Kuai Chuan Zhi Won't Love You Again

Su Nianjue thought back to the years when she was just out of school looking for a job.

For a while I was terrified.All the things I learned in college turned into blurred square characters, which slapped my face like hot wind at night.There are girls in the dormitory who go out to take the postgraduate entrance examination, and some people are from rich families who are not in a hurry to find a job, but she is just a little transparent with no background and ability, living a life of eating and dying in this ordinary college.The future—what is the future?This concept was empty in her mind, like a piece of snow-white paper.She thought about tearing it apart, thinking about throwing it away, but she never knew how to paint it into a scroll.

Maybe it is the same now.Find a job, adapt, persevere, and then stay in a certain company, run errands, do work and write manuscripts every day, and then the day passes like this.One day has passed, can a year be far behind?She can't find joy in life.She is not like Xie Ling, Xie Ling is smart, decisive, and courageous, but she is a little confused about emotional matters, but Xie Ling is already wonderful enough.

Su Nianjue grinned, not worried about whether it was ugly, "This city is very rich. Have you thought about what to do?"

Zheng Anyuan's eyes were unpredictable, "I majored in advertising in college."

Su Nianjue froze for a moment, "You like it?"

Zheng Anyuan didn't speak.

"Actually, I'm quite depressed staying here alone. You see, there are either nail houses or a bunch of old men and old ladies around." Su Nianjue looked downstairs, "It's not bad, but it's been too long. It will probably be rambling, just like being nervous."

"I know."

"What?" Su Nianjue didn't understand what he meant.

"I sometimes feel that I'm crazy." He looked at her word by word, and said slowly.

Su Nianjue inexplicably compares Tong Jin and Zheng Anyuan together.Tong Jin is a normal-looking man.He has a house and a car, has a decent job, looks ordinary but upright, and has a cheerful and measured personality, but he keeps his secrets about the past, and even uses her as some kind of replica to find comfort; Zheng Anyuan seems to be a man who doesn't fit in.He is thin and taciturn. He is a young boy who has gone to work in a strange city. He may have full of ideals, but now he is extremely cruel, but he still has the innocence of a child, and the "secondary school" and childishness unique to some children.

Su Nianjue thought that she probably didn't like the word neuropathy.Like most people, she also yearns for a sunny, warm and quality life.She is also afraid of the cold and the dark.

But she was never that kind of person.

"Zheng Anyuan..." Su Nianjue patted him on the shoulder, "Have a drink with my sister."

Zheng Anyuan had a drink with a strange woman for the first time, and saw her find a few old songs on her mobile phone and play them on repeat, with a cigarette in her left hand and a wine can in her right, she looked very lonely.

"When you become prosperous in the future, you must decorate this house for me." She scratched her head and smiled helplessly, "Now I feel that I chose such a place because my brain was trapped by the door."

Zheng Anyuan felt that she must have regretted it, but later he figured out that if she really regretted it, she probably wouldn't stay in this place forever.What she hates is not this dilapidated old building, but the strangeness that cannot be driven away.

He got up very early the next day, and the enthusiasm and sincerity of a stranger to him made him feel that his life had some motivation.It's just that in this huge city, finding a decent and suitable job is not a particularly easy task.

Which university did you graduate from.

What degree do you have.

Do you have work experience?

Do you think you are up to the job.

Do you have any plans for future work?

Thanks, next one.

Thank you, next.

Next.

Next.

Next.

Just like that, over and over again.

Zheng Wan discussed with Su Nianjue at the beginning.He will stay for at most three days before leaving.But the two dragged on, and Zheng Anyuan stayed for more than ten days.As soon as Zheng Wan heard that her younger brother hadn't found a job, she was in a panic, and secretly discussed with Su Nianjue that she would come here to take him back.

"Isn't it the same when you were looking for a job? Why don't you give him a chance?"

"Nianjue, you don't know the situation of our family. There is only one son in my family. He doesn't even have a job now. My parents are dying of anxiety."

"Why don't you discuss it with him again. If you come here directly, he will definitely resist."

The two chatted for a few more minutes, Su Nianjue put down his phone, turned around and saw Zheng Anyuan standing at the door.

Boring shattered hair, pure black eyes like muzzle black.

The two were awkwardly silent for a while.

Zheng Anyuan suddenly turned around and walked to another room, closing the door with a "bang".

Su Nianjue stood on the spot and stared, it took a while to react.She scratched her hair and sighed for no reason.

Zheng Anyuan suddenly became "shameless".He didn't go out to look for a job anymore, he just stayed in the room and played games. When Zheng Wan called, he hung up immediately, and once almost broke his phone.Su Nianjue guessed that he might have taken in a fake classmate younger brother before, so the tacit understanding that was finally rubbed off became weird.Fortunately, even though he was reluctant, Zheng Anyuan would still get up and cook for Su Nianjue during the three meals a day, just like performing a task that had to be completed.

Su Nianjue's life has not changed much.The salary should be the same and the same, Xie Ling should be the same, and she herself is a little entangled occasionally, and it doesn't matter after a while.On the other hand, Zheng Anyuan, who stays at home every day, seems to have lost several catties at a glance, his whole body is numb and decadent, with heavy dark circles under his eyes, Su Nianjue is suddenly very scared - she is afraid that Zheng Wan will directly beat her to death seeing him like this.

In this way, she started a tug-of-war with Zheng Anyuan.Although it seems like this, Zheng Anyuan is really not a good-tempered child, but fortunately he still remembers her kindness in taking her in, and he will only complain in the room, and most of the time he will not share his relationship with his family. The matter involved her.

On Saturday morning, Su Nian woke up very early, went to the bathroom to go to the bathroom, and rubbed her eyes while scrolling through the web.Most of the web pages are boring, but fortunately enough to pass this even more boring morning.After washing her hands and planning to go back to the room, Su Nianjue yawned and moved towards the destination step by step, until she saw another room with the door not closed, she stopped.

At this time, Su Nianjue's mind suddenly had many weird ideas, such as what to do if a thief breaks into the house in the middle of the night, whether Zheng Anyuan is in the room now, or what should she do if Zheng Wan rushes in... She still has questions about these questions. Without understanding, she silently opened the half-closed door.

The door just made a light, harsh sound as it rubbed against the ground.The curtains are thick and keep the warm sunlight out of the room.Zheng Anyuan was probably sleeping in a cup—Su Nianjue couldn't find his shadow in the flat quilt.She only saw a handful of black hair standing out from the whiteness, standing on top of his head a little cutely.

Maybe it was because he was too tired from playing games yesterday, Zheng Anyuan didn't respond to Su Nianjue's outstanding interruption.Su Nianjue imagined that Zheng Anyuan opened his eyes and found a woman standing in front of him, and he was inexplicably happy.But she didn't stay for long, but still tiptoed out of the room.When he was about to leave the room, he saw that the computer was in a sleep state, so he stepped forward and pressed a button, intending to help him turn off the computer.

The computer turns from dark to bright.A video suddenly popped up on the computer, Su Nianjue shook his hands, the mouse clicked twice, and the video started playing.

In the thick gray fog, a man with an ax appeared in his eyes.Su Nianjue noticed that the ax was still dripping with bright red blood.In such a chilly morning, such a bloody and gloomy scene gave Su Nianjue a chill down his spine.At this moment, a vigilant voice sounded from behind, "What are you doing?"

Su Nianjue turned around and saw Zheng Anyuan staring at her with an unkind attitude.Su Nianjue unconsciously shrugged and surrendered.

"I wanted to turn off the computer for you..."

Zheng Anyuan held the quilt tightly, "I don't need it, thank you."

Su Nianjue sighed, "Okay."

"Actually, I really didn't mean to."

Su Nianjue said to him before closing the door.In fact, she just thought that she might be able to get close to him in some way, but she seemed a little naive in thinking.But for his privacy, she really didn't mean it.Whether he likes to play games or watch horror movies, she has no position to accuse him.

However, that movie does seem a little scary.When returning to the room, Su Nianjue thought silently.

At noon, the two had a simple meal, and Su Nianjue played with his mobile phone while eating.After the meal, she cleaned up the dishes, and Zheng Anyuan stood at the door of the kitchen.

"Sister Su..."

Su Nianjue's mind was empty, when she suddenly heard Zheng Anyuan calling her, she wiped the foam off her face, "Well, what's wrong?"

"Actually, I don't like studying advertising."

Su Nianjue nodded, "I know, I can see that I also hated my major at that time."

Zheng Anyuan didn't speak.

"Then what are you interested in?"

"...I like writing novels."

Zheng Anyuan said that he likes to write horror novels, and every time he writes these, he has a feeling of blood rushing.He felt that he could see something in the novel that others couldn't see—a new world that really existed and could not be seen by ordinary people.

Su Nianjue listened to his story in silence.She didn't know what to say to him, maybe her suggestion was insignificant, but she was more afraid of missing an opportunity to help him because of taking responsibility.

In fact, is Zheng Anyuan wrong?There is nothing wrong with not liking one's major, nothing wrong with liking horror movies, and nothing wrong with writing novels, so what do these represent?He is just taciturn, so he has to be labeled as different, or these hobbies are always not popular in the eyes of his family, and they appear deformed and peculiar.Perhaps everyone's life must be examined and criticized in the eyes of others, but no one can replace one's own life.

Su Nianjue can imagine the expression on her parents' faces when they know that she doesn't want to get married. Most of them are disappointed and angry. If she knows the reason, she will definitely be hysterical.What can she do?She also wants to have her own life, even if it's just a simple one. She longs for being able to make choices about her life—even if it's wrong.

She's confused at times why we make ourselves the way we are.But life is so unfree, isn't it?

"So you're not playing games every day?"

"Watching some movies, I will find inspiration from them."

Su Nianjue put down the bowl, "Do you have a draft, show me."