I meet a lot of people in my life, keep a distance from anyone in my life, but only want to meet you

It's going to be annoying!You are a pig!idiot!I really can't stand it!Come fight!You always ask the price mercilessly, arguing 500!All my mistakes pay bloody every time!mad at you!I just want to piss you off!You block me every time!don't let me talk!Make me so angry I'm about to explode!I'll turn your photo into a pig's head and throw it at you!Then you locked me in a small dark room!But YZ. Now every time I recover, I feel colder, and every time I improve, I go back to the past and become the person in the past... Even if I become the person in the past, I will still miss you, all the silence is in my heart, all The past carried too many missions, until everything destroyed me...all the people I loved, pushed me to the brink of death..., it is not my innocence when I first met you, I have walked through too much There are many roads, thousands of mountains and rivers have been traveled, and all the pains and sorrows have been tasted... everything is irreversible.Because of chasing after you, you finally let me only see you, and let all my misery gradually melt away with your existence, you really are my sun