immortal

When Qin Haiting came in, she was holding a bunch of lilies in her arms.I was so smoked that I sneezed three times.The body is not whole, and the viscera and six internal organs are all aching.She froze at the door, not knowing whether to advance or retreat.Zhang Qiling, who was following her, put down the things in his hands, took the flowers, turned around and went out.

"It seems that you have been doing well recently." I covered my mouth and talked to her with my breath shut.

She turned and dragged a chair over to sit down.He rested his elbows on the edge of the bed, his face in his palms.Look at me quietly.

I looked into her eyes, and for a moment, the face in front of me overlapped with a face I remembered.The world is full of inescapable fates and unspeakable adventures.At this moment, I sincerely hope that she is her.

Maybe he hoped so too.

"You are really prone to trouble." She smiled, "I heard that you almost lost your life this time?"

She took an apple on the table and peeled it with a knife.The peel hangs down long and continuously.

I stare at her hands.

He must have also thought of Qin Shi.Long before I recovered my memory.On that snowy night with nowhere to hide.When he said the words that pierced my heart.

I suddenly understood.

During that long afternoon, Zhang Qiling didn't come in again. I watched the sun's shadow gradually slant to the west, until Qin Haiting got up to leave.She let out a long breath, and said to me with a smirk, "You think I'm really here to relieve you..."

I nodded and said, "I'm bored, you'd better come here a few more times."

"I'm getting married." When she said this, her eyes sparkled and she glared at me. "What's your expression?"

I said: "I am happy, but my body hurts.".It is a joy from the bottom of my heart.

Before she left, she said "Thank you." I didn't know what she was referring to, and there was no need to know, so I just nodded at her and said, "Goodbye."

I owe her a farewell.

In the middle of the night I was woken up by strange noises.

Zhang Qiling was standing at the window looking down. "What's wrong?" I asked, standing up.He turned around and walked over to the bed to support me.

A ritual ceremony is going on in the open space of the hospital.

In the shadow of the fire, the cries of children with filial piety can be faintly heard.The great monk in cassock sits in the center of the venue and recites scriptures, while the surrounding monks stand on both sides with various ritual instruments.The aroma is lingering.Straight into the sky.

"What are you reading?" I asked him.It's too far away, and everything can't be heard clearly.

His hearing ability has always been different from ordinary people, so he turned his head and said "Ksitigarbha Sutra" to me.

I sneered and reached out to close the window. "I have to recite 49 parts of the Ksitigarbha Sutra, and I don't know whose family's karmic creditors are. Whether I can enjoy this blessing or not."

"Wu Xie." He frowned.Turning around and facing the darkness outside the window, he muttered silently.

I looked at him quietly, looking at his never-changing face and constantly gaping lips.Hundreds of ghosts walk in the night, and there are eminent monks and great virtues here. May all the restless souls be able to eliminate their karma tonight and be reborn in the pure land.

"You know I didn't mean to annoy you," I whispered.

He nodded. "You are a bit mean, I read a mantra for you."

Mean, he said I was mean.At that moment I really wanted to ask him if he understood what it meant to be mean.

There was a time when I hated everyone in the world.

Within the Three Seas is a great hell.

I forgot when he said he loves me.

I lay back on the hospital bed.He went to the corner and poured a glass of water, and brought it to my bedside.Then lay down next to me with clothes on.

The hospital bed is not spacious, let alone squeeze the two of us.I know he's always thinking I'm falling asleep and curling up on the couch.But now, knowing that he was already lying beside the bed, I continued to squeeze into his arms.

One of his arms was under my ribs and it hurt.But I don't want to move away.

"Qin Haiting is getting married." I said in his arms.

He moved his head, brushing his chin against my hair.

"Are you unhappy?" I heard a resonant sound in his chest.

"How could you be unhappy..." I smiled and looked up into his eyes "You think I like her?"

He lowered his eyes and stopped looking at me.

"You know what happened after that night?"

"That day?"

"snow…"

His mouth was blocked before he finished speaking.

I can still remember the freezing wind that night.After I regained my memory, those long and painful memories were like gangrene, and they hurt to the skin at every turn.As far as the school is concerned, this incident can already be used as a topic of conversation by me, and I can use it to look back in this long sleepless night.

Sometimes losing your memory isn't all bad.

That night I stood in the snow until dawn.The snow stopped in the middle of the night.It was so dark, but white and dazzling.I found out later that the tears had frozen into ice on my face.By the time I realized it, the shoes were soaked.

Anxious, confused, self-defeating, and full of anger, I called out his name in the direction where he was walking away, and the only answer was the startled bird on the tree.In this cold night, I flapped my wings and flew from the bushes in front of me.

It was at that moment that I realized that I had fallen in love with him then.

"I just thought, this is an opportunity for you." He said slowly, every word seemed to knock on my heart. "This is the life you've always wanted."

No conspiracies, no harm, no immortality, life is full of irreversible regrets.Maybe after many years I will become a middle-aged bald man with a big belly, maybe the only thing I worry about is the appreciation and salary increase, maybe I will lose my temper because of the children's education... I am amused by my own thoughts.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked.

I have a bigger smile on my face. "I was thinking maybe I would have a son. He doesn't study well and makes trouble every day, and I was called into the principal's office time and time again..."

His expression changed slightly.

"Or if you quarrel with your wife at home, you can say boldly: I have crossed more bridges than you have traveled!"

"Indeed." He answered me solemnly.

"But" I turned over and turned my back to him, "I don't have you in this life."

What does it mean to me.