lose

Book Title: Lost

Author: 95 years left blank

Copywriter:

When Xiao Zhanning was 19 years old, he was diagnosed with blood cancer.

With an indifferent personality by nature, he can't find a reason to live except his parents and younger brother.

In October, he was sentenced to have only half a year to live. Zhan Ning, who originally only wanted to die peacefully, fell in love with a man unexpectedly.

At the end of his life he found a reason to live...is it too late...

Content label:

Search keywords: Protagonist: Xiao Zhanning Tong Yanxing┃Supporting role: Xiao Zhanyu Tong Yan'an┃Others: Tanmei tragedy

☆、Chapter 1

April 2009

Xiao Zhanning

My name is Xiao Zhanning and I am 19 years old.I was supposed to be a freshman, but I didn't enroll.The reason is simple, I have blood cancer and I can't live long.

In the third year of high school, my body became very strange, and I always fainted for no reason.My parents used to think that I was so weak as a boy.But I didn't pay much attention to it, thinking it was because I couldn't keep up with my nutrition. After all, I was still growing my body.In addition to the third year of high school, they just made up for me, and never thought about it.

Until... I fainted in the college entrance examination...

When the diagnosis came out, my mother passed out next to me.Father, a man in his fifties, had red eyes.

The doctor said that because the best treatment period was delayed, I only had one year left at most.I was diagnosed in July, that is to say, I can only live until the summer of 7.

The day before yesterday, my condition worsened again. My mother came to see me and watched me die from pain outside. She could only cry on the sidelines.

In fact, I am not a person who is afraid of death, but the pain every time I get sick makes me unbearable, and every time I roll on the hospital bed in pain, even the doctors and nurses can't stand it.

At the beginning of October, my grandparents from far away in city A came to visit me, but they could do nothing but gather together and wipe their tears.

My 6-year-old little cousin bought me a thick notebook, and she wrote in it when she said it made me sad.She is such a cute child, and she is very straightforward.I know it was my uncle and aunt who asked her to say this, they were afraid that I would think about it, but I can only be grateful to them.

To be honest, people are always going to die, it's just a matter of time.

I have never been afraid of death.I was born with this kind of person, getting along with my parents is very ordinary, and my only brother is not very close, I know he wants to get close to me, but my temper can only make me treat him well behind the scenes, not in person of.Therefore, my personality makes me get along well with my classmates in school.

So, in fact, when I found out that I was suffering from blood cancer, apart from my parents and younger brother, I couldn't find a reason for me to live.

Man is such a strange creature. When he is safe and sound, he worries about whether something will happen to him every day, but when something happens, he can face it all calmly.

Mother came early in the morning, brought me a few books, and then had to rush to work again.It was boring to be alone in the ward, so I talked to the nurse and went to the garden with my book.

It is October now, although the sun is not fierce, but I still choose a bench under the tree, sit there and read a book,

After watching it for a while, my mind was taken away by what I heard this morning.

When my mother left in the morning, I was going to run after her so she could bring me something else next time, but instead I saw my mother join up with my father, who was standing outside, and go to the doctor's office that was treating me.I stood outside the door and listened to them talk.

The doctor said that because of repeated illnesses, I might not even live for a year, only half a year left.My mother burst into tears on the spot, and the whole office was filled with her suppressed crying. I didn't hear my father's voice, but he must be feeling bad.

half a year?I originally thought I could live until summer, but now it seems that I can only live until spring.

I don't know what to do, death is nothing, but I regret that I can't be filial to my parents. When I die, I put all the burden on Zhanyu.

I'm sorry for Zhanyu.

After thinking about it, tears fell.This is the first time I cry.

A gust of wind blew by, I looked up at the blue sky, and laughed inexplicably.I was thinking, will this be my last smile?

Then I heard a "click" sound, like the sound of a camera.Following the sound, I saw a boy standing not far away, taking pictures of me.

The boy stood there, wearing black sneakers, light blue jeans, a washed white shirt, and a camera strap hanging around his neck, looking very stylish.

At this time, a gust of wind blew by, and the slender hair on the boy's forehead floated up, drawing a beautiful arc in the air.The black hair reflects the dark eyes, like clear obsidian, clear and gentle.Exquisite facial features, fair skin like gentle nephrite, white and flawless, but it seems to have a faint coolness.

This should be a very gentle boy, I thought so.

And this day was the first time Tong Yanxing and I met.

☆、Chapter 2

April 2009

Xiao Zhanning

This boy looked really gentle. When he saw me looking at him, he came over with a smile and sat on the bench beside me.

He seemed very interested in me, he kept tilting his head to look at me, and said, "Hello! My name is Tong Yanxing."

"Xiao Zhanning." I said lightly, not intending to look at him again.

He seemed dissatisfied, poked my face with his finger, and said: "You should do more exercise, you look so pale, why don't you rest more?"

It's not like taking more rest will prolong my life.I made a silent complaint in my heart.

Seeing that I stopped answering him, he didn't seem to mind.Putting the camera down, he reached out and ran a hand through my hair like he knew me well from the start.

"What book are you reading?" He stretched his head over to look at the book in my hand again.

"Waiting for My Gone? It's a good book."

His words attracted me: "Have you seen it?"

He nodded: "Well, I watched it before I went to college, and I was very touched!" Then he said a lot of blah blah blah, and I began to regret what he said.

Contrary to his appearance, he is a real chatterbox.

After nagging for a while, the nurse ran over and said, "Zhanning, you have to go for a checkup."

I nodded silently, stood up and left,

"Zhanning!" He suddenly grabbed me and asked, "Can we meet again?"

Does it matter if we can meet again?We don't know each other very well.But I still said: "It depends on the situation!" Then I followed the nurse and left.

When I entered the building, I turned around and saw him still sitting there, smiling at me, very gentle, very gentle...

At this moment, there seemed to be a little breeze in my heart, softly fiddled with my heart.

I panicked and felt like things were out of my control.Turning my head wildly, I walked quickly into the elevator.

The moment the elevator doors closed, my heart sank slowly.

Will this really be the last time we see each other?Inexplicably, I had a little expectation, but finally laughed it off.

What am I thinking?Obviously I am a hopeless person, how can I have expectations for a boy?

After the test, I had to stay in bed all day again!Zhanyu came over at noon and said that it was the school sports meeting in the afternoon and he didn't have to go to class, so he came to accompany me.

Zhanyu is a freshman in high school this year, and he plans to choose science when dividing subjects.In fact, he is better at liberal arts, he just wants to help me realize my dream of going to the physics department of S University.

So now he is desperately studying science, which is a bit difficult for him.I wanted him not to do that, but when I said it, he said, "Brother, I don't want to regret it!"

I never persuaded him again.

After we read the book quietly for a while, Zhanyu wanted to adjust the atmosphere, so he jokingly said: "Brother, do you know? Someone confessed in our school today!"

"Really? Which girl is so happy?"

"Brother..." Zhanyu looked at me with strange eyes: "Who told you that confession must be between boys and girls?"

It's not that boys are against girls, is it that girls are against boys?

Seeing my puzzled look, Zhanyu smiled and said, "It's two boys."

two boys?I'm a bit overwhelmed.Only then did Zhanyu tell me about it slowly.

"They're in the third year of high school. They seem to have liked each other for a long time. I heard that the parents of both parties finally agreed. Because they were so happy, they kissed in public."

Zhanyu looked very excited, he said: "Brother, they got happiness, and you will too. Maybe your illness will be cured by then!"

He is always like this, always thinking that I can recover, go to college well, and have my own happy life.

I smiled and stroked his head.His hair seemed to grow a little longer and was soft.It reminds me of the wind blown hair when I saw Tong Yanxing for the first time just now...

Will he come tomorrow?

☆、Chapter 3

April 2009

Xiao Zhanning

My inexplicable expectation didn't seem to be in vain. At noon the next day, I saw Tong Yanxing holding a bouquet of flowers in the corridor of the hospital.He foolishly held a bunch of gladiolus, and asked everyone he met: "Do you know a man named Xiao Zhanning? Do you know which ward he is in?"

The people he asked either shook their heads and said they didn't know, or looked at him with strange eyes.Although I never knew, what is so strange about coming to the hospital to find someone.But I don't like him scratching his head and giving others a smile after being looked at with such eyes.

So I went up and stood in front of him.

Obviously, he was happy to see me.Standing in front of me, he smiled shyly, handed me the flowers, and said, "Zhanning, I wish you a speedy recovery!"

He probably thinks I'm just plain sick?

I pursed my lips and took the flower in his hand.

Looking at my pale face, he seemed a little unhappy, and said: "You look so bad, why don't you rest?"

I shook my head and didn't speak.

He seemed to think I had no choice but to show me a doting smile, and then said: "Let's go, go back to your room, you have to lie down and rest for a while."

Then I took him back to my ward.

I got into bed, half lying and half leaning against the head of the bed.He put the flowers he brought into the vase in front of the bed.Then I pulled the chair next to me and sat on my bed.

"Well...Tong Yanxing... right? Thank you for coming to see me." Before he wanted to say anything, I spoke first, how could he come to see me, how could I not thank you.

After hearing what I said, Tong Yanxing seemed to scratch his head shyly, and said, "No, I just happen to be free today."

"You came to see me, is there anything else?"

"I brought you a few books." As he spoke, he took out a few books from his backpack, and I took them, almost all of which were science fiction.

He smiled shyly again and said, "I don't know what kind of books you like to read. I think these books are pretty good, so I brought them here for you."

"Thank you! What is this book about?" After a long silence, I picked up a book and started to actively find topics.

He seemed to be happier, so he excitedly introduced the content to me.Then I slowly moved to other places, and then I learned a lot about him.

For example, he is 23 years old this year, graduated from university for one year, and works as a freelance photographer, but his works are very famous.

For example, his parents are both university professors; there is also an older brother who is three years older than him and is already the general manager of a large company...

Tong Yanxing talked a lot, but I just listened quietly.It's been a long time since anyone has said so much to me like this!

Father is a simple man, few words.

Although my mother is very nagging, she seldom speaks after the accident. She is afraid that she will cry when she talks to me, which will affect my mood;

Our two brothers have exactly the same personality, I have a dull temperament, and Zhanyu is similar, maybe a little more lively than me, but when we get along, we don't talk much after all.

So when Tong Yanxing said so many words to me, I was always very happy in my heart, but I was not good at expressing it, so it didn't reflect on my face.

In this way, one person talks, one person listens, occasionally one person asks, and one person answers. We chatted all afternoon until Zhanyu came.

After a brief acquaintance with Zhanyu, it seemed that Tong Yanxing was really about to leave!When Zhanyu went out to fetch water for me, he stood up and said, "Zhanning, I'm going back! I'll see you later."

I nodded, actually looking forward to his arrival.So I sent him out of the ward, and when I was about to wave goodbye to him, he bent down and fell in front of me.

"Zhanning, goodbye!" He said such a sentence, and then gently, a kiss fell on my face.

I was stunned and stood at the door without moving. I didn't even know when he would leave. It wasn't until Zhanyu came back from fetching water and pushed me that I came back to my senses.

"Brother, when did you meet this friend?" Zhanyu asked me while pouring water.

"When? Yesterday?" I replied in a daze, not thinking about the problem at all.

Zhanyu seemed to feel very strange: "I met yesterday, but I came today? But he seems to be a very nice person!"

Nice guy?Well, really!I stood in front of the window and looked at the sun in the distance. It was already past five o'clock in the afternoon. The sun is shining on the body, and the feeling of laziness is very beautiful.

Touching the place where he kissed with my fingers, I smiled softly...

Tong Yanxing, I seem to... like you a little...

☆、Chapter 4

April 2009

Xiao Zhanning

A month has passed, and the relationship between Tong Yanxing and I has become very good. Since I met him last month, he will come to the hospital to see me every week, and then stay with me all day.

It's just that he doesn't seem to know about my illness. Every time he comes, he jokes, "Zhanning, when will you recover? I don't want to see you every time in the hospital!"

At this time, I would also joke and say: "What's the matter, are you tired of coming to the hospital?"

He hurriedly waved his hands: "How come, it's just that every time I see you on the hospital bed, I feel uncomfortable..."

When he said the last sentence, his voice slowly lowered, and my heart also sank.

I really wanted to tell him that I might never walk out of the hospital gate again, but every time the words came to my lips, I couldn't say them out.

After all, I am still afraid that after he knows the truth, he will alienate me.

Thinking of this possibility, I couldn't help feeling a little annoyed. Although it wasn't an infectious disease, I was still damned thinking about the bad side.

Maybe because he saw my boredom, Tong Yanxing didn't say anything, just said: "I'll get you water." Then he went out with the kettle.

After he left, I started to reflect.I found that my own emotions were getting more and more out of control. I didn't know what was going on. As long as I thought that Tong Yanxing might leave me because of this, I felt very sad.I'm afraid he won't, and I might wonder if he'll continue to be my friend just out of sympathy.

Everything seemed out of my control. I turned my head and looked out the window, looking at my getting thinner and thinner, not knowing what to think.Getting thinner and haggard, but not getting better, even a fool can at least guess something, right?

But, I'd rather he be a fool!

After thinking about it, Tong Yanxing came in.He looked at me with a strange expression, as if he couldn't believe it, but also with a bit of distress and reluctance...

I immediately became nervous, thinking that he wouldn't hear anything outside, right?

Unexpectedly, he put down the kettle, looked a little gloomy, and said: "I'm sorry, Zhanning, I suddenly have something to do at home, I have to go first! I'll see you next time." Then, without waiting for me to speak, I picked up his backpack and left in a hurry, not even taking the books I wanted to return to him.

Looking at the back of his almost fleeing, I can be sure that he must know something.Otherwise, he wouldn't have left in a hurry in less than an hour. If it was usual, he would have stayed for an afternoon...

I didn't know what to say or what to think, so I just sat on the bed blankly and spent almost a whole day wondering why.

It pains me to think of the possibility that he might keep away from me because of this?

After sitting all day, my father came over just after nightfall.

My father is an electrician. As long as I can remember, he is rarely at home, always busy all day for the lights of thousands of houses in this city.But I don't blame him, he is not only for others, but also for ourselves.

Every time he comes at night, my father will definitely stay here with me until the next day, and I persuade him to go home every time.He always refuses.

I was thinking before, why my parents still let me live in the hospital after I was diagnosed with only one year of life, so no matter what chemotherapy I do, it is still useless, isn’t it?

But then I realized that they were still looking forward to a miracle...

I dare not beg them to let me go out of the hospital anymore, for fear that if I am not careful, I will shatter the slightest hope in their eyes.

Putting the things he brought on the cabinet, the father sat on the chair next to him and asked, "Has the child left in words and deeds?"

Every time Tong Yanxing came to see me, he would accompany me for a whole day, and he would not leave until his parents or Zhanyu came over. Therefore, his family was very familiar with Tong Yanxing and was very grateful.

I nodded and said, "He has something to do at home, so let's go first."

There was another silence.

After all, my father and I have nothing in common, even in this case.

After thinking about it, his father saw the book that Tong Yanxing forgot to take away, picked it up, and jokingly said, "Dad has never read this kind of book, tell him about it."

"Okay!" I took the book and began to explain the content of the novel to my father slowly.

"This book is about in the future, a long time ago, after people invented robots, the IQ of robots is getting higher and higher, even higher than humans. Humans use robots to do various things, and then robots feel that humans are too much. Stupid, so decided to unite, destroy human beings, and take charge of this world..."

While I was talking, I observed my father's expression, but found that he was a little absent-minded.

After talking about it, I looked at my father, and he looked at me, and suddenly smiled wryly, his eyes turning red.

He said: "If only you lived in the future, the medical technology of the future must be very good..."

I can't say anything more...

☆、Chapter 5

April 2009

Xiao Zhanning

Since leaving that time, Tong Yanxing hasn't been here for a long time, has it been several weeks?I was lying in bed and it was raining outside.

Watching the rain drop by drop, my mood gradually calmed down unknowingly.Although I am looking forward to Tong Yanxing's arrival, even though I don't know why I am looking forward to it.

It's the end of November now, and December is coming, 11 will be over soon, and my life will end next summer...

Thinking of this, I suddenly felt that my eye sockets were very hot, like tears would fall if I didn't pay attention.

I don't know what I did wrong, why did God treat me like this?

He reached out to wipe away his tears, and when he turned his gaze back, he found Tong Yanxing standing outside the ward.

Although he was carrying an umbrella, his hair still seemed to be wet, and the windbreaker he was wearing was also stained with water. He looked extremely embarrassed.

I was startled, hurriedly put on my coat, picked up a towel that was on the side, went up and put it on his head, and pushed him to sit on a chair beside him.

He didn't dry his hair with his hands. I was a little surprised, so I took the initiative to go up and dry his hair for him.

As a result, as soon as I approached, he immediately hugged my waist tightly.I stood, he sat, facing each other, he buried his head in my waist, although it felt weird, but I didn't feel disgusted.

"What's wrong?" Although I was stunned for a while, I still asked him softly.

He didn't speak, but from the trembling hands he hugged me, he was not emotionally stable.

I won't ask him any more, let him be quiet.So I slowly raised my hand, put it on his head, and patted his head once and for all through the towel. It felt like smoothing a large dog!

After a while, his mood seemed to calm down, but he still hugged me tightly and didn't let go.

I was so strangled by him that I had no choice but to push him to let him go.

He fell silent and finally let me go slowly.I was about to ask him what's wrong, when Tong Yanxing raised his head and looked at me, his eyes were full of unresolved sadness.

Seeing such eyes, I was stunned for a moment, why, his eyes are so sad?

He and I just looked at each other without speaking.

But the deep affection in his eyes made me a little flustered.She wanted to push him away just now, but without warning, he held the back of her head and pressed it towards his lips.

My eyes widened, unable to react at all.Immediately afterwards, he clasped my waist tightly with one hand, held my face in the other, raised his head and kissed me fiercely, his tongue licked my lips, and invaded gently and forcefully, the movement was not violent, but it was I can't break free.

I don't know how long we kissed, but actually I didn't feel very happy, I just felt that I was going to be out of breath, so when he let me go, I could only lean on him limply and gasp for breath.

After I calmed down, my face slowly turned red. He still hugged me and buried his face in my waist, but my whole face was exposed and there was no way to hide it.

After hesitating for a long time, I had no choice but to say: "Tong Yanxing, you, can you let me go..."

Tong Yanxing's hand stiffened for a moment, and he let it go embarrassedly without saying anything.

After he let go of me, we started to feel awkward, he lowered his head and didn't dare to look at me at all.I'm a little unhappy, why don't you say a word or do anything after kissing someone, just plan to stand here for a day?

When he summoned up the courage to say something, he spoke.

"Zhanning, I..." He said "I" for a long time, and only said these few words. I really began to wonder if he wanted to back down.

What the hell are you doing? If you want to finish eating, you won't admit it?I angrily turned around and sat back on the bed, and started flipping through the book to ignore him.

Tong Yanxing was a little flustered. He sat on the bed, grabbed my hand, looked into my eyes and said, "Zhanning, I just want to say that I don't want to be responsible to you, on the contrary, I really want to, so..."

"So?" He didn't say anything up to here, and I looked at him a little strangely.

He took a light breath, then looked at me and said, "Zhanning, I like you, and I hope to date you."

I was stunned, dating? ?But... "We are all boys!"

"But I like you, it has nothing to do with whether you are a boy or not!" Tong Yanxing was very angry, but he didn't seem to mind at all.

I couldn't say a word and let him hold my shoulder.

Seeing that I didn't respond, he frowned, pushed me to the bed frame, and kissed my face again.

I was caught off guard by his kiss and could only push his chest with my wrist.At this time, there was a sound of something falling outside the door, which blocked our kiss.I immediately pushed him away and looked out the door. My mother was standing outside the door, looking at us in shock. What fell on the ground was the thermos she used to make soup for me.

My mother's face was ugly, she just stood outside the door and didn't come in, Tong Yanxing immediately stood up and helped me up by the way.I stood side by side with him, and when I was face to face with my mother, Tong Yanxing quietly took my hand and held it tightly.

I looked down at his hands.His hands are wide and warm, with slender fingers, and he can easily hold my hand in his.

He... can protect me, right?Thinking of this, my mood gradually calmed down, and I began to look forward to his next move.

☆、Chapter 6

April 2009

Xiao Zhanning

My mother silently picked up the soup pot on the ground, and walked in without saying anything. She didn't speak, and Tong Yanxing and I didn't dare to speak, so we had to watch quietly as my mother took out the bowl, poured the soup in, and put it on the table. on the cabinet.Then I sat on my bed and said: "Don't stand up, sit down and drink a bowl of soup, words and deeds, you also drink a bowl."

Tong Yanxing and I looked at each other, so we had to pick it up.After drinking, there was another silence.

"Auntie, I..." Tong Yanxing wanted to break the silence first, but I tugged at his sleeve to keep him silent.

Although Tong Yanxing was a little anxious, he still obeyed my words and didn't speak any more.At this time, the mother said: "Words and deeds, can you please go back first, I have something I want to talk to Zhanning."

We were at a loss when we heard this, and after thinking about it, I still said: "Then you go back first!"

Although this request seemed unreasonable, he nodded and said, "Then I will come to see you tomorrow, Auntie, I will go first."

My mother nodded, and after Tong Yanxing left the ward, she motioned for me to sit down.Following my mother's instructions, I sat down obediently, but my mother didn't speak immediately.She looked at the ground, the air was suffocatingly heavy.

"Xiao Ning," my mother finally spoke when I was about to speak first.

"Xiao Ning, tell mom, do you like him?" The mother's face was serious, without a hint of a smile.

I was really asked, Tong Yanxing, do I like him?

If I don't like it, why do I always look forward to his arrival so much?

If I don't like it, why am I afraid of him leaving me?

If you don't like it, why didn't I push him away when he kissed me?

So, do I like him so much?

I laughed a little, and I feel like I've made my mind clear now, so I'm happy.So I said, "Well, Mom, I like him!"

I didn't see my mother's understanding expression. On the contrary, her expression was even more sad. My heart sank. Does my mother think that it is a treasonous thing for two boys to fall in love?

"Mom, do you think you can't accept two boys?" I asked cautiously.But in the next second, my mother's tears fell and dripped on the ground, but it seemed to hit my heart heavily, which made my heart ache.

"Actually, Mom doesn't expect anything. Mom just wants you to be healthy and healthy. But, child, your body..." My mother broke down in tears when she said this, her words were very soft, but I was instantly like a thunderclap.

My body...my illness...that's right, I only have one year to live, what should I do with him?

I didn't speak, my mother patted my head and comforted me: "Xiao Ning, Mom knows you like him, and I won't be so pedantic that homosexuality is bad. But, no matter what, we can't implicate him! Words and deeds He's a good boy, and we have to think about him."

My throat seemed to be blocked by something, and my mouth was full of bitter taste.I know I shouldn't cry, I shouldn't be so weak, but... I'm really uncomfortable, can I really not be with him?

"Son, tell him clearly!" These were the last words my mother said to me before leaving the hospital.

I didn't refuse, because I couldn't refuse at all.

Because this is not only good for me, but also better for Tong Yan and his deeds, so I can't refuse.

I didn't feel sleepy at all. After my mother left, I sat on the bed until Tong Yanxing came over the next day.

He didn't speak when he came in, just stood by the bed and looked at me. I hesitated for a while, and was about to tell him, but he interrupted.

"Get dressed, I'll take you out." He said this inexplicably, and then helped me put on my clothes regardless of my doubts.He took me away without saying hello to anyone.

I was still a little confused when I was sitting in the car, what was he thinking?Looking at the scenery outside the car window, I am full of thoughts.Since I was admitted to the hospital, I have never been outside again. As it is now, sitting in a car and going out on a sunny day can be regarded as a luxury.

About an hour later, the car stopped. I thought about where he would take me, but when I got out of the car, I saw a green grassland. I can't come back to my senses for a long time.

I walked forward in a trance, the grass was so soft that I felt like I was stepping on the clouds.

Why did he bring me to this kind of place?I looked back at Tong Yanxing, and he also looked at me, without saying a word, but his eyes... were very deep.

Such him, against the background of blue sky, white clouds and green land, looks as beautiful as a painting.In the fresh air after the rain, mixed with the slight sweetness of green grass, under the sunlight, a trace of fragrance emerges in the air, which is the taste of love.

Can I still look forward to it at this time?I can't look forward to anything, let alone love... What's more, such a relationship would never be accepted by the world.

"Tong Yanxing, we can't be together." I looked at the grass, but didn't dare to look into his eyes.But it is always necessary to speak, otherwise I really don't know how long it will be delayed.

Unexpectedly, Tong Yanxing was very calm, without even asking why, he walked up to me, raised my face, forced me to meet his eyes, and asked: "Zhanning, look at me. You won't accept Me, is it because of your illness?"

Hearing this, I was like a bolt from the blue, my illness, my illness... He knows, does he know?

I was so frightened that I backed away, almost unable to stand up, Tong Yanxing held my hand and looked at me anxiously.Pushing him away in a panic, I turned around and ran away.

"Zhanning!" Tong Yanxing caught up with me in a few steps, and he pulled me back abruptly, and pulled me into his arms.

His chest is very broad and warm, because he is shorter than him, my head is close to his heart, for some reason, I can hear his strong heartbeat again and again.The fresh smell of laundry detergent on his clothes, as well as the aroma of green grass, gently passed into my nostrils, as if gently provoking my heart.

Tong Yanxing hugged me and said, "Zhanning, I know I'm not great! I just love you, that's all. Even if you only have one day left to live, I will use this day to love you well... "

"So, can you accept me?" Tong Yanxing let me go, and when he gently wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes, I realized that I didn't know when tears were streaming down my face.

Tong Yanxing looked at me tenderly, smiled, then closed his eyes, and kissed my lips. My eyes widened, and I could only let him kiss.

Although the kiss was soft and not as intense as his previous ones, I could still feel his affection, it was sincere and beautiful...

After the kiss, he hugged me tightly again, and whispered in my ear: "Zhanning, I love you!"

My tears raged again, and I hugged him back tightly, that's all I could do!

"Ok!"

This is my last word of the day.

At that moment, I knew that I couldn't lie to myself anymore, I wanted to love him, even if there was only one day left...

☆、Chapter 7

April 2009

Xiao Zhanning

Tong Yanxing and I really dated!

After we went back that day, we confessed to our parents and Zhan Ning. I don’t really remember what they said, but their sad expressions. I knew they didn’t hate homosexuality, but because of me, they would be so sad.

Do they think that I will only drag Tong Yanxing down?

Whenever this happens, Tong Yanxing will hold my hand tightly and comfort me: "Don't be afraid, they will understand."

With his comfort, I can relax a little bit, but I still have concerns.What will happen to Tong Yanxing's family?

It's the end of December now, and I've been dating him for a month before I know it.I haven't seen Tong Yanxing's family until now.He will introduce me, right?I asked myself in my heart!

I can only do this now