Rebirth to Save Myself

During her year in kindergarten, Su Xia perfectly avoided two embarrassing incidents, and with no harassment from little kids, she successfully advanced to first grade.

Upon receiving her first-grade textbook, Su Xia eagerly opened it and began reading. Although she now possessed the mental capacity of a twenty-nine-year-old, she had long forgotten most of her first-grade knowledge and needed to review and reinforce it. Having resolved to study diligently, she couldn't rely on her past knowledge and arrogantly assume she could easily outperform those little kids.

Because I attended a public elementary school in the countryside, the tuition was only about one hundred yuan per semester. My grandmother wouldn't be stingy with the money, but since the school gave out workbooks every semester, I had to find my own way to use up my pencils and erasers.

"You're just going to elementary school, why do you need so many pens? You can't write many words anyway. Go ask your cousin to give you a few." Grandma waved her hand impatiently, signaling Su Xia not to bother her in the kitchen; she had other things to do.

Su Xia reluctantly left the kitchen and headed towards her uncle's room, hoping her cousin was home and could give her some pencils. Otherwise, her grandmother wouldn't buy them, and the school wouldn't provide them, making it difficult to do her homework.

Unfortunately, my cousin wasn't there. Not only was she absent, but my uncle's family was also gone; they'd probably all gone to my aunt's house. My aunt is from the village, and her parents run a small eatery on the street, selling everything from steamed buns and dumplings to noodles and wontons. My cousin often ate at my grandparents' house.

Su Xia thought for a moment. Her neighbor, Aunt Wang, had a daughter who was the same age as her cousin and in the same class. So she went to Aunt Wang's kitchen door, knocked gently, and asked, "Aunt Wang, is Sister Yun home?"

"She's in her room upstairs, what's wrong?" Aunt Wang put down her wood-chopping knife and came out while wiping her hands.

"No, I just wanted to ask if Sister Yun had any pencils that were too short and unwanted, so I could have a few." Su Xia smiled sheepishly.

"Xia is in first grade now. Your sister Yun's pencils are hardly used anymore. The ones the school gave us last year for Children's Day are still here. I'll have her find them for you." Aunt Wang felt sorry for this child whose parents were no longer around. Her grandmother couldn't even bear to spend money on a pencil that cost a penny. She guessed that the old lady had made her ask for it.

"Thank you, Aunt Wang, but I don't need too many, two will be enough." Su Xia waved her hand. She already felt bad about taking them for free, so how could she take more? First graders don't have much homework, so two pencils a semester is enough if she uses them sparingly. She can ask her cousin for a few more when she comes back, and that will last until the school gives out pencils next June 1st.

"Ah Yun, get some pencils and an eraser for Ah Xia," Aunt Wang called upstairs.

"Okay, let her come up and get it," Wang Yun replied from upstairs.

"Go ahead," Aunt Wang nudged Su Xia, urging her to go upstairs and get it.

"Thank you, Aunt Wang." Su Xia bowed to Aunt Wang and then went up the stairs next to her.

"This child is so polite." Aunt Wang was also surprised by Su Xia's bowing to her, then she put it out of her mind and went back to the kitchen to continue chopping wood.

Upstairs, Wang Yun handed Su Xia, who was standing at the door, three unsharpened pencils and a small piece of black eraser.

"Thank you, Sister Yun." Su Xia thanked her again, making Wang Yun feel embarrassed.

She was initially a little awkward because of her mother's words—why give away her own things, especially an eraser?—so she took an eraser out of her pencil case and cut off a corner for her. She didn't expect Su Xia to thank her so sincerely; she felt a little ashamed.

So he said, "This pencil hasn't been sharpened yet. I'll sharpen it for you."

"No need, no need, I'll just take it to the kitchen and whittle it with a machete later. I won't disturb your studies any longer, I'll be going now." After saying that, Su Xia walked down the stairs on the other side of the corridor.

When Su Xia entered the kitchen, her grandmother, seeing the three pencils in her hand, assumed they were from her cousin and didn't say much. She simply let Su Xia pick up a machete almost as tall as herself and start sharpening the pencils. Her aunt, holding her younger cousin, didn't offer to help. Su Xia hadn't intended for them to help anyway; she'd sharpened so many pencils herself before, how could she possibly cut herself?

That evening, after finishing her chores in the kitchen, Grandma was about to go upstairs when Aunt Wang stopped her in the living room and spoke to her for a while. Grandma suppressed her anger and went upstairs to Su Xia's room. Seeing Su Xia carefully putting her pencil into her schoolbag, she couldn't help but recall what Aunt Wang had said to her.

"Grandma, Xia is already in elementary school, why won't you buy her a pencil?"

"What nonsense are you talking about? Why would I hesitate to buy it for her?" Grandma quickly retorted.

“If you buy it for her, she can’t just come back to me, Yun’er, and ask for it. Even though her parents aren’t home, the child’s schooling can’t be neglected. These days, which child doesn’t go to school? If they don’t go to school, where will they find a job?” Aunt Wang patiently advised, hoping that Grandma would understand the reasoning behind it.

"Oh dear, why did this child go to Yun'er to get a pen? I guess I didn't explain it clearly. I gave Ah Xin money a long time ago to help buy some pencils for Ah Xia. So when she brought it up today, I told her to go ask Ah Xin for them." Grandma tried to smooth things over.

"Oh dear, it's not the child's fault. Anyway, my Yun uses mechanical pencils now, so giving her a few won't be a problem." Aunt Wang could tell that Grandma was lying to save face, but after all, she was Grandma's own grandmother. If she didn't love her, there was nothing she could do. She could only say a few words occasionally to tell her not to go too far.

"I'm so sorry, I'll talk to her about it later."

"it's okay no problem."

Su Xia put down her pencil, looked up and saw her grandmother standing in the doorway, and asked, "Grandma, aren't you coming in?"

Grandma heard Su Xia calling her, so she went into the room and closed the door. She said in a particularly fierce tone, "I told you to go to your cousin for a pencil, why didn't you go? You went to A-Yun's place, but she's not related to you at all. How dare you ask her for it? These aren't favors. You're just a child, and I'll have to pay back the favors you owe. You've got a good plan!"

"Grandma, my cousin wasn't there when I went to look for her," Su Xia replied softly.

"She's not here. If she's not here, why don't you wait until she's there before you go get it? Can't you be more flexible? Why do you have to ask for a pencil at that particular time?" Grandma ignored Su Xia's explanation and launched into another tirade.

"I understand, I'll be more careful next time." Su Xia could only lower her head and apologize, knowing that no matter how much she said, Grandma would still think she was wrong.

"What bad luck! He's so dull-witted, he's obviously not cut out for studying." After saying that, Grandma turned on the TV, took the remote, and lay down on the bed to watch TV.

Su Xia could only slowly crawl from the foot of the bed to the inside and then watch along with them.

"Go to bed at 8:30 if you can't get up for school tomorrow, and I won't wake you up."

"Got it, grandma."