I meet a lot of people in my life, keep a distance from anyone in my life, but only want to meet you

Do you wait until this winter comes completely, do you wait until this winter is completely frosty and snowy?I have thought about the ending ten thousand times, maybe there is no ending at all, maybe you will leave after sending me to a healthy state, but if I wait until then, I think I will leave first.For the first time in my life, I want to try my best to go to you. I thought that what I did had changed a lot, and I started to go in your direction.Maybe I can't see you, maybe you will never come, or you finally let me see all the dodging and escaping I used to do. It's really like Don't Z said, I'm too fragile.But I have experienced too much, I am really tired and want to go to your arms.Maybe you will never come back to me, maybe I told you that if you die, you must take me with you, if you leave me alone, I will not be able to live... Maybe I have forgotten you too many times, maybe let you live Too much anger, maybe it's like I waited until I was better before returning to the way I met you at the beginning.So it's not you who owe me, it's I who owe you...