I'm not

Fortunately, the next day was Sunday, and Ayu was still sleeping when I woke up, so I made breakfast quietly, left a copy for Ayu, wrote a note for her, and then put on my clothes and went out up.

I looked at the text message Cheng Xingjian sent me last night, "Tomorrow morning at eight o'clock, the address is xxx." I sneered and called Cheng Xingjian.

He told me to wait for me outside the door, and we went to Brother Zheng's residence together.It's a very small house, similar to the one I live in. Most of them are office workers who can't afford a house for the time being and people who come to work and do business from other places.

I was about to knock on the iron door covered with small advertisements, but Cheng Xingjian stopped me and motioned me to go to the back, and he came to knock on the door.

After knocking for a long time, the door was opened.Cheng Xingjian pulled open the door vigorously as soon as it opened, bumped brother Zheng who came to open the door with his shoulder, walked in, and I followed closely behind him.

The room is very messy, there is a big box in the living room, it looks like he is packing his luggage, is he going to leave?There were many beer bottles scattered in the room, and the smell of alcohol was also very strong.

"Cheng Xingjian!" Seeing Cheng Xingjian's unkind expression, Brother Zheng yelled, "And... Yu Su, why are you here?" He let out his confidence.

I can see that his hair is messy, his beard should not be shaved for several days, and he looks unkempt.

"I see you are very clear in your heart." I couldn't help but sneer.

He bowed his head and said nothing.

"Tell me what's going on first?" Cheng Xingjian found a place to sit down, rolled up his sleeves, and said to Brother Zheng, "Sir, sit down too."

I watched him coldly sitting on the small bench opposite Cheng Xingjian, silent, with a look of reluctance.

"It's impossible for you not to make it clear today. We'll wait for you to say it." Cheng Xingjian said, "You can't leave so vaguely. I don't believe your words. How dare you say you don't like Ayu?"

Brother Zheng rubbed his hair with his hands, his tone was irritated and uneasy, and said: "I don't dislike her."

"You know Ayu, she is a very nice person, I admit that we are very happy together, but... I am too different from her family, now it means that I am being raised by her... I can't give her our future. "

"Because you work in her company, you can't bear it? Just because of your machismo? Can you be a little bit responsible?" I was so angry that I even wanted to hit him with a wine bottle.

"Yes! I really don't have the ability!" His eyes were red, and he was in a state of embarrassment. "I couldn't find a job after graduation. A Yu helped me. I was ridiculed at the company and said that I was a softie. These things Nothing!"

"I just realized that Ayu is too good, she has outstanding appearance, good personality and good family background, without any arrogance - and what about me? I am nothing, an ordinary person, I can't even find a job, I don't know What does Ayu like about me!"

"I suddenly discovered that Ayu can even live a better life without me! You don't need to be gossiped behind her back, I give her other people can do it! There are too many people who like her, why me?" Brother Zheng His voice trembled, and his tears fell to the ground.

"I'm afraid, I'm afraid that Ayu will bore me first, and I'm afraid later—we are not people from the same world."

Cheng Xingjian stood up, looked down at Brother Zheng, took a deep breath, suddenly lifted Brother Zheng up, and punched him in the face: "Think about what you said carefully! Are you out of your mind? You're right Are you so unsure about the future?"

"He doesn't have confidence in A Yu or himself." I looked down at Brother Zheng and slid against the wall, "There's nothing we can do about it."

Cheng Xingjian panted heavily, pacing back and forth: "Third brother, have you forgotten what you told us before? You said that Ayu was your first love, and it must be your last love object. She will be the only one in this life. At that time, I thought The third child is really stubborn, so what you said at the time was all bullshit?!"

Brother Zheng didn't say a word.

Cheng Xingjian babbled a lot, persuading and scolding Brother Zheng, I stood aside with my arms folded, I couldn't tell what it was really like.In the past, I always thought that they were the couple of gods and gods, which was enviable. Now I know that gods also have seven emotions and six desires, and they have to go down to experience the sufferings of the world.

"Third brother, I've run out of words, sober up yourself!" Cheng Xingjian said with a hoarse voice, and I handed him a bottle of mineral water, which I took when I came out of the house.

It was an indescribable stillness that flowed through this chaotic room.

I suddenly feel sad that sometimes no one stops people from falling in love, people stop themselves.

"Ayu is with me, you decide whether you want to come." I said, then opened the door and left, I heard Cheng Xingjian following.

The sound of me going down the stairs echoed in the narrow corridor, and Cheng Xingjian followed me silently. I walked slower and slower until I reached the first floor and finished the last step.

Cheng Xingjian stood beside me from behind, and I turned around to look at the dark corridor covered with advertisements, and the voice-activated lights went out.

"He didn't come." I said, "Ah Yu was crying very sadly."

We got on the bus and watched the people coming and going on the street staggeringly.

"Cheng Xingjian." I looked at his hand, which just hit Brother Zheng and rubbed against the wall, and now it is bleeding.

"Huh?" Cheng Xingjian's eyes were dark and bright, and his brows were clear. Even though he had grown up for a long time, he was still full of youthful spirit.

"Why can't people in love be together?" I asked him.

"I don't know." He stared at me with a worried look, "I don't know, Susu."

When I got home, Ayu had already left, so I wrote a line under the note I left, "Susu, I'll have breakfast, I'll go back first, don't worry about me." After that, I added a painted heart.

I don't know what to do, she was quiet like a child yesterday.

By my side, Ayu is always cheerful and energetic, but under her seemingly cheerful personality, she is as careful as a hair. Many times, she will pay attention to the details that I don't care about.She's a grown child who just doesn't want to admit it.

My heart aches, I know she doesn't need me now, all I can give her is yesterday's tissue.

If two people don't love each other enough, maybe it won't be so painful, I can't say anything, because time will fill those painful gullies.

Just like me.

Three years later.

"Susu?" Someone called me, "What's wrong with you?"

I was in a trance, there seemed to be a black veil in front of my eyes, and I felt very sleepy.After about ten seconds, I realized that I seemed to have fallen asleep.

A Yu was wearing professional attire, and she still looked very energetic, but a little more stable.She was holding a bottle of iced coke in her hand, and wanted to come over to touch my face, I was so excited that I shivered, and I was fully awake.

I fell asleep on the table.

"Are you very tired recently? Every time I come to see you, you are either working or sleeping. Is it because you are too busy at work?" A Yu frowned and sat beside me worriedly.

I nodded, looked at the unfinished files on the computer, shook my head again, took a sip of Coke.

"What do you mean by nodding and shaking your head?" Ayu asked, "I said, or you should change jobs, anyway, your treatment is not good."

I didn't say a word. In the past three years, Ayu has gradually learned the work of her family's company and has become more and more handy. I know she wants me to go to her company, but she has always taken my feelings into consideration and didn't say anything.

"Ayu—" I sighed, helplessly, "I might lose my job."

"Ah?! Why?" Ayu was very shocked and puzzled, "Although the recession is not good, it is not necessary to lay off staff!"

I stood up and sorted out the materials piled up on my desk, and after thinking about it, I said to A Yu: "Actually, it's because of a new employee in our group...she is the boss's niece."

"She ran on you?" A Yu was filled with righteous indignation, his eyes were spitting fire, "What does your boss think? You are an old employee, because of this?"

"No... She's nothing. She has excellent personal abilities. It's just that the child is just here, young and energetic, and she wants to show more."

"That's why there are people who flatter you and make it difficult for you. These people! It's quick to see the wind!"

"Hey... I don't think the boss has said much. Maybe he will fire me in a few days. It just saves the company costs."

A Yu scolded our company angrily for more than ten minutes, saying that my mouth was dry, so I brought her a glass of water in a funny way.She calmed down a bit, and she couldn't hold back when she finally left, she still expressed her idea of ​​wanting me to go to her company.

"I'll think about it." I smiled and walked her to the door.

"You!" She walked away with her bag and high heels.

I returned to my seat and began to seriously consider how to live after losing my job.It happened that Cheng Xingjian was in an internship and chatted with me on WeChat. I chatted with him a few times, and he said that instead of waiting to be fired, it is better to preemptively fire the boss.

I wholeheartedly agree.

But I have the heart but not the guts. On Monday, I still go to work and leave work in a regular manner.Although there are always people showing off in front of me throughout the day, I don't think it's okay-it also relieves my workload.

When I go home at night, I still cook, chat with friends, live a Buddhist life, and wait to be fired.

I called her, and after listening to my nagging, she was silent for a while, and stopped talking.

I waited quietly for her to speak.

"Susu, do you... want to work in Aike?"

I didn't speak.

"As far as our company is expanding its business overseas, it is now recruiting... I have been wanting to ask you before, but I didn't say anything. The treatment is very good, and the benefits of Aike employees are very high. Do you... want to try it?"

I understand that she must have made some preparations for being able to speak out, otherwise she wouldn't take the risk and let me try.

I know it, but I am a little worried when I suddenly go to a completely strange city.What's more, the boss's attitude towards me is unclear, and it's hard for me to say it.My friends and my social connections are all in Nancheng, and I am already familiar with life in Nancheng.

I said, I don't know, let's take a look first.

But I understand myself that I thought of so many excuses to decline, just because I was really tempted—Touch and her are in the same city and the same company.

Even with so many obstacles, my heart still beats.