Can't hold hands

The wind from the air conditioner was blowing, making the whole space cool in an unseasonable way. I took the air conditioner that was folded into a pillow on one side, and unzipped it to cover my body.

Lin Jue spent a whole morning writing the song, several chords changed back and forth, and the melody was rarely melancholic.

It's not the first time I've watched Lin Jue compose, I like to watch him compose.When he sits on the piano, he is completely independent, neither seeing nor hearing, everything is the background, serious and devoted, that is the posture of an artist.I was about to leave, but when I heard the melody at his fingertips, I suddenly decided to stay.

What this composition brings to me is a rare kind of tenderness, affectionate and delicate notes, which put away all his wildness, like pouring out, like confessing.

A style that almost never has.

I finally took Lin Jue's words seriously, he said he was writing songs for me.

The space in the air-conditioned room seems to be completely isolated from the outside world, with only the bright yellow sunshine in summer as the only communication.There were only two people in the house, I closed my eyes, Lin Jue was in my ears, and fell asleep again at some point.

The swirling sunlight gradually disappeared, replaced by blue fluorescent sticks in front of the eyes, dotted together to form a large area.

Lin Jue was on a far away stage, holding his exclusive microphone, but not singing.

This should be his concert.

He was talking loudly to us—

"Keep loving me! Because I need a lot of love! A lot of love, so I can continue to survive in this world!"

The wind is all around my ears, the fans are shouting crazily, but I can only hear the wind, I also want to say I love you loudly, but in the end I just waved the light stick in my hand blankly.

When I woke up, I found that I didn't know when I collapsed on the sofa, and the air conditioner was blowing right in my face, so I opened my mouth quickly.

Someone once said that when you sleep with your face facing the wind, you will be paralyzed by the blown facial nerves.

Fortunately, I am not paralyzed.

Slightly relieved, I looked around the living room, but didn't find Lin Jue.

run away again?

I frowned, picked up my phone and checked the time, it was 12:30 noon.

What about Lin Jueren?

This question flashed in my mind, and I quickly put it aside, I stood up and decided to leave, anyway, I have nothing to do with him now... and I haven't changed my clothes all night in this hot day, I always feel rotten on my body.

"you're awake."

Just as I was walking to the entrance, Lin Jue suddenly came out of his bedroom.

"Are you hungry? Let's go eat!"

I looked at him silently for a while, Lin Jue was always smiling,

"Have you finished writing the song?"

"Well, the melody is roughly written out, and the details will be changed slowly later."

It really doesn't take long for Lin Jue to write a song, mainly because he needs too much accumulation before writing a song.

I didn't ask him any more, I bent down to put on my shoes, and opened the door of his house, Lin Jue would definitely follow.

"What to eat?" I asked.

"What do you want to eat?" He smiled.

"..."

When walking out of the community, Lin Jue put on his hat.

The sun was scorching hot, it was noon, and there were not many people on the street. Lin Jue's complexion was more wheat-colored, and he was very sexy in summer. After walking for a long time, his back was wet with sweat. I looked around the neighborhood, and there was a Hunan restaurant. , There are also Cantonese restaurants.

I know Lin Jue's taste, he can't eat spicy food very much, I usually skip Sichuan and Hunan cuisine when I eat with him... But I don't care about him now, I really want to eat Hunan cuisine, but due to the exercise last night , I can only turn and step into the door of the Cantonese restaurant.

When we walked in, a little girl came up to us, smiled and asked how many of us were there.

"Two."

Lin Jue hurried ahead of me to answer her question, and the girl turned to him.

"You—ah! You are..."

Her eyes widened suddenly, and I saw Lin Jue stretch out his hand with a smile, and made a shush gesture on his lips.

The little girl's face turned red instantly.

Tsk, his eyes are firing all the time.

"Please find a seat that is remote and unoccupied."

I whispered.

Celebrities are really troublesome, especially Lin Jue, who has a recognizable image and is famous in himself. Recently, he has bought a lot of traffic. There are a lot of people here, so it is very troublesome to be recognized.

"Mmm Good!"

The little girl nodded like a pounding garlic, blushing, and led us to the innermost place.

"Please please...please order food!"

I saw that she couldn't speak well, and Lin Jue didn't make a sound. He kept looking at me, and he was out of his mind.

No way, I can only ask the girl to leave first, and tell her not to spread the word. I saw a QR code on the desktop, and you can also order via WeChat here.

"Are you angry?"

When there were only the two of us left in the space, Lin Jue suddenly asked, I don’t want to answer this question,

"How long can you stay?"

After I ordered, I put my phone on the table. The girl came in to pour tea just now. This time she calmed down. After she went out, Lin Jue opened her mouth.

"The plane at eight o'clock tonight."

His tone was a little aggrieved, and I didn't look at him.

"Why do you think I broke up with you?"

"Because... I'm not stable enough..."

"What do you think of me? Lin Jue, tell me."

"Huh?" He was stunned, as if he couldn't understand what I said.

"Just say what you think of me."

"That... is a very rational person, but he loves me very much, and it is impossible not to love me in this life..."

I laughed, a little sad in my heart.

"Are you lacking in love, Lin Jue, is the reason you love me because I love you faithfully?"

He put his hands on my face,

"Don't laugh like that, you should be happier..."

I look at him,

"I love you, really, I will never hug anyone except you, I give you all my love, and hold my heart in your hands..."

"Yeah, I know, I know, I am the same, you are right, I need a lot of love, I have no sense of security, you gave me this..."

I heard footsteps approaching, and I broke away from his hand.

Two bowls of porridge, a drawer of shrimp dumplings, a stack of candied sweet potatoes, a stack of scallion pancakes, and a serving of mushroom soup.

"There are many people who love you," I watched the girl leave, "As long as you want, someone will love you anytime."

"You are different, only you give me a sense of security."

I took a breath and suddenly thought of the difference in our thinking from each other.

I am a pure science student, but he is completely an art student. Sensibility cannot give people security, and rationality cannot satisfy people, so we found each other.

"You hold me and don't let me fall off the edge of the cliff."

"Have a meal."

My mood became very illusory, I glanced at him and stopped talking.

"Are you going to leave me? One hundred..."

Lin Jue was still at the side and asked relentlessly.

"You let me think about it, anyway, you will be away for a while, and let us take a look at each other from a distance."

What we love may not be each other, but some kind of fantasy in the eyes, his frenzy, my rationality, and some things that are placed on each other, that's all.

Maybe I was too pessimistic, and Lin Jue also fell silent.

We haven’t seen each other in July. I don’t know if he has come back, but I will still read his news on the Internet. He has not released a new single, nor has a new scandal. Most of the Internet is his tour this year. meeting video.

Lin Jue should be busy with his August concert.

"Yan Baiyi, the one who has made a lot of noise recently, the thesis is falsified, is it your brother?"

At the beginning of August, I was called to drink tea by my boss.

"Ah."

I was a little uneasy. I didn't expect this kind of thing to be pulled on me. I was in the same department as that person when I was an undergraduate.

"Were you involved in his undergraduate thesis?"

I see the boss knocking on the table.

"I signed up for a competition with him at the time, and the paper came out except for the third author. I just wrote a short paragraph, which I wrote myself. At that time, I really didn't expect that they would be fake."

I didn't check it back then, but now it's found out, I'm afraid I offended someone.

"Well, that's easier to deal with, but there's a lot of trouble on his side. In this way, you go back this week and make a small report next week. Just explain what you wrote."

I agreed and left the office. When I went back, I thought about the so-called senior brother. I really don't have much impression of him.It was revealed that the thesis was falsified... Even if the thesis was many years ago, it was enough to make him unable to get along in the circle.

The academic circle is still relatively sensitive to this, so I don't know whose foot he tripped up, and it took so much trouble to step him down, and we have to implicate our group.

I sighed, there are still four days left in this week, counting it as a vacation.

When Han Hui found out about this, she happily called me out to eat hot pot, and Xu Ming found a job and went to work.

"Your little friend is really chasing me!"

She poured a pot of lettuce into the red soup.

"I'm afraid you are not afraid of stomach pain."

Even though I like spicy food, I have to raise my eyebrows. Vegetable leaves are the most spicy. The hot pot here is very authentic, and it belongs to the kind that can swell the mouth.

"I like it," Han Hui shrugged, "Your little friend is so cute!"

I opened a can of beer and clinked with her,

"You're not really going to poison him, are you? He's a boy."

"What's wrong?" Han Hui scooped up a large spoonful of red soup. I found that her taste was really strong recently. "I told him that I was sexually female, so he doesn't care!"

I took a sip of beer and didn't know what to say,

"He's in love with you?"

"That's what he said."

"It's just... crazy!"

I think of Chen Shixin, he has always been a little shy, very optimistic, he seems like a kid who really wants to blend in with the world, how could he love someone like Han Hui?

"Does he really love you? Is it you?"

Han Hui glared at me,

"Are you jealous? Hmph!" Then he picked out the peppercorns in the bowl, "Whether he loves me or not doesn't matter? Anyway, he just needs to find his love from me."

"Damn it! Are you really going to be with him?"

Han Hui didn't refute, I was really dumbfounded now,

"You are... scumbag!"