The Eunuch's Declaration of Loyalty

Chapter Six

Liu Qingtang felt a chill run through her body, and her eyelids felt so heavy she could barely lift them. (For faster updates, search "Lewen" on Baidu!)

She seemed to be trapped in a nightmare, the words of the eunuch who had sent her on her way in her past life echoing in her ears: "Sending the Empress Dowager to her death."

The shrill sound echoed repeatedly in the cold and desolate Cixi Palace, seemingly without end. A cool breeze carried the faint, mournful sobs and weeping sounds from the outer hall, desolate and heavy.

The windowpanes rattled in the autumn wind as the eunuch carrying the poisoned wine spoke words of imperial mercy, instructing her to depart with the honor of an empress dowager. Numbly, she picked up the icy wine and drank it down, then her stomach began to cramp, and her throat burned with a metallic taste. She had never suffered any physical pain in her life, yet this was her final act of torment.

The pain seemed endless, my stomach contorted in agony. Finally, my mind went blank, and I couldn't pinpoint the exact location of the pain; I only felt my entire body convulsing uncontrollably. I slid off the chair and fell to the floor, but no one helped me up. A bone-chilling cold seeped into my body from the floor…

Qin Shu knelt by the bedside, anxiously watching the unconscious Empress Dowager, completely at a loss for what to do. If he could, he truly wished he could bear this pain in her place.

Seeing that the Empress Dowager was not only talking nonsense but also trembling, with large beads of sweat rolling down her forehead, Qin Shu became increasingly flustered. He took a warm towel from the side and wiped the sweat from her forehead, calling out softly, "Empress Dowager, Your Majesty..."

Liu Qingtang was jolted awake from her nightmare by a familiar voice calling her name incessantly. Her mind was foggy, and the scenery before her was blurry. She stared at the person in front of her for a moment before weakly calling out, "Qin Shu?"

"Your Majesty, you're awake. This servant is Qin Shu, and this servant is here." Qin Shu was overjoyed to see that she had finally woken up, and the gloomy look on his face disappeared somewhat.

"Are you alright?" Liu Qingtang said softly. Qin Shu didn't hear her clearly, so he leaned closer and asked, "Does Your Highness have any instructions for this servant?"

Liu Qingtang didn't answer. Instead, she reached out from under the quilt and grabbed Qin Shu's hand, which was wiping her forehead, holding it tightly. She felt herself getting hot and cold, but Qin Shu's hand remained at a comfortable temperature. He obediently let her hold him, not daring to move or even think of struggling.

Whether in this life or the previous one, Qin Shu was always like this towards her, never refusing her. In the previous life, she often gave him tasks beyond his job responsibilities, and he never disobeyed or made excuses, never complaining about the difficulties he faced in doing those things, but simply silently doing his best for her. In this life, however, he felt uneasy and confused by her sudden closeness, but he never went against her wishes.

The longer Liu Qingtang spent with Qin Shu, the more she felt that he was carefully and solemnly cherishing her. This feeling was wonderful and irresistible.

Qin Shu dropped the handkerchief in her hand onto the pillow because of her sudden movement. Realizing what had happened, he quickly picked it up and placed it in the basin beside him. He tried his best to ignore the Empress Dowager's grip on his hand, but he still couldn't concentrate, and his eyes darted around.

The Empress Dowager was delirious from her illness, which was why she suddenly grabbed his hand. He told himself this in his heart, wishing the Empress Dowager could hold his hand forever while she was ill. As soon as he finished thinking this, Qin Shu mentally slapped himself. He couldn't bear to see the Empress Dowager suffer from illness. How could anyone bear to let someone like her suffer even a little? He had just been bewitched.

Even though only his hand was being grabbed, Qin Shu felt as if his entire arm was stiff as a stone. But when he tried to move forward slightly to make it easier for the Empress Dowager to hold his hand, he realized that not only his arm, but his whole body was stiff.

His other hand, resting on his knee, was already soaked with sweat, and even his back was sweating. Why couldn't he control his body every time the Empress Dowager touched him? What would he do if the Empress Dowager found out about this embarrassing situation?

After a while, hearing no movement, Qin Shu peeked at the Empress Dowager and found that she had fallen asleep again, still holding his hand. This time, she wasn't delirious or trembling; although her brows were still slightly furrowed, she looked better than before. Qin Shu relaxed, waited a moment, and then tentatively tightened his grip on the Empress Dowager's hand.

Only when she was asleep and unconscious did he dare to make these small movements, and even such a small action was enough to make him feel extremely satisfied. He quietly moved forward again, pressing himself close to the bed, so as to be closer to the Empress Dowager.

Liu Qingtang wasn't actually asleep; she was merely holding Qin Shu's hand and closing her eyes to rest. Her head was throbbing, she felt dizzy, her chest was tight, and she felt nauseous; she simply couldn't sleep.

So Liu Qingtang felt Qin Shu's hand, which she was holding, tighten its grip slightly, and she could also feel him staring at her. This realization made the dazed Liu Qingtang inexplicably amused. She had seen Qin Shu so cautiously keeping to himself these past few days, never daring to overstep his bounds, and had even begun to doubt whether she had misunderstood his feelings for her. Now she realized that he had simply been too careful to express his emotions.

That's true. In his past life, he was just like that, not wanting anyone to see his feelings. He was a very self-aware person, never overstepping boundaries or losing his composure, always acting appropriately, so even if he liked her, he certainly wouldn't dare to show it at all.

Liu Qingtang was very clever; as long as she was willing to care, she could completely understand his thoughts and feelings. For example, at this moment, she saw his inferiority complex and his careful cherishing of her in his subtle actions. He probably felt that if she knew his feelings, she would be furious and punish him.

If it were her past life, she probably would have, but now, she simply couldn't bring herself to do it. This wasn't the first time Liu Qingtang had felt she had gone too far since her rebirth. Ever since she categorized Qin Shu as someone she cared about, she felt increasingly indebted to him.

The approaching footsteps broke the awkward atmosphere between the two in the inner room. Zhuiyi entered and was about to say something when she saw the Empress Dowager holding Qin Shu's hand. She choked up slightly, then asked softly, "Has Your Majesty woken up?"

Liu Qingtang opened her eyes, released Qin Shu's hand and turned to press her forehead, saying calmly, "If the imperial physician is here, let him in."

Zhuiyi acknowledged, lowered the light gauze curtains on both sides of the bed, and then asked Taoye to summon the imperial physician waiting in the outer room. Qin Shu stood up and silently took a few steps back, quickly glancing at the Empress Dowager through the gauze curtains before lowering his head, concentrating on acting like a servant. However, only he knew the deep sense of loss in his heart at that moment.

Seeing that no one was paying attention to him, Qin Shu used his other hand to cover the hand that the Empress Dowager had just held, hidden in his sleeve. Just gently stroking it like that, he felt as if he were touching her soft, warm hand. His lowered, half-closed eyes were filled with tender affection, and a little bit of helplessness, because lately he had become increasingly unsure how to conceal this overly intense emotion.

After examining the patient through the curtain, the imperial physician withdrew to write the prescription. The carefree Taoye accompanied the physician to get the medicine, completely unaware of the somewhat conflicted expression on her older sister Zhuiyi's face.

"Qin Shu should go and rest too," Liu Qingtang suddenly said.

Qin Shu didn't want to leave, but he couldn't refuse, so he could only agree and then leave.

Liu Qingtang watched Qin Shu's figure disappear through the curtain before sighing and showing a pained expression. Zhuiyi hung up the light gauze curtains on both sides again and asked with concern by the bedside, "Master, are you feeling any better now?"

Liu Qingtang hummed in response, noticing that her expression was a little off, and asked, "What's wrong?"

Zhuiyi hurriedly smiled and said, "It's nothing, Master. I was just worried about your health."

"Even Zhuiyi would lie to your young lady?"

Hearing Liu Qingtang's self-reference from her youth, Zhuiyi smiled. She wasn't as reserved as before, but her expression still held some hesitation. Finally, seeing Liu Qingtang's pale face, she steeled herself and said, "Master, I've served you for so many years. From the Liu family to this palace, we've seen how hard you've worked. I'm so glad you have...someone you like, but Qin Shu is...a eunuch. How could you have fallen for him?"

“It’s not that I think you’re wrong, Master, but I’m worried about you. I always see Qin Shu as gloomy and unapproachable. He looks at people with cold eyes and doesn’t talk much. If you really want to be with him, it will be so difficult for you. I’m really worried that you’ve made a mistake… I know that I’m overstepping my bounds, but it’s so hard for me to keep quiet.”

Even if the sisters all felt it wasn't worthwhile for their mistress to remain a widow for the late emperor she'd barely met, they still couldn't have chosen such a eunuch. Even if some palace maids and eunuchs were in relationships, it was out of necessity—they wanted someone to rely on within the palace, or companionship in their later years since they couldn't leave. How could someone of their noble status like their mistress possibly be involved with a eunuch? Zhuiyi didn't voice these thoughts, awkwardly stopping her conversation.

In fact, Liu Qingtang was somewhat moved by Zhuiyi's words. She didn't know why Zhuiyi thought she had those kinds of feelings for Qin Shu, but Zhuiyi's words gave her another idea.

Liu Qingtang was certain that her feelings for Qin Shu were different from Qin Shu's feelings for her. But one thing she was certain of was that she wanted Qin Shu to stay by her side and wanted him to be happy.

She had been pondering whether Qin Shu wanted fame or fortune most, and only now did she suddenly remember that Qin Shu had died for her in his previous life, which showed that he loved her very much. So perhaps what he wanted most was... her?

Liu Qingtang thought again about what Zhuiyi had said, "If Master and Qin Shu were together," and found that she didn't feel any aversion to the idea. In that case, perhaps she could give it a try?

Thinking of Qin Shu's stiff body in response to her intimate gestures, Liu Qingtang suddenly narrowed her eyes, revealing a hint of eagerness. She said to Zhuiyi, who was still nervously standing beside her, "Once the medicine is ready, let Qin Shu serve it to you."

Seeing that her mistress hadn't listened to her at all and had even tacitly agreed with her previous guess, Zhuiyi could only sigh helplessly in her heart. Regardless, if her mistress insisted on being with Qin Shu, she would have to protect Cining Palace for her mistress to prevent any rumors that might harm her mistress.

Zhuiyi, who was troubled about how to deal with the aftermath for her master, was unaware that it was only after her well-intentioned advice that her master suddenly had an epiphany.

Author's Note: Jinling threw a grenade in July.

A truly lazy person threw a landmine.

Taotaro threw a landmine

Please don't be careless, Mr. Sa, go ahead and throw a landmine.

Fat Cat threw a landmine

[It's still the thank-you list, and I suddenly realized I can find a pattern in it, which shows how much the girls like the chapter content (touches chin)]

I hate academic discussions in the comments section, and I hate being asked to change the settings I like—my mood directly affects my typing speed (*￣0￣)ノ