yellow spring blossoms

On the way home, I kept feeling uneasy, thinking about Ziqing's eyes, and thinking about my mother's angry look.The wind was chilly at night, I stubbornly wrapped my clothes tightly and walked against the wind.I have no regrets, I told myself in my heart, I just did what I thought was right at this moment.

However, when I came home, my mother greeted me to dinner as usual, as if nothing happened.I sat at the table and peeked at her out of the corner of my eye, wondering if she hadn't discovered the shoes yet.Ziqing ate silently. I always felt that the way she held the chopsticks was a bit awkward, but I couldn't tell where the awkwardness was.

After a meal, I was about to wash the dishes, but I heard my mother say: "Let the son do the cleaning."

I watched Ziqing clean up the dishes neatly, and then went into the kitchen.I also followed, and saw that she rolled up her sleeves and turned on the faucet to wash the dishes, but when her hands just touched the cold water, she shrank unconsciously.

"What happened to your hand?" I asked her.

"Nothing." Zi cleaned the bowl and answered me.

"Let me see." I walked up to her and grabbed her wrist to see.It's okay if I don't look at it, but it hurts me when I look at it.Ziqing's fair hands were already swollen, and the palms were covered with red marks.I just felt tears overflowing my eye sockets, and I asked with my mouth flattened, "Does it hurt?"

"It hurts." Ziqing answered me.

"You idiot... just let me bear the burden of the bad things I did... why did you do this..." I put Ziqing's hand in my palm, and suddenly it seemed like a knife was stuck in my heart.

Ziqing didn't speak, just looked at me quietly, and I looked up at her, wanting an answer.

But I heard her say: "I don't know why."

She continued to answer: "I only know that when my mother found out, my mouth was the first to admit it."

"Fool." I hugged her and buried my face in her shoulder.

"Ziyan, in terms of IQ, who is more like a fool?"

"You..." A vein popped out of my head, and I strangled Ziqing's neck tightly and repeated, "You you you!"

Ziqing also reached out and hugged me in his arms, smiling.

Hearing Ziqing's laughter, I felt warm in my heart, as if I had become the happiest person in the world.

At night, I climbed into Ziqing's bed and slept with her.Ziqing stretched out a hand, hugged me in his arms, and asked me, "Are you still angry with me?"

I shook my head, thought for a while, and asked again: "Do you dislike Yan'er so much?"

Ziqing thought for a while, and replied: "It's not that I don't like it. I just think... that life and death are very sad things... I'm afraid you will be sad."

"I still have you." I buried my face in Ziqing's chest, closed my eyes and replied, "Ziqing, in this world, as long as you are still by my side, I can bear anything."

Ziqing was silent after listening to my words, and it took me a long time to hear her ask: "Ziyan, do you have any fantasies about the future?"

"No." I replied, feeling that the future is too far away, far away and unknown.

"I have thought about it." Ziqing continued: "In the future, I want to have my own house and my own job. I go to and from work every day, and when I get home, you are here. I am satisfied."

"You are so easy to be satisfied." I laughed, and then said, "However, life is actually like this."

"En." Ziqing responded.

From that day on, Ziqing occasionally accompanied me to the hospital and stayed with Qin Yan.But she basically didn't talk much, she just took a book and read it quietly not far from me and Qin Yan, until I was about to go home, then closed the book and went home with me.

Qin Yan unexpectedly likes Ziqing, and always likes to lean over to read books with her, and we just surround Ziqing on one side.Qin Yan's thinking is jumping and flexible, and there are always many new ideas that need to be answered by Ziqing.

At this time, Ziqing would stop reading and explain to Qin Yan seriously.

I can see the light in Yan'er's eyes when she looks at Ziqing, I have never seen her so energetic.

Another day, I went to the hospital to look for Qin Yan.Qin Yan was lying sickly on the bed, and when she saw me, she sat up excitedly, and then looked behind me: "Where is Ziqing? Why didn't you come today?"

"She has some things in school." I sat down, opened the handmade bento, and handed it to her: "I made it this morning, try it."

"Enen, it's delicious." Qin Yan took a bite of the cut tomato, and continued to ask: "Where is Ziqing after class? Will you come after class?"

"They said they wanted to go home directly." I replied, "Are you looking for her?"

"Don't look for it." Qin Yan lay back on the bed after hearing this, looked at the pale roof of the hospital and said, "I just feel that I haven't been alone with you, Ziyan, for a long time."

I laughed after hearing this: "Isn't it today?"

After Qin Yan was full, she moved into the bed and asked me to lie on the bed with her.I found that she was really thin, and the bed was so narrow that we didn't feel crowded lying side by side.

"Ziyan, if I die one day, will you remember me?" In the quiet room, only Qin Yan's voice was light and floating, like a mist that would disperse at any time. my hold.

"No, you won't die." I answered seriously and shook her back: "I firmly believe it."

"Will you remember me?" she asked repeatedly.

"Of course." I nodded, "I will remember it forever."

After hearing what I said, Qin Yan slightly raised the corners of her lips and said, "I don't have a deep impression on my parents. They left after they knew I was sick, saying they wanted to give me money for medical treatment. I haven't seen them either. My grandpa told me that my parents gave me my name. I was just thinking... this name, once the wind blows, there will be nothing left. Do they... also want to I just disappeared without a sound... But I won't disappear... Absolutely not."

"That's not true." I replied, "Your name sounds nice. Now... close your eyes now and listen to me."

Qin Yan obediently closed his eyes, and I followed suit: "Now... you can imagine that we are lying in the endless golden wheat fields. Above our heads is a very blue sky, occasionally there are a few clouds Foam drifts over... like cotton candy melting in the sky... Farther away is a simple town. At noon, everyone should have dinner, and smoke rises from the sky above the town..."

"The smoke follows the air...melting into this beautiful picture...isn't it beautiful..." As I said this, I opened my eyes and looked sideways at Qin Yan beside me, and found that she had fallen asleep with her eyes closed .Her breathing was soft and her expression was serene.I felt a rare peace in my heart, and said to her with a smile: "Yan'er, good afternoon."

After that, we spent big and small festivals with Qin Yan together, including my birthday.Qin Yan specially dressed up for my birthday.She was wearing the wig she was most satisfied with, wearing those oversized red high-heeled shoes, and borrowed cosmetics from the big sister in the hospital to put on light makeup.I saw her wearing a certain wide-brimmed straw hat and her favorite pure white cherry dress, turning around in front of me and asking, "Do I look good?"

"Nice." I smiled and clapped my hands.

"What do you think?" Qin Yan raised her eyebrows, walked up to Ziqing and asked her.

"It's okay." Ziqing replied.

"I remember you said that this dress is pretty." Qin Yan seemed dissatisfied with Ziqing's answer, looking down at the skirt and said.

"Ziyan, I've booked a hotel, let's take a taxi there later." Ziqing ignored Qin Yan's words, and turned to look at me.

"Hotel? Will it be very expensive?" I heard Ziqing say this, and my heart twisted.We are all students, how can we have so much money.

"No." Ziqing smiled: "I saved a lot of money from part-time job, it's enough, let's go."

"Okay." I calmed down, and Ziqing and I went out the door while supporting Qin Yan.

When we were going out, we ran into Qin Yan's attending physician. Although I had already asked for leave, I asked again.

"Doctor, can we go out?"

"Yes." The doctor's uncle stretched his eyebrows, looked at Qin Yan lovingly and said, "Let's have fun."

Qin Yan seemed to figure out some other meaning from his tone, turned his head and left.

My 14th birthday was like a dream, with a breezy summer night, we were grilling meat and eating cakes in the barbecue area behind the hotel.Qin Yan put a birthday crown on my head and said to me, "Ziyan, I wish you a happy birthday."

I couldn't close my mouth from ear to ear, I went forward and hugged Qin Yan in my arms and said, "Yan'er, thank you."

I don't know if it's because I ate too much barbecue or what, but I always feel stomach ache and keep running to the toilet.Ziqing was very worried and also ran back and forth with me.I thought this would affect everyone's appetite, so I resolutely stopped Ziqing from following me.I squatted in the hotel toilet for a long time, trying to solve it once, but when I went back, I heard Ziqing and Yan'er quarrel.

"What's wrong with me than Fang Ziyan? Why can't you like me?" Qin Yan's voice entered my ears immediately, and I stopped moving forward, standing where I didn't know what to do.

"There is no comparison at all." Ziqing replied.

"I really don't understand, what's so good about her? She's stupid and naive all day long, cowardly and incompetent, but she thinks she's a savior, after all, isn't she just reading my joke?" Qin Yan laughed.

"Shut up." Ziqing seemed impatient, and said to her, "Ziyan is not this kind of person."

"Do you know better than me?" Qin Yan said.

"She gave you everything now, what else do you want?" Ziqing asked her, "Do you know how much Ziyan was scolded for the shoes on your feet?"

"What's wrong with being scolded?" Qin Yan immediately retorted: "She is willing. If you have the ability, can you persuade her? She was fooled by me. Compared with me, a person who is about to die, it doesn't hurt. What's wrong with scolding without itching?"

No Ziqing's voice came again, I felt as if my heart was pinched by someone, the pain was so painful that I couldn't breathe.

"Fang Ziqing, why can't you fulfill my wish? All I want is you! Is it difficult to spend a night with me?"

"It's disgusting." Ziqing replied.

"Disgusting?" Qin Yan chewed these two words repeatedly and suddenly laughed: "Fang Ziqing, remember what you said today, you will get retribution for doing this to a dying person!"

"Poor person, there must be something to hate. Not everyone will treat you as well as Ziyan. You should think about it clearly."

Seeing that Ziqing was coming towards me, I hurried back to the hotel, pretending that I had just come out.

"Does your stomach still hurt?" Ziqing asked when he saw me.I heard her gentle voice, as if she had never quarreled with Qin Yan.

"No...it doesn't hurt anymore." I clutched my stomach in panic and said, "I...I want to go back to the hotel and sleep for a while."

"I'll go with you," Ziqing said.

"No! No need, you and Yan'er will play below, and I'll come down after I've rested." I said in a hurry, and then ran away without looking back.