yellow spring blossoms

After persuading Gu Yuanxi, I rushed into the teaching building without looking back. When I thought that Gu Youning and Ziqing were both in this building, my heart beat wildly.I seem to be stepping on the wind under my feet, and I want to see them again soon.For the first time, I found that my courage is so great, even if I face the night and step on the blood, I can't be afraid.

I strode wildly, panting deeply, and ran to the second floor of the stairs, but heard a piercing gunshot.All the pictures seemed to be frozen in my pupils at that moment.I saw that in the dark night, the gun in Gu Youning's hand fell to the ground, and Ziqing, covered in blood, fell heavily into her arms, without a sound.

It was as if my soul had been torn in half from the middle, and my eye sockets were so painful that they were about to split open. The roar from my soul finally erupted slowly, as if it wanted to shake out all the energy in my body.

“啊——！！啊啊啊啊啊啊啊——！！！啊啊啊啊——！！！！”我看着子清的尸体，疯狂的尖叫着，喉头中一片火热腥甜。

Gu Youning looked at me with a pale face, and softly called my name: "Ziyan..."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" The screeching roar could not be suppressed no matter what.

In my blurred vision, I saw that Gu Youning's eye sockets were wet.

That was the first time I saw her cry.

For a moment, the feeling of distress and hatred was entangled in my heart, I staggered towards Gu Youning, then squatted down and looked at Ziqing's body.I reached out to grab her hand, it was still so soft, with my familiar body temperature.

"Ziqing...?" I called her name, hoping she would call me Ziyan as usual.

However, I didn't wait for anything.

I flattened my mouth, holding back the tears in my eyes, not letting them fall.

Seeing my appearance, Gu Youning stretched out his hand towards me, as if he wanted to caress my cheek, but I knocked his hand away.I squatted on the spot and stared at Ziqing quietly, and my eyes finally fell on the gun next to her body. I held it in my hand and stood up unsteadily.

"Ziyan... put down the gun." Gu Youning seemed to have noticed my weirdness, so he stopped me.

I looked for Gu Youning's voice, and then showed a weird smile.

"Is this also a dream?" I looked at Gu Youning and asked her: "I know... this must be my dream... everything will be the same when I wake up from the dream, right?"

Gu Youning looked at me, I saw her lips trembling, but she didn't say a word.

"Wake up from the dream...Ziqing will be by my side...isn't it?" I was still smiling, looking at Gu Youning, but felt my face was cold, as if tears were falling down.I put my hand on the trigger of the pistol, and calmly pointed the muzzle at Gu Youning's forehead. "But even in a dream, I can't forgive you. You killed her...I want you to pay for it!"

Gu Youning looked at me with an indelible tenderness in his eyes.

I heard her say, "OK."

After hearing Gu Youning's answer, my hands actually started to tremble.I just felt a layer of cold sweat from my palms, and my heart was about to burst in pain!I made up my mind to pull the trigger, but found that my body's reaction was faster than my consciousness...it still refused to pull it...

ah... i know...

At this moment, I clearly know that even in my dream, I am reluctant to do such a thing to Gu Youning...

Why……

I just feel the torn soul rumbling inside me.

Great despair swept over me at that moment, completely drowning me.

At that moment, there was no attachment in my life anymore.

"Ziyan!!!" My gaze stayed on the moment Gu Youning rushed towards me, and then I heard the sound of a gunshot.

I had a dream. I dreamed that I was sitting on the train going home. It was getting dark and I had arrived at the station.I got off the train,

Walking towards the exit, I saw Ziqing wearing a thin scarf standing in the middle of the endless stream under the dim light, waiting for me.

"Ziqing! Here...!" Panting heavily, I ran towards her and threw myself into her arms: "Ziqing, let me tell you..."

"Ziyan, you're finally back." Ziqing hugged me in his arms and whispered in my ear.

Tears fell from my eyes at once, and I suddenly felt pain in my heart.

How much hope is hidden in the two words "finally"...

"Ziyan! Ziyan...!" The distant call pulled me away from Ziqing's side. I opened my eyes, and what I saw was still the dim roof and the cold moonlight.Gu Youning, whose face was covered with blood, appeared in my line of sight, and I saw most of the worry in her eyes dissipated the moment I opened my eyes.

"Ziyan...you..." She said eagerly, but I didn't want to hear it at all.

I looked away from Gu Youning's face, I didn't know where to look, I didn't dare to ask about Ziqing, I couldn't even tell whether I was at the train station or at school.I don't even know which side is dreaming.

Seeing me like this, Gu Youning was not in a hurry to talk to me, but just stayed by my side, constantly muttering: "It's good to wake up...It's good to wake up..."

I don't know how long it took before I heard a lot of footsteps approaching me.I saw their trousers from the corner of my eye, and only then did I know that the armed police had already found us.I couldn't get up at all, and I didn't have the strength to move. Gu Youning and them were whispering in my ears, and I didn't have time to listen to what they said.I was lifted up like a corpse, moving towards the school gate, and I didn't know where I was going to be carried.

For the next time, my consciousness was in a trance, and I felt like I was sent to the hospital, where there were doctors in white coats when I woke up.It was as if half of my soul was missing, and I felt an indescribable weakness from the bottom of my heart.I rarely wake up during the day, so when I opened my eyes, I unexpectedly saw the worried faces of my parents.

"Xiaoyan..." My mother called me by my name when she saw me awake, but her eyes turned red after only one word.

"Mom..." I smiled at her.

"Xiaoyan, you're finally awake..." Mom stretched out her hand, held my hand in her palm, and said to me, "If you think this school is too hard... let's stop studying and go back with Mom to rest, okay?"

Listening to my mother's voice, I regained a little consciousness. I only felt that my whole body was terribly tired, so I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Xiao Ning has visited you many times, but you didn't wake up. She said she would come in the afternoon." Mom was talking to me while smoothing my hair.

I closed my eyes after hearing this, shook my head gently and said, "Mom...don't let her come."

"what happened?"

"Mom... from now on... don't let her come again." I didn't have the energy to explain too much, Gu Youning was like a thorn in my heart.As long as I mention it, my heart will bleed, and the pain will never go away.

"Okay." Mom responded as if she understood something.

I never saw Gu Youning again.

During the hospitalization, I did not turn on the TV, my mobile phone, or watch the news.I hardly heard anything about Ziqing, I don't even know where her body went or if there was a funeral.In my impression, Ziqing has always existed, she is just still at home and in high school, as soon as I get off the train and walk into the house, she will sit on the sofa and look at me and say: "Ziyan, you came back."

When the little nurse who gave me the injection came in, she saw that I was staring out of the window again in a daze, so she came to me and said softly, "Ziyan, it's time for an injection."

I turned my head to look at her, and saw that she was surrounded by sunlight, her long hair was pulled into a bun behind her head.Fair skin, gentle eyebrows and eyes are all shining under the soft light, and he mistook the wrong person in a trance: "Ziqing."

The little nurse was startled, and replied, "Yes."

My eyes were red because of her answer, I pursed my lips and stretched out my hand, letting her give me the needle.

"If this can relieve your pain, you can also call me Ziqing." The little nurse said.

Then my red eyes overflowed with tears, she naturally didn't know how much my heart ached every time I called this name.

It was autumn when I was discharged from the hospital.I was wearing a beige windbreaker, and I was standing at the entrance of the hospital with some of my belongings, waiting for my parents to come out.The little nurse came to see me off, eyes full of reluctance.

"Ziyan, take care of yourself when you go back," she said.

"Hmm." I nodded.

"Still... Can't tell the difference between dreams and reality?" She frowned and asked worriedly.

"How do you know that the conversation with me is not a dream?" I looked at her with a smile, and said, "I am now... just having a long nightmare... When I wake up, I will go to sleep again. I can see Ziqing now."

"You know..." The little nurse became anxious when she heard what I said, and hurriedly wanted to explain it again.

I gestured to her to stop and said, "I just don't want to believe that I'm in hell on earth."

The little nurse wanted to say something more, but I suddenly felt a gaze. I turned around and saw a woman standing under the maple tree outside the hospital, a familiar and beautiful woman.In just a few months, she seemed to have matured again, her long curly hair was already past her waist, and her eyes were full of affection that I have been familiar with for a long time.

"Has Xiaoyan been waiting for a long time?" I was staring at her when I heard my mother's voice from behind, and hurried over to help them carry things.

"No." I hurried over to help my parents carry things, said goodbye to the little nurse, and obediently followed my parents out of the hospital gate.

Gu Youning obviously saw me coming out and walked towards me.I stopped and stood opposite her, and saw her gentle smiling face.

"The hair has grown." Gu Youning said.

I looked down at the tip of my hair, it was indeed long.It turns out that the short hair that just passed the ears has now reached the shoulders.

"It's beautiful." Seeing that I didn't speak, Gu Youning continued.

I didn't know how to answer, I just looked into her eyes and said three words: "I'm leaving."

"Are you coming back?" Gu Youning asked.

"No." I said, "Never again."

Time seemed to stand still, and I felt there was no longer any reason to stop.Then I passed by Gu Youning, and just when I took two steps, I heard Gu Youning say: "I didn't kill Ziqing."

I just felt the corners of my mouth twitch|twitch slightly, showing a cold smile, and left without looking back.

The author has something to say: You are a false spring, a journey that cannot return together, and a big spring and autumn dream that I bury under my pillow day after day and year after year.