Stop pretending, I'm a security guard, a five-star general!

He took out his phone and started scrolling through short videos.

"Hey hey! No more worries about three meals a day, today I'm having Lao Ba's secret recipe mini burgers..."

Upon hearing this prelude, Qin Yu decisively turned off his phone.

Your mother's kiss... that's the power of big data...

He was taking a dump when he came across this toilet food expert.

This is absolutely disgusting, disgusting to the core!

With this in mind, he immediately opened Weibo to address a few emotional issues.

[My grandmother, Zhao Zilong of Changshan]:

"Master, I have a girlfriend, and we use matching QQ profile pictures. But one day, I suddenly discovered that she changed her profile picture."

"Later, I watched over a thousand episodes of Detective Conan and learned all sorts of detective techniques, only to suddenly realize that she had actually started dating another boy in our class."

“I was furious, so I ran over and asked her why she betrayed me.”

"She told me with a straight face that when she was with me, she could only afford to eat 50 cents worth of Little Chef instant noodles every day, but when she was with that boy, she could eat 1 yuan worth of Little Raccoon instant noodles."

"She said that as a girl, what's wrong with wanting to pursue a higher quality of life? She blamed me for not being ambitious enough, leaving me speechless."

"My only regret now is that I met the girl I wanted to protect for the rest of my life when I was at my most vulnerable."

"Master, what should I do now?"

Qin Yu: "..."

Good grief, if the combined age of these two is over 18, then he loses.

[Emotional Master Yu Sang]: "May I ask how old you are this year, little friend?"

[My Grandma Zhao Zilong of Changshan]: "Gui... what's the second character? I don't know it."

[Emotional Master Yu Sang]: "I just wanted to ask how old you are this year?"

[My Grandma Zhao Zilong from Changshan]: "Oh, I just turned eight this year. At such a young age, I've already put on the red scarf and become a proud Young Pioneer!"

[Emotional Master Yu Sang]: "6!"

"Little friend, I don't have much to say, so I'll just give you sixteen big words."

[My grandmother, Zhao Zilong of Changshan]: "Master, please speak!"

[Emotional Master Yu Sang]: "Read more books, read more newspapers, eat less snacks, and sleep more."

(P.S.: Don't ask why it's sixteen characters; the answer is that my math was taught by the PE teacher.)

After resolving the child's emotional problem, Qin Yu chuckled and continued sitting on the toilet chair, resolving other people's emotional problems.

He sat there for more than half an hour, until his buttocks were almost dried out, before he remembered to stand up and leave the toilet.

Afterwards, Qin Yu sat down at his computer and began to think about what to write for his new book.

After all, it's clear that the previous book can't be written anymore.

After thinking for a long time, Qin Yu decided to play it safe and not try anything provocative.

Immediately, he opened his typing software, started typing, and wrote:

"Soul Power, Level Three!"

Time passed slowly, and the sound of 'pat-pat-pat' could be heard from Qin Yu's room from time to time.

Don't get me wrong, that's the sound of him typing on the keyboard.

"Thirty years to the east of the river, thirty years to the west of the river, don't bully young people into poverty!"

"I, Xiao Huo, will remember this humiliation!"

After typing the last two lines, Qin Yu finally took his hands off the keyboard and stretched out a big yawn.

In four hours, he wrote 10,000 words, which can be considered as writing the first minor climax of the novel.

He immediately proofread it, and after confirming that there were no typos, he uploaded it to the Tomato Novel website.

Because of the popularity of his previous book, Qin Yu's author account already has many loyal fans.

Upon seeing Qin Yu's new book, many readers immediately came to read it, and dozens of comments appeared in the book review section in an instant.

“呜呜呜，作者大大，为啥上本书下架了啊？写得这么好，让我每天都有动力学习求导函数?0?0?0?1?0?1?0?3?5?4?6?3?0?9?0?1?0?1?0?3?5?5。”

"Sigh, ever since that book was taken off the shelves, my health has improved day by day, and I no longer need to take nutritional supplements. But, although my body is no longer empty, my spirit feels inexplicably empty."