[Journey to the West] Tucao Emperor who was delayed by Buddhism

As a person involved, I want to say that I didn't see everything that happened to True Immortal Ruyi.

I am a bodhisattva who saves the suffering, but for some reason, I don't have the trouble to save the Ruyi True Immortal, alas.

Anyway, since I didn’t see the process of all this happening at all, I knew that my apprentice finally came to a conclusion, that is the unscientific conclusion that the human throat leads to all the organs in the stomach, but the result is good after all. , He thinks that everyone should take good care of their stomachs, pay attention to everything that lasts, and never eat indiscriminately, otherwise it will lead to pregnancy.

It's really... a remarkable nonsense.

……What can i say.

If one day Li Tianwang came to me to settle the score, saying that I had distorted his son's biological world view and made him have a diametrically opposite view of humans and gods, I could only shirk my responsibility and say that I did not teach him, it was He made it through his own experiments, which is amazing.

Hui An belongs to the kind of stubborn guy who just doesn’t believe what he hears, but only believes what he sees. I really can’t explain it to him. I can only let him hold such concepts and watch Then he wrote down his ideas in a small notebook.

I glanced at him while he was not paying attention, and there were small sentences such as "Master is a man", "Tathagata is really bald" and "A man can get pregnant if he drinks the wrong water". The first sentence is bold and underlined. Very painful lesson.

……

I'm so scared.

He wrote down all the things he had learned over thousands of years in a small notebook, and took what he wrote as common sense. What if he really preached like this later?Alas, he was always weird, so it's really weird to do this.

But we still have other tasks after all, so we can't stay outside the city for a long time. To be on the safe side, I decided to personally escort Jin Chanzi and his party across the country.

In order to avoid people accusing me of cheating on them, I deliberately turned into a man to protect them going west.After all, everyone knows that Avalokitesvara is a woman in the lower realm. As long as I become a man, even if someone suspects that I am Avalokitesvara, they will be stunned and hypnotize themselves. This is definitely not the real Avalokitesvara.

To be honest, it is still very peaceful here in Daughter Country. We entered the city soon, but I found a problem. No one in the city seemed to notice that we were all men.This is probably a problem of cognitive limitations. After all, they have never seen a man since they were born. Even if they do see a man, they will only think in their hearts: Ah, these women are dressed so strangely, and they don’t look good. Looks good.

Anyway, we walked all the way, and everyone looked at us with the eyes of "ah, foreigners are so ugly and pitiful", and they were not interested in us at all.

When we were halfway there, a child pointed at us and asked: Mom, why do foreigners dress so strangely?

Her mother said: Because they are all ugly.If you look ugly and want to dress nicely, it's really ugly.

... In fact, the little monk could have helped us get back a point, but unfortunately he just transferred a child and is in need of recuperation.

I don't think it's okay to go on like this, it's easy to discredit my Buddhism.

In the future, if all the female believers think we are ugly, if someone becomes a fairy, who will come to our Western Paradise to work?

Therefore, I decided to dedicate myself to my career, resolutely let my apprentice change from a lame man to his original appearance, and regained one point for the average appearance of my Buddhist school.

As for me, I think I should not be too ostentatious. I am still the ugliest one in the team. Because everyone knows that Guanyin of the South China Sea likes to be clean, I deliberately changed a few maggots in my hair, thinking that no one would recognized me.

In this way, we walked through the bustling and noisy streets, entered the imperial city, and entered the palace. All the unrest began when the king of the daughter country saw us.

The queen said that she had a dream yesterday, dreaming that the golden screen was full of colors and the jade mirror was shining brightly, and it turned out that there were foreigners coming.

But she also expressed sympathy for the looks of the few of us. After all, the daughter country is full of girls, and girls love beauty. The master and apprentice have worked hard all the way, and the little monk's white bun face was also tanned. Rustic, coupled with the absence of children, yellow and thin, it is really miserable.

The queen boldly expressed that she could give us a good meal, as much as we wanted.

When we were eating, she generously said that she could share her skin care experience with us, otherwise we girls would be dressed in shabby clothes, our skin is not good, and we don’t wear makeup. It's so pitiful.

When she said that, her courtiers carefully told her that we are all men.

After all, the empress had never seen a man since she was a child, and she was an emperor, and she didn't study foreign literature. She was very new to the concept of men, so she asked curiously what a man was.

The courtier is very embarrassed, after all, she has never seen a man, so she said very academically, it is a manifestation of the failure of the evolution of foreigners, our daughter country can have children by drinking water, and foreign countries need men to have children, and men can still grow They are ugly, they don't know how to pick clothes, they are stupid, but they are still advanced.

So the empress sympathized with us even more.

She shed tears at the thought of women in our country having to pair up with us ugly bastards to have babies.

It should be noted that people like her who play children and sit on the throne have eyes on the top of their heads, and basically don't look at us a few times. They only look at us in shock and carefully when they know that we are a rare species. Embarrassing, because apart from Hui An, all of us are half-bald. The queen thought about it and came to a conclusion: women have hair, men have no hair.

She solemnly asked the historian to write this sentence into the history books, after all, this was the first scientific achievement of the great empress.

But why did the prime minister say that Hui An is also a man, because Hui An didn't talk much before, and the empress didn't pay much attention to him, but when she saw him, she was stunned for a moment, because Hui An was a child who followed me to practice purely, not only eating well, And eat cleanly, when you are not angry, you are very delicate, so it is like a fairy descending from the earth to mix with us disheveled men, and the whole person is as delicate as the picture.

The queen saw that his skin was fine even if he didn't take care of it, and she firmly expressed that she would exchange skin care experience with him.

Hui An was not talkative, so the empress asked him: "Little Elder, what do you usually use as a mask for skin care?"

He didn't take Renhuang seriously at all, and sneered: "Heh."

The queen said again: "Little elder, you teach me your skin care method, and I am willing to exchange it with gold and silver."

Hui An heard her speak sincerely, and added two words this time: "Oh, mortal."

……

Seeing that he had spoken unscrupulously, I had to apologize for him immediately: "Your Majesty, atonement, my apprentice has been such a good skin since he was a child, and there is no way to maintain it. It is only because of the folk customs of the Tang Dynasty that the dialect for answering questions is different from that of this place. Please, Your Majesty." Something weird."

The empress was shocked: "How can you raise such a handsome disciple with a scarlet head? You must have some secret recipe!"

No, I really haven't, let us off the earthly gods who don't know how to take care of skin, Your Majesty.

I was thinking about how to explain this problem to her, Hui An suddenly jumped up and said to the queen: "Presumptuous, why are you talking to my master!"

……

He has been with me in the South China Sea for a long time, maybe now he is not very like a monk, and he has quarreled with the queen.

But I am very dedicated, I played my little monk very professionally, pulled Hui An's sleeves and dragged him to the chair to sit down, and ordered: "Shut up."

The empress was taken aback by him, and felt aggrieved: "I didn't say anything bad about him, I just told the truth. He's really a skinny guy."

Hui An also quibbled: "But my master is very good-looking."

The Queen: "He's a lame man, how can he look good?"

When I saw that he had a strange temper, I was afraid that he would anger the empress and cause trouble, so I forced him to shut up. After he had been stubborn for a while, he obediently shut up.

Although I stopped the possibility of him causing further trouble in time, the empress' eyes widened in astonishment, and after a while, she suddenly blushed and covered her chest.

???

Is there something wrong with the plot?

The queen wrote all over her face, "My God, this man dared to yell at me. He is really different. He is not at all the same as those coquettish sluts outside. Is this the feeling of being moved?"

……

This frightened me.

I can only say to the empress: "Your Majesty, my apprentice is suffering from madness, please don't blame me, Your Majesty."

But the queen didn't care, the queen's heart was already beating wildly.

I saw her lightly stretching her crescent eyebrows, using a pair of beautiful eyes to look at me and other mortals with the contempt of a king for a moment, then stood up proudly, looked down at Hui An, and suddenly said loudly:

"Foreign man, you have attracted my attention."

……

Hui An froze for a moment.

Hui An reached out to touch his chest, took out a small bag, and neatly added a sentence under the big thick line of "Master is a man": "My daughter is sick."

I nudged him and said in a low voice, "I'll solve the problem you caused, and don't leave any trouble in the mortal world!"

I am really sick.

I actually let my grumpy apprentice figure it out on his own.

I figured on my knees that I should have known he was going to screw things up!

However, I made a fatal mistake at that time.

I didn't think on my knees.

I thought about it.

So, Hui An was holding his small notebook, looked up at the Queen in astonishment, and said in disbelief, "Are you sick?"

……

The queen suddenly clutched her chest, her face flushed, and she fell to the ground.

Countless courtiers and officials rushed up to help her, yelling for the imperial doctor to come and save Her Majesty, or His Majesty will die.

A few of us sat awkwardly at the dinner table, everyone was dumbfounded, only Hui An, who caused trouble, was the calmest. Seeing that the queen was unconscious, he felt that there was less trouble, so he calmly began to eat.

The Queen trembled and said: "Aiqing, what did you say just now, what is the word for a foreign woman to match a man?"

The historian himself is not very clear about it. Although she is engaged in research, but this direction is relatively biased, subconsciously said: "Husband?"

The queen clutched her rapidly beating heart and said in a trembling voice:

"Then I want him to be my husband."

The author has something to say:

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After entering Kaifeng Mansion, Tang Sihui felt that she could not get married

…Six blind date partners were later proved to be the real murderer

...the fortune teller said that her marriage line went straight to the prison

...Master Bao has already seriously considered using her blind date to solve the case

In this way, even if a normal person likes her, they will be treated as a pervert, okay?

Suspect: Wants to fall in love with Captain Tang, wants to be rehabilitated

The real culprit: I want to wait for Captain Tang to fall in love with someone else, and I want to clean up

Zhan Zhao: There is no clue in the case, I want to urge my younger sister to fall in love

Bao Zheng: The case is a bit tricky, I want to suggest that Mr. Gongsun took Miss Tang on a blind date

Gongsun: The matchmaking center in Bianjing has blackmailed the younger sister, and wants to recruit relatives for the younger sister's public-funded Xiulou

Today's news from Kaifeng Prefecture: Chin Maoshu is also working very hard today to catch people who like Miss Tang and put them in jail!

Bai Yutang: "Miss Tang, this time the prisoner has a crush on you again. We suspect that your three views are not right. Please come with me."

——Today’s Captain Tang, he has not been able to find a serious person to fall in love with