Falling in love with you through the clouds

When Sister Tao came back, she brought fried noodles from a popular student cafeteria nearby, which I had introduced her to; she seemed to like it, and so did I.

I didn't eat two bites, and I was still thinking about how to ask her for help, but the nausea hit me again!I retched holding the trash can, and returned the little thing I just ate.

"Stomach upset?" Sister Tao patted me on the back, but she changed her words quickly. "Or... about pregnancy?"

I shy away from the beginning, but as smart as she is, I seem to have guessed the answer.

Thankfully, at least it didn't happen after dinner; it wasn't until it was finally time for bed that I worked up the courage to ask.

"Sister Tao...do you know a trustworthy doctor or clinic?"

"I was just thinking that I should urge you to go for a maternity checkup..." She faced me, and I stretched out my hand to her, and she held it without hesitation, "Have you made up your mind?"

"Well... I've looked for some data, and it's safer to decide earlier, and the impact will be smaller."

"Okay, how about your class schedule for tomorrow?"

"There is no compulsory course in the morning...it is in the afternoon, but the teacher's roll call is not very strict."

Sister Tao nodded, stood up decisively, put on a thin blanket and walked towards the computer.

"Sister Tao?"

"I'll contact you now, I'm in a hurry tomorrow...but she should give me some face." She turned on her laptop and typed a message on the screen.

Looking at her slender and tall back, I was moved to tears.

She's totally prioritizing me..."But...it's almost 11:30."

"It's okay, she didn't go to bed so early... Although once this relationship is used, it will become a little troublesome later!" She said with a smile, "But it's okay! The trouble is also my problem, compared to To you, I am nothing at all."

Is it a family problem?I have known Sister Tao for almost two months, but I don't think I've ever heard her mention anything about my family.

The better she treats me, the more curious I become about her besides feeling owed.

*

Early the next morning, Sister Tao took me by car to a qualified obstetrics and gynecology clinic in the city.

Even though it was not business hours yet, the door of the clinic was already open, as if it was prepared for me.

The doctor is a woman, about 50 years old, wearing glasses, with a serious expression, but somehow gives people a reliable sense of security.

She immediately arranged for me to have the prenatal check-ups that pregnant women should do; for the first time, I saw the baby in my belly... no, it is not yet five weeks pregnant, it can only be regarded as an embryo; The little bit of development, Lu Hanjun's face flashed in his mind for an instant.

"Miss?" When I came back to my senses, I met the concerned and puzzled eyes of the nurse.

I shook my head, listened to the doctor's explanation, and learned that the implantation and development of the embryos in my stomach were all normal.

"Then, when does the doctor think it's better to perform the operation?"

"If you want, you can do it now; the earlier you do it, the lower the risk and the smaller the impact on the mother."

Sister Tao was by my side, I looked to her for approval, she pursed her lips and nodded slightly.

So, the glance I saw through the screen just now became the last side of my missing child.

The operation time is very short. I have checked the Internet data and know that such a small embryo does not need surgery, and even does not require postoperative recovery period.

But, that refers to the physical recovery period.

When the surgical instrument invaded my body, I was so excited that I shed tears; not because of the pain, but because of the loss of an innocent life.

I killed my own children with my own hands.

"Xiaoning, it's okay, don't cry, don't cry, I'm here." Sister Tao's voice comforted me like a mother.I cling to her, feeling a dull pain in my abdomen; I have clearly got rid of the heavy source of pressure in the past few days, but I still feel deep sadness and self-blame.

"Sister Tao..." I said hoarsely, never thought that it would be so uncomfortable to let a life conceived in my body leave me! "I killed him..." I don't even know if the child is a boy or a girl!

"You didn't, Xiaoning, you didn't kill him."

Sister Tao's eyes were clean and pure. She held my hand tightly and whispered into my ear: "You are not ready to be a mother, and you will only harm him if you forcefully give birth; the child will not be happy, you It will also deviate from your own life plan; this decision now is good for you and him... He came at an untimely time, and your tears and heartache are enough to tell him that you are not a dereliction of duty mother, but that you are not ready yet. So stop saying what you just said, okay?"

Looking at Sister Tao, I seemed at a loss, but her smile and hug became the only warmth for me who was lost; I forced a smile and took some time to get my emotions together before I left the operating room. The doctor had been waiting outside the door for a long time .

"Siqi, come here." The doctor seemed to see through my current state, and instead of calling me, he told Sister Tao directly what should be explained.

I sat on the side, drinking the warm water handed by the nurse, and ignored the doctor's instructions until they started talking about Sister Tao——

"……returned home?"

"Not yet, I came back this time for work..."

The doctor pursed his lips and glared at Sister Tao. "Work, work! There are a lot of things waiting for you to do at home... so you haven't contacted your mother?" Sister Tao nodded, and her face darkened. "Don't tell me that I'm the first relative to know that you sneaked back!"

Sister Tao shrugged, "Auntie has always been the best to me, so she shouldn't be willing to reveal my whereabouts to make me scolded?"

"You! If this kind of thing hadn't happened to your friend and you asked me for something, would you have made up your mind to avoid seeing each other?"

Sister Tao was silent for a while, and finally said as if in compromise: "Okay, I promise to go back at least once during the Chinese New Year."

The doctor showed a "this is more or less" expression. "Then let me at least tell your mother that you've been here, okay?"

"Well, let them know..." Sister Tao said, but she was mostly helpless.

"Siqi! Escaping won't solve the problem."

"I don't want to either!" She smiled wryly, and finally hugged the doctor, "Anyway, thank you for your help; then I'll take my friend back first."

"Hmm." The doctor looked indifferent on the surface, but it was not hard to see from the corners of his mouth that she was happy. "Remember my instructions!"

"Got it!" Sister Tao finally turned back to me. Before leaving, I nodded to thank the doctor; she smiled back at me. After we left, the door of the clinic was closed immediately, and I caught a glimpse of their morning consultation hours. , I realized that it was because I asked them to open the door an hour and a half earlier!

Sitting in a taxi, I didn't realize I forgot one important thing until the surgery was all done. "Sister Tao! That..."

"Ok?"

"Surgery costs..." How much is it?

"I'll cover it for you first, and then it depends on the relationship, so there is a little discount."

"No matter what, I will find a way to return it to you."

She didn't refuse this time, but said lightly: "We can talk about it after your injury is completely healed."

Sister Tao always had deep meaning in her words; this time, she also meant something.

I understand what she means, and I also know that it is absolutely impossible for me to give birth to this child. She tried her best to make me feel better, at least not to feel guilty for giving up a life... I don't know how to quickly make myself happy, but At least in hindsight, I'm thankful that I didn't have to make drastic changes in my life.

At least I'm still living a relatively peaceful college life...without a boyfriend, without a favorite band, it's not the end, is it?

What's more, after paying a huge price, I didn't gain nothing except life experience.

On Wednesday, I went to class normally; I skipped the whole day of class yesterday and I only told Yiting to go home temporarily. I usually don’t miss a few classes and I can’t keep up with the progress because I missed a few classes, but I couldn’t catch up yesterday. Tao Yi'an was very nervous when he saw me, and grabbed me to talk whenever he had the opportunity.

"You didn't come yesterday, I'm very worried." It can be seen that his face is paler than before, and I don't think it's because of the cold weather. "What's wrong with your family?"

"Well, it's all right now." I tried my best to smile, but the corners of my mouth were so stiff that I couldn't control it.

After a long silence, he said in a low voice, "Yiting roughly told me about it."

I bowed my head, knowing that I no longer had to pretend. "oh."

"She only let me know that you broke up with your boyfriend, but she didn't say the reason, because she didn't know the details..."

"There's nothing to say, that's how things are." I inhaled, and found my heart aching.

Tao Yi'an's quiet eyes were stained with anger, he came to hold my hand excitedly, "What did he do to you?"

"Tao Yi'an... Can I say that I don't want to talk about it?" I smiled wryly, tears rolling in my eyes.

"I've been to Plato." His voice was sad, and I couldn't hide my surprise. "Just last week... I originally wanted to listen to his singing, and I also had a fluke mentality that I might meet you." He pursed his lips, and I probably knew what he saw. "I didn't wait for you, but I saw that guitarist performing hotly with another long-haired female singer on stage."

I said coldly, "That's what you saw... It's over with him."

"Xiaoning, won't you be unwilling? That female singer..."

I took a piece of tissue to wipe away my tears, shook my head and said, "He did it voluntarily, he was willing to abandon me for his own future, and embrace another person... His choice, even if I am not willing, so what!"

He withdrew his hand, stared at me and shook his head constantly, as if complaining for me and feeling worthless for me. "Xiaoning..."

"That person has nothing to do with me anymore, you see." I tugged at my neckline, and there was nothing on my neck. "Thank you for your concern, but now I don't want to touch the wound anymore, I just want to be quiet..."

"Also," I pursed my lips and said after a short pause, "The breeze in your mouth can no longer warm others, so I advise you not to expect too much from her."

I turned my head away and pretended to concentrate on taking notes from my bag. He didn't leave, and the wheelchair kept facing me.

I helplessly met his gaze again, and finally, I only heard him say softly: "I am willing to wait."

"Even if it's far away?"

He laughed, until the class bell rang, and I seemed to hear him repeat it again.

"I'm willing to wait."