he lived

I feel like I'm almost at the end of it.Yesterday I fell in the kitchen, the dishes smashed to the ground, and the blood flowed all over the floor, but I didn’t feel anything. The phantom next to me looked anxious, and I bent over and picked up the pieces bit by bit with a muffled sound. Pick it up and throw it in the trash.

After tidying up everything in the kitchen, I started to treat the wound on my body. The small ceramic fragments were stuck in the flesh, which should be very painful, at least in my memory, but now I don't feel too strong.I was thinking about it while treating the wound.This body is probably already dead.There were times when I even felt like my soul was floating in the air, watching every move of this body, expressionless and emotionless.

I knew something was wrong with my mental state, possibly serious, but I didn't want to deal with it.I really don't want to do anything now, I just want to lie on the bed, look at myself in another world, look at the phantoms around me, look at all kinds of hallucinations, I just don't want to return to the real world.I felt like I was stuck in the swamp, but I didn't want to escape. I was still grateful to the person who kicked me into the swamp, shouting please don't save me, sinking deeper and deeper.

I can't remember the last time I fell asleep, I feel that time has lost its effect on me, and I even scared myself when I looked in the mirror last time, how long has it been since I have changed It became another look, with dull eyes, deep-set eye sockets, prominent cheekbones, sallow complexion, and the whole person was thin and out of shape.The slightest movement in the house can arouse my nervous vigilance.I know that I can't last long if I go on like this, but I don't have the slightest idea to save myself.

For now, living is simply a punishment for oneself.