Roommate split personality how to do?

The short ten-minute journey was much longer than usual. Cheng Yan walked slowly, feeling like a several-ton dynamite bag was on his neck, sparkling under the setting sun.His vision was blurred, his footsteps were floating, and he was still thinking about the clues he just got.

Little Red House, Coil, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation.If the last person Xue Zhan came into contact with was really a person from the mental health center, that was the person who put the coil on him.There are so many teachers in the center, which one will be exposed to transcranial magnetic stimulation frequently?

Cheng Yan supported his head, and climbed up the stairs with one foot deep and one foot shallow, a cluster of sparks suddenly sprang up in his mind that was so painful.

The younger brother also said not long ago that he had a headache.

As soon as this idea came up, it grew wildly, occupying every corner of Cheng Yan's brain in an instant.Many ideas are crazy at first glance, but they may be right.Cheng Yan rushed home in three steps at a time, turned on the computer that had been useless for several days, and dug out all the dozens of papers that had been downloaded half a year ago and thrown into the trash can.

At that time, he just had a scrutinizing heart, casually seeing how strong this newcomer was, and whether he was qualified enough to treat his junior brother.So he followed the rules of the academic circle, and mainly took a close look at the number of papers published by Han Zheng in the past few years and the impact factor.It was obvious that Han Zheng was so good that he could be regarded as top-notch in the world, Cheng Yan couldn't pick a thorn in his egg, so he was convinced at the time, and by the way, he had an awkward fight with himself, and suspected for a while that he was jealous of Han Zheng.After he figured it out, he felt that he had to be more magnanimous, so he didn't pay too much attention to Han Zheng's research content, and he didn't even ask Han Zheng about his junior brother's treatment.

Until now, he found these articles again, calmed down and reread them carefully, and found that the hidden line connecting several points might really be hidden here.

Since five years ago, among the [-] articles published by Han Zheng, nine of them are related to transcranial magnetic stimulation technology.A review article on a certain research by Han Zheng even called Han Zheng "the pioneer who introduced neurointervention technology into traditional psychiatric treatment".With the exception of the most recent one, most of his studies have been praised by the mainstream academic community so far.

That study is still only an abstract, and Han Zheng gave an oral report on the relevant content at an academic conference a year ago.The topic is about the combination of nerve interference means and mental interference means. The general idea is to apply transcranial magnetic stimulation technology combined with hypnosis and other traditional therapies to the clinical treatment of some mental disorders.Cheng Yan now has no way of knowing the on-site response to the report at that time, so he only found a diary written on his blog by a respected old German psychiatrist shortly after the meeting.This diary does not directly criticize Han Zheng’s research, but is filled with a lot of reflections. The author believes that some people have a superstition and pursuit of cutting-edge technologies that do not know the detailed mechanism of action, and the treatment methods in the field of psychiatry are not as good as those in other medical fields. Such strict scrutiny can only call on all researchers to be more cautious.The appearance of this article was no different from a slap in the face, and Cheng Yan could smell the invisible gunpowder through the screen.Three months later, Han Zheng left Germany and came to Jiangcheng, but his research has not been officially published so far, which probably is the result of this contest.

Magnetic stimulation and electrical stimulation have been widely used in the treatment of depression and other mental illnesses, and Han Zheng is definitely not the only teacher who uses transcranial magnetic stimulation in the whole center.But once this name surfaced, Cheng Yan couldn't think about other people's suspicions anymore.

Long-term fatigue and unbearable pain further stripped away the layer of rationality in his mind, and the spike-like extremes underneath slowly revealed their shape.

He thought bitterly, I knew that Han Zheng was not a good guy.

However, what is the relationship between Han Zheng, Tian Jin, and Xue Zhan?

Junior brother must know something.

If the black hand behind this matter is really Han Zheng, then the reason why the junior brother was called there by a text message and has not woken up to this day must have something to do with Han Zheng.

Cheng Yan felt chills down his spine. If what he guessed was true, it would mean that he had watched his junior standing on the edge of the fire pit helplessly for the past six months without realizing it.Or even more frighteningly, has Han Zheng done something irreparable to Li Dongxing?

He stood up staggeringly, full of half fear and half anger, like a bull rushing on the red cloth, and went straight to the door.

Junior Brother... He is going to see Junior Brother.

Anxiety made the headache worse. Cheng Yan couldn't walk as soon as he reached the door. He supported the door frame and took a few breaths.

The night was gradually falling, and the stairs in front of him were like a dark path with no end in sight, flattened and elongated in his blurred vision.Cheng Yan shook his head, no matter what, he couldn't see the steps under his feet clearly.Everything around is deforming, rotating, turning into meaningless color blocks and lines, scrambling to get into his brain.

He almost didn't know what night and where he was.

The stairs in front of him went up and down, up and down, and turned into the stairs in the small red building. He and Li Dongxing walked side by side talking and laughing; On the concrete floor, someone was lying there, motionless, with a pool of dirty blood gradually spreading under his body.

Is that man Xue Zhan?

Cheng Yan squinted his eyes, wanting to take a closer look.The angle of view automatically zoomed in, and he seemed to be standing next to that person.The corpse on the ground seemed to have changed again, becoming less like Xue Zhan.The man was lying on his back, with blood all over his head, and a pair of deformed glasses resting on his cheek.

That was Cheng Yan's own face.

He was intimidated.It was not the fear emanating from the bottom of my heart, but it seemed to crawl out from the depths of my brain.Cheng Yan took a step back, and slid on the ground against the door.

He tremblingly raised his hand and touched the back of his head.There wasn't any greasy gore there, but there was something else about it.Cheng Yan's fingertips touched the raised and winding scar under the hair, and his whole body trembled.

He rarely paid attention to the scar because it was connected to the hole in his brain.

And now a fire was burning from that hole, and it was burning through the body, and it couldn't be contained.Everything around was engulfed in flames, and he was even worried about the old door against the back of his head, as if the fire in his mind could really burn through everything, including time.

Cheng Yan didn't know if he fainted from the pain.

He had a dream of years ago that he never dreamed, when even he was just a child.

His family lived in an old house, located in the oldest community in Jiangcheng City, left by Grandpa Cheng Yan.The old house was only three stories high, and there were more than a dozen families living in it. There was a large yard outside, and a tall old pagoda tree grew in the yard. Cheng Yan couldn't see the tree from the room on the third floor. top.In summer, there are always many cicadas resting on the tree, barking endlessly all day and all night.

Cheng Yan didn't dislike those Zhige.He spends too much time at home alone, and it is really boring when he is at home.The homework has been done long ago, he is too old to watch cartoons, and other programs on TV are not attractive.Every evening, he spends as much time as possible in school, until all the interest classes are over, and then he returns home with his schoolbag, sits at the desk, and flips through the books while listening to the cicadas chirping outside.

He was quite content with his street-facing room.Noisy is noisy, whether it is these cicadas, or the porridge shop on the street that comes out at five or six in the morning.But there's one good thing about this house.Cheng Yan sat at the desk reading a book, always partly focused on the window.In this way, if his mother comes back early, he can see her from the window at the first time, and open the door early to greet her.

It's a pity that such days are too few.In the past few years, his parents have become more and more busy at work, and the time to go home is getting later and later.Half the time of the week, his mother would give him some money early in the morning, and let him go down to the restaurant for dinner.Sometimes when his mother comes home early, it's rare for him to cook for Cheng Yan, and she will cook more according to Cheng Yan's request, put it in the refrigerator, and let him heat it up for himself the next day.Most nights, Cheng Yan was alone until he went to sleep.It seemed that he and those Zhizhi were the only ones in the room forever.They have been living together for a long time, but Cheng Yan is not used to it when winter comes.

One evening, when Cheng Yan came back from school, he spent time downstairs as usual, helping the old lady walk the dog, lighting the cigarette for the old man, and it was almost seven o'clock when he dragged himself into his yard.In those days, most people ate early at home, and there were already many people sitting in the courtyard with palm-leaf fans to enjoy the shade.There is a cement pool in the west corner of the yard, which is considered public. Several families love to wash vegetables and dishes there in order to save water bills.It's rare for Cheng Yan's family to get together, let alone to wash the dishes. He wandered over as usual, and when he saw the person who was washing the dishes at this moment, he was suddenly a little stunned.

From the back, it looked like a child, at most seven or eight years old, and malnourished, as thin as a piece of dry wood, with a big and round head.He didn't seem to be as high as the sink, and he kept trying to tiptoe, standing precariously.When he was washing the dishes, he had to lift his arms with difficulty, and a lot of white foam was stained on his little head, which kept falling down with his cautious movements, making half of his body wet with his baggy clothes. Hilarious and painful.

Cheng Yan murmured in his heart, where did this child come from?He grew up in this yard since he was a child, and he is the youngest one. He has never seen such a young boy in the neighborhood.

"Hello." He greeted curiously, "Are you new here?"

The little boy's thin shoulder blades trembled, as if he was taken aback, and he almost knocked over the bowl in hand.

Cheng Yan rushed up to help hold the dishes on the side of the pool that were half a head taller than the boy, said "I'm sorry", and touched the boy's head to show his comfort.

The thin soft hair is wet and feels really good.

The boy was still shivering, he didn't know whether it was from the cold or he was too frightened, he lowered his head and did not make a sound, leaning against the edge of the pool and huddled into a small ball.

After a while, Cheng Yan heard a soft "goo".

The boy shrank back again, and his white ears were obviously red, and he rubbed his flat stomach with foamy hands.

"You haven't had dinner yet?" Cheng Yan frowned, thinking to himself that they are washing dishes here without eating, which parents are so cruel.He grabbed a plastic bag from his schoolbag, handed it to the boy and said, "I have pan-fried buns here, but they're already cold. Would you like to eat something to pad your stomach?"

His mother bought the pan-fried buns yesterday. He saved two and brought them to school but was reluctant to eat them.But it's okay, Cheng Yan comforted himself, the fried rice his mother made the day before yesterday was left at home, he wouldn't starve to death.

The boy smelled the aroma of scallion oil, raised his head a little, swallowed his saliva, but didn't dare to reach out.

Cheng Yan became impatient, so he took the boy's hand and stuffed the bun into it.

The boy took it, grabbed one hesitantly, put it in his mouth, and quickly pushed the plastic bag back into Cheng Yan's hand.

Yo, you are so hungry and know how to share?Cheng Yan was happy, took the remaining bun, and didn't force anyone to accept it.

The boy looked up at him, his cheeks were bulging as he bit his bun, his eyes were extra big and round like black beads embedded in his small face.

He ate very quickly, apparently really hungry, and at the end he didn't forget to lick off the sesame seeds on his fingers, and said softly after eating: "Thank you brother..."

Just like that, Cheng Yan had a younger brother in his life like a lone ranger.

Later he figured out that the boy was eight years old and didn't live in Jiangcheng. His parents died in a car accident a few months ago. The boy's family had no one, so he had to live in the house of his only close relative, his uncle.The boy's uncle lives downstairs from Cheng Yan's house. He is a carpenter and he is fairly honest.But the boy's aunt didn't leave a good impression on Cheng Yan.The woman was very chatty, and she always quarreled with her neighbors over trivial matters. Once Cheng Yan's mother came home with an umbrella and sprinkled some water on the door of her house, and the woman put her hands on her waist and scolded her Old for a long time.Cheng Yan's parents are educated people, they have no experience in dealing with this kind of shrew, so they can only suffer from being dumb. After returning home, they secretly warned Cheng Yan to avoid it if he could, and try not to contact her family members.

Since the boy came here, he has rarely heard the woman scold others.All her resentment and hostility seemed to have a new and only target to vent.Many times, when Cheng Yan sat in his own home, he could hear the boy being beaten and scolded by the woman.If other children of this age were treated like this, they would have been crying loudly.But the boy never cried.Even if the woman whipped him with a feather duster, the boy just stood there with his head down, neither crying nor crying out for pain.

A few times when Cheng Yan went home, he always felt that someone was watching him.He turned his head and saw the boy sitting at the door on the second floor, holding his knees and bowing his head. When passing by, he secretly looked up and immediately lowered his head.He knew that the boy was scolded by his aunt again and was not allowed to go home, so he could only sit at the door of the house.The boy looked at him like a dirty rogue cat outside, full of anticipation, but he didn't dare to approach him.Cheng Yan couldn't stand it anymore, and one day he finally walked over, picked up the boy, and brought him back home.

Cheng Yan didn't know if he didn't listen to his parents.

Fortunately, the woman never came to trouble them. Probably in her heart, the less time the boy spent under her nose, the more comfortable she would be, and she would not care where the boy went.Just like that, Cheng Yan was no longer alone when he came back every evening.He was reading by the window, and the boy obediently moved a small bench and sat beside him to read together.For this reason, Cheng Yan also dug out a stack of comic books he read when he was a child.The boy was illiterate, but he could sit still, not at all naughty like a boy of this age.Cheng Yan liked this younger brother more and more. Not only did he teach the boy how to write when he was free, but sometimes he would bring out meals made by his mother to share with the boy.

His mother is actually not good at cooking, and she often adds too much sugar to the cooking or forgets to add salt to the stew. Cheng Yan was worried at the beginning whether the boy would get used to it.Unexpectedly, the boy didn't complain once, and he was very happy to eat. A small piece of ribs could make his eyes shine.

Probably eating with two people is more enjoyable than eating alone. Cheng Yan felt that the meals tasted better with a boy to accompany him, and the time between evening and bedtime was not so difficult.

In autumn, the boy went to elementary school, Cheng Yan simply walked with the boy every morning and evening.Later, even the classmates in his class knew that the monitor had a younger brother, and sometimes they would come over to tease him and give him some candies when they saw the boy.

After following Cheng Yan for more than half a year, the boy grew taller and gained some weight, and he finally looked less like a stunted cabbage. He stopped hiding when he saw people, and would smile sweetly with his big eyes blinking.

After they got to know each other well, the boy became very clingy to Cheng Yan. On weekends when Cheng Yan took a nap at home, the boy would secretly come over and sleep with him.Compared with stray cats, Cheng Yan now feels more like raising a sensible and enthusiastic puppy.He began to think about whether he could mention it to his parents and let the boy live in his own house completely.

Unexpectedly, he never had time to say this sentence.

It was an early summer evening, and it was pouring rain outside.Cheng Yan thought that he would never forget such a heavy rain in the future.It was only three o'clock in the afternoon, and the sky was already dark, like a dark tent, oppressing everyone underneath.Cheng Yan was about to graduate from elementary school, and was busy with the school's model airplane competition.His father bought him an expensive remote control plane and asked him to fly it for fun.Cheng Yan originally made an appointment with the boy to go to a nearby park to play with models on weekends, but on Sunday, it suddenly rained so heavily.

Cheng Yan held the remote control plane and waited for a long time at the window, but the rain showed no sign of stopping.The boy stood beside Cheng Yan, staring helplessly at the darkening sky outside.He didn't show it, but Cheng Yan knew that the boy was very depressed.He has wanted to play with this model for a long time, Cheng Yan was busy with other things before, so he didn't play with him much for a while.

"Why don't we play in the corridor." Cheng Yan slapped his head and said to the boy.

This building is old and the corridors are very narrow, but Cheng Yan thinks this is just right.The airplane model competition is to test the man's operation level, so that he can not only play with the boy, but also practice flying skills, which just kills two birds with one stone.

The boy listened to him, and of course he never objected.

At the beginning, everything went smoothly. Cheng Yan steered the plane to fly ten circles steadily in the corridor, causing the boy to exclaim.Overjoyed, he let the plane back around the figure-eight of the banister and slipped the remote into the boy's hand.

"Come and try." Cheng Yan said encouragingly.

The boy squeezed the remote control, shook his head awkwardly, and whispered, "I can't do it."

Cheng Yan wiped the boy's head and said, "Man, what are you afraid of? Come on, brother will teach you. Just do it like this..."

The boy listened carefully, his big eyes stared longingly at the beautiful model airplane for a while, and then said uncertainly, "I...I'm afraid of breaking it."

Cheng Yan grabbed the boy's hand and said carelessly, "Don't worry, I'll take you with me, why is it so easy to break?"

With Cheng Yan on his side, the boy felt relieved, and put both hands on the remote control buttons.

The boy was always smart, and indeed he could do it as soon as he was taught. At first, he flew very well. Cheng Yan gradually let go of his sweaty little hands and let him play by himself.

Then there was a thunder outside.

The boy was very focused, but when he first heard the thunder, he was a little taken aback.

At this moment, he pressed the wrong button, and the plane that was supposed to fly back slanted out again, the nose of the plane was still down, and it was about to hit the stairs.

Cheng Yan secretly yelled badly.

This plane is not that expensive even if it is said to be expensive. He can always fix it or buy a new one after he has rubbed off on his father.But he knew the boy too well, if he found out that he had smashed Cheng Yan's precious plane, the boy would definitely feel guilty for a long time, and he might not want to play with his toys again in the future.

So Cheng Yan made possibly the worst decision in his life.

He stretched out his hand without thinking, trying to grab the plane that had rushed out.

It has been raining for a long time, and the corridors are full of water stains left by people when they came in and out.Cheng Yan didn't see it. When he leaned out, he stepped into a puddle of water. His foot slipped and he completely lost his balance.

When he fell, Cheng Yan's mind was very empty, he only heard the boy yell "Brother Yan", that yell was heart-piercing, and even the thunder that was getting louder in his ears couldn't cover it.

the boy cried.Cheng Yan didn't hear him cry when his aunt beat and scolded him severely, and even cut his right hand.

The plane fell right in Cheng Yan's hand, and a piece of the propeller fell off.

Cheng Yan's head seemed to be split by something, he couldn't move, he still tried to keep his eyes open, but he couldn't see the boy's small shadow clearly anymore.

Then there was total darkness.

"It turned out to be like this...hahaha..." 15 years later, Cheng Yan was sitting on the stairs in front of another house, touching the scar on the back of his head, and laughing softly, but hot liquid kept slipping on his face. Down.

He remembered the boy's name.

For so many years, the holes in his brain and heart were all reserved for the same person.

☆、Innocents ([-])

In the ward, the person on the bed was the same as when he left, and there was still no sign of waking up.

Cheng Yan and Mu Mu changed shifts and sat down on the bed again.

He put the bag in his hand on the bedside table, reached out and rubbed Li Dongxing's forehead hair.

Thin and soft, it is exactly the same as ten years ago.

"Why didn't I think of it?" Cheng Yan smiled self-deprecatingly.Xiaowei's demeanor is clearly that of Li Dongxing when he was eight years old.From the first time they met, the boy had been so dependent on him, he even kept the habit of sneaking up on his bed and sleeping with his head on his back.And he was not suspicious at all.

Xiao Wei knew him.It's a pity the boy couldn't tell.From the moment he remembered the past, Cheng Yan also understood why Li Dongxing became what he is now.

Not because of the abuse I received from my aunt when I was a child.Although Li Dongxing was extremely introverted and shy when he was eight years old, he did not show any signs of split personality.Regarding the cause of his junior brother's illness, Cheng Yan had considered many possibilities, but he never thought that it was all because of himself.

The boy saw him fall down the stairs.Even if Cheng Yan couldn't see what happened next, he could roughly guess it.He was supposed to have been found by other neighbors in the building and taken to the hospital.No one noticed Li Dongxing who was huddled at the stairs.The little boy just watched his brother Yan being carried into the ambulance motionless with blood all over his face, and never came back.What does it mean for an eight-year-old child to lose so much blood without opening his eyes no matter how much he calls?

Li Dongxing must have thought that Cheng Yan, like his parents who died in the car accident, had left him forever.

And for the boy who had been abused by his aunt for a long time, so that he had a strong tendency to blame himself since he was a child, he believed that Cheng Yan's death was all his responsibility.In his heart, if it wasn't for playing with him, if it wasn't because he didn't operate the remote control plane well, Cheng Yan wouldn't have fallen down the stairs at all.

As Cheng Yan thought, many serious mental problems are caused by death. For Li Dongxing, the reason why he suffered from dissociative identity disorder was because he firmly believed that he killed Cheng Yan with his own hands.

At that time, after listening to Dong Nanxi's story, Li Dongxing behaved so abnormally, I think he was really stimulated.At that time, Xiao Wei looked at him and cried, "Brother Yan is dead, it was Xiao Wei who killed him." Cheng Yan took it for granted that the younger brother was worried that he would be bad for him in the future, but he didn't expect that this had already happened.And Zheng Heping, Zheng Heping said "Dongxing made a mistake", is he referring to the past incident?

For patients with multiple personality, memory is often confused.Maybe Li Dongxing's protagonist didn't even realize that some things had happened.He still remembers that when he was a child, he had a neighbor's big brother, but he no longer remembered the name of that brother, let alone the accident that happened during the thunderstorm.But Xiao Wei still remembers.Xiaowei's memory stays forever at the age of eight, remembering how brother Yan played with him and taught him how to write, and how brother Yan fell down the stairs in front of him in order to catch the plane.That's why he was so afraid of thunder.Li Dongxing stripped away the part of his mind that he was most afraid of and least willing to recall, and left it to his eight-year-old self.

Zheng Heping also remembered this incident.He represents Li Dongxing's deep guilt, always blaming himself, and even can't help but hurt himself.He is a contradictory individual. On the one hand, he exists as Xiaowei's protector, resisting his aunt's abuse; looking at him.And all his struggles are exactly Li Dongxing's own struggles.

As for A Dong, that violent personality, at first Cheng Yan naturally thought that his appearance was equivalent to Li Dongxing's self-protection.He has an aggressiveness that the main personality does not have, which is precisely a defense mechanism.But now Cheng Yan felt that he might be wrong.A Dong probably did appear right after Xiao Wei's appearance, but probably not for the purpose of protecting Xiao Wei.On the contrary, A Dong is the projection of Li Dongxing's imagination of himself.Li Dongxing regards himself as a monster, so he creates a fictitious fierce image to bear the loathing from others, especially from himself.The other personalities always hate and fear A Dong, because in Li Dongxing's heart, A Dong is the source of his evil.

Eight-year-old Li Dongxing was originally the strongest child Cheng Yan had ever met.And on that thunderstorm day, Cheng Yan's "death" caused the child to completely collapse.Like everyone else who has experienced the worst thing, he tried hard to forget it, so Xiaowei appeared; but he still felt that he was a violent monster, so Adong appeared; the nightmare still cannot go away , a part of him always wanted to punish himself, so Zheng Heping came.For more than ten years, Li Dongxing has been struggling all the time. These different personalities are like different voices, wrestling in his body, making him unable to find a moment of peace.

How could such a person still live like Li Dongxing's current state?

In life, thorns are everywhere and muddy, and the spiritual world has been battered year after year, leaving only ruins, but the Li Dongxing that Cheng Yan knew can still live so firmly, like a flat boat that moves steadily in the stormy waves, despite the wind Even blowing and raining did not deviate a bit, driving out of a small area of ​​warm and sunny days in the bitter wind and bitter rain.

The person in front of him may be sick and incomplete, but it is this incompleteness that makes his soul more radiant.

Cheng Yan thought, Han Zheng can't defeat him, not anyone else.

"You are the best and most powerful person I have ever met in my life." Cheng Yan held Li Dongxing's hand, lowered his head and said slowly, "I still remember when you were young, you were beaten by your aunt again, hiding When I came to my house, I was so angry that I wanted to argue with that woman, but you told me not to go, I asked you if you were afraid of her, and you said no, you just didn’t want to quarrel with your aunt. It's just calling you a heartless and harmful person, the more you want to bear it, don't argue with her or fight with her, so as to prove to her that you are not an ungrateful little bastard. You were only eight years old at the time, and you could Thinking about it so thoroughly, even I have been compared to you. Haha, you have been stubborn since you were a child. The more others talk about you, the worse you will be. Others think you will live in a mess, the more you have to live like a fool. Decent. So, you are so smart, you must be able to figure it out, someone deliberately lured you out of the thunderstorm and let you see the scene of Xue Zhan's fall from the building, just to stimulate you and frame you, right? Winter Xing, The more that person wants to harm you, the more you can't let him succeed, you promise me, you must never let him succeed. "

Li Dongxing still closed his eyes and didn't respond.

Cheng Yan wasn't sure if he could hear it, but he still wanted to speak.

He took out the remote-control plane that was stored in the cabinet from the schoolbag he brought, and put it next to Li Dongxing's pillow.The toy plane is old for a long time, and the bright paintwork of the past is no longer bright. No matter how hard the propeller is broken, it is difficult to maintain balance, and it leans crookedly on the pillow.It was this plane, Cheng Yan's parents took it abroad, and then Cheng Yan took it back to China.Except for the five years when he was studying for a Ph.D. in the United States, this plane never left Cheng Yan's side.He couldn't recall how the plane had anything to do with his past, but he never lost it.

Cheng Yan touched the missing propeller and found that there was no dust on it.The younger brother must secretly wipe it from time to time.He brought the plane closer to Li Dongxing, and whispered in his ear, "Look, it's still there. When you first came to my house, I saw you moving the plane, and I was still fierce to you. Now I Can I give it to you? I wanted to give it to you 15 years ago, but I was afraid that you would not want it."

He stuffed the plane into Li Dongxing's hand, but the man's fingers were cold and limp, and he couldn't hold the thing.

Cheng Yan didn't want to let go, he insisted on grabbing Li Dongxing's fingers, just like when he was a child, he took Li Dongxing, and the two of them held this toy airplane together.

"There are some things I always think about in my heart, but I never had a chance to tell you. Now that I have finally remembered the past, let's tell you together." He smiled softly, it doesn't matter He spoke slowly, "When I first met you, I mean, when I met you more than half a year ago, I thought you were incredible. How can someone be so miserable by himself, and still think about others all day long, and worry about it all the time? Other people's life? People like this are either stupid or pretending. I really want to observe you again. As a result, you know that I have put myself into it when I did this experiment. In the past, I was actually a real person It’s just because of a hole in my head, I always feel like the whole world owes me something, and I firmly believe that no one is really a good person who doesn’t ask for anything in return, and no one will really care about me. It’s like me , if it weren’t for the teacher’s supervision, I might have gone antisocial a long time ago. Then I met you. Yes, I didn’t remember it at that time, the hole in my brain was still there, but the hole in my heart was still covered by you I filled it up bit by bit. Since you came, my home is not empty, and my place is not empty. I started, um, imagine, whether tomorrow will be different from today and the past. Maybe this is hope. You gave me hope, hope to live."

Cheng Yan looked at Li Dongxing, and thought to himself, there is at least one advantage for his junior brother to faint, and he doesn't mind if these words will be too nasty.

"Now that I think about it, this is actually the second time. When I first met you when I was a child, I was really happy. I haven't told you before, have I? Before you moved here, I always stayed at home alone, My parents thought I was a sensible and good boy, so they were very relieved that I was alone and never cared about me. In fact, in the week before you came, I stared at that window every day, and there was a thought in my mind Thoughts. In another month, the cicadas will stop singing, and I will become a person again. I can't bear the silence. So I thought, if I jumped from there, would my life be different. I am I didn't think about dying, I probably just got a little crazy, thinking that if I broke my leg, my parents would be able to go home to spend more time with me. You see, I'm not like you, I've been pretty bad since I was a child, right? I have calculated by myself, which angle to jump from, and what will hit when I go down, so as to achieve the best effect. But before I actually put it into action, I ran into you downstairs that day."

Eight-year-old Li Dongxing was shriveled like a small cabbage with few leaves and no one wanted to pick it up when it was thrown in the ground, but Cheng Yan saw a lot of different things.

At that time, he looked at the thin and small back who couldn't even stand still and was washing dishes hungry, and suddenly felt that all his previous hurts and sorrows were nothing.

Human beings are such strange creatures. If you see a person living a more miserable life, your own suffering will suddenly become nothing.

And if two very bitter people bump into each other, it is even more likely to grind out some sweetness.

In this way, Cheng Yan retrieved his younger brother, and he never thought of jumping off the building again.

At this moment, he touched Li Dongxing's cheek, and said softly: "You, I used to love to say that Brother Yan is so kind to you, and you are the happiest person in the world if you have Brother Yan to accompany you—it's actually not like this. You It was the angel who saved me, and saved me twice."

His silly junior brother, I'm afraid he really never knew how good he is and how important he is to him.

Cheng Yan was thinking about this long series of words when he walked over from home. He tried his best to speak calmly, but his voice was still shaking violently when he opened his mouth.

"For so many years, I have been trying to retrieve lost memories. The teacher once asked me, what if the past was not so good, and when I remembered it, it would be worse? After all, there are many people who have suffered like me. People who are seriously injured will have a psychological shadow on the memories of falling from the building all their lives. Maybe it would be better for me to forget. I know the teacher is right, but somehow, I just don’t want to give up. I think, there must be someone or Things are so important, so important that even if I have forgotten them, I am unwilling and desperately want to get them back. Now I understand, what I don’t want to forget is who and what. What is the pain when I fell down the stairs? I was with you when I was a child Compared with my memories, this price doesn't matter at all. The moment I think about it, I'm so happy, I'm really so happy."

He said he was happy, but his voice became hoarse.

Cheng Yan wiped his cheek with the back of his hand, but the painted propeller on the plane was still wet in his hand.

"Forgive senior brother, okay? Forgive senior brother for losing you by fifteen