never ending love

(thirty)

2017.12.09

When I tell others, the story is false

When I talk to her from the bottom of my heart, she often only responds to me with a short sentence

Not like I described, she squeezed my hand after I finished speaking, give me another hug or something

She just sat a little far away from me and answered me with a short sentence like this

That's just my wish, my idea, my imaginary beautiful plot

None in essence, she doesn't like hugging and holding hands, and many of my

Hugs and stuff, some just what I begged her to get

One night I was walking with her on the street

The atmosphere is very good, so I quietly, step by step

Interlocking fingers with her

But she broke away quickly, with a greater force

I went back to hold her after a while, but she avoided it and refused, saying, "It's very hot."

I didn't even dare to express my dissatisfaction in silence

I'm too deep into it, although the emotional story is really abusive

【Daily indicators】

As for that self-destructive thought

I only mentioned it to her once and she showed interest

I dare not mention it to her again because I am afraid that she will become as world-weary as I am

I don't want to spoil her, maybe

(31)

2017.12.12

Hands are so cold today

feeling terrible

It wasn't like this before

It used to be easy to get cold hands

But I always hold her hand after warming myself,

And said to her "Look how warm my hands are"

This is about "burning with love"

I arm myself like enough to bear the suffering

Looks like enough to shelter her from the wind and rain

I know she can't do it like I imagined, she can't afford it

so i thought i would do it

In the end, she wasn't warmed by me quietly

Rather, I prefer to exile myself and leave me alone

【Daily comparison】

I would love her dearly and sacrifice myself to protect her

So who wants to feel sorry for me, who wants to look back at me

Who wants to hold my hand and kiss me

rub my head, hug me

Who wants to like me with sincerity

I don't want this to be my long-cherished wish that is still unfulfilled at the end, how sad