harmless youth like me

At three o'clock in the morning, the phone rang like a reminder, and I answered it in a daze. Someone on the other end of the phone said viciously: "Hurry up and open the door! Why did you sleep so hard and didn't hear the knock on the door?"

I heard the voice very familiar, but couldn't remember who it was for a moment, so I got out of bed and went to open the door in a daze. My boss, Shen Ze, was standing at the door.Boss Shen seemed to have not slept all night, his eyes were bloodshot, his face was full of stubble, his neckline was open, and he looked anxious.

I looked at him sleepily.

He said, "Go in."

I turned sideways to make way, and he entered the room and closed the door, commanding no doubt: "Hurry up and get dressed and follow me, my brother-in-law is sick."

Although my IQ was only half of what it used to be in the middle of the night, even in normal times, I absolutely couldn't figure out the logic of this sentence.First he asked me to dress neatly, and second he said his brother-in-law was ill.Who is his brother-in-law? What does his brother-in-law have to do with whether I wear clothes or not?

Because I couldn't figure out what he meant, I continued to look at him stupidly, and he took out a can of iced coffee and stuck it on my hot neck, and I let out a horrible cry.

Shen asked thoughtfully: "Are you awake? Can you come with me?"

I hurriedly dressed and asked, "What happened?"

"It happened suddenly, the car said." He threw the coffee to me, "act quickly."

The luxury car was parked downstairs, with two bright xenon headlights illuminating the alley. I climbed into the passenger seat and asked, "What's the matter?"

He frowned.To be honest, I really like to see his expression, the more troubled he is, the happier I am, just looking at his sad face, I can cook three bowls of plain rice.

He said solemnly: "Wu Qi, I am negotiating a deal with you now. If you are willing, I will return you the 1000 yuan that was deducted from your work last month. If you are not willing, I will deduct it again this month." You a thousand."

"Fart!" I yelled angrily, "Our group, Ma Xiaohong stabbed her, you clearly knew that I was taking the bag for her!"

"I don't care, first say whether you want it or not."

"Yes!" 2000 yuan is enough for me to sell my soul.

"Okay." He patted me on the shoulder and said, "Today you go to get married."

"..." I asked, "what?"

"marry."

"with who?"

"My sister."

"..." I thought about it and asked, "Mr. Shen, do you think that before my sister and I get married, we should make friends first and deepen our relationship?"

He suddenly threw me a red envelope and said, "It's too late, there is 8000 yuan in it, what do you want?"

"Do it!" A thousand dollars is enough for me to sell myself more than 200 times, not to mention just marrying a dominatrix.

Shen Ze boasted that I understood righteousness, and said that he would invite me to eat puffer fish by the river after it was done, and eat as much as he wanted, and that he paid for the funeral expenses all by himself, and then he finally told me why I had to marry his sister , because his brother-in-law was ill.

In fact, I know his brother-in-law. He was my senior brother when I was studying. His surname is Lu. I just fell asleep and didn't remember it.By the way, Shen Ze is also my senior brother, a few years older than me, and the three of us have been together in college.I couldn't find a suitable job after graduating from university, so I had to go to Shen Ze's company to help out.

Shen Ze has a younger sister named Shen Ran, who looks very similar to him, tall and heroic, with a hulking back and a similar temper. It is a miracle that she can get married. In short, his brother-in-law, Lao Lu, not only has a problem with aesthetics, but is also a masochist.

Today is Shen Ran and Lao Lu's wedding banquet, but Lao Lu ate greasy food last night, causing acute cholecystitis, let alone getting married, he can't even get out of bed.

I said, "Since the groom is sick, why not change the date of the wedding banquet?"

Shen said no, the invitations for the guests at the 68 tables have all been sent out, just wait for today.He asked me to attend the wedding banquet instead of Lao Lu because I was about the same height and build as that guy.In addition, I’m from another province. I’ve only been here for half a year. I don’t have a deep foundation.

I asked: "You found a fake groom temporarily, and the man's relatives have no objection?"

Shen Ze sneered and said, "This idea was brought up by the man. Don't worry, the man's home court hosted a wedding banquet last month. This time it's the woman's home court. The man's party didn't come with a few people, and both of them knew each other well.

"The woman has no objection?"

"What's your opinion?" He turned the steering wheel coldly, "Among the five or six hundred guests, the ten fingers who know the groom can be counted. This is not marriage, it is suffering at all. In the future, I will definitely hide in the wilderness when I get married. Go to the island, no one is invited."

Shen Ze's father is the richest man in the local area, and he hires all prominent figures. He managed to marry his daughter in a five-star hotel with great difficulty, and of course he would not change the date of marriage even if he died.For the majority of "local tyrants and evil gentry", face is much more important than the authenticity of the son-in-law.

I asked, "Where are we going now?"

Shen said, "Go to the hospital."

When we arrived at the hospital, we went straight to the emergency room, where the old Lu was lying there "wailing", his voice was louder than the sum of three or five pregnant women, insulting all his blood relatives, cousins ​​and in-laws with his gallbladder.

Shen covered his ears and said to him, "Stop shouting, Wu Qi is here!"

"Wu Qi!" Old Lu snotted and wanted to pull my hand, but I refused, he insisted on pulling, and even rubbed his snot all over my pants.The bitch put his arms around my thigh and yelled, "Brother, it's all up to you!"

I asked, "Brother, what did you eat last night?"

He howled: "I didn't eat anything, just seven or eight roasted lamb chops, plus half a lamb leg, and two roasted lamb scorpions!"

On the side, his parents, mother and sister turned their heads away in shame after hearing this.

Shen asked, "What did the doctor say?"

Lao Lu's mother said: "The doctor said that the operation should be done quickly. We have discussed it. His sister will wait on him here, and the others will take their places after dawn. We must organize the wedding banquet! Make it beautiful!"

The others followed suit.

You see, he is the only one who understands righteousness. The son's peritoneum can be perforated, and the elders of both sides can't lose face. As for the table 68 people, even the mayor is present, how can the groom not go?

Then they looked at me, and Lao Lu's sister pursed her lips and said with a smile: "This double looks a bit like my brother from the back, but he is so handsome from the front!"

Shen said: "It's okay, put some black powder on his face when he puts on makeup later."

He looked at his watch and said it was past four o'clock, and he dragged me to leave.I asked where to go, he said go home.So we drove from the hospital to his house, and when we arrived, we occupied one end of the sofa and slept with our clothes on for an hour. At six in the morning, he woke me up and said, "Let's go, put on makeup."

Shen Ran's new wife booked a presidential suite in the hotel, and she had been up for a while when we went.The woman bit the fried dough stick and giggled at me, saying, "Wu Qi, don't shave your little face too clean, our old Lu is a rough person, you won't look like him after you shave it clean!"

I pointed at her angrily and said, "I tell you, Shen Ran, good girls don't marry second husbands!"

Shen then threatened: "Whoever you two say a word more, I will tie him behind the car and drag him for five kilometers."

So Shen Ran ran away with a senior makeup artist, leaving behind a novice who made me an extremely silly hairstyle, parted and blown high, and even applied two blushes on me. Fortunately, when I turned around, Shen Ze applied it Lost.

"Too stupid." He commented unbearably.

After putting on makeup and putting on Lao Lu's Armani suit, Shen Ze and I had breakfast together.I regretted that I promised too readily at the beginning, so I said: "Mr. Shen, this is a big matter, and I'm really afraid that something might go wrong."

Shen said: "It's okay, do as I say."

"May I refund the 8000 yuan to you?" I asked tentatively.

Shen Ze took a sip of porridge and replied calmly: "I don't want your money, I will cut off your kidney when the time comes."

"..." I buried my head in eating the fried dumplings. After all, I worked hard when I was full.

At around 7 o'clock in the morning, Shen Ran, dressed up, was sent back to her natal home by a special car.After a while, someone came to inform that the wedding car team was ready and could set off to pick up the bride at any time.Shen Ze escorted me out of the hotel.

I really regretted it. The first time I got married, it was so commemorative. I didn’t expect it to be in such a situation! But Shen was standing next to me, and he seemed to be holding a murder weapon in his hand. I couldn’t escape or leave, so I had to Touching Lao Lu's Hermes belt on my waist, I hope this fetish will give me strength.

The wedding car is parked in front of the hotel.All Hummers, with a long queue, can't see the end at a glance.The float is an extended Hummer, I don’t know where the Shen family got it, it’s white, with a high chassis, and the eight windows on one side are too long, so it looks like a bus with red and green hangs, it’s magnificent!

Shen Ze is of course the float driver, and his buddies drive the rest of the Hummers.Some of those cronies knew me, so they surrounded me with obscene smiles, scrambling to take advantage of me.

"Brother-in-law!" they shouted affectionately.

Shen drove them all away for me.

According to the old rules, every wedding car driver can get a red envelope.When Shen Ze handed out the red envelopes, he reminded them one by one, telling them to keep their mouths shut, and anyone who showed their secrets in front of the guests would be thrown into the river to feed the fish.

Climb on the bus... No, Hummer, looking at the leather seat longer than the ambulance stretcher, I suddenly realized that today I can only get on the Hummer because of a fake marriage, but I will get married in the future, so I wonder if I can get on the Mazda 6.

I expressed the same worry to Shen Ze, and Shen Ze gave me a blank look and said, "What is the knot? You should also go to the desert island."

How cruel, man!

At 8:[-], the Hummer wedding team arrived at the bride's home on time.According to the customs here, the following process is to eat sweet soup, knock on the door, interrogate, stuff red envelopes, squeeze the door, and rob people. Shen explained to me while comforting me, saying: "Several of Shen Ran's girlfriends know that you are Fake, I won’t embarrass you, don’t worry.”

I believed it. I stepped into the gate of Shen's mansion amidst the deafening sound of firecrackers. Under the polite smiles of the Shen family, either tacitly or when they met for the first time, I raised my neck and drank the sweet soup. Ran to the boudoir.Shen Ze and his buddies followed closely behind me, sweeping the formation for me.

It turned out to be counterproductive, and the girls knew that I was a fake, so they had more fun.They asked me what color my underwear was, and asked me to take it off before going in, otherwise it would be difficult to inspect the product.I stuffed more than a dozen red envelopes under the door to no avail, so I looked at Shen Ze speechlessly.

Shen Ze yelled: "Is it over?!" Then with a wave of his arms, his buddies from the anti-riot team jumped out, kicked the door open with a few kicks, and then rushed in, holding down the door. The bride jumping up and down, handed over to me.

All this was faithfully recorded by the videographer behind me.By the way, the videographer has been instructed to take as few shots of my face as possible, so that the post-production can put Lao Lu's head on it.

Since the snatching session only took 5 seconds, the videographer thoughtfully suggested adding a marriage proposal link, that is to say, I had to kneel down, hold Shen Ran's hand, and beg her to marry me.

I agreed, and Shen Ran sat on the edge of the bed. I knelt down on one knee, and someone taught me to say: "My dear..."

I said, "Honey..."

"Loving you for 1 years, loving you for 1000 years, kissing you is the happiest time in my life; if you want, please don't have doubts about me; the mood of anticipation is deeply rooted in my heart, and the feeling of heartbeat cannot be replaced. Everything is just to appease the lonely heart that has been wandering for a long time..."

I turned my head and asked, "Who wrote these words?"

Shen Ze said angrily, "Stop talking! Just say what you say!"

So I turned around and said to the bride: "What I want is forever, are you willing to join hands with me for the rest of your life?"

The bride, who is capable of carrying the tripod and has excellent acting skills, groaned, turned around shyly, and said, "I am willing. Get up, Lao Lu."

So I stood up, carried the bride on my back with the help of others, went down the stairs tremblingly, stepped on a few balloons tremblingly, and then returned to the Humvee.

As soon as he got in the car, Shen Ze began to scold his sister: "Shen Ran, you must be winking! Wu Qi is here to help, so don't make things difficult for him, can you?"

Shen Ran was picking her teeth with her pointed nails (yes, there are my flesh and blood between her teeth) and said, "Oh, Wu Qi has no objections, what are you in a hurry for?"

According to local rules, girls need to wear gold and silver when they get married.Shen Ran was wearing a bright red Chinese wedding dress, with more than 20 gold necklaces hanging around his neck, gold rings and bracelets on his fingers and wrists, and gold pendants the size of bowls on his ears.I roughly estimated that she weighed about 120 catties, and her clothes and jewelry weighed about 40 catties. Just now I carried five full-filled gas tanks on my back to go downstairs, which was not easy.

Since this is the bride's home wedding and the man doesn't have a house in the local area, the link of picking up the couple to the new house was cancelled. This saved everyone's trouble, and the group went straight to the hotel to prepare for the noon banquet.

Shen Ran was very happy, because she could insult me ​​as much as she wanted when she arrived at the hotel. Fortunately, although her brother is a bastard, he still pays attention to loyalty and filial piety. He opened another suite and only brought me and a few core helpers to stay. Keep that female devil Shen Ran out.

At this time, no one thought that the official groom officer lying in the operating room was all around me, as if I was a baby, the kind who was about to groom, and was afraid that I would offend my benefactor if my education was not good.Among them, Shen Ze's performance is the most obvious. His brows have never been stretched, and he seems to see the suffering of all human beings when he looks at him.

"The next thing is the main event," he said, "welcome, wedding ceremony, toast."

Helper A looked at me, and said worriedly: "He and Lao Lu look less and less like each other. If you don't want to welcome guests, don't go."

"That's not acceptable, it's not in compliance with the rules." Helper B objected, "And the bride and groom don't go, how can you receive red envelopes?"

Shen Ze thought for a while, and sent someone to find me a pair of plain glasses with thick black frames. Finally, he could not bear the heart and said, "Put more powder on his face." Smeared on me.

At 11:08 in the morning, the couple stood in the hotel lobby to welcome guests on time.

I am a foreigner, and Shen Ran only met me through her brother in college.She has lived independently for a long time, and her work unit is far away in the capital, so our lives basically have no intersection.This provided convenience for my impostor. In the first 20 minutes of standing there, I met countless people, but none of them were familiar faces. I guess those people didn't know Lao Lu either.

After standing for a few more minutes, Shen Ran couldn't take it anymore. Her clothes were too heavy, and they were all pressed on the heels of two 1.5 cm square shoes.She held my hand and sweated profusely, and said, "Wu Qi, let's leave."

I turned my head to look at Shen Ze, and he said that we can only withdraw if we can withdraw.Shen Ze nodded. After all, she was his own sister, so he felt distressed no matter what.

So we withdrew, and replaced the two old members of the Shen family, Shen Fuhao and Shen Kuotai, as well as the best man and bridesmaid standing in the hall.Anyway, the purpose of holding this wedding is not to get married, but to show off. It doesn't matter whether there is a bride and groom, and it doesn't matter whether the groom is real or fake.What matters is how many dignitaries and celebrities came, how many high-end hotels were booked, how many luxury cars were used, how many tables of wine were placed, and how much money was spent.

Shen Ran and I went back to our room respectively, after a while Shen knocked on the door and came in, ripped off his tie and shirt collar, sat opposite me to smoke a cigarette, looked up to the sky and sighed, "You suffer."

I said: "I am the one who suffers, Mr. Shen. Look at the foundation, blush and lipstick on my face. The last time I put on makeup was when I performed the dance "Good Day" when I was in kindergarten." Annoyed again that she shouldn't have agreed to him, she ran to die for that bitch Old Lu.

Speaking of which, Shen treated me well. Although he was a bit harsh when he dispatched me, the salary he should be given has never been less. There is a woman in our department named Ma Xiaohong, who is the daughter-in-law of a certain leader in the city. Sweater, sleeping, eating melon seeds, gossiping, sowing discord, doing all kinds of evil, her performance is a mess, but she can't be fired.So whenever Ma Xiaohong made a mistake at work, Shen Ze sent someone to scold me and deduct my bonus in public.Several times, Ma Xiaohong felt embarrassed. In order not to make mistakes, she simply stopped working, which made the whole company feel more relaxed.Shen Ze paid back all the money that was deducted from me. In fact, the house I live in now is also his, because I have the intention to renege on my debts, and I have not paid him the rent so far.

At 11:50, someone told the bride and groom to prepare, the mayor had arrived, and the ceremony was about to begin.Shen patted me on the shoulder and said success or failure depends on one move, and then pushed me out.

At 12:05, Shen Ran and I took our seats behind the closed door of the banquet hall. At 12:08, the wedding march sounded, the door opened, and we walked onto the red carpet holding hands with a stiff smile.She was stiff because she couldn't move, and I was stiff because life was so absurd.Shen Ran and I, who would believe it? This girl didn’t even send a wedding invitation to me! If I had to choose, I would rather marry her brother, because her brother doesn’t need to wear high heels.

No wonder Lafayette Cixi couldn't do without Li Lianying. He helped her walk every day. Is it easy?

The salute was fired, ribbons and colored paper covered our faces, and we staggered onto the stage with each other's support, but we don't remember much of the rest.I just remember that there was a ghost-like guy running around us all the time, saying all kinds of dirty jokes and cuts, his voice was very high-pitched, his speech was extremely fast, and he was old-fashioned and tacky, and no one in the audience was happy.Then a fat old man came to the stage to give a speech. It is said that he was the witness of the marriage. I asked Shen Ran quietly if she recognized her, and she said, "I know you!" Big back.

The spotlight scorched everyone's beard and hair, and the powder on Shen Ran's and my face was half melted.Most of her weight was leaning on me. From a distance, it seemed that the couple were cuddling each other, which was really touching.

Then the parents of both sides came on stage, all four of them performed very well, and the typhoon was steady.

There were three or five close relatives on the man's side, and only a few core figures on the woman's side knew that I was fake. The ghostly master of ceremonies didn't know. He urged me to perform a tear-jerking family show with both parents, but was immediately declined.The master of ceremonies was not reconciled, after exchanging rings, cutting the cake, and pouring champagne, he brazenly played a PPT on the big screen showing the love process between Shen Ran and Lao Lu, doing his best.Fortunately, the PPTs are all made of wedding photos, and Lao Lu's gains and losses were lost by PS, but he looks a bit like me.

Looking at the charming old Lu scratching his head on the giant screen, Shen Ran supported me and fled until he reached the bridal lounge and closed the door.

"Passed!" She threw off her high heels and panted, "Wu Qi, I seem to have feelings for you. We have been through this together."

I said: "Good girl, your Aunt Pan's Jinlian did not empathize so quickly. After today, you should go home and take good care of your husband who had his gallbladder removed."

She complained that her feet hurt, and I ran to look, and sure enough, there were big blisters on the toes and heels. These are not shoes, they are clearly instruments of torture.I rummaged around for a Band-Aid and put it on for her.

Shen Ze opened the door and came in. Before he had time to praise our performance just now, he commanded solemnly: "Hurry up and change clothes, eat and prepare to toast. There are 68 tables of wine. I don't know when we will be toasted."

Shen Ran hugged her head and wailed, had a quick bite of snacks with me, put on the torture tools and went out again.At this time, there are also late guests, some of whom are late due to long journeys or traffic jams on the road, and some who do not want to participate in the long and boring wedding ceremony with an empty stomach at all.

At local wedding banquets, it is not customary to get the groom drunk to death, so when I toasted, I used beer, and Shen Ran used orange juice.Shen followed behind with his bridesmaids and poured wine for us. On the one hand, he was monitoring me, and on the other hand, he was also protecting me.

It was a bit embarrassing when toasting to the main table, because Shen Ran and Lao Lu's parents were sitting there, as well as some people who knew the truth.Fortunately, the rest of the distinguished guests were kept in the dark, and the mayor even encouraged us in an official tone. The fat witness was very concerned about whether Shen Ran could have a son.After passing the main table, the wine in the back is more respectful. Some people want to make trouble because they are Shen Ran's old classmates, but with Shen Ran, this great god dominates the battle, and no one dares to make mistakes.

After 20 tables, I started to feel dizzy.Although the beer is delicious, it has alcohol after all, and I am the kind of waste who can't drink. What's worse is that the surroundings are too crowded, too noisy, too loud, too loud, and too hot! Shen is right, the desert island is good, The desert island is quiet, the desert island is the place I yearn for!

So Shen Ze drank all the wine after the 20th table.We reluctantly offered more than ten tables. Shen Ran was already on the verge of collapse, and I was also at the end of my battle. My ears were filled with confusion. The married woman had booked two large banquet halls, with 36 tables on one side and 32 tables on the other. We managed to give 36 tables to the respect It's over, thinking that there are more than 300 people over there, I can't wait to touch them to death!

I suspect that Lao Lu is a person on the hidden front. He must have obtained the information in advance, so he tried his best to eat the fat sheep and deliberately destroyed the function of the gallbladder to avoid the wedding.His choice is right, as long as I can get out of the hotel right now, I am also willing to donate a gallbladder!

On the way from hall A to hall B, Shen Ran and I leaned against the wall to breathe, and each drank a can of Red Bull to refresh ourselves.Shen Ze freed his hands to caress our backs and said, "Come on, work hard."

The best man and bridesmaid have all been changed, only the Shen brothers and sisters and I have no one to replace.After a break of three to five minutes, we walked to Hall B, and we had to hurry up and finish the toast before the show ended.

Hall B is also lively, a few tables of wine were toasted hastily, and we came to table 38.This table is located in a corner and hidden behind a square pillar. It is filled with some unimportant social friends. They may be Shen Fuhao's acquaintances, or Shen Kuotai's friends. In short, from the expressions of Shen Ze and Shen Ran Look, they don't know any of them.

But I know two—my dad and my mom.

I can see the end of my life at a glance!

……

The wine glass slipped from my hand and fell on Lao Lu's Prada leather shoes. The wine splashed all over my trouser legs, but I didn't feel anything.My parents also dropped their wine glasses, they stared at me in a daze, and I also stared at them in a daze, no one said a word.

I have experienced countless tragedies in my life. When I was two years old, I played on the edge of the well and fell down. When I was 4 years old, I crossed a ditch and broke my leg. When I was 10 years old, I broke my right arm when I was playing football. At the age of 15, I dyed my hair and almost blinded my eyes. When I was in college, I lost contact with him for three days while hiking in a barren mountain. When I was found, I was so hungry that I almost ate my socks... But there is no tragedy like this!

I feel that the space around me is distorted. I must have been thrown to some inexplicable place by an unknown force, such as the Kuiper belt. That thing is near the ecliptic plane outside the orbit of Neptune, and the celestial bodies are dense... In short! My mind is in chaos, and everything around me disappears when my consciousness flickers, leaving only three people: me! my dad! my mom!

You must think that my parents may not recognize me with makeup like this, how is it possible! I crawled out of my mother's body, not to mention just putting powder on my face, even if I chopped it up and boiled it into sauce and burned it to ashes, They know each other too!

In a panic, I said the most misunderstanding and intensified contradiction in the history of Chinese and foreign struggles: "...Mom, listen to me..."

My mother stretched out her hand and slowly covered her ears, and the lines were about to blurt out!

At this time the savior appeared, the Internationale said that there is no savior in the world, no! In fact, there is, and he is by my side!

Shen Ze went around behind my parents, put his hands on their shoulders, and said affectionately: "Uncle and aunt, why are you sitting here? My parents are looking for you, come here, I will lead you there!"

Shen Ze is tall, my mother is petite, and my father is gentle and fair. The two of them were taken away by Shen Ze under the armpit without any resistance. Before leaving, Shen gave me a wink and ordered me to continue. Toast.

How can I toast, I'm going crazy!

After barely escaping from table 38, Shen Ran asked me more than a dozen reasons, why did my parents show up at her wedding? Why didn’t she know beforehand? Why did my parents know her parents?… …

How do I know?! I still want to ask why!

I told Shen Ran that I was dying and wanted to vomit, and then I ran out of the banquet hall.Seeing that I had escaped, Shen Ran followed closely. Anyway, when her brother questioned me later, she would put all the responsibility on me.

But I was really just throwing up. As soon as I got to the corridor, the air-conditioning hit me, and I shivered, and my mind suddenly cleared up.Shen Ran fled from the side, I grabbed her and said, "Bride, where are you going?"

She said, "My feet hurt, go back to my room."

I said: "Think about your brother's methods, we can't give up halfway, we have to toast the remaining 30 tables of wine."

She said with a straight face, "My brother won't do anything to me."

"Yeah." I sneered, "But your brother will kill me!

I threatened, "Are you respectful? If you dare to say disrespectful, I will go to the hospital and feed Lao Lu three fat lamb legs."

Shen Ran said seriously: "I can't see it! Wu Qi, you are usually a quiet person, but you are also quite ruthless."

"Let me tell you, Yan dogs are the ones who bite people!" I dragged her back to the banquet hall, and the bridesmaids brought wine. We saluted from table 39, without much politeness, without talking nonsense, one table in half a minute, like a broken bamboo.When there were more than 50 tables, the wedding banquet went on for more than an hour, and the guests dispersed automatically.Fortunately, it is not the guests behind the fifty or sixty tables, but the people who help at the wedding, such as drivers, makeup artists, photographers, dancers, floaters, etc. They have all received red envelopes, whether to drink or not The newcomers don't care about this glass of wine, so we are happy and relaxed, let it go, and even save the trouble of seeing off guests.

Shen Ran ran away with her shoes in hand, I stayed where I was and pulled a chair and sat down, hugging my head and sighing: Her business is over and mine hasn't started yet!

The best man patted me on the shoulder sympathetically.

This kid is nice, very caring, but because Shen Ze has been squeezed by the side, I haven't seen what he looks like for such a long time.

When the phone rang, Shen called me over, and the location was in the suite upstairs.

It’s a matter of death whether I go or not. I took off the plain glasses, took off the suit jacket full of alcohol and smoke, handed it to the best man, and went upstairs alone.

The door of the suite was ajar, and there were four people inside, my father, my mother, Shen Ze, and Shen Ze's mother, Shen Kuotai.Seeing me go in, the four of them smirked at the same time: Are you here?

I nodded, here we come.

In embarrassment, Shen Kuotai was the first to speak. She told me that the flood had washed away the Dragon King Temple, and her family no longer knew her family.She and my parents are good friends from college. After graduation, they went their separate ways. They haven't communicated with each other for many years. This year, we suddenly got in touch again, so we invited them to our daughter's wedding.She said that the earth is a village, the world is so small, she didn't expect my useless son-in-law...uh, I didn't expect your son-in-law...well, anyway, hehehehe.

I looked at my parents, they clapped their hands and smiled, hehe, yes yes, I didn't expect...

Shen Ze also smiled: Ha ha.

Everything stems from willfulness. My parents knew that my boss was named Shen, but they didn't connect it with Shen Kuotai; they also knew that I was working here, but they wanted to play with each other, so they didn't inform me that they were coming.

What followed was a 2-minute silence. Everyone felt that no amount of explanation could cover up the absurdity of the incident.

Shen Kuo gave his son winks frequently, and Shen would agree, saying: "I forgot the time while chatting, the banquet is over, I have to pay the bill quickly. Uncles and aunts, sit down first, and I will come up to drink tea with you later." After finishing speaking, he had long legs Take a step and disappear.

Mrs. Shen Kuo also jumped up and said: "Oh, that's right, I have to count the remaining cigarettes and alcohol. You know, getting married is really annoying! Xiaoxiu, Zhiwen, sit down, I will come later !” After the fragrant wind passed, she also disappeared.

They took shelter from the limelight, what about me?

I turned cautiously to my parents.

My dad stood up slowly from the sofa.

I sigh slightly.

My mother also stood up slowly from the sofa.

I took eight steps back.

My mother moved.

As I said before, my mother is petite, but being petite does not mean that she is low in martial arts. Tianshan Child Elder looks only eight or nine years old. But definitely knocks my brains out!

Sure enough, when she made a move, her fingers were like hooks, what is it if it is not a heart-breaking palm!

I won't describe much about the following things, lest you feel bloody, my mother's magical skills have reached perfection, and I am nothing more than a worm in her eyes.In ancient times, there was a criminal law called Cundie, and I am in that situation now.

In desperation, I could only scream: "Don't pull the shirt! It's really Armani! If you take off the collar, you will lose 1 yuan!"

My mother withdrew her hand in a hurry, and suddenly shot again, which was even more ruthless.

At this time my dad spoke up, he said that what the Shen family and I did was ridiculous, but I was also very chivalrous to save my friend in distress, and the crime would not go beyond death!

So my mother's palm suddenly turned and attacked my dad, and my dad fought and retreated.

Father and son are connected, and I couldn't just watch him suffer, so I rushed to my mother and held up my left wrist. There was a large gold Rolex watch weighing several kilograms, which was lent to me by Fuhao Shen in the morning.I said, "Mom, this watch is fifty thousand euros. If you break it, my life will be ruined!"

"I shouldn't have given birth to you back then!" my mother roared.

My dad covered his face and said, "Okay, he's already become the fake son-in-law of the Shen family, what's the use of beating him?"

Protecting my body with a Rolex, I quickly evacuated the room and fled to the corridor to catch my breath.

Just when Shen came out of the elevator, he screamed "tsk" when he saw me, and said, "I haven't seen you for a few minutes, why are you so disfigured?"

"It's hard to say, have you settled the bill?"

"I'm not worried yet, come up and take a look.

I took off the Rolex and gave it to him, saying, "It's all right, but I'm going to flee now, so I'll return the watch to you so that I don't lose it on the way."

He took the watch, but didn't let me go, he said: "Where are you going?"

"Anyway, find a place to stay for two hours first, cold treatment, do you understand? Cold treatment!" After I finished speaking, I ran away, and Shen followed behind and shouted "Wait", I didn't look back, and turned off the phone.

After I walked out of the hotel, I went back to the dormitory and took a nap. When I woke up, it was dark.After turning it on, I found 39 missed calls, 20 were from my mother, 17 were from Shen Ze, and two were from my father.

I started to reflect from the bottom of my heart, and felt sorry for my parents. How could I not have notified such a major event as a fake marriage? So I tremblingly called back the phone and prepared to die, but my mother hung up.I know it's over, her old man will ignore me for at least a month, and I have to kowtow to my ancestor's grave this Qingming.

Afterwards, I found out that they lived in that suite for another 3 days, because Shen Ze forcibly settled the room fee in advance, refunded their bus tickets, and took shifts with Shen Kuotai to accompany them to travel, eat, listen to operas, Soaking in hot springs, visiting shopping malls, and visiting gardens, they insisted on not letting them go back, as if they were going to stay on their honeymoon.My parents managed to get away with it, and they never mentioned me as a fake son-in-law in line with the fine style of cannibalism and shorthands.

Fuhao Shen and Mrs. Shen Kuo later gave me red envelopes respectively. I thought it was too much and I didn't dare to accept it. After all, I was just a fake son-in-law and I deserved it. So Shen gave me the money to check in.He has a bad personality, so I didn't dare to return it directly, so I bought Shen Ran a blender that is said to be able to crush everything from beef, mutton, nuts to whole grains as a wedding gift, and it cost 3000 yuan.If Shen Ran gets tired of looking at Lao Lu in the future, he can still throw him in, and the water will basically leave no traces.

Later, Shen invited me to eat fugu.

Because it was a little embarrassing for two people to eat alone, we waited for a while, and we rushed to the riverside together when Lao Lu was discharged from the hospital and came to the banquet.I won't go into details about the eating process. Although Lao Lu lost his gallbladder, he still eats ferociously, sweating profusely. I don't know what Shen Ran likes about him.