The Eunuch's Declaration of Loyalty

Chapter Four

Forcibly taking servants... Come to think of it, she had always been dutiful in her past life, and now it seems utterly pointless. A woman's best years wither away within these palace walls; it's truly not worth it.

The distinct knuckles of his hand didn't stiffen for long; he quickly relaxed, much more so than he had this morning. It was a pity Qin Shu had recovered so well. Liu Qingtang used some force to teach him how to grind the ink before letting go and sitting down. Focusing on the memorials, Liu Qingtang no longer had the leisure to think about other matters.

Qin Shu, seemingly composed, secretly breathed a sigh of relief only when he saw that the person beside him was no longer looking at him. Just now, her hand was on his, guiding him to rub the inkstone; he had practically forgotten to breathe. He had bitten his tongue, struggling to calm himself down. Even now, to avoid the Empress Dowager noticing his unusual behavior, he kept his head down, biting his tongue, and dared not utter a sound. His other hand was trembling inside his sleeve.

He had to control himself; he absolutely couldn't let anyone see through him, or he'd miss this opportunity again. Qin Shu didn't know why he'd suddenly gained the Empress Dowager's favor, but he couldn't let this chance slip by.

If he could only watch from afar, he wouldn't have so many fantasies. But once he got close, he never wanted to leave her side. Standing beside her had been his wish for a long time, and now he realized he wanted even more. But these rebellious thoughts had to be hidden deep inside, never to be seen by anyone.

He didn't care to die, but even in death, he didn't want to see the Empress Dowager's contemptuous expression after learning of his despicable thoughts. To be looked at with that kind of gaze by the person he cherished was probably more shameful and unbearable than being naked and talked about by everyone while his crippled body was exposed.

The scent of ink mingled with the delicate fragrance of orchids emanating from the Empress Dowager beside him, creating a unique and rich aroma. Qin Shu felt his rapidly beating heart gradually calm down, and in the tranquility, he felt a stolen sense of satisfaction. What could be better than this, when they were so close?

Having ground the ink to almost the required level, Qin Shu quietly withdrew his hand and took a step back, standing silently to Liu Qingtang's left rear. Listening to the sound of turning pages, Qin Shu finally couldn't help but quietly raise his head to look at the person engrossed in reviewing the documents.

From his angle, he could just see her long, graceful neck, her black hair skillfully styled into a cloud-like bun at the back of her head by skilled palace maids. Exquisite jewelry adorned her, making her appear dignified and noble, inspiring no thought of ever aspiring to reach her. With her head bowed, her flawless profile was revealed, her delicate eyebrows slightly furrowed by the contents of the memorial, her slender hand holding a vermilion brush, lightly sweeping across the pages, leaving some annotations with flowing grace.

Everyone in the palace said that the Empress Dowager's calligraphy was comparable to that of the famous calligrapher Yun Huaiqi from the previous dynasty. Qin Shu had never had the chance to see it before, but now that he saw it, he felt that those characters were a thousand times, a hundred times better than the ones he had occasionally seen in books.

Bamboo shadows were cast on the windowpane, rustling softly in the breeze. Thin white smoke rose slowly from the incense burner not far away. In this quiet, bright light, a beautiful woman's delicate hands moved deftly, wielding ink, the fragrance lingering gently. The scene was a picture-perfect painting from any angle, yet Qin Shu suddenly lowered his head and clutched his wrist. A stronger sense of inferiority than usual rose within him, making him unable to even look at the beautiful woman.

Liu Qingtang was completely unaware of Qin Shu's struggle. She put all the commemorative documents she had reviewed together, put down her pen, and stretched her wrists.

"Your Majesty, the medicine is ready. Should we use it now?" asked Zhuiyi, who was outside, as Zhuiyi put down her pen.

"Bring it in." Hearing about taking medicine, Liu Qingtang frowned subconsciously. Taking medicine was one of the things she hated most since childhood, but she was probably overthinking things and wasn't feeling well. Taking the medicine early would prevent her condition from worsening. Life is full of things that we have to compromise on even though we don't like them, but being alive is already the best thing in the world, and she never wanted to experience the feeling of dying again.

He lowered his eyes, picked up the bowl and drank it all in one gulp. He rinsed his mouth with tea, but a bitter taste still lingered. Zhuiyi served him some candied fruit at the right moment, and Liu Qingtang put one in his mouth, which finally eased his frown.

Speaking of taking medicine, it reminded Liu Qingtang of something. In her previous life, she always had some minor health problems due to overwork. Later, she couldn't remember when it started, but she often drank many delicious medicinal dishes. After that, her health gradually improved, and those annoying minor ailments decreased.

One day, out of curiosity, she inquired and learned that it was a folk remedy that the head steward, Qin Shu, had searched far and wide for. At the time, she thought Qin Shu was quite scheming; knowing she disliked taking medicine, he had gone to great lengths to find medicinal recipes to please her, and such flattery might have ulterior motives. Now, looking back, she realized she had quite a few prejudices against him.

That's how most people are; if they dislike someone, they assume that everything that person does has an ulterior motive. Now that she's discovered his good qualities, all those things that once proved he was "scheming" have turned into genuine concern for her. Thinking about it carefully, she's really quite ridiculous.

Zhuiyi withdrew again. Liu Qingtang originally wanted to continue reviewing the memorials, but then she thought of those things and looked at Qin Shu, who was standing silently behind her.

"Qin Shu, come forward."

Upon hearing the Empress Dowager's words, Qin Shu knew she was about to do something that both filled him with anticipation and fear. Her intimacy brought him both joy and agonizing pain.

"These candied fruits are quite good, would you like to try some?"

"This servant is of lowly status and dares not..." Qin Shu replied subconsciously.

"Alright, I know you always follow the rules, but this is an imperial decree. Do you intend to disobey?" Without giving Qin Shu any chance to refuse, Liu Qingtang enthusiastically picked up a candied fruit and beckoned to him with her finger.

Qin Shu was a sensible person, so seeing this, he didn't say anything more, but carefully leaned forward to get closer to the Empress Dowager, who seemed to be watching a good show.

Seeing that he stepped forward readily without fussing about etiquette, Liu Qingtang was satisfied. However, when she held the candied fruit to his lips and saw that he hesitated and only opened his mouth a little, she urged, "Hurry up, it's tiring for me to hold my hand up."

Qin Shu steadied himself, opened his mouth, and deftly took the candied fruit held between the two slender fingers, then immediately stepped back. The sweet taste exploded in his mouth, and his tongue, which he had bitten until it was numb, instantly regained sensation.

Under Liu Qingtang's watchful gaze, Qin Shu tried his best to remain calm as he chewed the candied fruit in his mouth in small bites. After swallowing, he respectfully bowed and said, "Thank you for the reward, Your Majesty the Empress Dowager."

"I think you're quite good and want to promote you. You won't have to be so formal when you're by my side in the future." Liu Qingtang said slowly, casually surveying Qin Shu's face, finally stopping at his lips.

Qin Shu wasn't exactly handsome, but he was surprisingly pleasing to the eye the more you looked at him. At least Liu Qingtang found him quite agreeable now, even though he still had that gloomy face devoid of much emotion. But her mood had changed, and so had her opinion.

On this face, which wasn't particularly striking, were nicely shaped thin lips. It's said that people with thin lips are cold-hearted, but that doesn't seem to apply. Liu Qingtang had already experienced Qin Shu's unexpectedly persistent and deep affection.

"Qin Shu, would you be willing to serve by my side?"

Feeling uncomfortable under the Empress Dowager's gaze, Qin Shu suddenly heard this question and immediately replied without thinking, "This servant is willing... It is a blessing from my past life to be able to serve by the Empress Dowager's side." He wanted to say something more to express his loyalty, but his mind seemed to have gone blank and he couldn't think of any good words.

Qin Shu wanted to smile wryly. He could handle others well, but he became tongue-tied in front of the Empress Dowager, even though he wanted to show his best side more than ever at such times.

"A blessing from your past life?" Touched by these words, Liu Qingtang murmured and repeated them before suddenly laughing, "Then you must have suffered a lot in your past life."

"I never believed in cause and effect before, but now I do." Liu Qingtang leaned back in her armchair and stretched out her hand, which was still stained with candied fruit, towards Qin Shu.

Qin Shu paused for a moment before understanding and took a small step forward, carefully lifting the delicate hand and wrapping her fingers with a wet wipe placed nearby, gently wiping away the sugar stains.

Liu Qingtang stared at Qin Shu, who seemed to be doing something extremely important, and noticed a faint blush creeping up behind his ears. She was momentarily surprised. Could it be that Qin Shu was... shy? She had always thought that Chief Steward Qin Shu never blushed, but she hadn't expected him to be so thin-skinned.

The thought that he might have felt embarrassed by some of her unintentional actions in the past, but she hadn't noticed, gave Liu Qingtang the illusion that she had been taken advantage of.

Finding it amusing, Liu Qingtang picked up a candied fruit with her right hand, which was resting on her chin, and put it in her mouth. Then she stretched out her right hand, which was also covered in sugar stains, in front of Qin Shu.

"This one is dirty too."

Qin Shu answered softly, releasing her clean left hand and wiping her right. His movements were clumsy, at least compared to the well-trained palace maids who specialized in serving food, but Liu Qingtang unexpectedly enjoyed his awkward yet earnest manner. Since being with this person was more comfortable than usual, perhaps she could let him serve her more often in the future.

From the moment she opened her eyes again and saw this familiar world, she had already decided to treat Qin Shu better to repay his past kindness in protecting her. However, she hadn't yet figured out a specific way to repay him, so she decided to keep him close for now and see what he wanted. She was the esteemed Empress Dowager; she could give him both fame and fortune.

At this moment, Qin Shu felt as if he were in hell one moment and in heaven the next, a myriad of emotions surging within him, yet he couldn't find a suitable way to describe them. He held the hand of the person he longed for, wanting to grasp it tightly without hesitation, but reason fiercely suppressed him. He felt as if he had used all his strength, but in reality, he was only gently holding that hand, as if holding the most precious treasure in the world.

The time was actually very short, but Qin Shu felt as if millions of years had passed. When she casually withdrew her hand, Qin Shu felt that she almost didn't have the strength to stand up, and her legs felt as soft as if she were walking on cotton. She swallowed and tasted the lingering sweetness in her mouth. Recalling the candied fruit that she had just been fed by her own hands, even her heart, which had become so humble that it was almost turning into mud.

Perhaps the Empress Dowager just found him amusing and treated him like a pet, the kind of animal that wags its tail and begs for attention, and teases him occasionally. Even telling himself this, Qin Shu found himself still feeling so satisfied that he didn't know what to do.

How could he... be so infatuated with the Empress Dowager?

Author's Note: While writing, I kept mentally screaming for the poor Grand Eunuch, "Empress Dowager, you pesky little devil!"

Speaking of which, we still have to use a towel to wipe it now, but later we can just lick it clean! [laughs]