on the river

02,

Well, it's not that I'm supercilious, I think the hidden guard of Guzhu is also a bit crooked.

Guzhu has seven secret guards, who follow Guzhu's surname Jun, and they are called Junyi, Juntwo, Junthree, Junsi, Junwu, Junliu and Junqi according to their seniority, which is really easy to remember.Of course, I will not talk too much about why there is no Jun Shixi.

I think it is their eldest brother Jun Yi who is more crooked.

That day when I overheard the secret that the owner of the valley is gay, he discovered it. If I were an unreasonable person, I would definitely vent my resentment on him for being trapped in Luohua Valley as a guard, but I am Is that kind of person?That must not be.

So I didn't take this matter to heart.But it is obvious that Jun Yi's brain circuit is a bit strange, he thinks it is his fault, so he came here one day to apologize to me.

His first words were: "I'll take care of it."

At that time, I was eating chestnuts roasted, crackling in the fire, and the special sweet smell gradually wafted out. I don’t think there is a good way to describe it in words. It’s like you played pvp all night in an Internet cafe, your pig Your teammates are all rookies, and your opponents are all top players in the server who can win consecutive victories with your eyes closed. You are not sleepy, your fingers are flying, and your eyes are bloodshot. You have maintained a high state of tension for more than ten years It was hours, but you were full of energy, and finally you turned the tide. When the first light of the morning sun fell, you wore a winner's smile and chewed the already cold braised beef noodles...

——Anyway, roasted chestnuts are the best thing in the world.

I said, "Brother, who are you?"

Don't think I'll be subbing the roasted chestnuts! !

He froze for a moment, then said his identity: "Don't you remember me?"

Want to set almost hairy chestnuts? !You are such a scheming person! !

I said righteously: "No! I don't know you!"

He looked a little disappointed: "I caught you that day outside the master's study."

"Oh, it's you," I said calmly, "do you eat chestnuts?"

"No..." He paused, then changed his words, "Then respect is worse than obedience."

He sat down on the rock opposite me.

I:……

I'm just being polite!You man!You man!Don't you know how to follow the routine!

The chestnuts will be roasted for a while. Usually, you won’t feel anything if you wait alone, but there is another person sitting opposite you. No one talks, and the atmosphere is very quiet. You stare at each other and look at each other. That was embarrassing.

What's even more embarrassing is that the two of us looked at each other so stupidly, I seemed to see this person's ears slowly turning red.What's so popular!Have you replenished blood recently?

I didn't know him well at all, so I had nothing to say to break the awkward atmosphere: "You just said you were responsible...?"

"Yes, yes," he said, "I will marry you."

I calmly said, "Excuse me, I don't know your name yet."

He said, "Jun Yi."

I patted my knees: "That's not allowed," I said, "My grandmother was married to the Sun family, and your surname is not Sun."

It scared me to death, I thought that girl from the Sun family had come here.

He seemed a little puzzled, but he still stammered and explained: "That day, although it was unintentional, I tore the girl's clothes... The reputation of the girl's family..."

He should be very bad at talking about this kind of thing, his eyes wandered, his cheeks were slightly red, and he choked out every single word.

Fortunately, I have encountered this kind of situation many times since I was a child. There are always more people who think that I am a woman than I am a man, so I am very experienced in solving it.

I said, "Give me your hand."

He did so.

I calmly pressed his hand on my chest: "Did you touch my chest?"

He was dumbfounded at first, and then steam came out from the top of his head, and he lowered his head in shame, feeling a little uncomfortable all over: "Touch, touch."

Me: "………………………… those are my nipples, please stop pinching them."

Me: "Boy, I don't have a Mimi... No, I don't have a woman's Mimi."

His voice was as low as that of a mosquito: "I, I don't mind..."

You don't mind anything! ! !ah? ? ?Why can't I understand what you are talking about?

Do you think I'm short breasted? ? ? ?No, I am not! !I'm just a man without a tit! !

Why are you like this, you don’t play cards according to the routine, so tired, my heart is so tired, I won’t love again, do you want me to touch my dick for him?Not all women have dicks.

No, he doesn't follow the routine, maybe he thinks it's no big deal to have dicks, (in his eyes) my character is a girl with poor breasts who wants to save fabrics, with one or two dicks or something It doesn't hurt either.

Besides, I'm not really bold enough to let others touch my dick.

I just said, "I'm a man."

He squinted his eyes to look at me, and insisted: "We will discuss this matter on the day of our bridal chamber."

No!It will be too late then! !

You don't want to take off your bridal pants and find a dick!Whose bride will have a penis!Being so different and standing out from the crowd will be ridiculed by others!

Substituting the girl from the Sun family, I made up my mind, and I was about to wilt if I used to think about it.

He fake coughed: "Young lady, it's better to be more reserved."

My heart is so tired, how can he trust my man.

I can only let him touch the dick.

I randomly found a small secluded corner and let him touch it through my clothes.

He was shocked.

His face seemed to be written with shit, which was already a bit OOC for a hidden guard with facial paralysis.

I am very satisfied, I think he believes it, so I am satisfied and ready to go back to eat roasted chestnuts.

He bowed in admiration and said, "Miss unexpectedly thought of hiding the self-defense dagger in such a secret place."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………

Do you speak the dark guard language? I can't understand a single word.

I don't think he and I can make sense. There are three kinds of people in the world, men, women, and dark guards. I belong to men, and Junyi belongs to dark guards. We are of different species and cannot communicate.

I told Lao Wang, Lao Wang, you think that I am a woman, I am so annoying, he still wants to marry me, how can I marry a man, please help me explain to him, thank you, thank you .

Then Lao Wang's face was also written with shit.

On his desk is a stack of wedding invitations that he helped copy halfway.

Me: "Damn it."

Old Wang: "...Fuck."

I don't know if Lao Wang's crap is crap he copied so many wedding invitations for nothing, or crap I'm actually a man.

Fuck, so you all think I'm a woman? ? ! !what's the situation? ! ! !

I'm really going to fuck up.

I'm going to cry.

My heart is so tired, there is nothing worthy of nostalgia in this world, and I don't want to love anymore.You're making me a little confused, should I cut off my dick and be a real woman?

I held on to my last hope to find Guzhu.

"Master Gu, do you think I'm a man or a woman?"

The owner of the valley coughed up a mouthful of blood in line with the design of a sick and weak person, hesitated for a moment and said: "Male."

I kind of care about that hesitation.

Gu Zhu added: "I'm a medical student..." So the gender can be seen.

So during that moment of hesitation, were you just watching, hearing and asking for "looking"?

Ah, sure enough, studying medicine can save Luohuagu who has a gender cognitive disorder.

Finally, there is someone who can understand me. I am so moved that I want to cry. Although the method is more academic, whoever said that roasted chestnuts are delicious no matter they are hairy or not.Don't worry about the process, the result is more important.

I sighed for a while about my troubles, and finally said that for the prosperity, democracy, civilization and harmony of Luohua Valley, we should correct Jun Yi's cognition. I am a man, a man with a penis and no tits, who can't have children and can't pass on the family line , let alone marrying back home.

The owner of the valley said: "Oh."

He is really too dedicated to his work, he is always making fun of high-cold banished immortals anytime, anywhere, maintaining a sense of mystery, saying only a few words at a time, and spitting blood at every turn.

Alas, on the other hand, I am a big devil whose whole family is dead, his revenge is avenged, and he can't live for a few years.Even though I have such a sad and bitter fan background, my biggest pursuit in life is roasted chestnuts, no wonder I am not popular.

On the second day, Jun Yi suddenly developed a high fever, and the illness came very suddenly. He spent most of the day lying in bed.

The dark guards are always physically strong and almost never get sick. I suspect that someone poisoned them, but unless there is a hole in the brain, no one would use an ax in Luohua Valley.The target of the Five Poison Sect is the valley master, not the hidden guard.

"You wait, I'll help you find some medicine." I changed the towel for him and got up to go out.

Jun Yi held me down, his voice was hoarse, the corners of his lips were dry and peeling, his breath was hot, and it took a lot of effort to say a word, he was really seriously ill.

"Just get through it, just get over it," Jun Yi said intermittently, "This is the punishment of the owner of the valley, you can't take medicine, you have to get through it on your own..."

Is that so?I was going to die of anger: "You did nothing wrong, every time the Five Poison Sect was assassinated, you risked your life to protect him, why should he do this?"

He looked at me in a daze, and smiled wryly for a while: "I'm happy."

Do you shake M? ? ?

Ah, I'm so angry I can't keep smiling.

I roughly pinned him on the bed, put a cold towel on him, and ran to the kitchenette to make something to eat.This is the high fever caused by the poison. I don't know the recipe and I dare not add herbs to it. I just made some ordinary food.This is very easy for me. Although I was spoiled and spoiled when I was a child, I started to cook it for myself after I was seven years old. Even a culinary idiot can do it well after ten years.

I put the things in a food box and took them to Junyi's room.Then put them one by one on the small table, and he lay on the bed and looked at me with his head sideways, his eyes were very bright.

"Can you eat by yourself?" I asked.

He tried to stand up, I looked at the thick sweat on his forehead and said, "Forget it, I'll do it."

I rolled up my sleeves, scooped up the soup and blew it, alas, don't care if there is any saliva blown in, I can't see it.

I was like a hero mother, taking care of my handicapped son, nurturing him bite by bite, feeling a little bit grand about myself.

Jun only knows how to open his mouth to eat and look at me. Although I have been used to being watched by others since I was a child because of my appearance, his eyes are a bit creepy, which makes me a little uncomfortable.After finally finishing eating, I cleaned up the dishes, and he said behind me: "Qingqing."

My name is Shen Qinghe! ! !The fortune teller told my mother that I got this name because of the lack of water in the five elements! !

"Although the owner of the valley...but I will not give up."

Won't give up what?You child, look at you, you are starting to speak incomprehensible secret language again.

"I know you're a man..."

Very good!

"But I still like you."

- "Click."

The chopsticks fell off, and I turned around suddenly. When he said this, his eyes were like stars, very bright, his face was slightly flushed due to the high heat, and he stubbornly pursed his lips and looked at me.

The initial feeling of being a little helpless and wanting to be responsible because of principles is completely gone from his tone, replaced by serious and apprehensive feelings.

He looked at me.

Me (Shen. The No. [-] Straight Man in the Universe. Can't Be Straighter. Qinghe): ...Damn it!

No, don't bend, big brother! ! !