a better one."

Chen Tong thought, why is he so humble to this person?He wanted to tell him that he didn't want to find another one, he didn't want to find another one, and he was willing to wait.

Lin Mo didn't dare to look at him anymore, but he couldn't bear to part like this. He was mean and greedy for this meeting. He felt that maybe there would be no next time. The meeting with Chen Tong seemed to be less than once. He hugged Chen Tong : "Tongtong, you go, let go, I'm a bastard, as long as you don't let go, I will be sad for a day, it's too uncomfortable, please let me go."

Chen Tong was buried in his shoulder, and his cold nose was pressed against Lin Mo's neck. Lin Mo felt cold water hit his neck, and Chen Tong suddenly bit his neck hard, wishing to bite off a piece of meat The kind of biting, the kind that hates very much: "Lin Mo, you are really a bastard. You put me at the end of your world. Any choice that requires you to give up one, you will choose to give up on me. Why! Don't you just rely on me? I love you! Do you think I won't be tired? Do you think I really won't let go? Why are you so cruel!"

Lin Mo said: "Being loved has three levels: being confident and fearless, being pampered and spoiled, making progress. These three levels are progressive. I don't have enough self-confidence. If I don't reach any level, I just want to try it. What am I going to do?" How far can I go? Chen Tong, I'm still a petite child like this now!"

Chen Tong felt that in Lin Mo's heart, he was the least important one. If his mother was with him, Lin Mo would definitely choose his mother.Between work and him, Lin Mo must choose a job.Even if it was an apple and him, Lin Mo would definitely choose the apple.In Lin Mo's world, Chen Tong is nothing.But Chen Tong didn't know, if it was Chen Tong and Lin Mo, Lin Mo would definitely choose Chen Tong, for example, Lin Mo and Chen Tong would definitely die, and Lin Mo would definitely choose to die by himself.

Chen Tong left and broke up with Lin Mo even more cleanly.Lin Mo heard from Mother Chen again that Chen Tong had already brought Li Hua out to do it alone, and opened a foreign trade company by himself, which was not very big, but relying on the accumulated number of customers, the small company flourished, and it didn't take long for it to continue. Chen Tong is also in love, and Lin Mo is finally sure that Chen Tong is doing well.

☆, I went to his wedding

Later even the hooligans were discharged from the army. After staying at home for a few days, the hooligans went to G City to find Chen Tong and the others. The hooligans asked Lin Mo if they wanted to be together.

Although the gangster is a big bastard, he has been with them for so many years anyway. He knows that Chen Tong and Lin Mo have a rift, but he can't figure it out. With Chen Tong's dedication to Lin Mo, even if Lin Mo is determined to break off the relationship, Chen Tong will not kneel down to him. Kneeling at the door for seven or 49 days until Lin Mo forgives him, but Chen Tong didn't. The two don't talk about contact now, they talk about each other less, and the group of the four of them has not made any noise now. Chen Tong won't be caught Lin Mo's low-key marriage is exciting.No way, they are all old brothers.

I don't know what happened to them, both of them kept their mouths tightly shut and never said anything.The hooligan could only persuade: "We have been brothers for so many years, if there is anything you can't sit down and talk about, let it out to explain that there is nothing wrong."

Lin Mo said: "There is nothing wrong, it's just that both of them are busy and the time is staggered."

Since Lin Mo doesn't want to talk, it's useless to say more. The gangster made a fuss to say goodbye, and went to G City the next day. He planned to go play for a few days and then go home. Unexpectedly, he called G City not long after he arrived. When I got home, I said I wanted to stay in City G to find a job. I would spend a few years in a big city first, and then hang around for a few years.

Lin Mo's wife is a very virtuous and traditional woman. She has basically no demands on Lin Mo. In fact, Lin Mo does nothing less. He is even better than many men. He doesn't smoke or drink, and he doesn't even socialize. , commute to and from work on time, and occasionally go out for a run, the rest of the time he would rather stay at home in a daze.

Fortunately, neither of them is a talkative person. Lin Mo's reticence, which has always been disliked by others, seems to be not a big problem in his wife's opinion.Lin Mo's mother lived on the first floor, and basically reserved the space on the second floor for the husband and wife. Except for eating, they did not require the daughter-in-law to go downstairs. They could do all the housework upstairs, but Lin Mo's wife, I must go downstairs when I have time, but I really like being with the elderly.Mother Lin's only request is to have a baby as soon as possible. Other families have grandsons and granddaughters. How fun.

Lin Mo's life seems to be as he imagined, although it is plain but smooth, everything is as plain as water.

The news that Chen Tong was going to get married was told by Lin Mo's mother. The moment he knew about it, his first thought was: Chen Tong must be worrying about whether to invite him at this time. Chen Tong should be thinking, maybe I don't know if Lin Mo wants to come, will it be embarrassing if he comes, and will be read by Lin's mother if he doesn't come!Even after so many years, Lin Mo still firmly believes that when Chen Tong makes any decision, he must still take him as the first consideration factor habitually.

Where is the confidence?He doesn't know either.But he was right, Chen Tong was indeed troubled by this matter.

Chen Tong's wedding was very grand. It was the first time Lin Mo saw Chen Tong's wife. Her grand and flamboyant beauty did not make people feel aggressive at all. Standing in front of Chen Tong, who had been polished by time and matured Next to Tong, it is indescribably suitable and well-matched.Chen Tong would help her hold back the wine, and help her carry the wedding dress. All the care and consideration that had been given to Lin Mo were given to this woman.

The bride's family is rich, and the wedding scene is completely arranged according to the bride's idea like a fairy tale. Lin Mo and Lu Fat Brother are arranged at the first table on the left side of the catwalk. On the stage, Lin Mo's position can be clearly seen. This time he came alone, without his wife. When the lights dimmed, amidst the applause and darkness, he greedily looked at the bride while holding her hand. Chen Tong came towards them from behind the door.

Long time no see, Chen Tong.

At their table, there are Xiaoji and his wife, Hooligan and his girlfriend, Niubihui, Brother Lu, mentally handicapped Kai, and Huluda. They hold salutes and wait happily for Chen Tong who is leading the bride. Everything has changed, the age is shown on the face and figure, the fat brother seems to be a little thinner.At this moment, they seem to have all returned to the time when they were in school, and they were all demons together under the leadership of Chen Tong.

Chen Tong, who was wearing a gray suit, led the bride and walked slowly through the open door. People on both sides sprinkled flower petals to bless them. The best man was Li Hua, who had worked hard with Chen Tong.

His youth and frivolity faded away, Chen Tong smiled calmly, and when he finally passed them, the calmness on Chen Tong's face was a little unstoppable, his eyes were still the same as before, with a slight infatuation, now that he hadn't seen for many years, when When their eyes collided, it was no longer as intense as it used to be, but the heartbeat was still there, even though they had their own lives, and there was another person standing beside them.

At the end of the wedding, everyone in their dormitory clamored to take a group photo of their ten-year acquaintance. This was the first photo of Chen Tong and Lin Mo after graduation.In the photo, Chen Tong's expression was calm. Although he was smiling, he was not as flamboyant as before. It was the calmness of a mature man.And Lin Mo next to him was still handsome and handsome, but the insignificance in his eyes before had turned into an inexplicable daze.

After the wedding, few of them left the dormitory, and it was rare to get together, so everyone stayed for two more days. Chen Tong helped them arrange to rest in the hotel where the wedding was held, so that they could get together the next day.

Early in the morning, Chen Tong and the bride came to pick them up in a car, and they were teased by mentally handicapped Kai, "How could they get up early on the next day of their wedding night!" ’, Chen Tong said, ‘What wedding night, after so much tossing, both of them only have sleep in their minds! '

The bride has a bit of a carefree temper, and it sounds a bit like Zhang Jingcun. She refused to sit in the co-pilot with Chen Tong, saying she was bored, and insisted on changing seats with Brother Lu.

Fatty Lu complained: "It's just his good face. Since I knew him, he hasn't suffered a lot."

The bride knows about Lin Mo, but this is the first time she sees Lin Mo. Fat Brother and the others occasionally come to see Chen Tong. Chen Tong takes her to meet her friends, but Lin Mo has few contacts, so she has never seen him. .She is sitting next to Lin Mo now, she is a little familiar but has a good sense of proportion, not at all offensive, chatting, chatting and exchanging WeChat with Chen Tong, Lin Mo said that while taking out his mobile phone, he explained that he is relatively rare Play.

Lin Mo was listening to music before, but when he swiped his phone open, the bride was surprised to see his playlist.

"Lin Mo, you are very similar to Chen Tong's songs! They are exactly the same. Chen Tong is listening to these songs of yours, upside down, that's all."

Everyone stretched their heads over to watch, mentally handicapped Kai said, "Didn't Lin Mo share this? Everyone in Moments has it."

The bride was still amazed: "I haven't seen two people's playlists are exactly the same."

Brother Lu Pang, the co-pilot, looked at Chen Tong as if he looked calm. He felt that he was used to seeing big scenes now, so this was nothing, but he thought, just pretend.

Lin Mo was in a daze holding his mobile phone, and Huluda also joined in the fun: "The two of them used to get along as if they were one person, people who didn't know thought they were a couple."

The group started a series of youth reviews on the songs in the playlist, and forgot about Chen Tong and Lin Mo.

☆, goodbye love, goodbye youth

For dinner, Chen Tong took them to a private restaurant opened by a friend. The restaurant is very unique. There is a terrace outside the second floor, which is full of flowers and plants, and there are a few chairs for people to sit on.After the meal, the others started to drink, but Lin Mo didn't drink, and went to the terrace after sitting for a while.

He leaned on the railing and watched, before he could lose his mind in a daze, Chen Tong came over, and Lin Mo said, "Chen Tong, happy wedding."

Chen Tong said, "Thank you."

The two chattered for a while, all about how they were doing these years, some were missing, and later the people inside asked them to drink together, Lin Mo said to Chen Tong: "You go in first."

Chen Tong said that I would go in first, and suddenly stopped in the middle of the walk, turned around and asked Lin Mo: "You don't play anymore, do you?"

Lin Mo said without knowing it, "Yeah, what's the matter?"

Chen Tong smiled and said: "No." Then he said: "Lin Mo, I still like you very much, but now I don't have the idea of ​​being together."

Lin Mo also smiled back at him: "Just think about it." When he smiled, his cold and beautiful facial features became weak, and he smiled calmly and peacefully, but there seemed to be nothing in his smile.

Chen Tong turned around and went in, blending into the wine table, and the atmosphere in the room became more lively.

Lin Mo still took advantage of the railing to look out, but no one knew what he was looking at.

The next day, Chen Tong sent them to the station. Lin Mo's bus was later than the others. Brother Lu and the others left one after another, and finally he was left. When he entered the station, Chen Tong couldn't get in. They waved goodbye. It was very similar when Chen Tong sent him to the station that year, but now Chen Tong still has his wife by his side.

Chen Tong watched Lin Mo go through the security check alone. This time, Chen Tong did not accompany him in. Lin Mo was carrying a bag like a teenager. In the rush of people, he seemed unusually slow, a little dull and tired, but he was determined. shift.Chen Tong fantasized from before that he would turn his head back. As long as he turned his head, he would run over immediately, hug him tightly, and tell him, no matter what, I will accompany you on the journey.As long as you give me a chance!However, he has never, no matter how hard or tired, he can chew into it.

Chen Tong looked down at the woman beside her. She is a very good woman. She likes every friend around Chen Tong. As long as he said good people, she would treat them as her own friends, no matter if it was Brother Lu or Li Hua, of course, both of them also like her very much, but for some reason, although he almost never mentioned Lin Mo to her, in the past few days, her enthusiasm and care for Lin Mo made Lin Mo and the others all can not understand.

Chen Tong asked her: "Why are you so nice to Lin Mo?"

She smiled and hugged him tightly: "I am very grateful to anyone who treats you well. They all helped me take care of you when I was not there."

Chen Tong was curious how she knew Lin Mo was good to him, she said, I don't know how good he was to you, but I can see that you want to be good to him.

"Oh?" Chen Tong raised his eyebrows, expressing his willingness to hear the details.

She smiled mischievously: "Once we ordered food, he only moved one plate, and then every time you order food, he basically eats everything you order."

Chen Tong pretended to be surprised: "I always thought that your nerves were too rough to be very bright, but I didn't expect, ma'am, you still have a pair of wisdom eyes hidden."

His wife said: "Girls are very sensitive to everything about the person they like."

Taking advantage of her inattention, Chen Tong picked her up and strode forward. She screamed in fright. Chen Tong didn't know if she knew, or how much she knew, but he was very grateful to her in his heart. Thank you for keeping silent after seeing me in such a mess.

Lin Mo felt that participating in Chen Tong's wedding was more tiring than when he got married himself, so traveling between the two places is really no joke to him now.On the way home, his wife called and went to Lin Mo's grandmother's place with Lin's mother. They were not at home these two days, so Lin Mo should not forget to get some food by himself.

When Lin Mo arrived home, it was really dark. He was too tired to move, so he crawled back to the room in the dark and lay motionless on the bed.

I don’t know why Lin Mo suddenly remembered that Chen Tong’s wife said that he and Chen Tong’s playlists were exactly the same. He also remembered that Chen Tong asked him if he stopped playing. He put the earplugs in his ears and opened them while listening to the song. □, as soon as he logged in, the number of pop-up messages almost paralyzed his system. There were hundreds of messages, all of which were sent by Chen Tong.Many people I knew before knew that Lin Mo didn't play these things, and only Chen Tong would use □□ to contact him.

He swiped it up and looked at each one slowly. From the moment they just graduated, there were texts and voices. At first, it was Chen Tong who asked him if he could not leave. Later, it was Chen Tong who was working, talking about some trivial matters at work. , In addition, their new company was cheated for a while because of their inexperience, and they almost couldn't make it through. It was Li Hua's boyfriend who rescued them, and they survived that difficulty. Crazy talk.From these hundreds of pieces of information, Lin Mo filled up Chen Tong's vacant years little by little.

In the years I missed, I never dared to ask you if you were doing well, because I was afraid that you said it well, and I would be lost because you without me were not so uncomfortable, as uncomfortable as me.I am also afraid that if you say that you are having a bad time, I will not be able to control myself and go to find you.

The last one was Chen Tong's voice a few months ago, he said: "Momo, I'm getting married." He said: "Don't avoid me anymore, I'm getting married."

Lin Mo remembered that night, Chen Tong said: "I still like you so much, but I don't have the idea of ​​being together." Chen Tong didn't pretend to be enthusiastic or relaxed, he let go, it was Lin Mo's alienation that made him calm Once crazy like.Chen Tong grew up, walked out of the predicament, walked out of the thorny forest, and had a new life of his own.What about Ke Linmo?What should Lin Mo do? No matter how determined he is to separate, his pain has not been reduced by his persistence. He is still in the thorny forest, bleeding with scars, alone.

Lin Mo felt that it was hard to breathe, his throat trembled and wanted to vomit, he felt uncomfortable, he felt uncomfortable over and over again, he wanted to scream and jump, but he was exhausted, he curled up on the bed, biting the quilt and sobbing, there was no one at home, but he dared not cry speak out.

A singing voice came from the earphones that hadn't been taken off, repeating over and over again:

I admit that I am not desperate and I am not working hard

But time has passed, no matter how reluctant

no power lost disappointed

Today my good body is badly injured

It turns out that there are still wounds that cannot be healed

The relationship can be broken and then reconnected

Can you be amazed that the world is like paper and get a pair

Can't reverse the direction of the ending

It turns out that there are still ideals that cannot be climbed

If I want to give that palm, I can't climb it

Could it be that years and lessons can be spent in vain?

The only way to say goodbye is to know how to walk

Hands froze, eyes closed, unable to hold on, don't ask to hold on

Learn to offer a wreath after the coffin is covered

I hope you can see through the truth when I walk by and look up to you

There are still some battles I can't fight with all my strength

—— "End" Eason Chan

The next afternoon, Lin's mother and Lin Mo's wife went home. Lin Mo heard them talking downstairs in the room. He opened the curtains, and the sunlight filled his entire room, bright and majestic.He opened the door and went downstairs, leaving only his dead youth and love in the empty room.