Jiaotong Yanxi

"Xiaoyan, the composition test report of the pills is out." Xiaoyan, you don't know how much courage it took me to tell you the truth. I don't want you who just came out of the pain of losing the small gatehouse to step into another Abyss of pain.

But I knew that if you found out later, it would hurt you even more, so I hesitated all night and chose to report the truth.

Seeing you rushing into the room of the fairy tale, I also hurried over, the scene in front of me cannot be explained by the fairy tale.At that time, I wanted to tell you that you didn't even know that this brat looked honest on the surface, but he was actually a ghost in his heart. He had already found out about our affairs, so we didn't have to hide it in front of him at all, and He still wanted to threaten me with this matter yesterday... But looking at the fairy tale lying unconscious on the bed and you crying hoarsely beside the bed, I swallowed all these words.

Seeing you crying and calling your uncle and aunt, and every punch your aunt punched on you, every word of slander and insult you said, my heart is bleeding.

"Broom star?" I politely call you uncle and aunt, don't think that you can be lawless like this!Xiaoyan is such a special existence, why, why do you use such words to describe him? !

I was too anxious at the time, I didn't pay attention and pushed my aunt to the ground all at once, and you turned around and slapped me, but it was useless at all.I knew you cared about me.

In the next few days, when I saw you crying in pain every day, and constantly using alcohol to anesthetize yourself, I wish I could be you, bear those sorrows and pains for you, and bear those pains and tortures for fairy tales. , as long as you can be happy, as long as you can treat yourself well.I find that I am really incompetent sometimes, besides crying with you, drinking with you, hugging you, patting you, I really can't think of any other way to make you more comfortable.

Every time you say: "Brother Tonghua, I'm sorry..." I will always say "Xiaoyan, what you have done is good enough", really, I am not flattering or flattering.If I were you, I would never be able to devote so much love and care to a younger brother who is not a compatriot. It is my limit to give him a good face.

Xiaoyan, your brother deserves it all.And I am ashamed to be your boyfriend.

Although your aunt scolded you like that, and even called you a disaster star, you resisted and asked me to arrange accommodation and daily necessities for them.

You not only have to comfort Fairy Tale, but also consider your uncle and aunt's feelings, and even told me to eat on time, but you only forgot about yourself.

Xiaoyan, I really don't have any other skills. Apart from strength, I only have this skin. I can give you a solid shoulder for you to rely on.Cry, cry out loud, no matter what decision Fairy Tale makes, you are the one who lives soberly and bears the pain.

"Xiaoyan, everyone has their own way of life, everyone has their own choices, not necessarily what we think is correct, does Fairy Tale have his own reasons for doing this? There is a death, but some people are early, some people are late. Since we are all born to die, do you want Fairy Tale to spend it in the long pain, or do you want him to enjoy the short-term happiness?"

My tongue is all tied up, and I'm almost confused, but there is only one meaning in the end, that is, I hope you, and fairy tales, can think about it and stop being so painful.

I didn't expect my words to work, and you and Uncle finally compromised.Fairy Tale's trick has succeeded again.

But I know that you answered the fairy tale, but you still feel worried about him, and once □□Bai Xiaofeng Clinic called several times to ask him how he was feeling, you almost got tired of asking the fairy tale.To be honest, I'm kind of annoyed.

One day you locked him at home and didn’t let him go out, the fairy tale was so boring that you could only lie on the bed and sleep soundly, and then you squatted beside his bed to watch him sleep, if I didn’t pull you, you probably would be in trouble Squatting and watching him all night without eating or drinking.

It’s time to come. In the last few days of Fairy Tale, the internal organs failed, and I vomited blood. I covered your eyes and dared not let you see, but through your wet cheeks and trembling shoulders, I still feel To your helplessness and despair.

There are only a few days until August 8th... I hope that Fairy Tale can persist, and I hope that he will stop persisting... Humans are a complex of contradictions after all.

Fairy Tale did not make it to his 18th birthday in the end.

The fairy tale about eating KFC all day long and wanting to grow tall just disappeared.The fairy tale that surrounded you with a calcium tablet jar all day is gone.I don't know if Bai Xiaofeng would feel lonely without someone shouting "Master, Master" all day long.

You cried from the ward to the mortuary, from the balance to the crematorium, and then to the cemetery with the urn in your arms. I don’t know when, but I followed you to the countryside, and watched you cry all the way. My heart was empty. It was the first time that I felt the feeling of parting from life and death so truly.Fortunately, the knife I cut on my wrist was relatively light.

"Hua'er, won't it be cold if you sleep here?" You said blankly as you touched the loess on the ground.

Xiaoyan, it's summer, there are insects screaming and birds flying in the field, how lively it is.Besides, I burned the diary to Fairy Tale, and also burned a lot of clothes. He won't be lonely, and he won't be cold anymore. He will definitely get prickly heat from covering him. After two days, you still have to ask me to buy some prickly heat powder for him to burn.

"Words, if you have anything unfinished, just dream about it for me, and I will do it for you." You talked about it so that my skin got goosebumps.

Xiaoyan, he has no regrets in fairy tales, probably the only wish now is to hope that you will not be sad anymore.

……

Xiaoyan, I will always be by your side.I said this sentence again, but I really didn't want to say it a third time.

On the car back to the city, you fell asleep leaning on my shoulder, seeing your red eyes and tired face, I suddenly breathed a sigh of relief.These days are really hard for you.

There was an immature child's voice next to my ear, and after listening carefully, I realized that it came from a passage from "The Book of Songs":

He is cunning and childish, don't talk to me.Because of Weizi, I can't eat.

He is cunning and childish, so he won't eat with me.Because of Weizi, I can't rest.

I looked at the thriving scene outside the window, and tears fell from the corner of my eyes unconsciously.Turning my head to look at your sleeping face, it took me a long time to recover.I clenched my clenched fists, trying not to let myself cry out. If you see this cowardly and incompetent look, you won't laugh your ass off.

It turns out that what I want is always to be with you, always by your side, I just want you to always stay by my side...

Xiaoyan, it's so kind of you to be here all the time...