i know i'm sick

There was no trace of relaxation on his face.Ling Ran caressed his face lightly, the affection in his eyes seemed to condense into water, and it was about to drip down.

Ling Ran asked: "How is it? Can it be cured?"

Zhang Qian said: "Physical and physical illnesses. The physical illness is a chronic illness. Although it can be seen that he has been recuperating over the years, he didn't heal well at first, and the root cause of the disease was left behind. No matter how much he adjusted, it would only treat the symptoms and not the root cause. Besides, he was very thoughtful. , Xi hurts the heart, anger hurts the liver, sorrow hurts the lungs, fear hurts the kidneys, and internally hurts the seven emotions. Except for joy, he hurts everything. If this continues, I am afraid that the life expectancy will not be long."

Ling Ran suppressed the dull pain in his chest and asked, "Is there any way to cure it?"

Zhang Qian said, "Yes, but it will cost a lot."

Ling Ran said: "No matter what the price is, as long as he can be cured."

Zhang Qian sighed: "As for his heart disease... I have nothing to do."

When Ling Ran heard this, his body froze all of a sudden.He asked, "Why?"

Zhang Qian said: "I have treated many people. I have seen countless patients with insanity and dementia. But this is the first time I have seen a patient like An Ning. In fact, I don't think he needs any treatment. , he has prescribed medicine for himself."

Ling Ran's expression was ugly, and he asked, "What do you mean?"

Zhang Qian said: "In the dungeon more than ten years ago, he almost went crazy. What I mean by crazy is not the 'crazy' he is now, but the real madness. I'm afraid he may Realized, in order to prevent himself from becoming a real lunatic, he prescribed a medicine for himself, and this medicine is what he called 'A Ning'."

Ling Ran asked: "You mean, 'A Ning' is not only not his disease, but also his medicine?"

Zhang Qian said: "'A Ning' is naturally a disease. You should have heard of fighting poison with poison, and An Ning is also treating a disease with a disease."

Ling Ran clenched his fists tightly, the bones in his fingers creaked, and he said: "Since it is a disease, it must be cured."

Zhang Qian shook his head and said: "I don't agree. His mind is also considered strong. He suffered great changes in his relationship and almost lost his life several times. It is not easy to be in such a state today. He knows exactly what 'A Ning' is." , and also know what 'A Ning' means to him. Ling Ran, heart disease needs a heart medicine doctor, what is his heart medicine, do you need me to say?"

Ling Ran was speechless, and after a while, he answered with difficulty: "It's me."

Zhang Qian said: "It's you. He knows this himself, so he doesn't want to be cured. To him, you are both heart medicine and poison. It is true that you can cure his heart disease. But being poisoned to death, isn’t it worth the loss? Ling Ran, if I must prescribe a medicine for him, I will let you stay as far away from him as possible, and it is best not to see each other again.”

Ling Ran looked back at Yang Anning's sleeping face, held his hand tightly, intertwined with his fingers.Ling Ran said: "Impossible. I will never leave him again, and I will not let him leave me. His past, good and bad, are all because of me; his future will only be with me."

Zhang Qian sighed again: "He split the past with you into two parts. The happy ones belong to 'A Ning'; the ones that belong to you are deception, betrayal and torture. Your appearance is to remind him of those things. Painful past. No one likes to go through pain again, so why do you push him? It’s best for him to let go.”

Ling Ran said: "I will make it up to him, and I will give him happiness. All the past... will pass one day."

Zhang Qian said: "But to him, you are pain itself. How can pain bring him happiness? Ling Ran, let it go."

Ling Ran closed his eyes: "I won't let go. Instead of thinking about how to make me let go, it's better to think of other ways."

Zhang Qian said: "He can't stand the torment anymore. The ups and downs of emotions are taboo. Excessive emotions will not only hurt the spirit, but also hurt the body. Let me help him adjust his body first."

Ling Ran stroked Yang Anning's fingers and said, "I know, please."

40.

Until nightfall, Yang Anning was still sleeping deeply.Zhang Qian said that he was exhausted today, and it would be good for him to sleep more.

Ling Ran stayed with him in his room all the time, he looked at Yang Anning as if looking at the whole world.

For him, the past decade has been a hell of a decade.The news of Yang Anning's death took away his heart, and while he recognized his own intentions, he lost the chance to make amends forever.He thought that his whole life would be like this, ruthless, tearless, careless and careless.God had given him the best person, but he himself did not cherish it.Neglecting a loved one and then losing it forever is the worst punishment.

How many times he woke up in the middle of the night, he wanted to strangle himself to death, as long as he recognized his heart earlier, he and An Ning would not be separated from each other forever like now.He has dreamed of Yang Anning countless times, and the person in his dream is still gentle, but no matter how much he chases after him, that person will always be out of his reach.When I wake up from the dream, everything is empty, even if my breasts are wet with tears, I will never find that person again.

Except for Xiao Jiang, no one knew that his heart was ashamed.But even Xiao Jiang couldn't solve a person who was completely hopeless.Xiao Jiang once asked him, would he forget Yang Anning?If he is willing, Xiao Jiang can make him forget.He refused.How could he forget An Ning?After An Ning gave him the best feelings, how can he forget them again?He didn't want to, and didn't dare.He would rather suffer from lovesickness and regret forever than lose any trace of peace.

But God didn't give up on him completely, Yang Anning was still alive.

It was Xiao Jiang who told him the news.

That day, Xiao Jiang stopped him and said: "A few days ago, a caravan came from the north, and we happened to have something to trade with them, so I met them."

Ling Ran has long ignored Xinghe's affairs, he said: "If you need anything, you can decide."

Xiao Jiang held him back and looked straight at him: "A'Ning, you have to listen carefully to what I'm going to say next."

Ling Ran motioned him to speak quickly.

Xiao Jiang said: "Ah Ning, they said that Zheliu Villa is the biggest business in the north now, and the owner of Zheliu Villa is their third owner. They all call him 'Master Yang'."

Ling Ran's mind went blank for a moment, he grabbed Xiao Jiang's arm instead, with a ferocious expression on his face, he gritted his teeth and asked, "What did you say?"

Xiao Jiang said: "Ah Ning, I have someone check it out, that person is him, Yang Anning is not dead, he is still alive."

Ling Ran's pupils dilated unconsciously, and tears flowed down instantly. He grabbed Xiao Jiang firmly and asked, "What you said is true? You didn't lie to me?"

Xiao Jiang pressed his head on his shoulder and said, "It's true, Ah Ning. He's still alive, go find him."

Ling Ran whimpered like a small animal.

An Ning is not dead.An Ning he is still alive.He still has a chance to make amends.

This is a gift from God to him, and he will never let it go.

Ling Ran almost immediately left for Zheliu Villa.For his reunion with Yang Anning, he made all kinds of plans, but the only thing he didn't expect was that Yang Anning went crazy.

Ling Ran helped Yang Anning tuck the quilt.

No one can separate him from An Ning. Whether An Ning is crazy or sick, even if he dies, he will accompany him this time.

The pain of losing a loved one is enough.

41.

Yang Anning slept for two days.

Maybe it was because Yang Anning had laid out all the things in his heart, so Yang Anning slept soundly.

When he woke up, Ah Ran was sleeping beside him.

Yang Anning could tell at a glance that he was Ah Ran, not Ah Ning.

Ah Ning is still young, always the same as he remembers, lively, flamboyant, and occasionally a little self-willed; but Ah Ran, his face has seen vicissitudes, and those youthful frivolity no longer exist in him.During those gluey days, Yang Anning had fantasized about what a mature Ling Ran would look like, and the person in front of him gave him the answer.

Ling Ran opened his eyes and saw Yang Anning looking down at him.Ling Ran subconsciously reached out to touch his face, it was warm, not a dream.

Yang Anning touched his eye sockets with his fingers, and said, "When did you come back? Haven't you slept well these days? Your eye sockets are all black."

Ling Ran's nose soured, and tears almost flowed out.Will care about his peace, he hasn't seen him for too long, in the past ten years, even in his dreams, he hasn't seen him again.Ling Ran hugged him and pressed him to his chest, like holding the most important treasure in the world.

Yang Anning was taken aback, but he quickly relaxed, and the sound of Ah Ran's solid heartbeat could be heard next to his ear, which made him feel at ease.Yang Anning said: "I feel a little hungry, how long have I slept?"

With a choked voice, Ling Ran said, "Two days."

Yang Anning rubbed his belly and said, "I slept for two days, no wonder I'm hungry. Is Dr. Zhang gone?"

Ling Ran let him go, pushed him to sit up with him, and said: "No, he will stay here for a while."

Yang Anning curled her lips: "It's my fault that I didn't make it clear to San'er. In fact, I don't need to ask a doctor for me anymore."

Ling Ran got off the bed after putting on his shoes and socks, and said, "An Ning, you should take a good look at your body."

Yang Anning sat on the bed, her hair hanging down to cover her face: "It's a waste to look at anything. I don't have many years to live with my body..."

Ling Ran turned around and faced him face to face, with a distorted expression.Ling Ran said, "What nonsense are you talking about?"

Yang Anning smiled: "Is there anything I can't say? I was worried before. San'er hasn't grown up yet. I'm gone. What will happen to Zheliu Villa? Now that San'er can take care of himself, even if I die, it's no good worried."

Ling Ran held his hand and asked, "What about me? What will I do if you die?"

Yang Anning looked at him strangely,